future-husband Archives

I am clingy. I am jealous. And you are going to drive me nuts every once, and awhile.

I don’t doubt for a second that some of my qualities will also drive you nuts. In one of the other articles I wrote, (“I Know There’s A Girl Out There”) I said that I wanted to see girls comfortable to be who they are. I wrote that “I wanted to see girls with pimples, freckles, and scars”… This is my ideal image of what perfect love would look like. It would look real. It wouldn’t be warped and changed to suit what perfect looks like to everyone else.

I think Taylor Swift puts my thoughts into clear, concise lyrics, “Our song is a slamming screen door, sneaking out late tapping on your window,”. These lyrics sum up that all love is different, and perfect in its own way. If this scares you… if being a real human being and arguing, and not getting along 100% of the time scares you, then you should probably walk away now. This isn’t a happily ever after fairy tale you read when you were a kid. This is life, and as you may or may not have realized at this point in your life.. it is more like a teeter-totter. You can expect feelings to come balanced but sometimes’s more this, than that. You cannot be happy all of the time.

You might be thinking “Wow, this sounds really shitty”, and I can honestly see how some people might view it that way. After-all we did grow up watching Cinderella, Beauty & The Beast, and other fairy tale movies portraying how all’s well and ends well. After-all we did grow up thinking that a little blemish on our face was disgusting, or that a little extra body weight was abnormal. Am I right? Multiple Psychology tests have proven this vision of “perfect love” to be completely unrealistic, and perhaps even unhealthy. To broaden your spectrum of view on “real love”, check this out: http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/according-psychologists-couples-argue-love/

Will we be happy? Absolutely.

Just because it won’t be this unrealistic perception of “real love”, does not mean we won’t be happy. I expect you to respect me, and my feelings enough to be honest with me, and if that means you have to tell me I’m acting like an ass hole then fine – thank you. Thank you for being honest with me.

Will it be easy? No.

I am a blunt person. Sometimes words come out of my mouth so fast that it is hard to stop them. I am clingy but I also like my “me” time. Basically, you can take your vision of a “perfect” woman and you can probably say that I am the total opposite. I talk a lot, I care too much, I will tell you not to get flowers for me on Valentine’s Day and then be upset when I actually don’t get them. I am a real menstruating woman, a real person, with real “imperfections” (if you want to call them that).

I can’t promise you that I will be an unrealistic perception of perfect, I can’t promise you that I will be an unrealistic perception of a woman. I can promise you that what we will have will be something we will have to work on, something that we will have to build, and something that will grow. I can promise you that after everything… after the fights, and the differences of opinion, and me annoying the fuck out of you.. that I will love you as a real man. I don’t expect you to be Prince Charming. But I do expect your respect, and appreciation, and most of all your love in return.

If that is too much for you… if that scares you, then I’m sorry but it just won’t work.

Did he sincerely choose you? Is he really in it for the long-haul?

You went through the dating stage and it’s been official for a while. Unfortunately, we typically start to question if he’s really in it. Let alone, into us.

Another failed relationship is definitely not on our list.

Some signs can be standing right in front of us. So as cliché as it sounds, actions do speak louder than words.

So remember, keep an open-mind and don’t overanalyze. He’s just a guy also wanting to be accepted. Give him room to breathe and let him be the man he needs to be.

He treats you as what you are to him.

He knows he no longer needs to gain attention from other women. He has female friends but even their conversation is kept to minimum.

If there is anyone he wants to share great news or talk to about anything, it’s you. He’ll never make you fight for his attention and communication. You are his girlfriend.

He introduces you to his family and friends.

He’s already amazed by you and now he’s reached a point where he knows your worth. He values you for who you are and what you represent to him.

So be ready to be introduced! His family and close friends are important, and you are part of that circle now.

He works on making things less stressful for you.

He doesn’t have to, but he does this because he cares for you immensely. He knows that spending time with you equals making good memories.

He’ll fight off the stress and worries with you because he knows you deserve it. He lives for the moment alongside you.

He makes sure you’re comfortable.

He avoids at all costs seeing you distressed, disappointed or vulnerable. He wouldn’t want to be put in that position, so why should You be?

He knows not to hurt someone he truly cares for. He doesn’t want to be the primary cause of ever hurting you. So what he can control, he’ll fulfill.

He prioritizes your happiness.

He knows he holds your heart in his hands. Holding the most fragile thing you can ever give him means he also has to protect it. He understands that you hold his happiness in retrospect.

As your partner, creating a healthy and happy atmosphere to build a stable relationship is essential. So he’ll often enough place your needs before his.

He encourages your ambitions.

He has goals he wants to fulfill but he also doesn’t want to leave you behind. His goals and ambitions are just as important as yours.

Building a relationship takes two. Building a future takes a team. He knows this and encouraging you isn’t hard to do.

He accepts your differences.

He knows you won’t always have something in common and you both are different in many ways.

He accepts you completely because he knows those differences are what make you who you are. But he doesn’t work on changing you. Instead, he helps bring out the best of you.

He holds your emotions into account.

He knows that not every relationship is perfect. Communication isn’t always easy and crystal clear.

When you discuss things or it seems like an argument, he pays attention to your emotions. They’re just as important as his. There is no right or wrong, its finding the equilibrium.

He wants to communicate with you above all else.

He knows there is no one more important than the woman he calls his best friend.

From small details to things that are hard to say, he knows that he can tell you anything and everything. Sometimes it won’t be easy, but you always manage to meet halfway.

He thinks of you as his future.

He talks about things that can lead to a fruitful life with you and this is of no hesitation to him.

At this point, he demonstrates accepting the good, the bad and the uneasy. He knows you’ve accepted him too.

He voices confidence in having a future with you. A future that he knew one day he’d like to share.

So ladies, when he shows attention, care and devotion, reciprocate it all.

A relationship is about giving without keeping tabs and providing your partner the sense of security.

If he does these things for you, you may have found your unicorn.

Tag: future-husband

To The Man Who Marries Me