How to cope with grief and loss after a breakup or divorce

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Queen Elizabeth II

Give yourself permission to grieve and feel pain

● Acknowledge your emotions: give yourself permission to experience all the emotions associated with a breakup or divorce. Allow yourself to cry, scream, or vent your frustration.
● Take care of your physical health: grief can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. Make sure you get enough rest, eat healthy food, exercise regularly, and avoid dehydration.
● Seek support from family and friends: surround yourself with people who love and care for you during this difficult time. Talk about your feelings, and they can comfort you and show you the other side of the situation.

Remember that everyone deals with grief after divorce in their own way. Take your time; give yourself plenty of time to grieve. That way, you can move forward, free of resentment and negative emotions.

Seek support from family and friends

Remember that healing after divorce is not an instant process. It takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself throughout your recovery, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed. With proper self-care and the support of loved ones, you will be stronger in the long run.

Consider seeking professional help or counseling

● A therapist can tell you how to deal with difficult emotions. He or she has experience working with people going through situations similar to yours.
● This provides a safe space for self-expression: you may feel more comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with an objective third party rather than family or friends.
● Counseling helps change negative thought patterns: divorce often triggers negative thoughts, which affects a person’s ability to move forward in a positive way. Therapy sessions will change these harmful thought patterns.

In California, couples seeking to ending a marriage have two options: annulment or divorce. While both options result in the dissolution of the marriage, they differ significantly in procedure and outcome.

An annulment is only granted if a formal union was not recorded due to factors such as fraud, bigamy, lack of capacity, or consent during the marriage.

Divorce ends an existing marital relationship because of irreconcilable differences between the spouses or other grounds for separation recognized by law. Compared to annulment proceedings, divorces usually take longer because they involve issues such as property division and child custody disputes that must be resolved before a final judgment can be issued.

Take care of your physical health with exercise and a healthy diet

● Incorporate exercise into your daily routine: even small steps such as a walk or yoga class can make a significant difference.
● Eat nutritious foods: focus on eating whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats.
● Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms: while it may be tempting to turn to alcohol or other addictions during this challenging time, these habits can lead to further complications.

When opting for either an annulment vs divorce in California to dissolve your marriage, it is essential to recognize that, in the end, the choice won’t alter the importance of practicing self-care while navigating the challenges of grief. Keep in mind that seeking assistance from loved ones or engaging in professional counseling can contribute significantly to the healing process.

Focus on your personal growth and hobbies

● Rediscover old hobbies or interests: did you used to love to paint, hike, or make music? Revisit these activities that once brought joy to your life.
● Take up new hobbies or pastimes, and learn a skill you’ve always wanted to try. It’s a great way to channel your energy into something positive.
● Invest in self-care: focus on taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities such as yoga, meditation, or therapy sessions.

Remember that there is no one right way to deal with grief after divorce. Everyone has their own unique path. It is important to take your time in the healing process and be kind to yourself along the way. Focusing on personal growth and nurturing positivity will ultimately help ease the pain of divorce.

Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse

• Seek professional help: a therapist or counselor can provide guidance on how to cope with grief and loss after a breakup or divorce.
• Stay active: exercise releases endorphins, which improve mood and reduce stress levels, helping you feel better mentally and physically.
• Practice self-care: take time for yourself by engaging in activities that bring you joy or relaxation.

Remember that seeking support from family and friends is also vital during this period. They can offer comfort advice or simply listen when needed. Avoiding unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse and utilizing healthy methods like those listed above will help you move forward after divorce.

Give yourself time to heal, and don’t rush into a new relationship

● Take your time: rushing into a new relationship can lead to more disappointment in the long run. Give yourself plenty of time before dating again.
● Rediscover your passions: use this opportunity to explore the things that make you happy and focus on self-improvement.
● Learn from past mistakes: think about what went wrong in your previous relationship, learn from it, and avoid similar mistakes.

Remember that everyone goes through divorce recovery differently, so don’t compare yourself to others or feel pressured by society. Give yourself the necessary space and time needed to fully heal.

