30 Signs You’ve Found A Man Who Can Handle An Alpha Female

The sign of a real man? The guy who can handle your strong personality

  1. He doesn’t call you a bitch just because you speak your mind.
  2. He likes when you challenge him…
  3. ..because your no-bullshit-attitude brings you two closer.
  4. He might admit you’re complicated…
  5.  …but he enjoys your strong, complex mind.
  6. He’s been bored in the past with others who were passive and never took charge.
  7. He’s tough but easygoing.
  8. ..because he isn’t easily hurt or offended by your bluntness.
  9. He is excited—not threatened—by your life outside the relationship.
  10. …your career, friends, family, work: he wants to hear about all of them.
  11. He doesn’t waste your time with excessive lateness or flake-outs.
  12. He totally gets that your time is just as valuable as his own.
  13. He doesn’t test your emotional boundaries by playing the cold shoulder.
  14. So you don’t spend nights wondering if he cares about you.
  15. He seems energized by your energy, not drained by it.
  16. When you’re making lots of plans and taking charge, he thinks it makes you awesome, not bossy.
  17. He encourages you to follow your dreams, no matter how crazy they are.
  18. …because he gets that you won’t ever be truly happy as a stay-at-home gal.
  19. He doesn’t walk out when you have late night fights…
  20. …when you’re angry, he takes all your words to heart rather than being turned off by how forward you can be.
  21. On days or nights when you’re busy because you have to put your career first, he doesn’t take it to mean you don’t care about him.
  22. In fact, he seems proud that you’re such a go-getter.
  23. On days or nights, you spend with friends or family, he never gets possessive.
  24. On your girls’ night, he’s happy watching the game, not blowing up your phone jealous about what you’re doing out without him.
  25. He doesn’t second-guess your decisions…
  26. ..but he isn’t afraid to tell you what he really thinks when you need to hear some hard truths.
  27. He doesn’t see your personality as a barrier to intimacy.
  28. He knows that you can hold onto your independence and hold on to him at the same time.
  29. Your Alpha-ness ? you can’t be loving, too.
  30. He gets that you love just as strong as you live all the other parts of your life.

21 Reasons To Date A Girl Who Drinks Beer

Most guys assume that when you bring around your girl, everything’s gotta be censored: no gross shit and no crude shit. Unless, of course, your girl is a beer drinking gal: a chick who gets down with a brew, can hang.

She can do a funnel, a shotgun, a keg stand, a beer slide, and win at beer pong or flip cup on any given day. Basically, 11 out of 10 of the guys will approve:

  1. She’s a cheap date: no $15.00 martinis here.
  2. She’d rather go to a sports bar than a stuffy club…
  3. She calls ‘vodka sodas’ skinny bitches
  4. Because that’s who orders them.
  5. She knows the difference between lager, wheat, ale, stout, pilsner, IPA…
  6. And even if she doesn’t, she’s at least tried ‘em all.
  7. She’s never gonna hand over her warm butt…(you know, the end of a beer that’s warm and flat)…
  8. Because she always finishes her beer.
  9. She knows how to open a beer with something other than a bottle opener.
  10. You can have burping contests with her.
  11. If you piss the bed…NBD.
  12. She’s done it before.
  13. Plus, she knows that it’s mostly beer…not piss.
  14. If you pick up the phone and say Wassssssssup
  15. It won’t piss her off.
  16. She will watch the Premier League and call it footie, not soccer.
  17. If she’s drinking a margarita, it’s got an upside down Corona in it.
  18. Munich is on her list of places she needs to go.
  19. When you wake up with a massive hangover, she’ll hand you a cold one…
  20. And when your girlfriend hands you a cold beer at 11am…
  21. That is when you know you’ve won in life.

Why My Boyfriend Doesn’t Need Social Media For Us To Stay Connected

Today, our relationships are defined as legitimate when we become “Facebook official.” People judge couples based on how many pictures they post on their social media accounts, and whether they make each other their #wcw/#mcm. It’s nice to be able to flaunt your bae by tagging him in your adorable pics, but I have some news for you – your relationship is not confined to your social networks. At all.

Let me tell you why. The best part of my relationship is that my boyfriend doesn’t have social media.

