This is in no way based on the author.
The first meeting was electric, his confidence startled you and for once, the conversation was actually engaging. From experience, you know to tread with caution and listen for a while before passing further judgment.
However, you are just a human and you’ve been waiting to feel like this for a long time.
So, you let into the blissful sensation of being
so enchanted by another person. Letting go of your fears, you jump in, right there, present and vulnerable. He says all the things you want to hear:
“You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you.”
“All the other girls have been so boring compared to you.”
“I am not usually this honest.”
“Stop talking, you are making me want to marry you.”
I won’t continue here. I am sure you have your own colorful list.
The rest of the night is a blurry dance of skinny dipping, drinks, him feeding you chips in bed, and some of the
best sex you’ve had in a while. Every inch of you is excited to have experienced such magic. There is so much to explore. Last night, you were making plans for all the cool things you will do together.
“You are like me,” he said,
“and yet so different. We can teach each other so many things.”
Yes… many things.
He taught me this: stay the hell away.
How does the story continue?
Of course, the next morning. He doesn’t even wake up to have breakfast together, let alone walk you out the front door. I’m not even sure he managed a “have a good day.” It’s like Aladdin takes you on the magic carpet ride and the next morning is like… “Who are you again?”
“Last night you were singing my name, dammit!”
What I don’t understand is why I need to learn these lessons over and again.
I thought I had gotten good at telling these bad apples apart. Apparently, I had to go through the class again. The next day, I was told that I was “too intense” and that “we should be friends.” Of course, he won’t be your friend. And if you try and hang around, he will be the worst friend you’ve ever had.
My only pointer here is: check that you are falling in love with someone who already loves themself.
Because there is no amount of love and recognition you can pour into someone to make them see clearly. They know how to go through the motions very well; they can create the illusion of what love should look like. But as soon as they come close to feeling it, they run away.