How does adultery impact divorce in Florida

“Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”

H. L. Mencken

Adultery as a ground for divorce in Florida

Divorce can be a complicated and emotionally difficult process, especially when infidelity is involved. In the state of Florida, adultery can be one of the grounds for ending a marriage. When one spouse discovers that their partner has engaged in an extramarital affair, it often leads to irreparable damage to the marital relationship.

Florida is considered a “no-fault” divorce state, meaning that spouses do not need to prove fault or wrongdoing by either party to obtain a divorce. If infidelity is proven, it can have significant implications for various aspects of the divorce process. For example, proof of infidelity can affect decisions related to child custody arrangements or spousal support.

Should an individual desire to cite adultery as a basis for divorce in Florida, they are required to present evidence showcasing the spouse’s involvement with another person outside the marriage. Establishing adultery as a legal ground can pose challenges, but it has the potential to influence the distribution of assets in property settlement negotiations. For more guidance on divorce proceedings in Florida, you can explore the resources available at floridaonlinedivorce.com.

The burden of proof in adultery cases

It is not enough for a spouse to simply allege that their partner has cheated. They must provide convincing evidence, such as photographs, text messages, or witness statements, that clearly confirm the existence of an extramarital affair. This evidence must demonstrate that the affair has had a detrimental effect on the marriage, causing irreparable damage or emotional distress.

Such cases can become highly contentious, as a partner may try to deny or downplay their involvement with another person outside of the marriage. This makes it more difficult to gather substantial evidence to establish grounds for divorce. Consulting with experienced family law attorneys who specialize in handling such cases can be invaluable in navigating complex legal procedures and ensuring that all necessary documentation is properly collected and submitted to the court.

Although proving adultery in a divorce case can be difficult due to the strict evidentiary requirements, it remains important. Understanding the associated burden of proof allows individuals to be strategic about their cases and seek professional guidance when necessary.

Impact of adultery on alimony

If one of the spouses can provide evidence that their partner was involved in an extramarital affair, this may affect the amount and duration of alimony. The court will take into account the financial consequences of the traitor’s actions for the innocent party. For example, if a spouse can demonstrate that their partner used joint property to support an adulterous relationship or exhausted joint funds for personal expenses related to the affair, this may result in a higher amount of alimony for the innocent party.

It is important to note that adultery alone does not automatically guarantee an increase in alimony. The court will consider various other factors, such as each person’s financial resources, earning capacity, and standard of living during the marriage. While infidelity may play a role in determining alimony, it is only one of many factors that courts consider when making spousal support decisions.

Distribution of assets and liabilities

In divorce cases involving an unfaithful spouse, the division of assets and liabilities may be affected by adultery. Florida follows the principle of equitable distribution, which means that community property is distributed fairly and equitably. Although infidelity itself cannot directly affect the distribution of assets, it can still have an indirect effect.

For example, if one of the partners used joint funds to support their affair or made significant financial gifts to their extramarital partner, this may be considered wasteful spending of assets. In such cases, the court may take these actions into account when determining the division of property. If one spouse can prove that their partner’s infidelity has resulted in a reduction in assets (e.g., legal fees incurred to defend against allegations), this may also affect the distribution of assets.

It is important for individuals to gather evidence and consult with experienced family law attorneys who understand how adultery can affect property division. By presenting compelling arguments and documents regarding the financial abuse involved in the case, individuals can increase their chances of obtaining a more favorable outcome regarding asset division.

Child custody and visitation rights

When it comes to child custody and visitation rights, the courts prioritize the best interests of the child. While a parent’s infidelity may not directly affect their ability to be a loving and supportive parent, it may still have implications for custody. The court will consider factors such as:

● stability of the home environment of each parent;
● their participation in the child’s life;
● evidence of harm or negligence caused by the marital behavior.

If a spouse can demonstrate that his or her partner’s extramarital affair has had a negative impact on the children, such as emotional stress or exposure to inappropriate situations, this may affect the custody decision. It is important to note that mere proof of infidelity does not automatically result in the loss of custody or visitation restrictions. The court will look at each case individually and make a decision based on what they believe is in the best interests of the children involved.

Resolving child custody issues requires careful consideration and strong legal representation. Consultation with experienced family law attorneys can help individuals understand their rights and options when seeking a custody arrangement, taking into account factors such as allegations of infidelity.

Adultery and prenuptial agreements

When a divorce in Florida involves adultery, it can have a significant impact on the negotiation and execution of a prenuptial agreement. Both parties may have different views on how adulterous behavior should be addressed in terms of property division, alimony, or child custody arrangements. The injured party may demand an increase in his or her share of assets or more alimony because of the emotional and financial toll the affair has taken on him or her.

The emotions associated with infidelity often lead to increased tension and difficulties in finding common ground. In such cases, it is important that spouses work with their attorneys to effectively navigate these sensitive topics and find fair solutions that address all aspects of the case.

