Tag: funny

7 Signs You’re the Accidental Trail Blazer

You never asked for it, you certainly didn’t search for it, but somehow you are the unintentional Pied Piper of the millennial world.

Starting trends left and right, always there with the freshest beats and coolest ideas, but you’re not doing it for the recognition, the fame, or the glory. You’re just doing you, and the world apparently loves you for it:

1. You’re fashionable, but you have no idea how.

You haven’t read up on the latest trends; you have no idea what’s going down in fashion week; most of your clothes have been found, borrowed, lent and donated; but, despite this, you leave the house looking like one fly motherf*cker on the goddamn reg’.

You’re the idiot savant of the sidewalk runway, and that’s just dandy with you.

 

2. You keep stumbling into the next big noise.

In no way are you the authority on new music. You know way more people out there that take that sh*t seriously and are d*mn good at finding the slickest new beats. You’re a casual amateur at best.

You do seem to keep ahead of the curve through, and through a combination of blind luck and stealing suggestions from yo’ buddies you’ve curated a Spotify playlist that can send shivering eargasms down the spine of any would-be listener.

 

3. You’re not taking risks, you’re just keeping things fresh.

You’re not attending a bondage seminar ‘cos you’re that into the whips and chains things, it’s just seems like a fun way to spend an afternoon. A one-way plane ticket to Guatemala isn’t so you can “discover yourself,” it’s ‘cos the beaches looked pretty.

You didn’t quit your job ‘cos you got a better one, you just thought you needed to mix it up a little. You don’t see the risks ‘cos in your mind risks are just a different way of doin’ things.

 

4. You’ll give anything a one-time shot.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you tried it” should be a tattoo in an intimate area of your body (if it’s not already). You’ll give anything a go, ‘cos how do you know you don’t like something if you haven’t the balls to give it a shot?

The downside is you’ve ended up in some questionable situations, however, you still think the benefits outweigh the occasional sketchy situation. Then again those grandmas at Bridge Club were mean.

 

5. You’re not afraid of getting it wrong.

Hey, it doesn’t always work out, and at some point you may find yourself on a rainy street corner in a city you can’t stand, ‘cos you thought it’d be fun to do a cross-country greyhound road trip.

Sometimes things fuck up, sometimes it’s not your cup o’ tea and sometimes there just wasn’t the right vibe, but that’s all good, it’s not always going to be a home run. You go home, you dust yourself off and you don’t sweat it, cos there’s plenty of other adventures out there that you’re gonna love.

 

6. You just don’t get embarrassed.

You’re not afraid of looking like a bit of a tit, ‘cos you’re only a goddamn fool if you feel like one. Because of this “whatever” attitude you can actually pull off a lot of shit most can’t rock cos’ you own it.

Bra on the outside, why not? Stiletto flip-flops sound like fun. Face paint for work; you’ll rock the boardroom with your lion face. And now you can see exactly how these ridiculous trends start.

 

7. You’re not traditionally popular.

You were never one of the cool kids at school, the cheerleaders kinda ganged up on you and you felt way more comfortable hanging out with the weirdo’s, drop outs, nerds, and stoners.

To be honest, you’ve been just fine doing it on your own and have taken on life lone-wolf style. You’re an individual, and no one has ever let you forget it, so you wear that shit like a badge of honor ‘cos it lets you be you. Which is the best “you” you can possibly be.

19 Things That Only People Who Are Forever Scatterbrained Can Relate To

 

Are you the type of person who literally forgets their own name half the time, or runs into corners, (corners are the devil!) doors, and walls because you’re distracted and not paying attention? Then you’ll totally relate to these scatterbrained 19 things. Like.

1. You lose EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. Your keys, your mind, your dignity. You’d lose your own head if it wasn’t attached.

2. And you find what you were looking for, in the most random places. Like your keys, in the fridge, for the third time this month…

3. Your room is messy AF and disorganized. Yes, it looks like a tornado struck your room, but hello, it’s called organized chaos. You know exactly where everything is. For the most part…

4. …Except when you set your phone down to do something, and then lose it. You end up spending 20 minutes retracing your steps, getting frustrated, and finally asking your roommate to call it.

