Tag: ghosting

3 Glaring Reasons You Get Ghosted By Men

Online dating has allowed busy people an option to speak with and potentially date more people without the extra effort and time. 

However, with the advent of online dating apps, there have been new problems to solve. 

Due to the superficial nature of online dating, we now have to deal with a lot more scammers,  superficial conversations as well as people who aren’t serious about getting to know us.

Here are three glaring reasons why you get ghosted by men in online dating.

1: The Conversation Was Consistently Boring.

Since online dating is by nature more superficial, your conversations have to spark feelings of emotional attraction and romantic tension in order to inspire anyone to feel excited to continue dating you.

This means that if you want to make real connections with men online, you cannot afford to engage in small talk. As D.Shen, author of Commitment Triggers says:

“Small talk kills conversations. Small talk is the worst thing you could do when conversing with a man you’re either dating or just met. There is no value in small talk. Sure, small talk or pillow talk is nice and sweet when you’ve been together a couple of years…but in the early stages, it has no value. Information carries no value.”

Instead, you need to lead with playful banter. Playful banter will allow you to stand out from the sea of women online, and let you open the door for connecting with men emotionally, rather than superficially like most other women would be doing.

Not to mention, it helps create a feeling of romantic tension. Romantic tension is a feeling of positive anticipation and mystery – a sense of uncertainty that’s good.

Assume that if you don’t have romantic tension in your interactions with men, then it’s a lot easier for men to ghost you. Learn more about creating romantic tension and emotional attraction in this article on Commitment Triggers. 

2: He Saw You As The ‘One Of Many’ Woman, Not The One And Only.

As Renee Wade, Author of The Feminine Woman writes, 

“Men would only go all in with their investment in the relationship with you as a woman if you were the one and only. When you’re the one and only, they’ll give you absolutely everything. However, if you’re a woman who is in his ‘one of many’ basket, then it’s much easier for him to ghost you.”

So how do you become the one and only? Start by making sure that the men you date feel an emotional connection with you, and are attuned to you. In order to know whether he’s attuned to you, you should test him in the early stages of dating. 

What do you test him for?

You test him for his…

– Intent
– Desire to emotionally connect; and
– Whether he’s trying to sweet talk you or love bomb you. (Because love bombing is the biggest red flag that most women routinely fall for. And you don’t want to fall for that, ever.)

3: He Was Never Actually Interested in Connecting With You.

See, as women we have a bias of mistaking attention for genuine interest – and sometimes we even mistake it for love.

Just because a guy is saying all the right things, doesn’t mean he’s attuned to you, wants to get to know you, or is even remotely interested in connecting with you.

In order for a guy to stick around, he has to actually be the kind of guy who connects with your soul. He has to be genuine in his intent – rather than being another one of those guys who chat because they’re bored, or because they want to collect sexy pics of women.

Summary And Conclusion

If you want to stop being ghosted by guys, you must do the following:

1: Use banter to build romantic tension and interest.

2: Make sure you test whether he’s treating you as the ‘one of many’ type of woman.

3: Ensure that he’s the type of guy who is dating in order to actually connect with you! If he’s just dating to pass the time or to get some female attention, he needs to be weeded out of your dating pool. That also helps you lower the chances of being ghosted and inevitably getting hurt by men.

