Essential Online Dating Safety Tips for Women

More and more people are choosing to look for their partners online instead of in person, and for good reason! Meeting people IRL can be time-consuming, tricky, and uncomfortable. Bars and clubs are crowded, workplace romances are not encouraged, and going out there on your own can be dangerous, especially for a woman. With online dating, you can meet and connect with people from the comfort of your own home and on your own time. The beauty of online dating is that the control is finally in your hands, and it’s much easier to find someone you click with!

However, not everything is always sunny-side-up when it comes to online dating. While it can be fun and exciting, the internet can be a scary place. If you’re not careful, it can be pretty easy to get taken advantage of, scammed, or lied to. To make sure you stay safe while you find your happily ever after, there are a couple of things you need to know first. Here’s a list of tips and tricks on everything from dating sites to pre-date etiquette! Learn how to put your best foot forward and stay safe, while you dip your toes into online dating!

Find the right site

A common mistake that many people make is choosing to use the wrong dating sites. Depending on what kind of experience you’re looking for, there’s bound to be a site out there that will cater to you. If you’re looking for casual anonymity, go for dating sites that are secure and don’t require any personal information. If you want a more modern, personable experience go for apps like Tinder, Bumble, or OkCupid. If you have a preference there are sites that cater to specific religious or sexual orientations!

By checking out recommendations, you can better understand which platforms are likely to meet your needs and preferences. Additionally, you can read reviews and compare features to determine which dating app or website fits you best. Many resources like OnlineForLove list the best dating sites for young people with details about the average users, pros, and cons. Reading reviews will increase your chances of finding a compatible partner and enjoying a pleasant dating experience.

 

Do a little digging

Although excessive cyber-stalking is frowned upon, a little online digging never hurt anyone! If you’re found someone you want to meet IRL, it’s important to do a little background check on them before the date. Look them up on social media, or even other dating sites to get a closer look. This is a great way to spot any red flags, check to see if they’re a catfish, or simply make sure that you like what you see!

Hold the personal info

Whether you’ve been talking to the person for 2 weeks or 2 years, your personal information is yours to give away when you feel comfortable. When you’re creating your dating profile or talking to someone, don’t feel pressured into giving away anything too personal. Your phone number, where you live and work, and what gym you go to are all things that can harm you if told to the wrong person. To keep things safe, be cautious with who you share your private info with.

Call or video chat before you meet

Before you go to meet someone face to face, it’s important to do it through a screen first. Video chatting or a good old-fashioned phone call is a good call for a few reasons. This is a great way to make sure that you’re not being catfished and that they really are who they say they are. It’s also a good way to check your chemistry together before you meet and to see if you like the sound of their voice or laugh. After the pandemic, there truly shouldn’t be any excuses as to why you can’t video call or phone call someone.

Meet in a public place

While the thought of meeting with your online crush on a secluded beach does seem romantic, it’s not very safe. The first rule of internet dating is to meet in a public setting. For the first couple of dates, opt for a restaurant, a coffee shop, or a local park. Any place that has a good crowd is a great location should you feel uncomfortable or need to make a quick escape. Public places also make it easy for a trusted family member or friend to be present to help you out should you get into anything you don’t want to.

Skip the carpool

Once you’ve planned a date with someone from the internet, it’s important to get there on your own. Take the bus, uber, get a friend to drive you, or drive there yourself. As a woman, it can be very dangerous to accept a carpool invite from your date. What if you don’t like the person, or the date goes horribly wrong? To avoid any awkward rides home, and to stay safe, make sure you’ve got your own transport sorted. You don’t need to rely on anyone to get back home, especially not someone from the internet!

Know when it’s time to go

The last tip on this list for online dating is to know when it’s time to leave. As a woman, it’s easy to think that you need to put up with uncomfortable situations while you’re on a date. You need to break this cycle and learn how to respect yourself and your time. If the date isn’t going well, if things are too awkward, or you’re getting some creepy vibes, remember you can leave whenever you want. You don’t owe anyone anything, no matter how long you’ve been talking, or how much they paid for dinner.

So there you have it! Now you’re ready to experience the world of online dating in a safe and fun way! A good online dating experience starts with the right dating site. Look for sites that offer exactly what you want, and get to chatting! Make sure to keep your profile fun, and to leave out any personal information until you’re sure you can trust the person you’re talking to. When you find someone you like, don’t be afraid to do a little digging to be on the safe side. Make sure to schedule a phone call or a video call before you meet to avoid getting catfished!