5. Walking into a room, just to forget why or what you came in there to get. It’ll drive you nuts until you remember. 3 hours later….

6. Walking into work with your clothes on backwards…Or inside out. It’s sad to say but it happens to you at least once a month .

7. Being in a whole ass conversation with someone, and not knowing what they said… So you just smile and nod, because everything they said went through one ear and out the other.

8. You have 47 open tabs on your browser. Because let’s be honest, you started looking up how to change your air filter, and 2 hours later, you’re taking a quiz to find out what kind of tree you are.

9. You get asked if you’re mad at so and so because you haven’t opened their snapchat/text/FB message. You’re not mad at anyone! You just get distracted and sometimes it takes 14 business days to respond back. Opps.

10. ‘To Do’ lists are scattered around everywhere. And most of them are only halfway crossed off because either you got bored, or started multitasking. You’ll eventually loop back around and finish the task. Maybe.

11. Making unnecessary trips. You did your mental checklist, you swear. Phone. Check. Keys. Check. ID…Nope.

12. Being on time is a struggle. You have the best intentions, but something always happens and slows you down. Like when you have to turn around to get your ID. Or whatever else you forgot. And now you’re 45 mins late to work. Opps again.

13. You started your laundry, (or some other small task) but then got sidetracked. Now you’re tired and don’t feel like folding and putting it away, so you just cuddle with the pile.

14. You hate the word “Ditsy”. Like you get it, you’re a little slow at times, you can’t help your mind is already going 1000 miles a minute. That doesn’t make you stupid, thank you very much.

15. Remembering something you forgot weeks ago at the most inconvenient times. Like when you wake from a dead sleep, because you remembered you didn’t give table 121 their extra ranch they asked for.

16. Staying on task can be difficult. Because you are also trying to do another million other things, and you totally forgot about finishing a project for your boss. Opps…..

17. Opps is DEFINITELY part of your vocabulary. You’re constantly apologizing for something you’ve done, said, forgot, etc.

18. You sometimes feel like a burden. You know how hard it is to keep up with you, and you feel like you exhaust others. You don’t mean to though.

19. At the end of the day, you are fucking awesome. And you’re hella hilarious. Yeah you might be entertainment value, but if you can’t even laugh at yourself, or laugh off the stupid shit you do or happens to you, then how is someone else going to begin to apperciate the quirky person that you are?

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About The Author

Kayla Leanne Goss. Just a 30 year old small town girl, trying to navigate this rollercoaster we call life, writing about relatable shit that WE ALL go through and struggle with daily.

To see more of my articles, visit my FACEBOOK PAGE 

Hilarious Mom Who Takes Son’s ‘Monthly Milestone’ Photos Using Pizza Pies Is Parenting Goals

If you are friends with people on Facebook who have recently had children, you know that the first year of a child’s life is filled with photos, photos, and more photos. New parents are obsessed with documenting every moment of the first year—including monthly photos to showcase how much their baby has grown month-to-month. Most parents will try to use cute, creative, and adorable blocks, chairs, signs, and other overpriced items that reveal how many months old their baby is.  But, one mom has found a more creative, original, and fantastic way to document the first year of her daughter’s life and its iconic.

Photographer Dani Leigh and her mom wanted to come up with an original way to document her son, Lorenzo’s, first year on this beautiful Earth. When brainstorming, they decided they may as well eat while doing it. And, after that, a beautiful creation was born. Leigh told BoredPanda:

“I knew what I wanted it to look like in my head and while we do have a favorite pizza, I knew we would have to vary it month by month. We really just went down the menu and got whatever our 3-year-old (Lorenzo’s brother,  Charlie) would be interested in. We did allow ourselves to get our favorite white pizza three times throughout the project. It did help us branch out though and try a few pizzas we wouldn’t have probably gotten – like pesto and shrimp pizza. And we found that the BBQ Chicken pizza can now be added into our normal rotation – so good! All of the pizzas came from our favorite local place, il Forno.”