Including provisions related to adultery in a prenuptial agreement can provide a level of reassurance to the affected person. For example, they may contain provisions prohibiting contact between their former partner and any third party involved in an extramarital affair or stipulate the consequences if such contact occurs. These agreements aim to establish boundaries that will help rebuild trust and mitigate potential future conflicts.

Infidelity has significant implications for negotiating and drafting a prenuptial agreement. Resolving issues related to property division, alimony, and child custody requires careful consideration and legal advice. A well-drafted settlement agreement can set boundaries that will promote healing while providing long-term stability for both parties after the divorce.

Consider prenuptial and postnuptial agreements

Such agreements can be powerful tools for addressing the potential impact of adultery on a divorce. These legally binding contracts allow you to establish guidelines and expectations regarding property division, alimony, and other financial matters. Including provisions that specifically address infidelity can provide clarity and protection for both parties involved.

When drafting a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, it is important to consult with an experienced family law attorney to guide you through the process. They can help make sure that the agreement is enforceable under Florida law and properly addresses your concerns.

It is worth noting that while such agreements are effective in setting the terms of a divorce, they cannot justify illegal actions. Such provisions may be declared unenforceable by a court if they are contrary to public policy.

Given the potential impact of infidelity on marriage, couples are advised to carefully consider including provisions related to adultery in their prenuptial or postnuptial agreements. This proactive approach allows them to have clear expectations if problems arise during the marriage.

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How to cope with grief and loss after a breakup or divorce

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Queen Elizabeth II

Give yourself permission to grieve and feel pain

● Acknowledge your emotions: give yourself permission to experience all the emotions associated with a breakup or divorce. Allow yourself to cry, scream, or vent your frustration.
● Take care of your physical health: grief can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. Make sure you get enough rest, eat healthy food, exercise regularly, and avoid dehydration.
● Seek support from family and friends: surround yourself with people who love and care for you during this difficult time. Talk about your feelings, and they can comfort you and show you the other side of the situation.

Remember that everyone deals with grief after divorce in their own way. Take your time; give yourself plenty of time to grieve. That way, you can move forward, free of resentment and negative emotions.

Seek support from family and friends

Remember that healing after divorce is not an instant process. It takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself throughout your recovery, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed. With proper self-care and the support of loved ones, you will be stronger in the long run.

Consider seeking professional help or counseling

● A therapist can tell you how to deal with difficult emotions. He or she has experience working with people going through situations similar to yours.
● This provides a safe space for self-expression: you may feel more comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with an objective third party rather than family or friends.
● Counseling helps change negative thought patterns: divorce often triggers negative thoughts, which affects a person’s ability to move forward in a positive way. Therapy sessions will change these harmful thought patterns.

In California, couples seeking to ending a marriage have two options: annulment or divorce. While both options result in the dissolution of the marriage, they differ significantly in procedure and outcome.

An annulment is only granted if a formal union was not recorded due to factors such as fraud, bigamy, lack of capacity, or consent during the marriage.

Divorce ends an existing marital relationship because of irreconcilable differences between the spouses or other grounds for separation recognized by law. Compared to annulment proceedings, divorces usually take longer because they involve issues such as property division and child custody disputes that must be resolved before a final judgment can be issued.

Take care of your physical health with exercise and a healthy diet

● Incorporate exercise into your daily routine: even small steps such as a walk or yoga class can make a significant difference.
● Eat nutritious foods: focus on eating whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats.
● Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms: while it may be tempting to turn to alcohol or other addictions during this challenging time, these habits can lead to further complications.

When opting for either an annulment vs divorce in California to dissolve your marriage, it is essential to recognize that, in the end, the choice won’t alter the importance of practicing self-care while navigating the challenges of grief. Keep in mind that seeking assistance from loved ones or engaging in professional counseling can contribute significantly to the healing process.

Focus on your personal growth and hobbies

● Rediscover old hobbies or interests: did you used to love to paint, hike, or make music? Revisit these activities that once brought joy to your life.
● Take up new hobbies or pastimes, and learn a skill you’ve always wanted to try. It’s a great way to channel your energy into something positive.
● Invest in self-care: focus on taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities such as yoga, meditation, or therapy sessions.

Remember that there is no one right way to deal with grief after divorce. Everyone has their own unique path. It is important to take your time in the healing process and be kind to yourself along the way. Focusing on personal growth and nurturing positivity will ultimately help ease the pain of divorce.

Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse

• Seek professional help: a therapist or counselor can provide guidance on how to cope with grief and loss after a breakup or divorce.
• Stay active: exercise releases endorphins, which improve mood and reduce stress levels, helping you feel better mentally and physically.
• Practice self-care: take time for yourself by engaging in activities that bring you joy or relaxation.