Do not rush into a new relationship right away, as this can lead to even more emotional stress. It is crucial to take a break to reflect on the lessons learned from the past union.

Going through a divorce can be emotionally difficult, but with patience and outside support, it is possible to successfully overcome grief. Remember, there is no time frame for healing after divorce – take as much time as you need.

Process Your Grief

Dear Grief

You came uninvited. You made my heart your home. You took away all the memories we will never make. You stole years that we should have had. You bought tears to those incapable of feelings. You showed me that life is not easy; that life is hard. You showed me that tomorrow is never promised.

But, you also showed me the strength that I never knew I had. You showed me who the true people in my life are. You allowed memories that I had forgotten about to reveal themselves again. You showed me just how much love I really did have in my heart. 

I never wanted you. You were an unwelcome guest.

Yet, without you, I would not be who I am at this moment in time.

I would not understand how precious life is.

How important it is to say I love you.

Because of you, memories are treasured. 

Pictures are taken. 

The simple things mean the most.

Strange as it may sound, grief, I am thankful that you showed up.

I did not like you then, and I probably never will, but you taught me lessons.

Lessons that I never would have learned if it wasn’t for you.

You showed me how valuable life is. How things should not be taken for granted.

I wish I didn’t need you to learn those lessons. But we don’t always get what we want.

You showed me that through tears, come laughter. And the sun will shine again someday. 

To my angels in Heaven, Suzie, Stephanie & Sean, for whom they are the reason grief has visited me, I miss you all. I love you always.

About The Author

My name is Chrissie and I live in New Jersey with my family.  I love reading books. It helps to escape a little bit.  I love spending time with my niece. You can follow my journey at  My Grieving Heart.

Learn How To Properly Deal With A Loved One’s Untimely Death

The death of a loved one can be upsetting and unsettling even for the best of us. The gravity of the situation forces even the coldest of hearts to soften and break down into a million pieces. Although the level of pain is different for everybody and it is rightly said that everybody processes grief in their way. However, certain common ways can be adopted by the majority of individuals to ensure that their grief management gets better.

A loved one’s untimely death can be shocking and put you off-key, yet there are some people who often object to grieving and advocate the concept of moving on. However, it is important to honor mourning and take the necessary time for grieving. This is why we have explained the importance of mourning in this article to optimize the common narrative regarding mourning.

Importance of Mourning and Grieving

We grieve because we care, it is as simple as that. This doesn’t mean that people who reject the concept of mourning are insensitive, the difference lies in the expression of feelings.

Since our loved ones are an important part of our routine life, the void created by their departure is difficult to fill. Although practicality suggests that we move on with our lives and avoid wasting any time, but humans’ emotions aren’t designed this way.

We are required to mourn our loss to ensure we get closure from the incident and move past the void that has been created. For this reason, no matter what scale we choose, we need to stop and take some time out to accept and grieve for our loved ones.

Yes, it is true that the time we spend on mourning results in a decrease in our productivity, but we need to question ourselves, what’s the purpose of all this productivity if we are unable to spare some time from our monotonous schedule for our loved ones.

How to Deal With a Loved One’s Sudden Death?

Dealing with a loved one’s death is a tragic situation, let alone the addition of the “sudden” factor. For this reason, these strategies can be applied to help you deal with the sudden departure of your loved one.

Find Outlets for Expression of Your Feelings

Finding an outlet for the expression of your feelings is important. Bottling up emotions and especially sad emotions can eat a person from the inside. This is why it is always recommended to find outlets to ensure that you don’t keep your feelings contained.

Know When to Get Help

Irrespective of the issue, it is important to understand when you need external help to cope with the loss. If we take the US as an example, Denver stands amongst the top areas that are affected by wrongful death cases. In terms of an untimely or wrongful death, finding a reliable Denver wrongful death attorney will give you the guidance and tools needed to ensure your case isn’t mismanaged. With effective legal consultation, you can be free from the worries of any injustice in your case and take the required time for mourning the loss of your loved one(s).

