28 Signs Your Life Is A Romantic Comedy, Minus The Romance

Everything is almost right. You’re meeting cute guys in even cuter ways. Your friends are hilarious: every time you say “lol,” you are actually laughing out loud. And you’re clumsier than ever. In an adorable way, of course.

 

The problem? The cute guys never text you back. And when your hilarious friends actually give you good advice, you don’t follow it. Everything about your life is exactly like a romantic comedy, minus the romance. Because when it comes to love, your gut is at the bottom of the gutter.

 

1. You met a hot, adorable guy in an elevator the other day.

 

2. He helped you pick up your purse and didn’t even laugh at all the tampons and Tums he saw.

 

3. But he never texted you back.

 

4. Your first kiss with the last guy you were dating was in the rain.

 

5. . . . It’s too bad you were wearing a white shirt and your worst bra.

 

6. You live in a really expensive apartment. You can barely afford it, and it’s not fancy at all. It’s actually a totally run-down disaster.

 

7. And it’s always messy.

 

8. Your best friend is more quirky than you.

 

9. But her advice on love and romance? Terrible.

 

10. You’re extremely awkward, especially around attractive men. But not in a way that’s also kind of cute.

 

11. You hate this one guy so much right now.

 

12.  . . . He’s going to be your next boyfriend.

 

13. Your gay co-worker tells you what to wear.

 

14. And how to give a blow job.

 

15. But it seems that whenever you follow his advice, disaster strikes.

 

16. Like, when he told you to hum while you give a blow job, you hummed “Let It Go” from Frozen.

 

 

Effort Is All She Wants From Him

The truth is, the sexiest and most attractive thing a guy can do is give a shit. In other words, all a guy has to do to sweep us off our feet is put in the effort. Show that you care. Don’t waste our time being a douche or pretending to be something you’re not. It’s really not that hard, if you put in the effort, you’ll be the most desirable guy in our eyes.

You got it wrong if you think that playing games are going to get you far with me.

On the contrary, none of your “playing hard to get” actions and attitudes really fly. I know they’re total bullshit and don’t really add anything to your efforts to appear attractive, interesting or mature. I can see right through your bs; like when you intentionally wait to answer my texts hours later or cancel our plans last minute or how you always leave it up to me up to make plans to hang out.

Why Girls Who Go Through A Brutal Breakup End Up The Happiest

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” –Willie Nelson

You’re going through a brutal breakup and the last thing you wanna hear right now is things happen for a reason.Like, come on!. You’re emotionally exhausted, your heart is aching and so over feeling like you’ve been deprived of happiness forever.

You should trust that in a weird way, whether you think it’s possible or not right now, you’ll end up the happiest. Your heart will go through hell and back and will most definitely survive it.

Right now, you just can’t find any sense of solace in a few words of encouragement.

Because you simply cannot comprehend how life can be so unfair. You loved passionately and intensely and in the blink of an eye, it all went to shit. You can’t accept it and absolutely nothing can ease the pain that you’re feeling right this second.

The memories that you built with him are all you can think about and the thought of him kissing you again literally consumes every second of your day. He’s all you ever wanted and you can’t fathom life without him. You wonder, how am I ever going to get him off my mind? How is my body ever going feel like he made me feel?

It’s a pressure in your chest that makes it almost impossible to hold back your tears. It’s brutal.

To the Girl Fighting to Conceal Her Broken Heart, You’ll Get Through This

She wakes up in the morning, showers, does her hair, puts on her makeup (even when the tears will wash it away before work), slaps on her smile and walks out the door. She looks to the outside world as though she has everything under control. Nobody ever knows when she’s hurting because she has become so good at hiding it.

Truth is, it took 45 minutes to get out of bed this morning.

She averaged about 4 hours of sleep between checking her phone every hour, crying, thinking and wondering if things would ever change. She only put on the makeup to hide the hideous bags under her eyes from drowning her sorrows in a little bit too much Jack D last night. Her smile is about as fake as the “I’m so happy” status she posted on Facebook last night.