When planning your eventual date, be sure to do it somewhere public and to plan an escape route should things turn sour. Maybe have a friend or a family member on hand to help bail you out of any awkward or uncomfortable situations. Be a strong and independent woman and skip the carpool to your date. Lastly, remember to value your time and know when it’s time to leave. Have some fun with it and remember to stay safe and cautious when meeting your next tinder date!

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Wearing Your Boyfriend’s Clothes Boosts Mental Health, So Stealing His Hoodie Is Officially Self-Care

Boyfriend Jean… literally,

If you’re one of those girls who love the comfort of wearing your boyfriend’s oversized clothes, then you should know that there’s more to it than looking hella cute while enjoying the way your guy smells. A new study suggests that wearing your boyfriend’s clothes such as an oversized button-down shirt or college hoodie can be beneficial to your sanity, especially when your guy’s far away. Yes, turns out, your guy’s not just good for your heart but also your mental health, so stealing his hoodie is officially self-care.

The University of British Colombia conducted a study using 96 participating couples. The data was gathered as followed: Men were asked to wear new t-shirts for a period of 24 hours, under a set of guidelines that would prevent them from altering their scent. The t-shirts were then collected and frozen to preserve their scent and then given randomly to the women to smell. Not all women were able to smell their partner’s shirt which helped control biases.

Ready for the results…drum roll!

 

1. Your guy’s scent could make you zen.

Results gathered by the group of women who were given their boyfriend’s clothes to smell showed that having close access to your partner’s scent as in “wearing their clothes’ lowers the amount of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain. In short, these women were less stressed.

“Our findings suggest that a partner’s scent alone, even without their physical presence, can be a powerful tool to help reduce stress.”  – UBC Department of Psychology

 

2. You can miss your guy and soothe your heart at the same time.

“Many people wear their partner’s shirt or sleep on their partner’s side of the bed when their partner is away, but may not realize why they engage in these behaviors,” said UBC department of psychology grad student and the study’s lead author, Marlise Hofer.

Well, now we know and we’re loving it!

According to the results in this study, if our loved one is not around, we can assume that the next best thing would be to cozy up in one of your boyfriend’s clothes until you get the real thing. Because, although it might not be the real thing, but it can definitely give you the comfort that you need until they’re back.

On the other hand, there are other interesting findings in the study…

 

3. Another guy’s scent could have the opposite of a stress-free effect.

Not that you’re looking to wear some other guy’s shirt but in case you’re wondering. Results gathered by the group of women who didn’t get to smell their partner’s shirts indicated an elevation in the stress hormone cortisol in their brain. Researchers believe that ‘fear of the unknown played a big role in making these group of women more stressed.

“From a young age, humans fear strangers, especially strange males, so it is possible that a strange male scent triggers the ‘fight or flight response that leads to elevated cortisol. This could happen without us being fully aware of it”

 

4. Girls have a new way to tell their guys how much they want them by their side.

Sounds corny but hey, you love your guy and now science’s on your side. Next time he rolls his eyes when he catches you grabbing his bottom-down shirt to wear around the house, let him know that his scent puts you in a good mood and also makes you less prone to give him shit about him going away for a few days.

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Date Ideas for 30-Somethings

Our personality, our interests, our goals, and our approach to life – all these things change as we get older. We may not really notice that, but they definitely do. This maturity and perspective we gain with years also affect the way we view relationships and dating.

Dating around just for experience – like you did in your 20s – may not seem as appealing these days. Your preferences may have changed, and you may have realized you want something lasting now that you’re in your 30s. Because of that, you need to plan your dates accordingly, and figure out which dating activities you enjoy the most. Below, a list of four date ideas for 30-somethings to help you plan your next date.

Plan an outdoor picnic

If your idea of a perfect date involves nature and long conversations that are free of distractions, then outdoor picnics probably sound like a perfect date idea. Picnics are ideal if you’re looking to connect with your date and get to know them well. They provide the perfect setting for meeting someone on a deeper level since you’ll be talking most of the time.

Spring and summer are ideal for picnics, and you can also go stargazing afterwards. It’s the perfect way to show your romantic side! Central Park happens to be one of the top picnic spots in the U.S., along with Walden Pond, Mount Bonnell, Bedell Cellars, Folly Beach, and Golden Gate Park. Wherever you decide to pack a picnic, make sure to bring a bottle of wine and some fun games, too.