Remember that seeking support from family and friends is also vital during this period. They can offer comfort advice or simply listen when needed. Avoiding unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse and utilizing healthy methods like those listed above will help you move forward after divorce.

Give yourself time to heal, and don’t rush into a new relationship

● Take your time: rushing into a new relationship can lead to more disappointment in the long run. Give yourself plenty of time before dating again.
● Rediscover your passions: use this opportunity to explore the things that make you happy and focus on self-improvement.
● Learn from past mistakes: think about what went wrong in your previous relationship, learn from it, and avoid similar mistakes.

Remember that everyone goes through divorce recovery differently, so don’t compare yourself to others or feel pressured by society. Give yourself the necessary space and time needed to fully heal.

Do not rush into a new relationship right away, as this can lead to even more emotional stress. It is crucial to take a break to reflect on the lessons learned from the past union.

Going through a divorce can be emotionally difficult, but with patience and outside support, it is possible to successfully overcome grief. Remember, there is no time frame for healing after divorce – take as much time as you need.

Process Your Grief

Five Ways to Make Custody Agreements Go as Smoothly as Possible — for You, Your Children, and Their Other Parent

Going through a divorce is rarely easy, and it is sure to be much more challenging when children are involved.

But custody agreements can go more smoothly for you, your ex, and your kids when you think things through with a clear head and do what is primarily best for your children.

Here are five ways to go about it.

1. Create a Custody Arrangement That Works Best for Your Specific Situation

There is no one-size-fits-all method for creating a smooth and workable custody arrangement, but by considering your specific circumstances, and the circumstances of your kids and their other parent, you can create a customized custody arrangement that goes as smoothly as possible.

You should take the schedule of you, your ex, and your children into account.

That means considering things like your children’s ages and personalities, the social and career commitments of you and the other parent, and your children’s academic and extracurricular activities.

You should also consider the distance between your home and your ex’s home and the childcare arrangements you have in place.

By looking at all such things with a practical head, you can create a custody arrangement that works best for your specific circumstances and ensure your kids are impacted as little as possible by the change.

2. Find an Agreeable Communication Method

In order to come up with workable practical plans that run smoothly and ensure handovers go well, you need to find an agreeable way to communicate with your ex.

Thankfully, in today’s modern world, there are more ways to communicate with one another than ever before.

So, if you feel like you will struggle with regular face-to-face communications or even phone conversations, you can always choose to communicate by email, text, or messenger service.

The best communication method may be an app in which you can access messaging, joint calendars, and document storage.

In addition to selecting the right communication method, you must ensure that you communicate amicably with your ex, for your sake and your children’s.

3. Get Input from Your Children

Whenever you do anything concerning your custody agreement, remember to put your children first.

Your kids are sure to go through a challenging time during and after a divorce, so make sure you enable your kids to express their feelings.

Children should have some input into custody agreements, though the children’s ages will determine the amount of input they are able to give. After all, the needs and opinions of a fourteen-year-old will be very different from a four-year-old.

Kids who have more input into custody arrangements are more likely to be agreeable to new schedules and other changes.

So, ensure you let your children be heard to make everything run as smoothly as possible for them, you, and the other parent.

4. Get a Lawyer Involved

Having a professional to help you through the custody agreement process from start to finish can help to make everything go as smoothly as possible.

So, you should get a lawyer involved from day one, even if you and your ex are on good terms.

With an attorney’s professional assistance for child custody, you can protect and ensure your child’s wellbeing better and achieve the best possible outcome for you and your kids.

5. Periodically Review the Situation

Once custody arrangements have been agreed upon and you and your ex have a workable system in place, you should periodically review the situation to ensure the two of you and your children are happy with the arrangements.

Also, you will need to review the situation whenever any major change occurs, such as your ex moving to a new location for work.

So, as your circumstances change and your children grow up, you need to reassess your custody agreement.

 

How Women Can Protect Their Financial Assets Post-Divorce

Kim Kardashian’s recent split from husband, Ye, has shown us just how unprepared we may become in the midst of a divorce from our partners. None of us get married with the assumption that a divorce is inevitable, and we don’t want to plan our lives accordingly, but in any marriage, you can’t predict what your future situation will be.
However, it is important to protect one’s financial assets after a divorce. Here, an experienced and skilled divorce lawyer can provide insight into the range of options and help craft an agreement that works best for each individual based on their particular situation. With divorce involving both legal and financial components, working with a divorce lawyer can ensure all aspects of the divorce process – including legal documents and paperwork – are handled appropriately.