She’s broken inside. And why shouldn’t she be? She wasted so much time on one guy for him to be exactly what everyone says he would be. She feels stupid, naive, hurt, pissed, worthless. Every memory races through her head every time she has a minute to think. Every time he said he wanted her. Every time he promised he wouldn’t leave. Every text, every call, every little detail. Right down to how he would smile and stare at her when he thought she didn’t notice.

People Are Sharing The Dumbest Thing They Ever Did To Try To Impress A Crush, And I’m Wheezing

Sometimes, I’ll think back to certain things I did growing up and have the sudden urge to throw myself into a body of water. This feeling intensifies when I think back to my middle/high school crushes and all the dumb stuff I did to try to look “cool” in order to impress really dumb boys. It was rough. But it also happens to the best of us, the worst of us, and everyone in between.

This was perfectly exemplified by u/Mea05cer when he recently asked, “What was the dumbest thing you ever did to try and impress a girl or guy?” and the responses range from cringey to super-cringey to bordering on physically painful.

1.

Tried to backflip from a 5m diving board, there was no flipping involved, just me falling on my back into a pool from 5m high.

Sh*t didn’t feel good, don’t know which one was more bruised, my back or my ego…

JayCDee

2.

Take up smoking in high school.

Didn’t get the guy and it took 15 years for me to quit smoking. Haven’t been a smoker for almost 7 years now. Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I have done.

carm003

3.

I tried to do a backflip. I’ve never actually done a backflip before, not even on a trampoline. I actually would up just jumping backwards and hitting my head hella hard on the ground, and then I woke up and threw up a bunch. If she ever had a thing for me (which all my friends said she did), it was gone that day.

sailraccoon

4.

Not really dumb, but kinda funny to look back on now. I wasn’t good at sports, but I was fairly quick, so i joined the track team to impress a girl.

Turns out the girl wasn’t impressed by runners, but I did end up going to state in the 100m dash and placing 2nd.

Humblebee89

5.

Ran into a busy road and picked up a hedgehog. Wasn’t run over, but my hands stung for a week.

GloomyTeddy

giphy

6.

Tried to razor scooter down the steepest hill around. Crashed into the back of a funeral hearse and shattered the back window.

There was a body inside and the family was outside waiting to either go to the cemetery or take the coffin inside.

I got up, covered in blood and glass, grabbed my scooter and hobbled away to the nearest alleyway.

brokendew

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7.

Learned all the words to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back

JBEN52

8.

I was abroad in Dominican Republic, they had a dance competition on a stage, anyone could enter and it had around 200 people watching. I was about 9-10 ish and spotted a cute girl who must’ve been around 14-15…

So obviously I decided the best way to get her attention was to get up on stage and dance my heart out. Queue 3 minutes of awkward shuffling, while maintaining constant eye contact with that girl, and horrified/queasy looks from my parents.

The coordinator cut me off early by pretending the speaker stopped working. I got a pity clap ?

SlothWithATopHat

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9.

Embarrassing to admit but the only time I truly tried to impress a girl was in primary school when I was about 10 or 11, I would swear when she was near and always gave the impression I didn’t give a f**k.

Backfired though, she just ended up thinking I had anger and behavioural issues?

Same-Rules-Apply

10.

I made sure I was the one to return her jacket when she forgot it at school. When I gave it back to her the next morning she blamed me for stealing it, we didn’t end up together.

For the people that were wondering, I did not steal the jacket.

remmie538

11.

The guy I was seeing went on a vacation with his family for 2 weeks, and I had the key to his place to feed his cat.

While he was gone, I painted his bathroom. He thought it was weird, but seemed mostly ok with it.

But it worked…he married me in October.

cucumberwubwubs

12.

Ended up watching 13 reasons why because she said it was “like the best show ever”

P.S.- it wasn’t.

rezoid7

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13.

Well…When I first got with my (now husband) I wanted a change so I dyed my hair jet black. I’m very, very white. I don’t f**king know why, but I used the boxed dye on my eyebrows too!