Swap a dinner date for a daytime rendezvous

Romantic dinner dates and restaurants such as Frank Restaurant and Pera Soho in New York may have been your go-tos in your 20s. But as you enter your 30s, you realize that staying up late is a luxury you can no longer afford. Not only do you have to sleep in the next day and wave goodbye to your weekend. Chances are, you’ll also find yourself googling the best cures for hangovers the day after your dinner date.

To switch things up a bit, schedule your rendezvous at daytime. For some couples, that will mean heading for a weekend brunch in Coconut Grove Miami where the two of them can shake off the hubbub of everyday life. For others, this will mean enjoying an alfresco lunch at the Peacock Park while admiring bay views and mature trees, visiting a local museum or a zoo, or having an ice cream together. As long as you can enjoy it during the day, anything goes!

Have a romantic date night in

If you’re a homebody and have been dating your partner for a while, why not stay in? If quarantine has taught us anything, it’s that cooking at home can be fun and that sometimes the simplest things can bring us so much joy and happiness.

Bring a little Spain to your date night with sangria and tapas. Live “la dolce vita” like the Italians do by enjoying the homemade pizza you two made. Or, order some sushi for delivery for a taste of Japan, and pair it with chilled or warm sake. End the night with an episode of your favorite TV show or a movie you both love.

Take a virtual cocktail-making class together

While at-home date nights usually involve either making or ordering food in, one way to take things up a notch and try something different is to take a virtual cocktail-making class together. Not only is this a great way to boost your mixology skills, but it’s also so much fun.

You can try crafting your favorite cocktails and learn how to garnish them so they look Insta-worthy. It’s also a great way to pick up a skill or two that you can flex at your next cocktail party. The best part? You two can master the art of shaking and stirring all the while dressed in your yoga pants and PJs. You’ll have a great time, and you’ll also be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor later on. Vodka Martini, Manhattan, Old Fashioned, White Russian, or New York Sour? We’ll leave that up to you to decide.

Wrapping up

A lot of things change once you’re in your 30s. Your dating game is no exception to the rule. Rely on these date ideas as inspo when planning your next romantic rendezvous – just make sure it’s something the two of you equally enjoy so that both sides can have fun.

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About The Author

Taylor Parker is an American based writer and blogger. She is very passionate about family, fashion, health, and lifestyle. Taylor writes mostly lifestyle articles, but also you’ll find her in home improvement and other niches.  You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter

To the One I Let Get Away

It’s funny, being in a place where you realize that you let something good slip through your fingers, and the only person those fingers can point at is yourself. It’s almost easier going through a breakup than it is wondering what could have been. I know I’m not alone, and I know that there’s nothing I can do to change the situation now.

Because why shouldn’t you move on? I’m the one who said no.

In the moment, I was so sure my choice was right. But, looking back, I was letting my fear get in the way of something potentially great. I wish I could say that’s not how it’s always been… How this time was just a lapse of judgment. But, the truth is, fear has always been a part of me, and I didn’t realize how much joy and happiness it took from me until I walked away.

Just know: it’s not you, it’s me. Really.

You were nothing but kind, smart, funny, encouraging; made me feel like I could do anything I set my mind to. You celebrated my wins and encouraged me in my losses. You were there on the other side of the phone if and when I needed it. You challenged me and made me realize that my dreams aren’t as farfetched as I thought they were.

And here I am, again, letting that fear and my pride call the shots again.

This isn’t a pity letter. This isn’t my failed attempt at proving to be something I so badly wish I was. This is me, laying the cards on the table, if only for just myself. The fact is, I don’t need to prove anything to anyone about how I was wrong, how I regret my decision. Just writing this, in itself, is progress.

The truth is, I wish I could rewind the clock.

I wish I could go back to that day, that moment… The last time I fell back into that fear. Because since then, I’ve actually made brave changes in my life and the empowerment has been incredible. But knowing that I let that one moment dictate potentially the rest of my life gives me chills.

There’s a twisted art to realizing what could have been.

The embarrassment, the fear, the nagging on the heart all makes sense and, quite frankly, is to be expected with someone like me. The person who preaches about being open and honest and wearing your heart on your sleeve actually fears an open heart and bare communication. The ultimate contradiction.