Mourning is Your Right; Exercise It

Mourning is your right and there is absolutely no problem in exercising it. While there are people who might argue that mourning can be a waste of time, you are the master of your ship. You can take your time to grieve for your loved one.

 

How to Remember Your Loved One?

Many people often struggle to find happy memories to remember their loved ones. This is why we have curated a list of strategies to help you relive some.

Cook their Favorite Meal

Food is an important part of our routine. This is why remembering your closed one by cooking their favorite meal is considered to be an excellent technique.

Create a Shadow Box to Store Their Important Things

Assemble a memory box to store the things that will help you remember them whenever you miss them.

Talk to Them

As absurd as it might sound, talking to your departed loved ones can be an exceptional help. It will provide you with an outlet to discuss your daily life events and help you bring stability to your routine.

Mourning is essential to relieve oneself after the death of a close relative. Although the concept of death isn’t new, the “sudden” factor amplifies the pain for most people. Many people suggest that we shouldn’t allow grief to take over our lives and get back to our routine life as soon as possible. However, psychology experts suggest that grieving is important and should be given its due time before resuming your routine life. Therefore, the aforementioned strategies should help you deal with this great loss.

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Saying Good bye: 

Saying good bye to you is something I hoped I wouldn’t have to do for a long time. I’m sitting here by the Lake. Here to honor you. I know how much you loved the Great Lakes and the beauty that Michigan has to offer. 

All I can think about is your light. The way that your laugh and energy was absolutely contagious. How we could sit and talk. I knew that I could tell you anything without judgement . You stayed by my side through some rough times. Looked me in the eye and said hat you where there for me no matter what. 

I think about all the fun days. The sunset pictures we’d take while sitting on the on the beach in front of Lake Michigan. Singing karaoke “girls just wanna have fun.” The memories of the good times are endless. 

Maybe what makes it hardest to stay goodbye today is that you where part of my chosen family. For a girl who has never been close with her actual family, the ones that I choose to be in my life, are so much more important to me. Making it so much hard to lose the people I love the most. 

So today as we say good bye, I’m filling my wine glass up and sitting here watching the waves come in from another lake. Celebrating your love and light. Wishing that all of this wasn’t true. 

Keep watching over us, we still need you love and light here too. 

RIP my friend. 

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Grandma Happy Birthday in Heaven, you are so missed! 

It’s these days, the days you should be here that make losing you that much harder. Three years how has it been three years you have been gone. Life just don’t seem quite as good now that you aren’t here. Every major mile stone feels like there is something missing. A piece that we cannot get back. 

So today, on your third birthday in heaven I sit here, by your head stone. I know you aren’t here. It’s just the last place that we where with you. I have my coffee and I’m just staring at the sky. Words are mostly lost so I write. 

Days like today are the hardest. Your memory is so alive, yet everything feels different. There is an emptiness in days like today. Days when I wish I could be sitting at your feet while you play with my hair. While the cake is baking in the oven. I wish we could go to your favorite restaurant together, and come home to sing happy birthday. 

I pass the card isle at the store and think, I’ll never get to buy you a card again. I stand there for a few minutes looking at all the cards marked “Grandma” wishing I could see the smile on your face as you open it up. Seeing the tears in your eyes because you are so touched by it. Grandma, although these memories will stay with me forever, I long for just one more time. 

I reach for my phone to call you and tell you all about my day. Even though it’s been three years now. I think about our conversations. How when I would have a hard day I could here you say “stay strong, you can do this.” I look down at my wrist where it’s tattooed on me. 

It’s days like today when celebrating you makes my heart ache. When the little things in life feel so empty. When I just wish for one more day, even one more minute to see your smile. 

Happy Heavenly Birthday. Keep watching over us! We still need you. 

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Three Years without you, the moments without you:

 

When you lose someone who is so important in your life, childhood, and adulthood it is a pain that you cannot even fathom. Three years ago Gammers you passed away. It left me so broken after one of the hardest years of my life I did not know if I would be able to get back up again because well I just lost a woman of remarkable strength and I knew that I was no where near as strong as you where. The last three years without you have been the most bittersweet.