I looked like a f**king freak and I thought it was so cute and he’d love it. What the f**k is wrong with me.

AvsMama

14.

I wore her super small hoodie a whole school day that also had a really strong perfume smell. Even got genuinely pissed at my friend when he jokingly tried to take it from me.

myaljas

15.

Got my nipple pierced. (I’m a guy.)

IJustStoleYourWaifu

16.

Watch TV shows, then pretend to like them because they did. I never want to think about Supernatural ever again.

PM-ME-YOUR-REPTILES

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17.

On a 4th of July date after going out to dinner, I took her out on the lake in a canoe to watch the fireworks. It was awesome.

Young macho me, of course, turned down her offer of help with a large canoe and I manhandled that thing like it was nothing. Put her in it while it was on the grass and continued manhandling it to show off just how strong I was.

The next morning i had to call in to work sick because my back muscles were so strained I couldn’t get out of bed. My back was sore for over a week!

The_Superfist

18.

I was a teenager and we my crush walked up next to me while I was going through my bad, the sun was in my eyes and I had a crazy thought that having the sun in my eyes would make me look beautiful. He walked away after two seconds and I had a black spot in my eye for two days.

Erodoriel

19.

I was about 14 and met this dime who was vegan. She was cool and punk and did I mention she was a dime? Anyway when she told me she was vegan I told her I used to be but now I’m bulimic. Needless to say I wasn’t sure what being bulimic meant at the time.

Emrhyss

20.

I was about 12 years old and riding my bike home from high school when I saw a pack of pretty girls ahead of me, like 5 years older. This stretch of road meant I had to ride on the pavement, so I thought I’d be cool and overtake them by dropping down into the road and then jumping back up the curb once I passed them.

Well, I almost died that day. My determination to impress the girls overtook the part of my brain that deals with logic and I severely miscalculated the jump. I skidded against the curb and it bucked me out in to the middle of the road into oncoming traffic. I scrambled to get back onto the pavement and my bike flew clean off the floor and I was propelled into a bush.

Goal achieved: I overtook the girls. And they did come over to help and called me cute when I started crying, so I took it as a win. Haven’t been on a bike since, though.

snowdropwrites

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21.

i lied and said i had experience in journalism (because i didn’t think we’d have anything except a brief encounter) when i’d actually only taken one class in college. our first date he took me with to report on a local clash between police and citizens and i got tear gassed and robbed.

throwwawwayy66

22.

I vaguely remember banging my head against a school desk to show my tolerance to pain

zachwolfgang14

23.

When I was 14, I read the entire Twilight series that she lent me, then she started dating someone else shortly after ;_;

DudeInTheOrange

24.

I tried to do a flying sidekick on this upright punching bag, but my pants were too tight, so I just fell and ripped my pants at the same time. The girls we were with laughed, and then I got a cab home.

robertbreadford

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25.

Got a tattoo to impress a girl in my psych class. It did nothing and now I have a piece of sh*t piece by a guy named Philly Steve on my leg forever. Call me if you see this, Ashley.

steadmanthewhale

19 Boyfriends Who Could Not Have Failed Harder In 2018

No relationship is perfect. Everyone has their ups and downs, but sometimes the downs are very one-sided. For instance, maybe your boyfriend is continuously failing like all of these hilarious guys did in 2018. But hey, at least he’s trying, right?

1. This boyfriend who clearly got his penguins mixed up.

Reddit

2. This boyfriend who’s just a little confused about natural light.

@Colleen_Wright

3. This guy trying his best to cut up an avocado.

Reddit

4. This boyfriend who attempted to draw on his girlfriend’s eyebrows.

@m4thod2mymadnes

5. This boyfriend who was told to hang up the wet laundry.

Reddit

6. This guy who was definitely trying a little too hard.

Reddit

7. This boyfriend who was supposed to start a bath for his gf.

Reddit

8. A guy who’s way too aggressive with paper towels.

Imgur

9. This boyfriend who should probably just throw the “loufa” away.

@btozer

10. This guy who was supposed to bring his girlfriend icecream in a bowl.

@musikat54

Why You’ll Regret Leaving The Girl Who Loved You With All Of Her Heart

“When I was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. But there’s one thing that he said that was pure genius …he said if you’re ever with a girl that’s too good for you, marry her.” – Valentine’s Day

She was willing to give you all of herself…

Some girls have this ability to love deeply. They love no matter what has happened in their past. They trust their heart and follow it fearlessly.

