Ah, the shy person. She’s an enigma, wrapped in mystery and bacon. Yeah…that’s not you.
1. You admire private people, but you could never be one of them.
You’ll never respond to What’s wrong? with nothing. That’s impossible.
First, even if you wanted to hide and bottle up all of your feelings, you couldn’t because they leak right out of your face. Second, if you kept it all in you’d explode. You don’t enjoy exploding. In that way.
2. Instead of an open book, you’re more like a rolling film strip.
You’re really open about your life, and you like it that way. Whatever you’re doing, you’re letting everybody know because it’s just plain fun. You want to tell your story the way it’s meant to be told instead of having everybody guess.
Hey guys, here is a picture of my dinner. You can complain about it, but we both know that my feed keeps you busy when you’re on line at Target so shhhhh.
3. You can’t keep secrets to save your life.
You’ve seen this episode already. You know that whenever there’s a secret, it’s bound to come out in one way or another, so you’d rather not have too many secrets to keep. You like things out in the open.
Is it a secret? Oh no I won’t tell anyone I swear. Rachel? Hey. Stacey just said it’s a secret so don’t tell anyone I told you.
4. …And you definitely let people know how you feel.
Sometimes you can be guilty of sharing too much. Combine that with your penchant for honesty and you have TMI all over the place.
I’m doing well today. I mean, that’s not really true, I’m not feeling so great. I mean I’ve got a little gas and I’m pretty upset about The Walking Dead, but I’m going to eat my feelings later so that should make up for it.
5. You don’t understand people who just withdraw.
And you just don’t get it when somebody clams up and goes off into a clock tower to stare out the window, thinking that’ll solve the problem.
You look at this as a layover on the way to expression, but expression is what you live and breathe so you’d rather get there directly. Look, I should probably think before I say anything, but that’s just not my style so let’s just think while we’re having this fight.
6. Self-reflection is huuuuge.
This isn’t to say that you’re not reflective. You’re super reflective, because you talk to yourself in addition to everyone else. You sometimes do it out loud, but that scares people, so more often than not you write in a journal or blog to speak your truth.
Dear me, we need to talk. What the f*ck was that the other night while we were drunk. We said we wouldn’t call him again. Let’s explore possible reasons.
7. Your stories are amazing.
You don’t really censor yourself because you want the people you’re telling the story to to have all of the information including your wonderings, so your stories are really colorful.
I was going over to the coffee place and I see this guy who’s kind of walking but also throwing up every few steps. He’s wearing tons of paper plates instead of actual clothes and i’m just like, did he eat the food off of the paper plates before he threw it up?
8. Passive aggressiveness doesn’t compute.
You don’t know why people don’t just say what they mean. Nobody needs to cloak their speech in catty sarcasm in order to get through to you.
You’d really rather them just walk up and say I have a problem with you. What you did was f*cked up in my eyes.
Then naturally you’d either discuss further or apologize and that’ll be that, rather than listen to them say I love how you’ll just wear tons of mascara. Thanks.
9. You’re ultra festive.
You pretty much think that anyone who doesn’t like holidays is dead inside. Any excuse for you to hang decorations and communicate the fact that it’s time to celebrate is fair game.
What’s in the box? Why, I’m glad you asked. We’ve got Halloween decorations, Thanksgiving decorations, Christmas decorations, Hanukkah decorations, Kwanzaa decorations, New Years decorations, Groundhog Day decorations….
10. You’re sometimes mistaken for an eight year old.
The workings of your mind are so out there for everybody to witness, that it reminds them of a kid.
You don’t leave anything out, so you string things together like Hey I wonder where that place is…I’m cold…Mac and Cheese! Your hair looks very golden today as if it’s all one sentence.
11. You can’t text without emojis.
Every single text ends with a heart or smiley face. You can’t help it. Texts just do not seem complete without an expression to match. Sometimes you’ll emoji while talking on the phone.
Didn’t know emoji could be used as a verb? Now you do. If you’ve used phrases like OMG I have the biggest smile on my face right now, I’m dying laughing, I’m nodding, or single glistening tear, you have just emojied.
12. You use a lot of hand gestures.
And you use hand gestures while you talk so often that it’s amazing you haven’t learned sign language yet. You just feel like using your hands is a great way to drive the point home. I mean, how effective is a f*ck you without the hand gesture to match, Amirite?
Hey, it’s not always easy being super expressive – but everyone loves you, because they always know where you stand. You’re kind of like a puppy.