Let’s talk credit…

One of the most important financial aspects to understand after a divorce is the effect it can have on your credit. While a divorce decree may break down who in the relationship will be responsible for any specific debt, your original loan documents will remain unchanged. Joint credit remains joint credit even after a divorce.
In the eyes of the lender, you are contractually responsible for that loan, and any late or missed payments will still affect your credit. Ideally, your divorce decree will specify that any joint credit accounts will be closed and refinanced individually. If not, this should be done as soon as possible – especially with credit cards where your ex-partner could continue adding additional charges that you will be jointly responsible for!
You can pull your free credit report online at annualcreditreport.com, and review it for any forgotten joint credit accounts that may be lingering under you and your ex-partner’s names.
Remember that store account you opened together three years ago to purchase a new refrigerator? It may still be open, even after it was paid off.

The 4-step process…

Most partners will find themselves living on less income after a divorce. This makes it even more pertinent to assess your new financial situation and make a plan for the future. Leigh Singleton, Director of Financial Education at Monifi, suggests using an easy 4-step process to assist in getting your finances back on track.

1. Assess the Now.

When assessing your current financial standing, Leigh recommends constructing a document listing your assets (banks accounts, investments, retirement funds, etc.) in one column and your outstanding debt balances in an alternate column – this allows you to fully work through all of your financial assets and recognize them in real time.

 2. Identify Your Goals.

Take a close look at the document you created and decide what you’d like to change. Are you hoping to pay off your card debt? Save for a girl’s trip to the Bahamas? Start or add to your retirement fund?

3. See Where Your Money Goes.

Track your expenses over the following months. You may be surprised at some of the areas money is sifting through your fingers. Banking apps such as Monifi make it easy to track your expenses by automatically categorizing your transactions for you.

4. Create a Spending Plan.

Use your selected app or spreadsheet to create expense categories such as rent/mortgage, food, dining out, kid’s sports, etc. and indicate a monthly budget for each line item. It may take a few months to stay true to the allocated spends, but don’t despair, change takes time.
Getting your finances on track during a marriage can be difficult, and divorce adds another layer of complications. Creating financial freedom as early as possible, even within a healthy and strong relationship, will assist both partners in the long term. Leigh reminded us “financial freedom doesn’t necessarily mean you have as much money as you need to buy everything you want. What it really means is understanding and planning your financial life.”

These 6 Tips Will Make the Divorce Process Run Much More Smoothly

The question of how to make the divorce process run more smoothly is a common one. Everyone wants this process to be as painless and simple as possible. It does not have to be an unpleasant experience, and these six tips will help you get through it without too much stress.

Hire A Lawyer

Your first step should always be to hire a qualified divorce lawyer. This is one of the best ways to ensure that you have a good experience with the divorce. This is especially true if you live in and around Brisbane, where local Gold Coast lawyers are one of your best chances for success. A lawyer will handle all of your paperwork and filings, making sure that nothing falls through the cracks. Here are tips for choosing a lawyer:
● The earlier you can hire a lawyer, the better. This will give them enough time to get all of your documentation together.
● Make sure they are qualified to practice family law.
● Check their background and ensure that they have no history of misconduct or unethical practices.
● Ensure that you feel comfortable with them, both personally and professionally. You want someone who is easy to talk to and reason with. They should be fair in everything that they do, even when it means going against what you want for your case. If you don’t think the chemistry will work between the two of you, then this is not the right person for the job. Your lawyer will likely become one of your closest allies throughout this process.

Be Flexible And Cooperative

Flexibility and cooperation are the keys to making this process run smoothly. Be willing to work with your spouse on matters like selling the home, splitting up assets, and financial matters (splitting retirement accounts can get very complicated). Remember that even though you may be in disagreement about some things, you still have the same general goal of getting through this process as quickly and safely as possible while still protecting your interests. Sometimes this can be tough, but it is worth the effort in order to make sure that things don’t get messy and complicated during this process.

Make Sure Your Spouse Knows You Are Prepared For The Long Haul

If you aren’t prepared for a lengthy divorce process, then you might find yourself frustrated with how long everything takes. If you’re like most people, then you do not want to spend months or even years going through court proceedings and trying to argue your case before a judge. Instead of viewing this process as something done quickly, view it as an ongoing series of negotiations and adjustments between the two of you. This will help keep things from getting frustrating when deadlines are missed or pushed back due to circumstances beyond your control.

Don’t Let The Kids Think They Are To Blame For Everything

If you have children, then one of the most important things is for them to understand that they are not to blame for any of this. Make sure that they know how much both you and their other parent love them regardless of what happens during this process. Try not to use the kids as messengers or bargaining chips during negotiations with your spouse if at all possible. This can be tough because sometimes one parent will start asking the kids about activities done with the other parent, dating habits, etc., but try to keep these conversations between yourself and your partner so that it does not cause confusion or problems for the children in both homes.

Know What You Want Out Of The Divorce

Having a clear idea about what it is that you want from the process is an excellent way to keep things moving forward. If you don’t know what it is that you want, then your spouse could try to force you into decisions and compromises that you aren’t prepared for, and this can make everything much more difficult than it needs to be. By knowing what you want and making this clear at the start of the process, you will also help prevent your spouse from trying to pit you against your attorney or other family members who might be involved as well (such as parents).