So, to you who I pushed aside only to realize that I pushed aside something potentially great, this is not an excuse, but an explanation. Chances are supposed to be taken and feelings are supposed to be put on the line. That’s how life is supposed to go and what I’ll be aiming for from now on.

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About The Author

Emmie Pombo is a latte and tattoo-loving Tennessean who specializes in mental health and beauty writing. She holds a degree in Journalism and a certification in Makeup Artistry and Airbrushing. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

Anime and Dating Culture in Japan

Dating can be difficult, but it’s actually fun once you find someone with the same interests as you do.

 

Take anime, for example. While many adults think liking anime is weird or childish, those who like it understand how you feel.

 

To celebrate love, here are some fun facts about dating in Japan which inspired romantic anime. You’ll also read about love lessons and romantic tips, and find out what to watch on a date night.

Japanese dating culture

The dating cultures between Japan and the West are very different from each other. So much so that some Westerners and Japanese have had embarrassing hiccups when trying to date in other countries.

 

Unlike Western countries where online dating has been popular for a long time, Japan was initially resistant because of the social stigma surrounding the activity. Japanese women in particular originally thought that these websites are just for hookups, which is a major taboo in the country.

 

But because of the declining birth rate and increasing numbers of adults either marrying later in life or not getting married at all, the Japanese government has taken action. Their involvement has reduced people’s reluctance towards online dating, for as long as it will help them get into a serious relationship that leads to marriage.

 

Just like in the West, Japanese singles who are looking for love have different personalities. And those who have a geeky side have a more difficult time finding a date. Luckily, there are websites that cater to the anime dating and other interests.Anime is a special world, and what makes it even more special is when you can share it with someone who feels just as passionate about it as you do.

What lessons can we learn from anime that can be applied in real life?

Life is hard, especially if you’re single and want to find the one. If you’re feeling down right now, here are some lessons that were taken from popular anime to inspire you:

Never give up on love.

NarutoSword Art Online, and Shakugan no Shana taught us that even when it’s difficult, being with the one you love in the end is worth all the heartbreaks.
If you truly love someone, be ready to let them go.
But sometimes, breaking free from the one you love is more important than sticking together. In Zero no Tsukaima, Louise teleported Saito back to Japan to keep him safe from the war, even though they might not see each other again.

Follow your heart.

While logic and reasoning are important in making decisions, there are times when only the heart can guide you towards the correct path. Just like in Shakugan no Shana, when Shana had to choose between her duty as a Flame Haze and her love for Yuji. She ended up choosing Yuji and did not regret it.

Romantic tips from anime

While anime adds some fantastical themes to their romance that can be too good to be true, it still gives a good picture of what dating is like. Here are some tips on how you can become romantic as learned from popular anime characters:

 

● Show your lover you appreciate them by giving them their favorite snacks. In Kono Oto Tomare, Satowaoverheard Chika praise her new playing style. Overcome with emotions, she then rushed to the store and bought every strawberry snack (Chika’s favorite) available so she can give them to him.
● Be with them on special occasions. In Fruits Basket, Saki tells Yuki and Kyo that it will be Tohru’s first New Year’s without her mom, who recently passed away. So the boys rushed back home to accompany her.
● The best way to get what you want is to ask for it. In Toradora, when Taiga and Ryuji finally kiss for the first time, Taiga just kept saying, “Another.” Swoon!

What anime is worth watching on a date night?

Date night is all about creating sparks, so what better way to achieve that than watching romantic anime, like:

 

● Revolutionary Girl: Utena: The Adolescence of Utena(1999). Boys would enjoy this too since it has fight scenes.
● The Anthem of the Heart (2015). A slice-of-life movie with some romance, this movie will break your heart. So prepare some tissues!
● Macross: Do You Remember Love? (1984). Based on the Macross TV series, it features transforming mecha, ‘80s pop music, and a love triangle.

Your love story starts now

If you enjoy watching your favorite anime characters fall in love, what more when you experience it firsthand? After all, wouldn’t it be amazing to find your ride or die, your person, the Inuyasha to your Kagome?

 

Imagine being confessed to by your ideal person. Then you go on your first date, and another, and another. As an added bonus: you watch anime together when you don’t feel like going out. That love story can be yours.

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Fun Ideas for Your First Post-COVID Date

 

You’re fully vaccinated, and you’re ready to head out on your first post-COVID date. After a year or more of staring at the same four walls, punctuated by only differing Zoom backgrounds, you’re more than ready to make it an occasion to remember.