Somewhere the way, it led her to you. She was the girl willing to do just about anything for you… even when you didn’t ask.

She never held back telling you what she was thinking and feeling. Through actions, time and time again she showed it.

But you broke her.

You couldn’t reciprocate the kind of love she was offering. Maybe you weren’t mature enough. Maybe you were too selfish.

Maybe the timing was off between you two. Finding “the one” at a young age has a way of fucking up even the most normal guy.

But you broke her heart. And even after you did that, she was still kind and still loved you.

She was willing to love you deeply…

She probably could have loved you the rest of her life. And forever between you two, probably crossed her mind. She probably told you about it fearlessly, because love wasn’t something she ever held back.

She might have lived in a world all her own, with these ideas of how love is supposed to be, but she believed love more than anyone you ever met.

You never had to question how she felt about you, but she was always left wondering were her feelings reciprocated.

But you didn’t realize how rare her love was.

You were too young to realize how rare she was. It wasn’t until you met other girls who left you with a void, you began to put it together… you messed up. Even at their best, others who loved you, couldn’t compare to the depth that she did.

She believed in you…

When it seemed no one else believed in you, it was like she had this ability to see into your soul.

She understood you more than you understood yourself sometimes. More than that, she believed in the person you were and believed in the potential of what you could be, even when you didn’t see it yet.

She never questioned whether you guys could make it.

But you believed you could find better.

Maybe, she had a flaw you couldn’t shake. Maybe, you were lying to yourself it couldn’t work. Despite whatever insecurities you had about you two, she never did.

It’s only natural to want to explore other options. You wanted to see what was out there.

When you did…all you could do was look back, at what you left behind.

She thought you were perfect…

Despite the many flaws that you even spelled out to her, she still looked at you like you were her world. Because you were and to hear you were completely perfect.

But it wasn’t until you left, you realized she was.

In time you realized your greatest flaw was in your lack of judgment. You were blind to what was right in front of you. Just as she wouldn’t have changed a thing about you, changing anything about her would make her imperfect.

You realized her only flaw would be settling for you in the first place. You knew she deserved better.

She learned to love again.

Despite being let down by you, you had to watch her love again. You knew the type of woman she was.

You knew how gentle, loving and caring she would be, towards this new person. You knew she’d treat him just as she treated you, only he wouldn’t make the same mistake.

And only then you realized what you lost.

In that realization, you knew you made the biggest mistake of your life.

So if you ever want to live the rest of your life with regret, let go of the one person who loves you more.

When you do that, what if’ will haunt you until the day you die.

Things To Remind Yourself After Losing The Love Of Your Life

The pain of losing the love of your life is more than just emotional: it takes over your mind, your body, your muscles. It consumes you; it eats you. It shatters you to your core, and it breaks your bones and your heart like you never knew was actually humanly possible.

You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t function – even blinking is too much work. This insurmountable, unrecoverable torture that you have been forced to live through has left you limp on the ground, completely relinquishing all power or will to stay alive.

You want to run or sleep for the rest of time, or simply just stop breathing, but doing any of these will cause you to miss an entire day of grieving – an entire day of growth. Because as crazy as it sounds: every single day that you fight is a day that you become stronger.

1. Don’t ask yourself why.

The question why is toxic, and it will leave you feeling unfulfilled. Instead, focus on the positive: be thankful for things. How could you be thankful for this stabbing, aching, the fire inside your heart? Find something. Anything.