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

If you feel at any point during this process that it’s too much for one person to handle on their own, then do not hesitate to ask for help. This is a difficult time for you, and there’s no reason to try to go it alone when others are willing to help. If you need financial assistance with your divorce proceedings, then ask a friend or family member. There may be services available that offer free legal aid as well depending on the nature of your case and what stage it is at.

Or if you need emotional support, then don’t be shy to ask your friends or family for this as well.

There are times when speaking to other people can help you get through these emotional processes and remind you that you aren’t alone in what you’re going through. Sometimes all that is needed is a fresh perspective or additional knowledge about how this process works so that you can face certain difficulties head-on instead of being unsure about what lies ahead from one point to the next.
This is a difficult process no matter how you look at it, but with the right mindset and strategy, it can be done in a way that helps both parties get what they need out of it while making things much more smooth for everyone involved. You shouldn’t view your spouse as an enemy to be fought against during this process; instead, keep them as someone you still care about even if there are negative feelings between you now. By following these tips, you should find the divorce process to go much smoother than expected.

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Separation and Lasting Powers of Attorney

“Till death do us part” is what we say when we exchange our marriage vows. But the truth is marriages don’t always last forever. And when it comes to an end, many other things do too. Like a lasting power of attorney. 

Normally, our spouse would take major healthcare and financial decisions for us if we get dementia or we’re not in the right physical state to make important decisions. 

But when we lose our spouse through divorce or separation, we can replace the current lasting power of attorney and appoint someone else to manage or take decisions about our finances and health in the best way possible. 

Let’s explore what a lasting power of attorney is and how it can protect our health and finances.

 

What is the Lasting Power of Attorney?

A lasting power of attorney is a legal document that allows someone at least 21 years old (the donor or the principal) to appoint somebody (the donee or the attorney-in-fact) who is also at least 21 years of age to carry out immediate decisions on behalf of the donor on matters related to health and financial management. 

This kind of document is drawn when the donor wants to appoint someone to make decisions in case they are unable to do it themselves because of mental or physical incapacity. 

 

Types of Lasting Powers of Attorney

There are two types of lasting powers of attorney – LPA for healthcare decisions and LPA for property and financial decisions. 

Your donee makes health and care decisions for you when you don’t have the mental capacity to do so. Such decisions include:

● Medical treatment
● Life-saving treatment
● Care home or another place of residence
● People who can have contact with you
● What you should eat
● The type of social activities you can engage in

In financial decisions LPA, you can ask your doneeto make decisions for you even when you have the mental capability to do it. You can specify that your attorney can start to make financial decisions for you the moment your mental capacity is compromised. 

 

Financial decisions by the lasting power of attorney include:

● Mortgage payment
● Bills payment
● Investments 
● Buying and selling land and other property
● Property management and repair. 

Make sure to include in the terms that the attorney-in-fact should maintain separate accounts of yours and their money. All transaction details should be shared with either you or your family members specified by you. 

Separation and Lasting Powers of Attorney

Many people think that spouses are the next best person to assume the role of a lasting power of attorney. However, that’s not the case if there’s no legal document for it. 

Assuming you have appointed your spouse as the lasting power of attorney but your marriage ends in divorce. What happens then?

With the end of a marriage or a civil partnership, your spouse loses the lasting power of attorney authority. Even if you had given joint LPA to your ex-spouse and someone else, your current LPA would be void in the eyes of law. 

You can appoint someone whom you can trust completely to make important financial and healthcare decisions. Someone from your close circle of friends and family is a likely candidate. But think twice as your attorneys may have the power to sell your property. 

In the event you have nobody to trust well enough, you can get a professional lasting power of attorney to take care of your property and health. 

If you don’t have the LPA in place and you lose your mental abilities to make the right decisions, the legal system will appoint someone as your LPA. This process is known as deputyship and is far more expensive and time-consuming than having an LPA. 

Moreover, the court has the final say to decide who can be your LPA and it could be someone not to your liking.  

 

Steps to Set Up a Lasting Power of Attorney

To set up a lasting power of attorney, follow the steps below:

1. Pick someone you can trust to act on your behalf when you are not in a mental or physical state to do it. 
2. Check the state laws and jurisdiction. 
3. Get a witness when you sign the LPA. 
4. Put your initials on each page of the document although your state may not require you to do so. If you want to sign the document using a digital signature, make sure the laws in your state permit it. 
5. Make sure you are present when the witness and the notary put their initials on every page. 
6. Have the signed lasting power of attorney notarized. This means that a notary public puts an authority seal on the LPA to signal that it’s legal. Even if some states may not require notarization, you are strongly recommended to get your LPA notarized. 
7. An LPA need not be filed somewhere else when it comes to LPA for property management, it should be filed with the Land Titles Office or the County Clerk. Check which one is applicable in your state. 
8. Share copies of the LPA with your attorney, lawyer, and your close friends and family. Store the original document in a safe place like a fireproof cabinet or with your lawyer. 