What should you and your special someone do? After the quarantine, it’s challenging to choose. If you find yourself stumped, try one of these 11 fun ideas for your first post-COVID date.

 

Take Them Out to the Ballgame

Is your partner — or prospective one — a sports fanatic? If so, they had a long, lonely time in 2020. Many venues shut down, and teams played for cardboard cutouts. However, this summer, many venues return to full seating capacity, so take advantage.

 

If you find yourself in the Windy City, cheer on the Cubs or the Whitesox. You can’t beat the nostalgia of catching a game at Wrigley. However, if you or your date have children along, Guaranteed Rate field features the Xfinity KidZone to keep the littles entertained while you enjoy adult company.

 

Find Your Italian Restaurant

The restaurant industry took some of the harshest hits during the lockdown. Why not do your part to support local businesses by enjoying a bottle of red or white at a new favorite?

If linguine isn’t your deal, pick your favorite cuisine style. Call ahead for reservations, as demand is sure to soar. Ask your date about any food allergies so that you can select an appropriate spot.

 

Have a Picnic in the Park

You might find your favorite spot, too teeming with folks all as anxious to be out and about as you are. If you want to flee the madding crowds, why not have a picnic in the park?

Take a picnic basket — but leave your cellphone at home. Consider it a Zoom-free chance to disconnect and reconnect in real life.

 

Recreate Paparazzi Pics 

Is your Instagram account looking a little bare? It’s time to fill it with all your adventures.

When you and your date get all dolled up to paint the town red, take dozens of photos. Invest in a selfie stick if you don’t already have one. Strike a pose in front of some of the most famous spots in your hometown and resurrect your social media feeds together.

 

Learn to Skateboard or Longboard

Learning a new skill is a fabulous way to bring you and that special someone closer. Choose something that makes you feel like a kid again, like skateboarding or long boarding. Take a lesson together, then head out to the nearest park to show off your new moves for the youngsters.

 

Try a Paddle board Yoga Class

If you thought balancing in tree pose was challenging on land, wait until you throw water into the equation. Yoga on a paddle board will work your core like no other workout, but you won’t even feel the burn. You’ll be too busy having fun and getting wet with this tough-as-nails, yet no-sweat activity.

Go Geocaching 

Are you and your date urban explorers? Why not give geocaching a try? All you need is a device capable of reading GPS coordinates — your phone will do — and free club membership.

The game works by choosing a cache and programming the coordinates. Once you locate your booty, snap a photo to share your conquest on social media before leaving it for the next person.

 

Find an Open Mic Night

Famous performance artists like Taylor Swift kept going throughout the pandemic, but up-and-comers have had a rough go the past several months. Why not put some bread in their jar when you hit up an open mic night? If you or your date are brave and creative enough, you can even take the stage.

 

Discover Laser Tag 

Now that you’re safe to interact with strangers indoors again, why not rediscover the thrill of the hunt. You and your partner can head to an indoor laser tag venue and see who can blast the other the most. Many such facilities also offer climbing walls and bounce facilities, so come prepared with comfy clothes and socks.

Ride to the Danger Zone 

Theme parks also had a rough go of things in 2020, but those that previously closed are now reopening — why not go for a thrill ride or a dozen? Even if you don’t like loop coasters, you and your partner can get out your aggressions on the bumper cars. Feeling romantic? There’s nothing like a kiss atop the Ferris wheel.

Rediscover the Joy of Cinema

Finally, theaters also struggled to survive the pandemic. Why not treat your date to a buttery tub of popcorn and a matinee, now that you can? Alternatively, see if you can find a midnight screening of one of your favorite classics.

Create a First Post-COVID Date to Remember With These Tips 

You want to make your first post-COVID date memorable. Try one of the above 11 tips.

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About The Author

Oscar Collins is the managing editor at Modded. He writes about cars, fitness, the outdoors, and more. Follow @TModded on Twitter for more articles from the Modded team.

I Went on a Covidate: Here’s How it Went

And The book title is “Love in the Time of Cholera,” but it’s hard to not reimagine it for the 21st century.  Love in the Time of COVID, am I right? It was hard enough to find a special spark when we weren’t afraid to be around each other with our faces exposed.

I personally do miss kissing boys in cocktail bars while drinking old fashions, accompanied only by the flickering light of a nearby candle.

Those days are long gone and the only old fashions I’m drinking are solo and in bed with a battery-operated candle. Safety first.

