Screw You, Getting Attached To A Guy Doesn’t Make Me Weak

So, you meet a guy that you’re really vibing with. Modern dating websites and magazine articles will tell you that it’s all downhill from here. The minute that you feel something that may, down the line, lead to love—run for the hills.

For some reason in today’s society, the girl who feels too much, too soon into a relationship is the one who is prone to getting her heart shattered. Everyone will tell you that getting attached to someone—investing your time and efforts towards another person—will ultimately scare the said person away. They’ll think you want too much, too soon. They’ll stop calling, they’ll stop texting, the dates will become more infrequent in time before they completely stop altogether. So, if this is the solid truth in society—what’s a girl to really do when she feels something for someone? Act heartless and emotionally detached? Talk herself out of something that makes her feel alive?

Absolutely not.

Contrary to what many may tell you, becoming attached to someone is the furthest thing from weak. In fact, it means that you’re a pretty strong person – here’s why:

When you begin to invest your time and emotions into someone, it’s a pretty big step in life. I’m a firm believer that giving someone your time is more important than giving them anything else. The only thing we truly do have control over in our own lives is how we choose to spend our time. With life always being chaotic and hectic as we get older—working, seeing our families, seeing our friends, school, exams, going to the gym, watching our shows—it seems to happen that we have less and less free time available. When you decided to use those slivers of time you have with another person, it’s a big deal.

The more you invest your time in them, the more you’ll inevitably invest yourself and your emotions in them as well. When we fall in love with someone, it’s a universal truth that we begin to give ourselves to them – whether we mean to, or not. We start to include them as part of our lives, make them a priority in our decisions, our plans – our long-term future.

This moment, when we begin to let somebody into our world, takes the most strength. You’re opening up your safe-zone—your world—to somebody and trusting them not to break anything. You’re letting them into your heart and giving them the chance to hurt you—while trusting them not to.

Personally, I believe that takes more balls than it does to just walk away from someone you have potential with. If anything, society has it all wrong. Walking away from someone who can very well turn out to be one of the best things to ever happen to you in fear of being hurt is the ultimate definition of weak.

Sometimes in life, you have to take risks—blindly jump into the open abyss, unsure if whether you’ll fall or fly. Only the coward will watch from the sidelines, fearfully wondering “what if.” It takes a strong person to put themselves out there, not watching life happen but actually making it happen.

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To My Love: Whatever You’re Going Through, We Can Face It Together

“Well hold on, my darling. This mess was yours. Now your mess is mine.”

-Vance Joy 

I need you to understand something. When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with ALL of you.

I fell in love with your strength and your heart. I fell in love with your quirks and your stories. I fell in love with every part of you, the good and the bad.

Mostly, I fell in love with creating a life with you. 

And I know that this life is not going to be without struggles.

But, that doesn’t scare me. Because from now on, it’s always going to be you and me. We are a team now. When you’re hurting, I’m hurting.

I know that you have baggage, and you’ve grown incredibly weary from the weight of it. It’s okay. Let me help you unpack your sadness and your pain.

You can tell me your thoughts, your fears, your dreams. I will keep them all safe.

I will help you get through whatever trials you’re going through.

I know you’re not used to that because last time you opened up your heart to someone, they let you down. 

And, I know that there will be times that I let you down too.

But, what I can promise you, is that we can make it through anything if we just hold on to each other.

I’m never going to give up on you. 

And, I know when the time comes, you won’t give up on me either. Because relationships aren’t about keeping score. They aren’t always 50/50 give and take because life doesn’t work that way.

So, there are times when you need to let me help you. Let me be there for you.

And have enough faith in me to know that your demons don’t scare me. I will battle them with you.

This life hasn’t always been easy, and this love won’t be either.

But no matter what we face, I will still choose you. I will always choose you. I will choose to see the good in you and have faith in us even when things get hard.

So, it’s not just your chaos. It’s not just your mess. Because it’s our mess. And it’s choosing each other every day in spite of the mess.

It’s our love story, and it is worth it. We are worth it.

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To the Girl Who is Still Falling for Manipulative Douchelords

This is in no way based on the author.

The first meeting was electric, his confidence startled you and for once, the conversation was actually engaging. From experience, you know to tread with caution and listen for a while before passing further judgment.

However, you are just a human and you’ve been waiting to feel like this for a long time.

So, you let into the blissful sensation of being so enchanted by another person. Letting go of your fears, you jump in, right there, present and vulnerable. He says all the things you want to hear:
“You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you.” 
“All the other girls have been so boring compared to you.”
“I am not usually this honest.”
“Stop talking, you are making me want to marry you.” 

I won’t continue here. I am sure you have your own colorful list.

The rest of the night is a blurry dance of skinny dipping, drinks, him feeding you chips in bed, and some of the best sex you’ve had in a while. Every inch of you is excited to have experienced such magic. There is so much to explore. Last night, you were making plans for all the cool things you will do together. “You are like me,” he said, “and yet so different. We can teach each other so many things.”
Yes… many things.

He taught me this: stay the hell away.

How does the story continue?
Of course, the next morning. He doesn’t even wake up to have breakfast together, let alone walk you out the front door. I’m not even sure he managed a “have a good day.” It’s like Aladdin takes you on the magic carpet ride and the next morning is like… “Who are you again?”
“Last night you were singing my name, dammit!”

What I don’t understand is why I need to learn these lessons over and again.

I thought I had gotten good at telling these bad apples apart. Apparently, I had to go through the class again. The next day, I was told that I was “too intense” and that “we should be friends.” Of course, he won’t be your friend. And if you try and hang around, he will be the worst friend you’ve ever had.

My only pointer here is: check that you are falling in love with someone who already loves themself.

Because there is no amount of love and recognition you can pour into someone to make them see clearly. They know how to go through the motions very well; they can create the illusion of what love should look like. But as soon as they come close to feeling it, they run away.
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