Be thankful for the time you were given together, be thankful for your health, or for flowers, or the color purple, or fried chicken. Eventually, you will be thankful for this tragedy, as it will become a piece of you – a piece of your long journey.

2. Don’t put yourself in a box.

Allow your process to just be: follow it, flow with it, trust it. Your heartbreak is your own, no one else’s, and you are the only person experiencing it. There are no time restrictions, rules, or schedules that you should be following.

There will come a day – and it will be sooner than you think it’s coming – where the majority of the day was good, and the minority was bad. And even if that ratio is just a 51:49 at first, know that there will be more and more days where your heart begins to mend its pieces back together.

3. And soon, the good memories will flood the painful ones.

Instead of feeling the longing, desperate-to-have-back kind of loss that you felt at first, you will find yourself thinking of your memory in a beautiful light.

I’m not quite sure, myself if the pain ever gets any easier – it just becomes different. It’s not like the hole in your heart will one day be filled again, but you will begin to live again. You’ll learn how to live and how to love again with your new heart – with the new shape, and weight of it.

4. As a fighter, your battle wounds will make you, you.

I know that my wounds have done that for me. And as horrible as it is: you and I, we are the same. We are survivors. And we hold an unfortunate beauty that not everyone has; one that we didn’t ask for but will learn to wear with strength.

We’ll find meaning in meaningless things, and beauty in nothingness. We’ll see people; we’ll feel them in ways that we never did before. Somewhere between what we survived, and what we are becoming, we will learn to live again.

And know this: our loved ones are free now. And we, too, will figure out how to be.

You Were My Everything, Now I Don’t Know How To Live Without You

The actual breakup was a whirlwind of emotions. It was confusing, shocking and honestly, didn’t process right away. When I heard those four awful words strung together with so much apathy that I just sort of went numb. “We should break up” was the last thing I heard and from that moment on, I was just going through the motions. It didn’t hit me until way after that moment that it hit me, how do I live without you?

Waking up in the morning, I roll over to grab my phone to check for that usual “good morning” text but instead, I find an empty screen. My heart drops into my chest and that dreaded conversation starts playing on a loop in my mind.

I walk into the kitchen and pour only one cup of coffee instead of two. I start missing the little things, being told I was beautiful before I put on any makeup, that quick kiss before I left to start my day and knowing that someone was always waiting for me when my day ended.

Most of all, I miss what I used to be. The memory isn’t what keeps my heart heavy; it’s all the mental images that come flooding over me all at once. It’s walking past a place that I created so many memories together. I catch tears slowly slipping from my eyes.

I’m left feeling alone, not wanting to bother my friends with my troubles but needing an outlet to let it all go.

It’s realizing that I have to start completely over, with no idea how to do it. And what kills me the most is people who tell me I’ve been sad for ‘too long’ and I just have to ‘get back out there.’ They were not there when we cuddled on the couch watching TV, or for dinner dates, selfies, or the first time he said: “I love you.”

They may have been through their own heartbreak but they don’t exactly know how I’m feeling, so I won’t downplay how hurt I am.

The truth is, it hurts because it was real.

It hurts because there were real feelings involved. The next bit of truth is eventually it will get better.

When he left he took a little piece of that away with him. There are going to be tears, there will be lots of them. I know I’ll look for him when I’m out and about even though I know I shouldn’t, I may even pick up a phone knowing that it’s a bad idea. It’s all part of the process.

The pain is overwhelming because my heart didn’t just belong to me, it belonged to him as well.

I will get over this relationship, but it’ll be in my own way, until I feel okay because if I don’t allow myself to feel okay, then I’m just going to hurt myself in the long run.

The breakup goes by quickly, but the pain will take a while to heal. So in the meantime, I’ll be taking it one day at a time.

To see more of Audi’s work check out her facebook page.

11 People Who Totally Got Busted Cheating In 2018

Cheaters can only get away with their duplicitous behavior for so long; it always catches up to them. Google “cheaters always get caught” and check out the number of quotes attesting to this fact. And it’s becoming more and more true with each passing day. Technology has made it nearly impossible to be unfaithful in a relationship.

