ending-a-toxic-relationship Archives

He Might Have Wounded Your Soul, But He Didn’t Dim The Light In Your Heart

He might have broken your heart but just because he failed to see your worth and didn’t appreciate your loving heart, doesn’t mean he gets to take away the best parts of you. He might have wounded your soul but he did not break you.

There’s so much more to you than what he took from you. He was just a chapter in your life you will recover from. You’ll be able to move on and start anew because the flame in your heart always flickers and gives you the strength you need to heal your wounded soul.

“Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in, let your shadows fall away, step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door, you don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again”

Don’t dwell on the damage that he’s caused. Don’t give them your time or thoughts, he’s not worth your tears, he’s not worthy of you, especially of your loving nature. He no longer has power over your heart and you should find relief in knowing that you’re free to be yourself again. You can say goodbye to the bitter, haggard person his toxic love turned you into.

You can now focus on healing your heart and on patiently waiting for the love that you truly deserve. Don’t regret giving your heart away to the wrong person. Never apologize for having the ability to love passionately and intensely.

Giving your heart to him doesn’t just come with negative consequences. Whether you see it or not, you’re learning from this, you’ll become stronger because of this.

Live your life with zero regrets because that’s the only way to live. Don’t blame yourself for what went wrong. It’s not your fault. He missed out on loving you and his lack of commitment is not a reflection of you.

Right now you’re just bending but you won’t break. Allow yourself to feel the weight of your heavy heart but trust that the light in your heart will guide you and you’ll find your way out of this temporary darkness.

“A broken heart heals when we allow the healing to go as deep as the wound went”

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Freedom

I can feel my heart getting heavier. Sparks are running through my veins. Words are lining up at the tip of my tongue like an overfilled trashcan ready to spew out.

I’m fuming with anger. It’s not the kind of anger that’s holding back my tears. And it’s not the kind of anger that’s planning my revenge. It’s not the kind of anger that’s forcing me to make a decision full of regrets.

No. It’s the kind of anger making me put my foot down. And it’s the anger that’s encouraging me to leave. It’s telling me I’ve had enough. It’s the anger that’s inspiring me to make a change, to let go, to take a step toward the right direction.

This anger is forcing me to leave behind what I’ve always been too scared to let go of. It’s making me realize that I deserve better. It’s giving me the courage to say no. Reaching this degree of anger is shifting my perspective. It’s taking me from “I need this” to “I don’t care.” It’s giving me resilience to cut the chains that have been binding me.

And it took only one sentence, one moment will trigger this change of energy. It hit me like a gust of wind, knocking me off my feet. But instead of letting it defeat me, this anger is pulling me up.

It’s giving me an epiphany that has always been so obvious. It’s showing me that I’ve been showering my love on things that never deserved a second chance.

This anger isn’t taking over my being, no. It’s not reminding me to take a step back. And it’s gravitating me toward a resolution. It’s not setting my surrounds on fire. It’s cleansing my mind, giving me a chance to think straight for the first time in months.

We all have a threshold of how much pain we can handle before we demand, “it’s over.” My threshold has been reached, my strength rising above it.

And if you are fortunate enough to experience it as I have:

You will pick yourself up.
Walk away from the pain.
And never look back.

Freedom.

You Played Me Like A Joke, But In The End You Lost

I find it pretty funny that you think you have an effect on me. You had a chance with me six years ago, you decided I was too much for you even though you cheated on me twice in the two weeks we were together.

I had fallen for you in such a short amount of time because you gave me the attention I wanted. You texted me every morning, called me beautiful, and tried for over a month to get me to date you but I was hesitant due to the heartbreak I dealt with from an ex of mine before you stumbled in.

You made me believe that you could have an interest in me, you came and took me on a date during our spring break, and asked me out in person, you would sing to me, and do anything you could to get me to give you a chance.

I finally gave you one, and within a week you texted me that your ex kissed you and that it meant “nothing” because you “loved” me, I was a stupid naive teenager who believed a guy she barely knew.

After that kiss, we started to fight a lot, but I came and saw you one night with my best friend because you wanted me to come see you and try to work things out, I was laying on you playing on my phone while you were working on some homework, yet my best friend caught you telling other girls they were sexy.

She didn’t want to say anything to me about it until we left, and she even got a picture when you weren’t watching. Was I not good looking enough for you? How you could tell other girls they were sexy when I was laying on you cuddling, is beyond me. You told me I was the only girl for you.

Our fights finally got to the point that we would barely talk to each other. Anytime we talked it turned into a fight and you would tell me I was too much for you. We had a fight at one point and I told you I couldn’t do it anymore, that I was not enough for you.

You admitted that your ex kissed you yet again, and I finally had enough. We had a mutual break up but you would get mad if you found out I was talking to other guys but you could talk to other girls.

When I started to date my boyfriend you got mad and would say he wouldn’t treat me like you did, you were right, he treated me 10x better than you did. Then you started to date your girlfriend who became your fiancee.

