Tag: dead

An Open Letter To My Angel In Heaven

Losing You

Where do I begin? I feel as though there are not enough words I can write to truly express all of the emotions that consume me on a regular basis knowing that you are gone. There are so many words I wish I could say to you, so many calls I wish I could make, so many moments I look at, wondering if you are somewhere off in a distant place watching me with pride.

 

The way in which you left this world was too abrupt. I wasn’t given the proper time to tell you everything I wanted to say. And I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you how much you truly mean to me, how much I need you in my life, how big of an impact you’ve had on me. I look back at our time spent together, knowing that I could have done more to be better—to do better, to be better to you and for you.

 

There are so many conversations I want to take back—how I wish I could rewind time and take the cruel insults I slurred at you in haste and anger back and swallow them whole. I feel like a beast—a demon—for speaking to you so cruelly. And I wish I had known then, what I know now—you never know when a word spoken can be the last.

 

I wonder so often if you are angry at me. And I wonder so often if you are at peace. I wonder so often if you are looking down on me, missing me, cheering me on, loving me from afar.

 

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Woman Shares The Insane Story Of Going On A Date With A Guy Who Works In A Morgue

Some first date stories are bad. But, some first date stories are f**king awful. Like, I mean, so awful they are almost unbelievable. The ones that you hear and say: “Nah, no shot that’s true.” And then you stop and realize how truly disgusting some humans can be and swear off dating for the rest of your life.

Twitter user Jacqueline shared the story of her friend’s date with a morgue worker and—brace yourselves, this is disgusting.

Her friend met the guy on Tinder.

After the date, they hook up and have sex. It gets…graphic.

After letting him plant his seed all over her chest, she has a rash the next day.

She decides to go to the doctor, who then sends her to a dermatologist.

And, they found “tiny parasites” under her skin.

The doctor says the only way a person gets these kinds of parasites are from having sex with animals or having sex with dead people.

As it turns out—the guy works in a morgue.

I’m just…

And, Twitter feels the same.

https://twitter.com/saintnandos/status/830043506768912384

https://twitter.com/AllEyesOnMe93/status/829080622790537218

PSA: Stop having sex with people you barely know, y’all.

Woman Hilariously Offers To Show Up To People’s Funerals For $50 And Actually Cashes In

For many of us, the idea of dying is pretty scary. Not only are we enamored by the idea of “what happens next,” but we’re also worried if anyone will care that we’re gone. Like, how much do you wonder if people will actually show up to your funeral? No? Just me? Okay then. Well, with all of my constant anxiety of being remembered as a good person and actually having people come to mourn me, I can now rest assured knowing I can always pay some great people out there to stand at my funeral to make it look like I was liked and cared for.

26-year-old writer and journalist Dana Schwartz recently shared a brilliant idea on Twitter saying that for $50, she’ll come to your funeral and stand far away, holding a black umbrella and looking shady—so people will think that you have lived a secret life and died a mystery. Honestly…amazing.

She also provided her Venmo account information, you know, in case people actually wanted to cash in and have Schwartz attend their funeral—eventually. She also made some other hefty promises along with her funeral attendance.

And, people actually Venmo’d Schwartz with some requests.

But, the jokes on those who really paid her—because, she said she’ll show up for sure. 

But, people on Twitter had a lot of other requests for Schwartz. Like, this guy who wanted a birthday mystery.

And, these wild detailed requests…

It’s great to see that everyone on Twitter wants to leave the Earth f*cking with their family and loved ones. I love me some shady folks. Thanks for making me look forward to death, y’all.

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