I waitress at a restaurant in downtown Manhattan where every so often a man at my table will ask me for my number. Sometimes I’m flattered, sometimes appalled; it all usually depends on how they go about it, as well as their etiquette during dinner. I’ve dated a few guys I met while working in the past, but none of them really last. The flirtation on my side usually boils down to admittedly entertaining myself throughout the evening’s conundrum of 86s and asshole guests.

Any of these flirtations usually boil down to somewhere in between an unanswered text message and a maximum of a three-week relationship that could have definitely been capped at two weeks had I trusted my instincts.

In the time of COVID, the ante has been upped by mandatory face coverings for all employees. Listen, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the game of flirting with a mask on, using only my eyes to lure them in and get them to ask me out without ever having seen my face. It’s amazing. A few months ago I swore I had met Carrie Underwood’s husband’s twin. I simultaneously took an order at a table across the room while making eyes at him, which lead to him following me to the computer in order to get my number. Unfortunately, the head chef walked past as I was entering my digits in his phone and screamed, “Get it, Kaitlyn!” across the restaurant.

He texted me, and I answered in my Uber home, despite his initial text saying that I was a wonderful waitress (Tip #1: if you’re attempting to pick up your waitress, never compliment her waitressing skills. She doesn’t want to be a good waitress and she definitely doesn’t want to hear about how she’s a good waitress. Chances are she’s some type of artist that loathes her survival job, so get outta here with your waitressing compliments). He asked when I’d be available in the upcoming week to “grab a bite,” and I told him we’d have to wait until I got my schedule – when what I really meant was I need time to figure out a way to say,

“Um there’s a pandemic, and I actually like my lungs working at full capacity, so can we take a socially distanced walk instead?”

The next day I texted him to strike up casual conversation, and my “Happy Sunday! You a football fan?” text was left unanswered, so my problems were solved. This event is what led me to be even more impressed by my most recent approach.

I had a table of six guys that had been making jokes with me on and off all night. And I usually hate serving tables of men, because, well, men, but this was a fun, harmless group. I was standing in the far corner of the dining room as they began to make their exit. One of them started approaching me, and I felt an instant glitter of excitement.

“Hey, I know everything is complicated right now with COVID, so I’m just going to give you my number and you can decide what to do with it.”

I know that my shock showed in my response. “Oh! Thank you,” I said as I took the small, folded up paper from his hand while doing my best to show him I appreciated his approach. He nodded and walked off into the night.

I was absolutely touched that he even acknowledged that things are undoubtedly complicated right now. If dating in New York was difficult before, which it was, it’s now ten-fold. Hell, one hundred-fold. Ya can’t just go kissing strangers and drinking gin and tonics like ya used to. Like many other things this year, what used to be hard just got harder. I always felt like most dates were a waste of time, but now I’m risking my life for them, too? How bout just get me a petri dish for my eggs because I’m going to need several more years to figure this shit out. Count me out and Amazon Prime me a cat to start my collection with.

I admit he put me under a spell with his genuine approach, and I couldn’t help but shoot him a text (obviously after waiting the preliminary 24 hours just to make him sweat). I know, I know, I’m part of the problem… So I’ve heard.

Any who, we texted for a day or so before he made his advance: “Usually I’d engage in some more witty text banter, but I’m going to be more forward because I’m leaving the city for Thanksgiving. Any chance you’re free for a drink tomorrow or Tuesday?”

Ugh. Well, that was a fun day of socially distanced flirting but here’s where it ends, I told myself.  My response was honest but very blunt. “To be honest, I’m not really hanging out with people unless it’s outside and with a mask on,” I said, expecting to get some sort of attempt at persuasion back or just a total lack of interest. That’s why when he responded by being totally understanding and “down to play by my rules,” I couldn’t help but perk up.

With his work schedule and mine combined, along with the pressure of the upcoming holiday and constraints of the pandemic, we had an 11:00 a.m. coffee date in Washington Square Park in 26-degree weather. As fate would have it, it was the coldest day of the year so far. He still had not seen my face and I was attempting to wear lipstick under my mask, but I was becoming less confident as I walked to meet him and my snot ran into my KN95 from the blustery temps. Sexy.

We grabbed a coffee and walked to the park, carefully picking a bench in the sunlight to keep us a little warm. I knew as soon as I pulled my mask down to take a sip of my oat latte he was going to see my face for the first time, so I made a joke as I turned my head and wiped my snot on the back of my glove. We shared a bench but kept our masks on as we got to know each other.