In fact, the most insane public cheating stories of the year were all made possible because of technology. As author Arthur C. Clarke once said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is equivalent to magic.” I’d call getting out of a toxic relationship with a lying, cheating partner as quickly as possible pretty magical, wouldn’t you?

1. The viral tweet:

Over the summer, Twitter user @alexxiisj was standing in line at a taco stand when she overheard a guy bragging to his friend about how he was cheating on his girlfriend, a Dallas nursing student named Hannah.

The tweet quickly went viral and, against all odds, the correct Hannah caught wind of what happened and did what needed to be done.

2. The Jimmy John’s delivery guy:

23-year-old Kayla Speer of West Burlington, Iowa, found out her boyfriend was cheating on her after she ordered him a Jimmy John’s sandwich.

She let the delivery driver know that she wouldn’t be present, as she lived three hours away, and asked whether it was alright for her boyfriend to sign for the sandwich himself.

Though he didn’t initially respond when she let him know about the delivery, her boyfriend eventually responded by thanking her. Nothing out of the ordinary…until the Jimmy John’s delivery driver called Kayla.

The driver answered some questions that confirmed the man in question was indeed Kayla’s boyfriend. “[The driver] was like, ‘Honestly, it was so awkward I just wanted to get out of there, so I just gave him the sandwich and left,” she said.

Alls well that ends well, though. Jimmy John’s reached out to Kayla after her tweet went viral and offered to cater a “breakup party.”

3. The Instagram picture:

Yulia Agranovych found out her husband was cheating on her after seeing the view from her own bedroom window on a random woman’s Instagram. Scrolling further down the woman’s Instagram, she found a selfie the woman had taken with Yulia’s husband Nazar Grynko captioned “Beautiful view from my husband’s bedroom.”

There were a ton of pictures of the two together on the woman’s Instagram page, but Nazar denied everything. He eventually admitted that he had been cheating, though maintained he’d never been “mentally unfaithful” because he had “told every girl he was married” (yes, there was more than one).

On the bright side, Yulia’s story inspired many others to leave their scumbag partners. “Many women supported me, posting that they were proud of my bravery, that I openly discussed it with irony and sarcasm, so now they are ready to get rid of their unfaithful men too,” she said.

And as for Vlada Abramovich, the woman Nazar had been cheating on Yulia with? She was utterly unapologetic, writing “She is his wife, not mine, what’s the problem? Is he just a vegetable without free will? Don’t make me laugh.” She’s got a point.

5. The Google Street View capture:

A man caught his wife cheating while navigating the street view function on Google Maps. According to Australian outlet News.com.au, he was using the app to check out vacation destinations in Peru when he spotted a woman wearing an eerily familiar outfit.

Scrolling through the Bridge of Sighs in Barranco, Peru, he saw the woman sitting on a bench, stroking a man’s hair as he reclines in her lap. Despite both their faces being blurred—as is customary when Google street view captures a person—he recognized his wife’s clothes and physical characteristics immediately.

Peruvian newspaper, La Cronica, reported that the wife admitted to cheating, and the couple recently divorced.

6. The suitcase:

A woman named Jackie got caught cheating through a series of sexy texts. Jackie went on a business trip to Atlanta. Alone, or so her boyfriend thought. When she got to her hotel room, she sent her boyfriend a sext to show him just how much she missed him.

Everything seemed to be going fine until Jackie’s boyfriend spotted an unfamiliar striped suitcase in the corner of her sext.

When she realized her mistake, Jackie sent a more naked photo, which she captioned “LOL.”

Jackie gave her boyfriend her hotel room number as evidence. But instead of asking the hotel concierge to connect him to room 1422, Jackie’s boyfriend asked what room she was staying in. When her name didn’t come up, he instead asked for her boss, Tom.

Serves Jackie right for sending her boyfriend nudes while cheating on him with her boss in a different city.

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