Amazon is basically the Holy Grail of online shopping. Where else would you find everything you need, and then some, to please your true inner-alcoholic?
No self-respecting, raging drinker would dare go without these things:
1. “Drunken Grownups” bottle coolie. A clever play on words never looked better holding a beer.
2. Flask. Always have it handy.
3. All-In-One Opener. A solid bottle opener means no beverage stands the chance of escaping your uncontrollable urge for alcohol.
4. USA Beer Cap Map. What better way to show off your drunken achievements than displaying the caps on a beautiful, dark-stained cut out of the U.S.? God Bless, America.
5. 17 oz Stemless Wine Glass. A wine glass that justifies drinking alone? Major need.
6. Pineapple Shaped Ice Cube Tray. Nothing says “I’m a fun drunk” more than fancy ice cubes.
7. Wine Glass Charms. Because if you can dress your wine up enough, maybe you won’t look as trashy when you’re wasted.
8. Mixology Dice. Just when you thought you’d tried every drink, here’s a game that will show you a whole new world of getting plastered.
9. His/Her Display Box. Buy this if you feel the need to prove that you can drink your S.O. under the table, no questions asked.
10. Key-Chain Breathalyzer. Because you need to know if you’re driving home or sleeping in the car… again.
11. Wine Letter Cork Holder. Wine is so important you use it to decorate.
12. LOL-OMG-WTF Wine Glass. A wine glass that foresees the kind of night you’re pouring yourself.
13. Forest Landscape Whiskey Glasses. When you get too dizzy and need some fresh air, go for your whiskey glass with mountain vibes.
14. Stainless Steel Beverage Tub with Stand. Because all your friends are alcoholics too and no one likes warm drinks.
15. 5 Piece Stainless Steel Bar Set. What’s a true alcoholic without her tools?
Congratulations, if you have everything on this list you can officially add “Professional Drinker to your resume.