It was honestly really refreshing to sit across from someone in the light of day and without the help of alcohol or the distraction of physical attraction. It was nice to know that this is as far as it would go for a while. There was no pressure to end the date with a kiss and certainly no shot at more than that.

We got approached by homeless men asking for money a few times, but only one offered a magic show. He was wearing a mask so we accepted. During his routine, he got a tiny bit too close to me and my date must’ve seen me lean back ever so slightly. He kindly asked the man to take back up a bit. It may seem like a small gesture but it went a hell of a long way in my book. I felt like someone other than myself was looking out for me, which is something that has barely happened this year.

In the past 10 grueling months I’ve lost some friends because of their irresponsible response to the virus. I’ve also grown closer and came to appreciate the friends that share my values.

The magician’s trick somehow revealed that I was 28 and he was 26 which was alarming to me. My general rule is to not look twice at any man under thirty. It is 2020, though, and I’ve had to break some old rules as well as come up with some new ones, so what the hell.

He also revealed that when he said he was going home for Thanksgiving (to Tampa) he would be staying there through the New Year, followed by a trip to the Grand Canyon for some hiking in early January. Our conversation continued for well over an hour before deciding to go for a stroll, which led to a pop-up shop, which led to picking up his lunch from Cava, and then dropping him off at his apartment on Houston.

He asked permission to hug me, which I surprised myself by allowing, and we said our goodbyes. “I don’t know how this works, but I had a really good time and I’d like to do it again?” “Same,” I responded while we both laughed at the uncertainty of it all.

On the hunt for new martini glasses, I slipped into Crate and Barrel. He had texted me before I even left the store and our witty text banter continued until the second week of December. And he must have sensed my uncertainty in what we were doing and ended things with me before I could do it with him. He sent me a full screen sized text message about his workload, the holidays, and the uncertainty of his return to New York anytime soon. And he said he’d text me when he gets back to the city, and I said the next cappuccino is on me.

I feel like I won’t hear from him again, and if I do, the cappuccino would have to be just a friendly cappuccino. I didn’t really feel a spark and felt like I couldn’t get past the age difference. That doesn’t negate how touched I was by his manners and respect to my boundaries. I really appreciated his genuine interest in getting to know me and make me feel safe. Funny enough, this was just four days over my average three-week relationship, so the end came right on schedule.

Regardless of the fact that our tryst didn’t end in either of us being swept off our feet, there is much to be learned from this experience.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries: If someone is truly interested in you they will be willing to act within the confines of your comfort zone. If they’re not willing, they’re not worth it. If you’re getting involved with someone romantically it is crucial that you can be open about what you’re comfortable with.

That means with COVID and literally everything else. Boundaries are healthy, but you have to be willing to own them and speak them into existence. It may mean you lose some people, but those that stay truly respect you.

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About The Author

Kaitlyn-Renee Urban is an actor and writer with a passion for highlighting feminism in the arts. She hosts an IGTV show (coming January 2021) called “What We Know Now” centered around supporting local, women-run businesses while picking their brains for advice they’d give their younger selves. She lives in New York City, but it’s easier to find her on Instagram.

Tinder Guy’s ‘Duck Story’ Is The Best Way To Get A Girl’s Number Hands Down

Navigating the murky waters of modern dating apps like Tinder is always a gamble. Swipe left, swipe right, get a match, and then the conversation begins. Unfortunately, a good portion of the Tinder population is less than clever when it comes to opening lines, but every now and then a creative suitor changes the game.

This guy, for example, managed to get a girl’s number off of the popular dating app in the most genius way and boys, take notes, please.

Anyone who’s ever been on Tinder knows the swiping game can be a hot mess. But every now and then you come across someone who makes all the BS worth it.

One Redditor recently shared a Tinder interaction she had with a guy who created an elaborate choose-your-own-adventure just to get her number.

And people were pretty impressed with the duck guy’s creativity.

Take notes, gentlemen.

H/T Bored Panda

10 Ways People With A Hard Shell (But Soft Center) Love Differently

People who have a hard shell don’t really let others onto their feelings. They seem cool and aloof on the outside, but inside, they’re just like anyone else, wanting to love and be loved.

1. They blush on the inside.

Though they might respond to your compliments with a quick “thank you??? and an averted gaze, it’s not because they don’t appreciate it – they’re hanging onto your each and every word. It’s just that they internalize it a bit more.