 

Signing and notarization procedures differ between different states, therefore, you’re advised to check these in your state. Otherwise, your LPA may not be valid. This could prove to be problematic in case you get a divorce later and end up without anyone to handle your medical and financial decisions.  

 

Conclusion

Accidents are just that – accidents. You never know when you could become invalid either mentally or physically. When such situations strike us, there’s little we can do. 

But what we can do is have a lasting power of attorney ready and waiting to be executed. This written document has the power to control how your finances and health are managed when you’re not capable. 

Even though your spouse could take these decisions for you, a separation or a divorce ends that authority. Therefore, it’s smart to have a new lasting power of attorney in place as soon you can after your divorce.

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Finding Balance: 6 Steps Towards an Amiable Separation

Relationships end for many reasons, and you may still be coming to terms with the recent conclusion of your relationship. As difficult as this time can be, you have many options available to you to help you progress and resolve the situation. There are a number of trusted and experienced divorce lawyers in Melbourne who can assist you through this journey to ensure you get the outcome you are looking for.

No matter how you are feeling right now, remember things will eventually get better and this difficult situation will soon be behind you. It’s important to understand what you can do to ensure an amicable separation from your ex and move forward with your life as soon as possible. Separating from your partner can be a stressful experience but with the right approach, you can ensure everything goes as smoothly as possible and you and your ex have an amicable separation.

Let’s take a look at six steps you can follow to ensure an amicable separation from your partner.

 

Communicate What You Need

Having open conversations can help ensure you are both on the same page in your understanding of the processes that need to be completed. Take time to prepare and learn about what you will need to complete when filing for separation and ensure that the other person is also aware of what they need to do. With any relationship, it will take time to untangle your lives and figure out the best course of action, so make sure you are clear on what you need and want to achieve.

 

Write Stuff Down

At times it can be easier to write than to speak. If you feel conversations are not serving to progress your situation, then try emailing your ex to lay out your thoughts clearly. Writing down what you want to communicate can help you consider what you want to say, and also gives the other person time to digest your words and then respond in a calm, considered way.

 

Be Honest About Your Finances

The subject of finances always has the potential to be divisive and can easily increase tensions between you and your ex-partner. The only way that you both get what you want in this area of your separation, is, to be honest, and open about what you need.

To start the process, you should perform an audit of both your family spend and your personal spend, making a written record of all the details. Also, consider whether you should close any joint accounts and look at how you can best approach any jointly held credit cards. It can be helpful to create a budget to help determine whether you are both able to live separately from one another, whilst still covering living costs, paying bills, and taking care of the needs of your children. If it is proving difficult to have these conversations, then seek advice from a professional to help navigate this often difficult issue.

 

Remain Mindful Of Your Children

Separation is a difficult process for kids and one that can be upsetting and confusing. Remember that you both need to be there for them throughout the process to ensure that they handle everything well. Try to explain in the best you can what is happening, and make sure they know they will still have access to both of you when they need their parents. Although you may be separating, your child still deserves to have relationships with family on both sides. It’s important to strive to establish a stable arrangement for each partner, ensuring there is equal access on a regular basis.

 

Practice Meditation

In the midst of all this stress and rearranging, it can be difficult to find a moment of peace and calm. Practicing meditation once a day can help you realign and set clear intentions. Meditation has a positive impact on your mood and can help quieten daily stresses. Having a little quiet time set aside just for you can also help you gain some clarity in your thoughts.

Create A Support Network

Going through a separation, it won’t always be plain sailing. There will be moments where you need to lean on someone and ask for their support. Talk to friends and family and make them aware of how you are coping with the ongoing situation. Seeking out support will help progress your healing and acceptance, and it will keep those closest to you aware of what you need.

When leaning on friends and family, be sure to make it clear you don’t want to point blame at your ex. Having family and friends bad mouthing this person will not help resolve your feelings and may hinder the process of you building a good relationship with your former partner going forward. It is far more helpful if these voices offer support and balanced advice.

 

Look After Your Own Needs To Ensure Your Separation Goes Smoothly

Remember to check in with yourself throughout and after going through a separation. Your mental wellbeing during the progression of this situation is important, and you need to take care of yourself. If things get too difficult, remember you are not alone, and that there are professional services available that can offer help to see you through the tough times. With the right help and support through your separation proceedings, you will be in a better frame of mind to deal with the issues at hand and reach an amicable solution with your ex.

Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents

Co-parenting can be tough, even for parents who ended their marriage on a good note.
Trying to find a schedule that works and sharing the same set of discipline ideas can be complicated. There is obviously a good reason why you and your ex got a divorce. And things that you couldn’t agree on before when it came to parenting, may still continue to present issues after your divorce.
Despite the fights and differences in opinion, you can still make a success of co-parenting.
Remember, your children are the most important thing, so putting disputes behind you will be beneficial for the emotional health of your kids.
  • Put hurt and anger away

This is probably one of the most important things you can do, but also one of the hardest. This can be especially true if your spouse was unfaithful in your marriage. Feelings of hurt, resentment, anger, and sadness will need to be held at bay when your children are around. If you feel these emotions, choose a time when your kids are not around to vent. But in front of your children try to keep your cool when it comes to your ex. Remember, your children love both you and your ex. Name-calling and shaming of your ex can cause severe hurt in your children.
If you need to talk about how you feel, see a therapist, or talk to a friend. Get your anger out in a healthy way, away from your children. Exercise is also a great way to get rid of negative energy.
Another thing to consider is that if your ex does something that infuriates you in front of your kids, you will need to keep your cool. Write your ex an email or call them when your children are not around. This will ensure that no fighting ensues while your children are around. Fighting in front of children can cause them huge amounts of anxiety.
Always remain child-focused. Think about your children’s feelings and do whatever you can to not bad mouth your ex in front of them.
  • Don’t put your children in the middle of your battles

You never want to bring up your issues with your ex in front of your children. These are your problems, not that of your children. You should never use your kids as messengers between parents or make them feel like they have to choose sides. Your children have a right to get to know their other parent and have a relationship with them without interference.

  • Make visits and transitions easier for your kids

Visiting a parent every other weekend can be a heavy burden for kids. They might feel guilty about leaving one parent to visit the other. Or they could feel guilty about the fun they had with one parent and not want to talk about it.
Besides this, you might even have to move homes or neighborhoods. This can be a stressful ordeal for your child. Their routines are muddled up, their safe space has taken away from them, and everything might be different. There are a few things that you and your ex can do to help your child cope with all the changes.
  • Remind your child of the visit

If your child is still young, remind them ahead of time that they will be visiting their other parent. You could do this the day before or two days before. This will prepare them for the visit.
  • Avoid lengthy goodbyes

When it’s time to say goodbye, give your child a quick hug and say something like “Have fun and I will see you later.” A positive send-off will help your child feel less anxiety.
  • Pack your child’s bag beforehand

By packing your child’s bag in advance, you can be certain they won’t miss anything. If your child is older, you can help them pack. By not missing anything, your child will have all they need for their visit and not want to come home to fetch a favorite stuffed teddy bear or their cell phone. Because By coming back home, it could make it harder for them to stay with their other parent.

  • What should you do if your child refuses to visit you?

If your child doesn’t want to visit you, communication is key. Talk to your child or your ex about the reasons why your child is refusing to see you. Is the child angry at you for the divorce?  Your child might also feel bored at your house, or perhaps they don’t like it if you discipline them. Talk to your child and find out what could be the problem. Open communication is the most important thing at this stage. Always show love and patience towards your children.
It’s also important to not force your child to visit if they don’t want to. Give them their space and wait for them to feel ready.
  • Communicate with your ex

Open communication is crucial. Try talking to each other in a calm and reasonable way when it comes to your children. Always work together as a team when it comes to parenting. Even if you disagree, talking to each other with respect and kindness is key.
  • Try to be flexible

Sometimes when a parent cannot fulfill their visitation on a certain weekend, they may want to reschedule. If it is possible, try and be flexible. By working together you can help your child feel safe. At the same time though, canceling visits frequently is a bad idea. Stick to your word, and only cancel if you really have to. Children need stability and routine. By changing things up too often, your child will become stressed and feel uncertain.
  • Set boundaries together

As a team, you will need to set boundaries for your children together. This is essential for effective co-parenting. As mentioned before, children need a routine. For example, if one parent doesn’t agree with dating at the age of 13, see if there is a way that you can come to a compromise together as parents.
This will also show your child that you are working together as a team and they can’t play one parent against the other.
Some children might behave one way with one parent and a different way with the other parent. If you can both come up with rules that work for your child, stick to them together as a team. This will help your child feel secure and know exactly what is expected of them.
  • Always show love

One thing both parents will have in common is that they share their love for their children. Use this common ground to your advantage and work together to help your children feel loved. Divorce can be heartbreaking for children, but if they know that both parents love them and are present, they will thrive, no matter what.
  • See a therapist

If you find co-parenting challenging, see a qualified therapist. They can help give you tips and advice on how to handle each situation.

Take heart

Co-Parenting has its challenges, but it can also be a great opportunity to support your children in a loving and positive way. Remember that your children and their emotional health are most important. Do whatever you can to make this part of their lives easier, and even a happy time.