The finished product? Obviously, an epic display of adorable baby photos and delicious pizza.

Leigh added that if you’re interested in doing this for your own baby, there’s one big thing you’ll need.

 “If you are going to do pizza for your monthly photos, invest in a good pizza cutter because truly no pizza place slices their pizza into 12 slices.”

She also added:

“And invest in family photography because soon enough all your kiddos will be bigger than a pizza box.”

You can see more of Dani Leigh’s work on her social media accounts and her website, here.

danileighphotography.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

h/t: BoredPanda.

Professor Keeps A Running List Of New Slang Words He Learns From Students And It Slaps

As a teacher, I always learn a lot from my students. Sometimes, I learn things I definitely could have gone the rest of my life without knowing, but, other times, I learn a whole lot. One of the biggest lessons I get every day in the classroom is vocabulary. While I like to think of myself as a “young, relatable” teacher, there are tons of slang words that I have no idea about—even if I am only 26-years-old.

It seems that I’m not the only educator who thinks this way. Recently, Twitter user @mewtaliv2 shared photos of a running list their Professor keeps of new slang words he learns from their students.

https://twitter.com/mewtailv2/status/1123292185582084096

Some of these words—Iconic.

Periodt, pull up, come thru—honestly, truly, iconic.

Twitter

I high key appreciate this Professor’s dedication to expanding his vernacular.

Twitter

This entire list slaps.

Twitter

The Twitter user ended up sharing the entire PDF list so we can see all of the epic words present. I truly am in awe.

I’ve never been more proud to work in the field of education than I am right now.

h/t: Twitter

College Student Gets An ‘A’ After Turning In Brilliant One-Sentence Movie ‘Essay’

If you’re a college student, you know that the end of the semester is upon us all—which means one thing and one thing only: finals week. Everything comes at us at one time and before we know it, we have 50+ pages worth of essays to write. How are we going to get it done?

Apparently, we should take notes from this one college student who was recently assigned an essay and, decided to turn in a one-sentence essay as her final. And, guess what? She got an ‘A.’

College student Allison Garret was recently assigned a movie review essay by her professor.

Instead of spending hours working on it, Allison decided to focus on a simple yet clever response from one of her favorite films.

@allisonbgarrett

Her essay reads:

“Fight Club
‘The first rule of fight club is: you do not talk about fight club.’
That’s it. That’s the essay”

She proudly submitted it to her professor.

@allisonbgarrett

In the comments of her submission, Allison writes:

“I saw an opportunity and I took it. I cannot say that I am sorry because that would be a lie. Am I proud? Yes.”

Fortunately, her professor had a great sense of humor and awarded the witty student an ‘A.’

The professor wrote back:

“I struggled over this grade for a long time. I finally decided you get a grade for a laugh and how relevant your review is for this particular movie.

Let me warn you: Do NOT try this kind of thing with other professors; they may not have my sense of humor.”

Allison later shared her success story on Twitter.

After her initial tweet went viral, garnering over 165K likes, the college student shared an important cause with commenters.

Allison used her newfound internet fame to shed light on her friend’s mom who is fighting a rare form of cancer. She also linked to the family’s GoFundMe where people can donate to the cause.

Needless to say, Twitter was obsessed with the clever essay.

She does have a point, after all.

h/t: Twitter, Bored Panda

Adele Addresses Her Divorce From Her Husband On Social Media With The Most Appropriate Meme

Singer Adele—queen of the heartbreak songs—has recently announced she and her husband are getting a divorce. After dating for eight years and being married for three, she and Simon Konecki, are going their separate ways.

While the couple has not issued a public statement on the divorce and explain why, a source told Elle that it has to do with her work schedule.

“They had a lot in common early on, but eventually they just grew apart. She became a bigger and bigger star, and he was okay [with] being in the background, but as she got bigger and had massive tours and intense schedules, they just grew apart.”

Us Weekly

Many fans are expected Adele to now drop the most gutwrenching album of all time—one that every woman could use in their life.

