To The Boyfriend Who Forgets I Exist Once Football Season Starts

Dear Boyfriend,

This madness has gone on for far too long.

It’s not that I don’t get it. I watched Friday Night Lights – I’m fully aware of how emotional football can get…if you’re only following one team.

It’s not like that for you. For you, it’s an obsession that rivals my incessant Facebook-checking. At least when I’m on Facebook I look at you every once in a while.

Come August, I start to see the talons of Football season creeping up your back, placing its bony hand on your shoulder. I’ve got him now it seems to whisper. Nothing you can do about it.

And it’s right, there really isn’t. It seems that between high school, college, pro, and (gasp) fantasy football, you’re busier than a mosquito at a nudist colony.

It’s not so much the fact that you’re a man in demand, it’s that even when you’re here, you’re gone. I could wave a hand in front of your face and you won’t notice. Poof. Finished! Out to lunch. It’s about The Game and The Game only, for the better part of the next five months.

Sometimes I think you’ve snapped out of it, that you’ve realized it’s JUST a game and I am, in fact, a woman sitting in your general vicinity. You gaze over with glazed eyes and say, “Babe, will you grab me a beer?”

It’s just the commercial break. Le Sigh.

Sometimes I attempt to get into it, in the hopes that one day the clouds will part and I’ll finally understand football enough to like it. I’ll then develop my own obsession to make you jealous. No matter how often you explain it, though – I get distracted by all of the hot men in tight pants running around and I forget what you taught me. Balls.

At least when we’re staying in I can busy myself with other things, but when we go to a bar, you totally space as well – so then it’s just like I’m alone at a bar. Suddenly I went from “having a lovely afternoon” to “ having a drinking problem”.

And then there are the mood swings. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, if, God forbid, one of your teams should lose.

The game’s finally over and you’re a mopey, irritable mess. You can’t even blame it on hormones.

You won’t shut up about it for at least an hour afterward, and it’s not even a real-life event. The worst part of it is, there’s nothing I can say other than, “Oh man. Maybe next time!”

I could make some sh*t up like Yeah, that ref was a total d*ck, and Henderson should go back to the minors or whatever, but I’d really only be amusing myself.

I put in long, hard hours waiting for you to return to the land of the living. Can’t you snap out of it so we can go out? Otherwise i may just take myself out on a date. I deserve a good time.

I think the best thing for me to do is to leave a wax replica of me next to you for a few months while I actually enjoy the fall season. Hit me up around Groundhog Day- at least there will be people to talk to at one of the Superbowl parties.

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4 Life Hacks to Surviving His Love for Sports

When He LOVES Sports

The day has been long and you’re excited to see him. You’re rushing to get home so that the two of you can grab a bite to eat or even just get cozy and throw on some Netflix. Sounds simple enough to make happen, right? Well, there’s only one thing getting in the way of you and some down time with your man, and that thing is sports.

Have no fear, as a sports hater turned somewhat appreciator, there are a few things you can do that will not only make life with sports more survivable, but will also in turn, allow you to win at the girlfriend game.

1. Look Up The Rules

Now by no means am I saying do a research report-you’ll put yourself to sleep (and possibly even give yourself a headache-that sh*t can get confusing). What I’m saying is that all it takes is a break from Facebook or Insta, and a new tab in Google to type in “Basic rules of NBA Basketball”.

There are no promises of intrigue, but you might be surprised at how much better you’ll understand the game next time he throws it on. Some girls really love sports. And odds are, he will either think you’re more knowledgable about the world of sports than he thought, or that you are at least putting in an effort to learn.

2. Make His Team, Your Team

There’s no way you are seasoned enough in sports to know all of the teams nevermind pick a favorite. You could go with your hometown or even where you currently live, but then what happens when someone wants you to back up your reason for fangirling?

The advantage of being his, is that you are his teammate and can therefore root for his favorite team. You trust his judgement so why not trust his team? Plus, there’s nothing more sexy to a guy than watching his girl sport his favorite team’s tee while lounging around at home on game night.

3. Use It As A Reason To Get Friends Together

Sitting home on football Sunday staring at the TV is anything but ideal. The weather is beautiful, the outside is calling your name, but nothing sounds more like paradise to him than stuffing his face with some apps and gluing himself to the tv.

Use this to your advantage and suggest inviting some friends over for the “big” game day. If his friends are invited, it’s only fair that yours are too.The beauty of this is that it now lets you spend the day with your boo while giving him the occasional kiss and catching up with the girls on their week.

Be creative-BBQ, meet everyone at a fun bar, or even host the shin-dig at your house. All in all, you win with a good time and the fact that he knows you threw a “thing” for his sports.

4. Negotiate.

Remember when you first started dating and he was down for anything all the time? Watching a chick flick, offering to give you a little foot rub after your long day, or maybe just surprising you with take-out from your favorite Chinese spot? Well, those opportunities may not come a dime a dozen anymore, but rest assured that we can fix that.

I’m not going to get into numbers and statistics, but just think, if you were to actually do the math and find the ratio of games you have sat through compared to times he has done the things he used to for you, it would not be pretty…or fair. In fact, it might take you a moment to gather yourself at the very thought of how unfair it has been.

We can change that girl, we can change that. Next time he clicks on the game, negotiate that you’ll watch it with him but it’d be nice if he would do something you like tomorrow, or even at half time. It may take some convincing, but believe me-he’ll be tempted if his girl is by his side watching the game.

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