15 Things Your Anxious Girlfriend Wants To Hear When Her Anxiety Is At Its Worst

More often today, people are experiencing high levels of anxiety and panic disorders. Whether it be the influx of technology and stimulation we’re becoming accustomed to, or possibly the continuous piles of stress and responsibilities we have to take on—it’s no secret that many of us do suffer from anxiety disorders that, at times, can be debilitating. While doing everyday things can be quite difficult when you have anxiety, being in a healthy relationship is definitely something you have to work on.

Not all partners are understanding and compassionate when it comes to anxiety and anxiety attacks. There are those who understand, who go through it themselves and can relate. But, there are also those who have never dealt with anxiety—and, they believe the go-to mechanism is “relax.”

We all know—there is no worse trigger for anxiety than hearing the words, “just relax.” So, if you’re someone who is in a relationship with a girl who has anxiety and panic attacks—strap in, we’re here to help you out.

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20 Ways To Break Down Anxiety To Someone Who’s Never Had Anxiety

Anxiety Explained

It can seem almost impossible to explain anxiety to someone who has never experienced it. That must be why people say things like, “you should just calm down” when you’re having an attack of anxiety—because they just simply do not understand how scary and out of control it can feel.

A woman named Chrissy Stockton started a Facebook group for women who struggle with anxiety. She asked the members of the group to explain what their anxiety feels like, and here are 20 of the answers. You might find something that you relate to, or some way of explaining anxiety that you think might be helpful in your communications about it with friends and family.

1.

“I read before the best way to explain anxiety to someone is imagine you have porn up on your browser and someone comes up behind you, and you cannot hit that “x” button fast enough.”

2.

“When I’m anxious I can’t think of anything else but that one thing everything is on auto pilot. Taking a bath eating texting or even reading a book feels like a chore. Simply getting out of bed when you want nothing more than to stay in it is a challenge.”

3.

“When I am anxious I am completely fixated on the one thing. I can’t think rationally or logically, I only feel overwhelmed with emotion. It feels like everything is wrong and that it will always be that way. I can’t see past the cause of my anxiety or see that it will be fine. Anxiety makes it feel like the world is ending when it isn’t.”

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Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like No One Will Ever Truly Understand Me

Anxiety isn’t an uncommon topic. Everyone knows what it means to feel anxious about an exam or worried about a loved one or stressed out because life is busy.

But there are so many things about actually being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that continues to baffle many and there’s still a pretty big stigma around the condition.

There seems to be this theory that my anxiety looks like yours.

There’s this idea of what anxiety should be and when it should happen, and it all gets tied up inside a box with a neat little bow and put away until disaster strikes.

But anxiety doesn’t limit itself to obvious disaster. It takes every opportunity it can find to creep inside and ruin my day.

Anxiety lives in wet towels on the bathroom floor and messy rooms. Anxiety waits for me in my unmade bed and the pile of laundry that isn’t clean.

It lives in every moment in which control lies just outside my reach and it uninvitedly comes with me wherever I go.

Anxiety lurks in every minor symbol of chaos and turns the mundane into a panicked frenzy. It has this ability to turn every mistake into colossal failure and every simple conversation into complex, over-analyzed humiliation.

It turns jokes into tears and every outing into inconvenience until every breath I take becomes labored. It drains every single ounce of joy from my bones and doesn’t give me a moments notice.

It doesn’t always make sense and it doesn’t always allow me to control it. Anxiety is rude that way.

Some days I can fight it off — some days I anticipate a panic attack and I push it off for as long as possible until I reach the safety of crumbling into a ball under the covers.

But some days anxiety doesn’t care that it isn’t a convenient time for me to have a mental breakdown and I succumb to this thing in my brain that tells me nothing is going to be okay.

Some days anxiety wins.

Some days I lose to the chemical imbalance inside my own head and I don’t get to control my feelings, even if I know they are irrational. Some days anxiety just beats logic.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard I try, I just can’t relax. I can’t “just calm down” and sometimes I can’t do anything but wait for anxiety to loosen its siphoning grip on me.

After doing the research, speaking to the professionals, and comparing myself to others, one thing seems to ring true.

Every single person experiences anxiety differently.

You don’t have my brain or the same chemical imbalance going on up there. You don’t have my personality, and you’ve never stepped foot in my shoes.

So, you tell me, is your anxiety the same as mine?

For more from RC, visit her writer’s page here.