I talk a lot about perfection in my writing, and how there is no such thing as perfection. Lately, I was thinking that maybe there is such thing as perfection… but maybe it just isn’t what people expect it to be. We grow up learning that perfection in a relationship is basically never arguing, never getting jealous, never getting on each other’s nerves. I’m not sure how this interpretation of perfect love came to be, but maybe perfect love is the complete opposite.
I am not society’s vision of a perfect woman in any way, shape, or form. Therefore if you fall in love with me, and you marry me please don’t expect that things are going to be this unrealistic perception of love, that everyone claims exists. All of those things I listed above that wouldn’t be qualified as “perfect” love, are things that you can expect will happen if you marry me.
I am clingy. I am jealous. And you are going to drive me nuts every once, and awhile.
I don’t doubt for a second that some of my qualities will also drive you nuts. In one of the other articles I wrote, (“I Know There’s A Girl Out There”) I said that I wanted to see girls comfortable to be who they are. I wrote that “I wanted to see girls with pimples, freckles, and scars”… This is my ideal image of what perfect love would look like. It would look real. It wouldn’t be warped and changed to suit what perfect looks like to everyone else.
I think Taylor Swift puts my thoughts into clear, concise lyrics, “Our song is a slamming screen door, sneaking out late tapping on your window,”. These lyrics sum up that all love is different, and perfect in its own way. If this scares you… if being a real human being and arguing, and not getting along 100% of the time scares you, then you should probably walk away now. This isn’t a happily ever after fairy tale you read when you were a kid. This is life, and as you may or may not have realized at this point in your life.. it is more like a teeter-totter. You can expect feelings to come balanced but sometimes’s more this, than that. You cannot be happy all of the time.
You might be thinking “Wow, this sounds really shitty”, and I can honestly see how some people might view it that way. After-all we did grow up watching Cinderella, Beauty & The Beast, and other fairy tale movies portraying how all’s well and ends well. After-all we did grow up thinking that a little blemish on our face was disgusting, or that a little extra body weight was abnormal. Am I right? Multiple Psychology tests have proven this vision of “perfect love” to be completely unrealistic, and perhaps even unhealthy. To broaden your spectrum of view on “real love”, check this out: http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/according-psychologists-couples-argue-love/
Will we be happy? Absolutely.
Just because it won’t be this unrealistic perception of “real love”, does not mean we won’t be happy. I expect you to respect me, and my feelings enough to be honest with me, and if that means you have to tell me I’m acting like an ass hole then fine – thank you. Thank you for being honest with me.
Will it be easy? No.
I am a blunt person. Sometimes words come out of my mouth so fast that it is hard to stop them. I am clingy but I also like my “me” time. Basically, you can take your vision of a “perfect” woman and you can probably say that I am the total opposite. I talk a lot, I care too much, I will tell you not to get flowers for me on Valentine’s Day and then be upset when I actually don’t get them. I am a real menstruating woman, a real person, with real “imperfections” (if you want to call them that).
I can’t promise you that I will be an unrealistic perception of perfect, I can’t promise you that I will be an unrealistic perception of a woman. I can promise you that what we will have will be something we will have to work on, something that we will have to build, and something that will grow. I can promise you that after everything… after the fights, and the differences of opinion, and me annoying the fuck out of you.. that I will love you as a real man. I don’t expect you to be Prince Charming. But I do expect your respect, and appreciation, and most of all your love in return.
If that is too much for you… if that scares you, then I’m sorry but it just won’t work.
