The Rebellious Girl’s Guide to a Breakup

We’ve all been there… Whether it’s your choice or theirs, you lost someone you cared about. Now, there are a million ways people can deal with breakups ranging from gallons of Ben & Jerrys to crying by a sunset. But, if you’re anything like me and prefer the edgier side of life, this breakup guide is for you.

Try a New Haircut

This is one of the most classic post-breakup actions. This is your time to take drastic measures because this is a new you! If you’re a brunette, try dying your hair bleach blonde. If you have long hair, try a bob. Dye it, chop it, shave a design into the back of your head… Express yourself via your locks.

Get a Tattoo

Getting a tattoo is one of my favorite activities, in general. So, if you already have tats, add to the collection. If you’re a tattoo virgin, take a friend and get something tiny. There are shops everywhere, and sometimes tattoo parlors do special deals for Friday the 13th. Whether it’s a tiny lightning bolt or a quote that covers your ribs, take the ink plunge.

Get a Piercing

Again, getting piercings is one of my favorite things to do. In fact, I’m running out of places to pierce. Especially if you’re wary of a tattoo, a piercing could be your best option. This could include your ears, belly button, nose, eyebrow… If it’s piercable, look into it. If you don’t like it, you can take it out – plain and simple. This can be done at almost any tattoo shop which may have deals from time to time on piercings, too.

Cut Up Pictures

You know those hundreds of pictures you have saved on your phone of you and your S.O.? Get them printed cheap at Walmart, delete them from your phone, and take a scissor to them! After you’re done, you can throw the shreds out, burn them (if it’s safe for the environment), whatever. Trust me, it feels better to chop up something than just deleting the pictures from wherever they’re saved.

(Safely) Destroy Some of Their Things

Now, let’s be clear. Arson is never okay. Destroying things that will cause harm to the environment in the end is never okay. But, if you have some old t-shirts, maybe a baseball cap, or any other little thing that is okay to destroy, do it. Of course, never destroy anything that the other person may want back. But, if they’re okay with losing it, throw it in a fire pit and light a match. Cut their clothes up into little rags and use them for cleaning. Do what you have to do (safely, of course).

Put Together a Playlist

If that means sad songs, then go with that. But, if you’re looking for a way to take out your anger, I suggest some of the best breakup anthems ever created. If you’re not in the mood to create one from scratch, Spotify has hundreds that will fit with how you’re feeling.

Let Yourself Feel

Yes, I know. This is not very “rebellious.” But, letting yourself feel emotions is healthy. What’s not healthy is clinging onto them for dear life. But, it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be angry. It’s what you do in those moments that can lead to toxicity.

In the end, you need to handle a breakup in a way that is most positive for you and your mental health. As someone who has tried every single post-breakup action in the book, I can positively say that the ones listed above are what worked best for me. But, remember, go at your own speed and always put your mental health first.

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About the Author

Emmie Pombo is a latte and tattoo-loving Tennessean who specializes in mental health and beauty writing. She holds a degree in Journalism and a certification in Makeup Artistry and Airbrushing. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

Maybe You Should Man Up Instead of Feeding Me Excuses 24/7

You Are Full Of Excuses

I tried for so long to see past the reality of our relationship. But, the truth is you loved making excuses way more than you could ever love me. 

You didn’t want to be held accountable for your mistakes. Instead, you would make me feel like everything we ever went through was somehow my fault.

And, it broke me for a long time. Because I bought into it. It just made me try harder to be better for you and be better for us.

 

But, I was never the problem. 

It didn’t matter how hard I tried to fix everything or how often I forgave the same mistake over and over again.

It didn’t matter that I let you off the hook every time you let me down or I tried to find ways to cut you slack and lower my expectations of your contribution to us.

And, like so many times before when I got to this breaking point, I tried to pour my heart out to you about it.

 

I tried to make you see why this wasn’t working on the off chance that something I said might resonate with you.

But, once again, you had your normal line of rationalizations ready and waiting for me. The same things I’ve heard, time and time again. You have an excuse for everything. For every mistake and every situation. And your excuses became mine. I would defend you over and over again.

I don’t know why it took this long, but it finally became so clear to me: this is not worth it.

I am worth more than these excuses. I am worth more than this inconsistent, unhealthy, disappointing dynamic. I am worthy of finding someone that is never going to allow us to settle into this toxic, distorted version of love.

Because it’s not that you’ve made mistakes. It’s that you never planned on growing with me from them.

 

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