There is zero paranoia. Social media brings this overwhelming cloud of curiosity and insecurity in relationships. “OMG, he liked her selfie, what an asshole.” “Who is this girl and why does she follow my boyfriend?” “Why am I not his Snapchat best friend anymore?” My boyfriend doesn’t have a Facebook, so we’re not Facebook official BUT I promise you that we’re 100% legitimate. Hard to process, right? He doesn’t have an Instagram, but I can still post a picture of us that makes me smile on my own account. He doesn’t have a Snapchat, but I can send him funny selfies whenever I want.

The best part? I never have to worry about unnecessary and petty jealousy. I don’t have to be tempted to check his Snapchat best friends. I don’t have to worry about girls who follow him on twitter or Instagram. I don’t have to check his Twitter to see if he #subtweets me. We can ACTUALLY communicate with each other in a healthy, old-fashioned way instead of relying on virtual signals. Often times our generation gets so wrapped up in plastering our relationships all over the internet that we forget to truly be with each other. When you eliminate that social media aspect or at least keep it in moderation, it becomes that much easier.

Jealousy is a waste of time. I trust my boyfriend with every fiber of my being, and I know the feeling is mutual. I don’t need to cyber-stalk him every day to have some peace of mind. It’s a beautiful thing. Without all the drama of social media, those stresses are practically non-existent. It’s the best feeling in the world to know that our relationship isn’t virtual. We have so many fewer things to stress about and we can just focus on each other.

I’m not saying social media “ruins” relationships, but I am saying that they can make them difficult at times. We get jealous, we’re human. But social media practically forces us to put our relationship on display and offers a world of potential drama and stress-inducing factors that your relationship could definitely live without. In fact, it would probably thrive.

So think about that next time you’re tempted to stalk his followers or creep on his Snapchat best friends. He may not be the cause of your anxiety, maybe it’s the means of the social network you revolve your relationship around. And remember, at the end of the day, you’re dating each other. Not your computer screens.

This article originally appeared on Unwritten.

‘The Guy Who’s Rude To Waiters’ And 6 Other Types Of Guys To Avoid Like The Plague

Rude To Waiters? Not Dating Material!

Dating is always going to be a bit of a crapshoot. You never know which person is going to ultimately sweep you off your feet—and you’ll probably be immensely surprised when it happens.

However, there are a few good general rules of thumb to follow if you want to find your best chance at a healthy, happy relationship. With that in mind, here are some basic types of guys to avoid if you want to steer clear of tepid, unfulfilling relationships:

 

1. The guy who doesn’t like it if you’re funnier/smarter/more successful than he is.

Bottom line: a partner should be proud of your successes and accomplishments, and should encourage you to shine at all times. Only guys who are insecure in their masculinity are threatened by a woman who is their intellectual equal — and that’s a pretty outdated way to go about relationships.

If he tends to bristle when you crack a successful joke in front of his friends, or when you beat him at Trivial Pursuit, then maybe it’s time to turn around and walk away.

Choose Me Every Day Or Let Me Go

I’m not an option, I’m a priority, so you should choose me every day.  I should be your first choice.  My heart is too full of love to not get the same love back that I give out. So if you aren’t ready for that, I need you to let me go now. If you can’t choose to love me when I can’t love myself, when I feel like I’m stuck and I don’t know what my next step in life is and when I’m being absolutely difficult, then you don’t get to keep me.

If all you want are the smiles and good times then boy do you have a reality check coming your way.

A real relationship isn’t the one we see in movies or on TV that is always perfect and never hard. It’s not a straight line, there are so many ups and downs, twists, and turns that can seem unexpected.

The true testament to your love for one another is the ability to stay.

The ability to choose the person you love no matter what comes around the bend. But if you aren’t ready for that then let me find someone who is.

I want someone who is willing to accept me for who I am every day

And if you’re up for this crazy adventure I promise to always be by your side. Truthfully, relationships only work when we’re both on the same page. It’s unfair to be the one who chooses you every day, to be the one who puts you first and to turn around and be put second or third.

I can’t promise every day is going to be easy but I can promise that it will be worthy.