Do you know what aggravates me the most? You are engaged and in the military and still, try to flirt with me. Get over it, we are done, have been for years. You had your chance and blew it twice. That was on you, not on me.

Let go of whatever we had like I did, and love and appreciate your fiance because she does everything for you, when you are away in the military she works and keeps busy until you come home to her. She hangs with her friends and is loyal to you, give her the same respect.

We are history, and that’s how it should be. Get over it

To The Girl Who Got Used To Having The Rug Swept Out From Under Her

If you’re reading this then you probably know the feeling I’m talking about. The rug was swept out from underneath you.

That feeling when you realize that everything you had believed in before just crumbled underneath you, the foundation you thought you built with someone suddenly disappeared, and your stomach is in knot and any excitement you had before has turned into an overwhelming disappointment?

I grew up in an environment of having the rug swept right out from underneath and worse.. falling on my ass. My relationship with my father always left me feeling as though I was trying to fill a void that he continued to widen.

You would think that after having it happen so many times growing up I would have learned my lesson; I would have learned which signs to look out for. But nope. I was blinded by love. A love that was so real that I thought it filled the void of my childhood. I thought that maybe, just maybe, not everyone would leave me on my ass.

But after a three year relationship that was the best of times and the worst of times, I can safely say.. I sit here writing this, again on – my – ass. Who knew that someone could have such little regard for another person’s feelings?

Except today I made the decision that this will be the last time that any man – family, relationship, or otherwise – will ever leave me feeling this way. I know the signs now.

The problem is that I was blinded by the same qualities that had originally hurt me. I fell in love with someone who needed attention and would do anything to get it, just like my father.

But girls need attention, too. I mean, come on… I thought that was a known fact. After three years of being in a roller coaster of a relationship, I decided to stop giving this toxicity my attention. It bit me in the ass. As soon as I wasn’t giving him my attention, he looked elsewhere.

But now I know the signs to look for. I can’t continue to jump into relationships with anyone despite how well I think I know them. Clearly the year I took ‘getting to know’ this guy was NOT enough. I’m taking things slow from here on out, no matter how long that takes. Ladies, we need to find partners who have backgrounds and goals and dreams that align with our own.

Gone are the days of sacrificing all of ourselves for someone else. It’s time we put ourselves first. No matter how long the ‘getting to know someone’ process takes, I promise it is more gratifying than being left out on your ass. Make sure that person can hate you but still respect you. Be so angry for you but still adore you. Be so hurt by you but still forgive you. And most of all, be all these things and still LOVE you.

We won’t be loved by anyone until we start sticking up for ourselves. It starts now. Bye bye, carpet!

Don’t Let Your History Of Toxic Relationships Determine Your Future

There’s a certain kind of heartbreak you experience when you realize that the person you blindly trusted for so long turns out to be someone completely different.

This is the person who doesn’t actually see you as an equal, and they don’t have your best interests at heart. They’re the ones who seem to thrive off of tearing you down and destroying your very being.

The first time it happens, you don’t really believe it. No, there’s no way that this was who you fell in love with.

So in this way, you try to keep your cracked heart together, pretending it’s still whole. You deny that the whole thing even happened. Because it simply couldn’t be. You’re not that girl, you know what you deserve.

Time passes by and you find someone who makes you forget that your heart was even broken. See, you knew this was just a one-time thing.

But then you find yourself in the same situation, the person you thought the world of one minute manages to prove you wrong – again.

Suddenly, your heart gives in and all those little broken pieces you tried—no, forced to keep together finally shatter, shards falling down into your chest, and your lungs, until you can’t breathe anymore.

For a while, you’re lost. You can’t eat. You can’t function. You can’t think because the entire conception of your relationship has so drastically shifted.

You didn’t just lose your boyfriend or girlfriend, you lost your best friend, your partner, your person.

You might stay with them for a while and simply deal with it because you remember the good things and aren’t ready to give them up. You put effort into this person, this relationship, you can’t just abandon it. So you stick with them. But eventually, they wear you down and your love becomes too frayed at the ends. You couldn’t sew them together, even if you tried.

**So you muster up all your strength and courage to finally cut them out.**

Considering all they did to you, a breakup was the least you could do to them. It’s not revenge when you’re trying to save yourself.

Afterward, you may have cried your entire soul out for weeks on end, but you knew it was the right thing, that it had to be done, because you deserve better.

At the end of the day, as much as you may have loved someone, you have to love yourself just a little bit more.

Just because it happened to you once, or twice, or three times, doesn’t mean it has to happen again.

Even if it takes you a couple of go-arounds, you’ll start to pick up on the signs and red flags. You’ll know what to steer clear of because you’re smarter than that.

Ultimately, you’ll realize that you need to become your own best friend, your own partner, your own person…

Until someday, someone else comes around. By then you’ll know what you deserve, you’ll be smarter, and he’ll be able to prove you right when you think he could be your person.