The Aftermath of Being Ghosted

So picture this: you meet someone, and you think they are seriously the knees bees. You’re hella happy and you start to open up more, make more plans, gain more confidence in the possible prospect of being a real couple, in a real relationship. You finally start allowing yourself to be excited about all the possibilities of a future together, you start to let your guard down because the vibes are like, so good between the two of you that you think to yourself, “This is too good to be true.”
And then BAM! “Mr. Knees Bees” suddenly goes radio silent. Like you just got a, “good night baby (insert kissy face here)” the night before, and suddenly, you haven’t heard from him in a week. You try texting, calling, (but not too much because if you blow him up, you’ll look like a whole ass clingy, annoying, crazy bitch) but nothing. NOTHING. Not a single peep from him, but he’s active on social media, and you know there isn’t any excuse or reason of why he can’t pick up the phone (which is in his fucking hands like 24/7) and say something. Anything. Even a ‘fuck off’ would safice.
And you don’t even know what the hell happened.
So then you realize that, yes, indeed, you were right. You shoulda listened to your intuition, and ran like hell when you thought to yourself that it was too good to be true. Because every word he uttered to you, every plan he made, every promise he swore to you, was a lie. Because it turns out, he’s just another fuck boy in disguise.
 You saw the red flags, (which you ignored of course) hell, those red flags looked like Six Flags, and you’re a season pass holder apparently, because now all those months of bliss with someone you started to genuinely care for, just up and disappeared. No warning. No explanation. Not a damn word. Now you’re paranoid because you were left totally in the dark, leaving you uncertain and insecure about EVERYTHING. And at the end of the day, you feel unwanted and worthless
It really will fuck with your mind when the person you were “talking to” just suddenly cuts all contact without any explanation. And all you want to know to know is, why?? What happened to make them suddenly change their minds about you? Or what made them not interested anymore?
Questions that won’t stop racing through your mind, keeping you up at night. “What went wrong?” You start blaming yourself and over thinking, “Why did I say? Was I too clingy? Too eager? Did I do something to scare him away?” You start over analyzing and replaying every conversation, every text, every moment you spent together, racking your brain for anything that could have made him cut you off out of the blue. It hurts that he couldn’t even be bothered to communicate he wasn’t happy or what went wrong. It hurts knowing he thought so little of you, and that everything between the two of you was a lie.
He got his message across without saying anything, and now you’re trying to comprehend and process the fact that the sweet guy who you thought was the “knees bees” actually turned out to
 be a shitty human. He bolted and you thought he actually gave a fuck. But, he clearly didn’t because he choose to take the cowardly way out when he ghosted you.
It weighs on your mind that he just suddenly went 100 to 0, and wasn’t into you anymore, and him ignoring you is hint enough that he is no longer interested, and you realize you have to accept his silence for what it is, him taking the easy, quick way out, because he wanted to avoid conflict and drama. That he didn’t even respect you enough to just be up front and honest.
Which just shows what kind of guy he really is. That he is a spineless, weak individual that didn’t have the balls to just tell the truth. I mean yeah, of course it would have hurt, alot, but at least you’d still respect him for being honest. And eventually you would get over it. But him going full Casper mode and leaving you to pick up the pieces? Fuck that shit, he aint shit.
And what sucks the most is, even if he did reach out and try to justify and explain his reasons, with excuses and lies, how could you even believe him, after he just dropped you like you meant nothing to him.
You didn’t even get any type of closure. Which makes the process of getting over him, the hurt, the unknowing, even harder than you imagined. Knowing he would do that to someone he claimed he cared for, shows that he’s a narcissistic, cold hearted, douche canoe who has no empathy or guilt.
 But your closure is him ghosting. You now know what kind of person he is, which is a baby back bitch who cannot own up to his actions, and instead, runs away like a scared little kid. You don’t need that negative bullshit in your life anyways. You gotta brush it off your shoulders, and remember, once a fuck boy, always a fuckboy!

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About The Author

Kayla Leanne Goss. Just a 30 year old small town girl, trying to navigate this rollercoaster we call life, writing about relatable shit that WE ALL go through and struggle with daily.

To see more of my articles, visit my FACEBOOK PAGE 

Guilt Free Ghosting, The One Time It’s Totally Ok To do It

Here Is The Situationship

All over the internet I am seeing posts and articles ridiculing people who have “ghosted??? others.

Ghosting is when you cease all communication from the person you are dating or going to potentially date.

It is deemed pathetic and inhumane by the social media world. Here is why it isn’t.

Guys are just such impossible pigs these days. Yes, there are some that are story book perfect, and my wish is that every girl will find one of those one day.

But for the most part, they are sexist, self-consumed, and have very few things in mind for your budding relationship.

It’s like as soon as you become single, a little light bulb blinks in front of their eyes and they become a pack of rabid animals and you’re the poor little lamb alone in the pasture.

They’re going to start off with cute messages that make you smile and think that this could actually be perfect.

“You’re so beautiful!???

But they quickly turn to less cute messages sent at 3am when you are supposedly going to be more vulnerable and willing to preform disrespectful tasks for them.

“Send nudes, baby girl.???

Um…yea…..NO.

We could keep playing their games and blow it off like no big deal…but where would that get us in the long run?

In a relationship with a big jerk, unhappy and disrespected.

Or, you could take time out of your day to freak out on him, call him out and tell him exactly about what you think of his inappropriate request to see your sacred body in a Snapchat picture.

However, obviously he’s not even worth the five minutes you’d spend writing the message and several hours you’d spend stewing over it.