I can definitely be a lot to handle at times. I’m not perfect. I’m going to drive you so many shades of crazy at times, I’m going to be extra loving somedays, and others I going to be distant. I won’t be the perfect girl every day.

I can’t promise you that every day you’re going to like me. There will be days we don’t want to see each other, we’re just hearing the other person’s voice is going to get under our skins.

There will be days that picking me will take a lot of deep breaths and you’ll feel like you’re running a marathon.

But I need you to choose me on the days that are sunny and lovey but you also have to choose me on the dark and dreary days. If you can’t do that then I’m not the girl for you.

I can promise that if you do this, my choice is fairly simple. I choose to love you daily.

Even when you’re driving me crazy with all your sports talk or when you’re paying more attention to the guys. Even when you are struggling to figure out what you want to do and when we can’t seem to agree on anything.

If you can promise to always let me be your first choice despite what is thrown at us I promise to never let the hard stuff overshadow the good stuff.

I promise to put you first. It’s as easy as that.

10 Ways Spending Too Much Time Together Will F**k Up Your Relationship

Being in a relationship means you’ve found someone you want to spend all your time with. You miss them like crazy when they aren’t around and you’d text them all day long if you could. Sounds like exactly what we’re all looking for, right? Maybe in theory that sounds great, but in reality, spending too much time with someone can actually cause a lot of problems. Ideally, you should find someone who you genuinely want to spend tons of time with, but not actually spend all that time with them. Here’s how overdoing it can ruin an otherwise healthy relationship.

1. They become your whole world.

If you do literally everything with your significant other, you probably don’t have many experiences or memories that don’t include them. Not that it’s a bad thing to experience life with the person you love–of course it isn’t. But at the same time, it’s okay to do things without them too. There are plenty of people in the world, so why limit yourself to having a close relationship with only one? Basically, your Instagram deserves more than just couple selfies.

2. You start neglecting your friends.

It’s only natural to make your boyfriend your top priority, but that doesn’t mean you should be letting your friendships fizzle out for him. Your friendships are going to change as you get older because everyone is busy with their careers and following their own path. But no one is too busy to catch up over drinks once a month — I don’t care what they say. You don’t have to be attached at the hip to stay friends, you just have to adjust. Don’t let your relationship get in the way of that — you might regret it.

3. You get too comfortable.

When you spend all your time together, you start taking each other’s presence for granted. It’s definitely not a bad thing to be comfortable with the person you’re dating, but being too comfortable can mean you aren’t trying anymore. You just assume everything is fine and you’re together no matter what. But that’s not how healthy relationships work — you always have to be putting the effort in to make things better than fine.

4. You run out of things to talk about.

If you go to all the same restaurants, see every movie together and spend all your down time together, what are you going to talk about? Of course, there are always current events and your plans for the future, but sometimes it’s nice to spend some time apart just to get that feeling of excitement to fill them in on something funny that happened.

5. You never have a chance to miss each other.

Missing someone is actually a pretty good sign that you love them. Not to mention, the reunion after spending some time apart is always a great feeling. Spending every second together means you no longer know what it’s like when they aren’t around and that will make any separation that comes up a lot harder to deal with.

6. You start wanting a change.

Every relationship gets to the point where nothing is really new anymore, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s only bad if you get there and you aren’t comfortable — you’re just bored. That’s why you shouldn’t rush it. Take your time getting to know each other and easing into each other’s lives. That way you won’t suddenly realize you’re in too deep to easily make a change.

7. You forget who you are without each other.

Even if you’re the closest couple on the face of the earth, you’re both still individuals and it’s important to remember that. It’s amazing to have someone who is like your other half that you can always count on. At the same time, if you no longer have an identity outside of your relationship, you could end up resenting each other, which we all know is never a good thing.

8. It’s harder to see the problems in your relationship.

It’s pretty much impossible to be objective about your own relationship. That’s why you need other people in your life who care about you to talk to about issues you might be having. If you never put any effort into maintaining those relationships, you might find you have no one to listen when you need them.

9. You become one half of a whole.

It might sound cliche, but it’s important to feel complete on your own before you can be in a healthy relationship. There will always be times where you have to lean on each other, and you probably make each other’s lives better just because you’re together, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t survive on your own if you had to. Never think you can’t live without someone, because you can.