2. They prefer to show, not tell.

People often have this idea that people with a hard shell simply don’t have any feelings – but it’s the depth of their feelings that makes it so difficult for them to talk about it. If they get started, they might just end up crying. So just when you think they’re off on another planet when you try to have pillow talk with them, they’ll be the first to graze up behind you for a spooning sesh.

3. They’ll go out of their way to please you with thoughtful gestures.

Since they’re not so good at talking about their feelings, they’ll make sure to show you how they feel. Think sweet surprises, breakfast in bed. Or a text when they’re out with their friends – anything to let you know you haven’t left their mind. And aren’t going to leave anytime soon, either.

4. They appreciate their space.

And if you don’t smother them in the beginning, they’ll be drawn to you even more. Eventually, they’ll want to get rid of the space between the two of you altogether – but they need to take their time to make sure they fully trust you.

5. Though they’ve put up walls, they’re there for a reason.

People with a hard shell can often seem cool and indifferent – like they don’t need anybody. But it’s often an act they’re putting on to mask previous heartbreak.

6. They ain’t about that tacky PDA life.

The thing that really gets them is a simple, powerful act, like holding your gaze in a room full of people, or standing just a bit closer to you so that your arms slightly graze past each others. Something invisible to others, but visible to the two of you.

7. They’ll make you feel like you’re in on a secret when you’re out with them.

Their attention is reserved for a special few, but because of that, it’s that much more intense. When you’re walking around with them on a hectic street, you won’t even realize other people are there.

8. They know how to pick their battles.

They’ll let go of the small, unimportant things, without letting them build up. But if they bring up an issue, it means that they’re really hurting about it.

9. If they fight with you, they really care about you.

The bright side is that if they do bring something up, they must really, really care about the relationship. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have said anything in the first place. But if they’ve tried enough and they still feel like they’re not important to you, they’ll retreat as far back as possible – to the point where your existence pretty much becomes irrelevant.

10. They’re incredibly loyal.

At the end of the day, they’ll move mountains for you. They’ll be there for the little things, like celebrating a promotion or a raise. But they’ll also be the one to go with you to the doctor’s office or help you drive your first uHaul when you’re moving into a new apartment.

This Is What You Need to Know Before You Date The Brutally Honest Girl

When it comes to honesty, she’s brutal. So if you’re here to play games, whatever you do, don’t date the blunt girl. Avoid her at all costs.

She’s not the kind of girl who’s easy. She’s not going to agree with you on everything. You better believe she’s going to challenge almost every belief, not because she wants to be right all the time but because she’s curious about you and actually wants to get to know you. 

Because she’s fully committed to this relationship.

She never does anything half-assed, especially relationships. When she does something, she does it with her whole heart and dating you is no different. She takes this relationship seriously and expects you to do the same.

When it comes to dates, she’s always up to try something new and fresh. When it comes to lazy Sunday conversations, she’s always up to talk about things that matter to you and her because that’s what’s truly important.

And if you’re afraid to go all the way, then don’t date the blunt girl.

Because she’s not afraid to tell you when you’ve fucked up. And she expects the same because that kind of honesty equals respect. If you hate her attitude, you have to say that. If you want her to appreciate something about you, then let her know what it is.

Even better is when you listen to her call you out as well. If you’re being an asshole, she’ll tell you. If you’re giving her some ultimatum, she’ll let you know she doesn’t have time for that. These kinds of arguments will be hard to deal with it. But remember you’re both in this together and her tough love is because she knows in her heart you’re better than this.

So don’t date the blunt girl if you’re not willing to grow a thicker skin.

Because to love her, you have to accept all of her.

Yes, that includes flaws. The dangerous thing about the blunt girl is that she’s accepted her flaws and decided to live with them with no desire to change because she knows she’s not perfect and she’s okay with that.

You’ll learn to be okay with it too. You might see that one mole, that one wrinkle, those small little things that bother you and affect your relationship. If that’s the case, then leave her now. Don’t bother to erase her flaws and don’t worry when you do break up with her. You’re not breaking her heart.

Because she’ll be alright without you.

That’s harsh but that’s who the blunt girl is. She’s at a point in her life where she go about it alone because she’s content with herself.

So if you’re dating the blunt girl, be thankful because if she can love herself in such a way, she can love you the same way as well.

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