With the thick skulls that men are born with, it wouldn’t really matter what you told him anyways, because if he was stupid enough to disrespect you in that way, he wouldn’t be smart enough to learn from his actions.

He would just tell all his buddies that you’re a bitch.

Or, you could drop it. Leave it just as it is, delete his number, unfriend him on Facebook, and try to forget that there are boys out there with as little respect as he has.

Honestly, I see that as the only mature option that we as women have.

As a woman, I have more respect for myself than to let some guy think he is deserving of my body over Snapchat and I hope that other women would too.

Time for that jerk to get ghosted.

The same exact advice goes for things he says to you in person that are hurtful or inappropriate or things he does that are annoying or disgusting or just plain rude.

So that’s why I ghost. I ghost because I’m mature and I know that I deserve Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet. I ghost because I refuse to be disrespected by boys who try and pretend that they are men.

So ladies, stop feeling bad when you have to cut some disrespectful boy out of your life by just doing the easy thing and deleting his number.

You deserve better, anyways.

Fans Are Convinced Ariana Grande’s New Song Is About Choosing Between Mac Miller And Pete Davidson

In case you missed it, Ariana Grande dropped another brand new album on Friday—Thank U, Next. The album comes only less than a year after she dropped her award-winning, record-breaking album Sweetener. Obviously, knowing how hard Ariana stans go, people were counting down the days, hours, and minutes until the album came out. On Friday, when it dropped, everyone was bumping it loud and proud, looking for some subtle clues about what songs may mean.

Grande has been extremely open about this album being a personal favorite, as it’s an album with no features from other artists and very vulnerable tracks. She admitted that she wrote all of the songs after her very public split with Pete Davidson and losing her ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller, to an overdose. Therefore, fans knew there was going to be some tea spilled about both famous men.

One particular song on the album—Ghostin—peaked a lot of fan’s interests after Grande did a Q&A on Twitter about some of the new tracks. She told fans that the song was about “feeling badly for the person you’re with because you love somebody else. feeling badly because he can’t compare, and how I should be ghosting him.”

https://twitter.com/ArianaGrande/status/1088170495889928192

Once fans heard this, they thought right away that Grande was speaking about her relationship with Pete Davidson. The two split pretty soon after the death of Mac Miller, and many fans inferred that the toll this took on Grande was too much to deal with—realizing she loved Mac more than she let on. Looking closer at the lyrics, it’s easy to see why.

The first verse talks about Grande sleeping next to someone and crying. It’s safe to assume Grande’s talking about sleeping next to Davidson and crying about Miller.

The chorus, also, discusses crying over “him.” Him, of course, can only lead to Mac Miller, as well.

The second verse even talks about wishing that “he” was here instead. And, that someone comes to visit her when she’s dreaming. Obviously, since Mac’s passing, this could be the only way she sees him.

One fan even showed the similarities between Ghostin and Mac Miller’s Cinderella, which, was written about Grande herself.

https://twitter.com/kehlanimila/status/1093918172544225281

Another pointed out that Grande wrote a song, reMeMber, that she cut from the album because it was “too personal.”

Another said that Grande sampled Mac Millers song, 2009, on the track, too.

Fans on Twitter could not stop posting photos of Mac Miller and hinting towards the fact that the song was about Mac v. Pete.

https://twitter.com/SmallestSkipper/status/1093742524055932928

https://twitter.com/kaycibonilla/status/1093744511585525761

Obviously, losing someone you love can be a hard road to travel. We’re glad Grande found a way to try and cope with it.

 

You Were Heartless and Did not Consider My Feelings

I Thought We’d Be Together

You’re the one person that I never thought would leave me. I never thought you were capable of just dropping me like I was nothing.

When It Ended

The loss of our relationship has completely devastated me. That’s why it has been so hard for me to wrap my head around all of this happening. I was shocked. I wanted to believe that you wouldn’t do something like that to me. I waited hoping that you wouldn’t just leave me. I didn’t want to accept that my suspicions were right.

It’s been hard for me to try to understand how someone so caring and loving, someone I considered my best friend could ever do something so heartless. Because you’re the last person that I would have expected this from.

It’s not like I just lost a friend. I lost someone that I never thought I would lose and I had no warning.

 

There was no consideration. There was no conversation. There was no choice.

It happened in the blink of an eye without me even knowing it.

After all we have been through and all the time we spent, you couldn’t even have the decency to tell me. Friendship might not mean anything to you, but it means everything to me. And I thought that ours meant something to you.

 

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