10. You have a hard time when you are apart.

If you spend all your free time together, how will you feel if he goes away for a weekend without you? You might think that will never happen, but it will. You can’t exactly tag along on bachelor party trips to Vegas or work-related trips, can you? If you have your own social life, you might actually look forward to having a weekend away from him once in awhile.

This article was originally written by Courtney, a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. She’s on Twitter @courtooo!

I Can Feel It in My Bones, That’s How I Know It’ll Always Be You

You. It’s such a complex and meaningful word. And to each individual person it can mean multitudes of things. It varies from person to person and experience to experience.

But when I think of the word you, I am overwhelmed with so much love.

Not long ago I was thoroughly convinced that love was an absolute joke and I had wasted all of my time. I was certain that happiness and contentment were so far out of my reach. And so I settled for the mundane. And then you became a part of my vocabulary.

 

At first, it was so subtle. I had no idea that you were going to change everything. I wasn’t looking for you at all, but you found me anyway.

The coincidences were too great, and so I began to believe that this was somehow fated to be.

As I poured out my soul to you, I realized it was the first time I hadn’t been scared of the truth. Looking into your eyes, I was able to own up to every mistake and stupid decision I made.

But after finding you, I’m not so sure they were mistakes. Every decision I made, no matter how big or small it seemed, lead me to this exact place. And I wholeheartedly believe that I was supposed to find you.

I had spent so many years chasing things that were not meant for me, and only now can I understand why every single one of them fell apart.

My heart is damaged, and a small part of me will always be broken. But you know that, and you choose me anyway.

You look at me as if I am a constellation, and you’ve never seen stars. And though it terrifies me, it also makes me feel whole again.

You value me, even when I don’t value myself. You tell me the honest truth, even when I don’t want to hear it. And you are constant, in an ever changing world.

You are so much more than what I could have dreamed up. I have struggled so long with finding somewhere to call home and finding somewhere that I belong. I realize now that it’s not a place. It’s you.

This unspoken peace crashes over me every time I look at you, and I know that no matter where I am, I will be coming home to you for the rest of my life.

You are the greatest blessing I have ever received, and I’ve never been so grateful for anything in my whole life.

 

To The Boy I Found When I Wasn’t Even Looking

There I was, telling myself I was ready to be on my own for a while. I was tired of being hurt and putting all of my effort into relationships just to get nothing in return. I was ready to be single, to focus on myself and stand alone for the first time in a long time. Then you happened. 

All it took was one message. A simple hello and a few late night conversations and I was hooked. I could tell you were different from the start. You were nothing like the guys I usually fell for. I was not exactly sure what it was about you that had me so intrigued. All I knew is once you said hello, I never wanted to hear you say good-bye. It was strange because I went back in forth in my mind with whether or not I should message you back. This was not because I was afraid to let you in or that I feared being hurt. It was the exact opposite actually. I was afraid I would hurt you or that I did not deserve the happiness I could tell you would bring me. However, looking back now, I am so glad I sent that message and let you in. 

I remember our first date. I sat there waiting for you to pick me up questioning whether it even was a date. You never referred to it as one, in fact, you never even hinted at whether or not you liked me or had any interest in me other than as friends. That is what intrigued me the most. You were shy but at the same time, you were open and let me in. You never once hid who you truly were with me; you were your complete self from the start. You wanted to know about me, about my past, my family, my dreams, my goals in life, everything. No one had ever shown that much interest in me before. We spent most of that night talking and getting to know one another and it just felt so easy to talk to you. I never was one to open up easily, but with you, it was easy. We went to a movie that night, and I remember sitting next to you casually moving my arm closer to yours hoping you would grab my hand or give me some sort of hint at what you were thinking, considering I was still pretty confused on the whole, is this a date question. You must not have caught on to my subtle hints though, cause you dropped me off the same way you picked me up, confused.