And, while she has not dropped any new music just yet—Adele responded to the public news of her divorce with the most appropriate meme I’ve ever seen on social media. Shared on Instagram, the singer posted a side-by-side of herself, comparing her emotional state at this given time.

People online were floored and absolutely in love with Adele meme-ing herself during this trying time in her life.

https://twitter.com/gracexj_/status/1123659657921400838

https://twitter.com/ebearcook/status/1123766660354183168

https://twitter.com/MozaAlThani8/status/1123656389841129472

I guess we stan the latest meme queen—and, cannot wait for that breakup album to bump.

 

Woman Hands Out Pamphlets To Her Family Answering All Of Their Obnoxious Questions About Her Dating Life

If you have a family and you go on dates, you know that telling your family you’re going on a date means you’ll be bombarded with endless questions about every intimate detail they can possibly think of. How do you combat this? Apparently, make a pamphlet that answers every single question before they get the change to even ask them.

Twitter user Mary Beth Barone shared the pamphlet she provided to her family while on vacation in Florida.

Twitter

Barone told BuzzFeed that she met a guy in Florida at a wedding a few weeks before going on vacation with her family. She planned to meet him in Miami for a date, but, was unsure how to approach her entire family about leaving to go on a date—all 30 people. So, instead of fielding all of their questions, Barone made a pamphlet that answered everything they would most likely ask her about her date.

Twitter

The pamphlet started with a: “Please remain calm,” with a beautiful, calming ocean to make sure they do stay calm.

Twitter

The questions went from “who is this guy,” to “where did you meet him,” to “what’s the parking situation,” and so on. Barone answered probably every question her parents/extended family would ask.

Twitter

Barone told BuzzFeed that her family is truly nosy and invasive—but, she is to them, too. In fact, when she gave them the pamphlets, they loved it.

“I know that all their questions come from a place of love and caring, and I was glad I could ease any worries by overcommunicating.”

And, as it turns out, the date went super well. Unfortunately, the guy ghosted her afew weeks later—because, you know, men are dicks.

However, people online were truly in love with the idea to make a pamphlet to field super invasive and annoying questions instead of actually answering them out loud.

https://twitter.com/katstkat/status/1123622854615085056

https://twitter.com/emily_vaughan7/status/1124046399690219520

https://twitter.com/hausmuva/status/1123732856092622849

Clearly, Mary needs to make a “how to” video on mastering the art of combating big, annoying, nosy families because—we all truly need it.

h/t: BuzzFeed

28 Memes You’ll Want To Screenshot And Share With Your Sister Immediately

Growing up with sisters can be a blessing and a curse. For one, you have endless closets to raid and makeup to borrow. But, girls can be the pettiest and ruthless individuals in the world—especially when you wrong them. Try doing wrong by your sister, and you can bet your ass you’re in for a long haul of telling mom you snuck out to meet a guy and tons of savage commentary.

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More awesome Memes:

Couple Shares The Same Photo With Two Completely Different Captions And I Almost Choked On My Coffee

They say that true love comes when you find someone who balances you out—who has a completely different personality than you. Lillie and her girlfriend Maggie definitely are a prime example of this universal truth.

The two, who make an adorable couple, clearly have different tastes in humor. Lillie shared on Twitter that both she and her girlfriend shared the same photo of them on their Instagram profiles, but, had completely different captions for the posts.

Lillie shared the photo with a romantic and heartfelt caption:

Maggie, on the other hand, turned to humor for hers:

Clearly, Maggie is hilarious and both these girls have an amazing sense of humor. It’s not the first time Maggie has come up with a genius caption on their “couple pics.” All of her captions are pretty much amazing.

Twitter, of course, was dying.

52 Hilarious Comics For People Who Have A Sick And Twisted Sense Of Humor

Some people have a dark sense of humor and laugh at things that definitely are controversial and touching. Cartoonist James Lecarpentier is a genius of the most iconic variety when it comes to capturing dark humor. Lecarpentier employs the darkest of comedy in his short and sweet Good Bear Comics, which frequently go viral for their relatable, self-effacing/inspiring, funny/sad, pure/twisted subject matter.

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