This is How You Go Through a Divorce Without Wrecking Your Soul

Divorce Doesn’t Have To Wreck You

We live in a society that labels divorce as an unspoken, deadly sin. Failure, mistakes, and heartache are the things that we allow to spur off from this word. But, until you have swum through the seas of divorce, you have no idea what can truly branch off from it.

You have two options: paddle your arms and kick your feet so that you learn to swim, or drown in divorce altogether. If you take that chance and allow yourself to learn and grow during this monumental change, you will come out the other end with a boatload of life skills and coping mechanisms that can transform other facets of your life.

If you choose to completely drown while going through the divorce, carrying every negative thought and feeling around like your life depends on it, you will do more harm than good. You will miss the opportunity to learn from old behaviors and how to sculpt yourself in a “bad mamma-jamma”.

 

Here’s a list of ten things that I am learning during this chapter of my life called “Divorce”:

Why Is It Necessary to Get out of Your Unhappy Married Life

Getting a divorce is not something that newlyweds envision when they first walk down the aisle together. But the truth is, many couples face challenges in marriage and a happily ever after isn’t always in the cards.

When two people come together and try to save their marriage, it’s a beautiful thing. But not every couple is able to fix what is wrong in their relationship. In fact, sometimes it can be emotionally or physically dangerous to stay in a toxic marriage.

Separating from your partner is not always a bad thing. 

It can lead to change, personal growth, better mental health, or in some cases, even a stronger marriage when you get back together.

Here are 6 reasons why it’s sometimes necessary to separate from your spouse.

1. It Can Damage Your Mental Health

Being around someone who irritates you or mistreats you can be extremely frustrating and hurtful. It can also affect your stress levels.

Studies show that living with chronic stress over an extended period of time can negatively affect both your mental and physical health. Symptoms of stress include fatigue, low energy, body pains, frequent colds, low libido, upset stomach, constant feelings of anxiety, feeling like something is always wrong.

If your partner treats you unkindly, you may also start to lose your self-esteem, which can affect your mental health and make you believe that you do not deserve to be in a healthier relationship.

2. It’s Bad for Your Children

Are you staying together for your children? While it’s true that children suffer emotionally, academically, professionally, and romantically when their parents get divorced, that doesn’t mean you must stay in an unhappy marriage to appease your children

Staying in an unhappy marriage where there is constant stress, arguing, and tension in the household is unhealthy for your family unit, especially your spouse is verbally or physically abusive.

3. It Can Be a Catalyst for Change 

Just because you’re separating from your spouse doesn’t mean you have to run out and get a divorce. In fact, many couples benefit from a temporary marital separation.

If you are separating with a view to potentially getting back together, it’s important to set ground rules. For example, set a time limit for how long you will be apart and do not date other people while you are separated. If you are separated from your spouse, use it as an opportunity to get to know yourself on a deeper level. The last thing you need after leaving your marital partner is to jump right into a new relationship.

Being apart can give you and your spouse the motivation you need to work on your marriage and improve your communication skills. This will help you come back together stronger than ever.

4. It’s Exhausting Being Unhappy

German poet, painter, and novelist, Hermann Hesse said “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

Being unhappy is absolutely exhausting. It drains your patience, your emotions, and turns you into someone you can’t recognize in the mirror.

You should not feel that this makes you a quitter or a bad person to leave a marriage to someone who abuses you, is constantly stepping out on your marriage bed, or who had problems with addiction.

It takes strength to take control of your life and let go of a marriage, but sometimes it is what both parties need in order to be happy.

5. You Deserve Respect

If you are unhappy in your marriage, it is likely that there has been a breakdown in communication. When couples no longer communicate, the entire relationship falls apart. It has a ripple effect that impacts your marital friendship, your sex life, and your overall well being.

You deserve to be happy, and more than that, you deserve respect in your romantic relationship.

Respect increases partner engagement. 

It also creates a fair environment, reduces stress, and makes you feel comfortable in your relationship. When your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries are respected, your confidence and comfort soar.

6. Your Social Life is Drying Up

Unhappy marriages can often turn controlling. 

Your partner may start to manipulate or gaslight you in order to get their way. This can cause you to drift away from your friends, family and make you feel isolated and alone.

If you are not in a controlling relationship but your social life is still non-existent, there may be other factors at play. When you are unhappy, the last thing you may want to do is get out and socialize.

Perhaps you do not wish to spend time socializing with your spouse or you don’t want people to know that you’re in an unhappy marriage. But friends can help you through difficult times. Studies show that receiving support from family and friends after a trauma or breakup can significantly lower psychological distress.

Being unhappily married is a hard, stressful, and emotionally exhausting journey. But you do not need to stay miserable for the rest of your life. If you have exhausted all of your options for making your marriage work, do not view your decision to separate as a failure. View it as a new chapter in your life.

 

Author Bio:

Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. You can find more from Rachael on social media:
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Want to read more about marriage on PuckerMob? Check out Being a Wife to a Hard Working Man.

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