I went into my house and analyzed that entire night trying to see if you dropped any hints that you liked me, but if you did, I could not find them. All I knew for sure was that you were different, but a good different. A different that I liked a lot and wanted to hold onto and have in my life. It was not until the next day that you casually brought up that it was our first date in a conversation that I knew what that night was. Our conversations became more frequent and more in depth until I found myself hoping it was you every time my phone lit up. I was hooked on your gorgeous blue eyes and your smile that invited me in. I wanted to know more about you, I wanted to know everything.

As the weeks went by it was clear as day that we both wanted this. I found myself falling for you a little more every day. I liked everything about you. The way you sang in the car (even though you are totally tone deaf) and got excited when you found songs we both liked. The way you would get shocked when I said I had not seen just about every movie ever made, and you insisted that we had to watch them all. The way you told your friends and family about me, and how you just seemed so excited to let everyone know about me. The way you remembered small details about me like my birthday, my love for hockey, my hobbies and the foods I actually eat (because yes, I am probably the world’s pickiest eater so remembering that can be a hard task to do). You found ways to make me smile even when I was having a bad day. I felt safe in your arms from the moment you held me tighter when I informed you about my fear of storms. Something just felt right when I was with you. Nothing has ever felt so right or easy like this before. 

You make me truly happy. I will forever find myself questioning how I got so lucky or what I did to deserve meeting someone as great as you. Someone who makes me feel beautiful and wanted every day. Someone who is handsome and sexy even when using the most embarrassing Snapchat filters. Someone who is funny and can make me laugh at any time. Someone who is sweet and caring. Someone who knows what it is like to be damaged and to have been hurt in the past just like myself, but does not let that stop them from finding happiness. I know they say that no one is perfect, but I honestly feel that you are. Or at least you are perfect for me

The future is so unclear and you never know what it may hold. However, standing here today, I hope it holds you. I hope you are the one standing next to me on the good days when I need someone to celebrate with. Like when I graduate from college, or I am offered my first job, or I place in the top ten at a tournament, or I move into my first apartment. Nevertheless, I also hope it is you standing next to me when things get hard and I need a shoulder to cry on. Like when I don’t get the job I thought I nailed the interview for, or things at home aren’t the best, or when I am sad that it is time to let go of my collegiate athlete days, or on the days where my health problems get the best of me. No matter what the future holds, I hope it holds you. I hope you are the one standing next to me through it all. Even though you have not been in my life for very long and the future scares the hell out of me I am not afraid to admit that I hope it is you

Looking back now, replying to your message was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am glad I put my fear aside and allowed myself the chance to meet someone as wonderful as you. You are the guy that most girls dream of finding and somehow I was lucky enough to stumble upon you. You treat me in a way I thought I would never be worthy of and I will forever be grateful for that. I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for us. No matter what it may be, I will never regret sending that message and having you walk into my life when you did. I can only hope for many years and happiness to come with you by my side.

My Mind Knows I Should Leave but My Heart Won’t Give Him Up

I’m finally at the point where I can confidently fake a pleasant, positive response when people ask how I’m doing. Some see the sadness hidden in my eyes and give me a knowing look, but most just move on.

Those people don’t know the pain you caused me. The ones that do despise you. They see how you’ve shattered me and recognize that I’ll never be the girl I was before I let you into my heart.

They held me as my body quivered when I had no tears left and heard my weakened whispers admitting how alone and defeated I was. They saw my body shrink as I struggled to move past everything.

They don’t understand why I still choose to let you in my life. Sometimes even I don’t know why I let you stay after you broke me the way you did.

It’s curious how a problem can be its own solution. On my roughest days, you’re still the only one who can calm me down and talk some sense into my stubborn head. 

I know you care about me. You’ve taken responsibility for your actions and I know that means a lot, but part of me will never understand how you treated me so horribly.

On the days where I find the tears streaming down my face, I have no problem angrily telling you how shitty of a person you are. While I do feel that way about you, I also still care for you. I still love you.

It’s been a long time since we sat in the same room and talked but late night text conversations still happen. 

You say it’s best that we keep our distance while things are fresh because you’re scared being close will bring too many feelings back for me.

Part of me knows that you’re just as scared that you’ll find yourself overwhelmed.

I know I’ll never be able to fully detach if I let you stick around in my life and heart, but maybe I don’t really want to quit what we’ve started.

Maybe this is just our pause, not a full stop.

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