 

You didn’t get to see me go back to school:

When I moved back home you made me promise that I would go back to school. That I would do more. I was just getting ready to start classes and go back to work when I got the call that you where gone. My heart ached thinking that you where not going to be there to help me through the hard times of going back to school. You would not be able to tell me that you loved me and that I was doing a great job on those hard days, and then you would not be there to watch me walk across that stage and receive my harder earned diploma. All I wanted was to turn back time, I just wanted to see you proud of me one more time, as proud of me as you where when I gave you that picture of me in my cap and gown. My heart breaks knowing that you will not be there to see that in person when I finally finish this bachelors degree.

 

You won’t be at my wedding:

I found love. You would love him and how he treats me. I can see your face right now and how happy you would be to see him walk in the front door with me. I know you would love him! But, thinking about the day that I marry this man is so bittersweet. Yes, it will be a day of love and joy. That I promise you because I know you would not want it any other way. But knowing that you wont be there to celebrate the love that I found, the same love you found in poppy really breaks my heart. I feel so crushed! The only comfort that I find in knowing that you wont be there in person in the flesh is that I am confident that you will be there in the best seats possible. Just know that it still won’t be the same and that is something that will forever be part of this heart break.

 

Just being with you:

I feel so cheated. No you won’t be here for the big moments of m life and as crushing as that is, it’s also the moments that are so ordinary that I am going to miss the most. Our thirty minute drive to the girl that did your nails. Yeah, I still cannot bring myself to go there. I just miss you too much, and it would just break my heart to see her! And I have come to a point in life that I am now going to need those cooking skills that you tried to show me so man times. I would give anything for you to teach me how to make those dippy eggs like you did. Its the holidays that I miss. How you put so much effort into everything for all of us. Everything personalized to all of us so we all felt special.

I have to admit that the last three years have felt so dark without you. Missing you is a pain that I never thought that I would feel. Thinking about the big events in my life that are coming there is a little sadness because you should be here to celebrate all of them. Maybe that is selfish that we all want you here in the flesh, but I do know you are looking down and cheering us all on pain free. So say hi to great grandma and grandpa for me.

I love you, Happy Angelversary. Fly High!

An Open Letter To My Angel In Heaven

Losing You

Where do I begin? I feel as though there are not enough words I can write to truly express all of the emotions that consume me on a regular basis knowing that you are gone. There are so many words I wish I could say to you, so many calls I wish I could make, so many moments I look at, wondering if you are somewhere off in a distant place watching me with pride.

 

The way in which you left this world was too abrupt. I wasn’t given the proper time to tell you everything I wanted to say. And I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you how much you truly mean to me, how much I need you in my life, how big of an impact you’ve had on me. I look back at our time spent together, knowing that I could have done more to be better—to do better, to be better to you and for you.

 

There are so many conversations I want to take back—how I wish I could rewind time and take the cruel insults I slurred at you in haste and anger back and swallow them whole. I feel like a beast—a demon—for speaking to you so cruelly. And I wish I had known then, what I know now—you never know when a word spoken can be the last.

 

I wonder so often if you are angry at me. And I wonder so often if you are at peace. I wonder so often if you are looking down on me, missing me, cheering me on, loving me from afar.

 

An Open Letter to My Grieving Family

To my grieving family: I love you.

There are no words I can say to you during this time of such a tragic loss. There are no actions or gestures anyone can do to help relieve any of the pain. As the world still turns, our clocks have come to a stand still. Our hearts are shattered and a deep feeling of sickness takes over our body. Our bodies aching from pain. Our minds restless from trying to grasp what has happened. Our entire lives turned upside down in a matter of seconds.

We lost an important person. One who was like the glue to our family. The one who made sure no one was alone on holidays. The one who never let a single stomach go hungry. The one who always picked up the phone to get everyone together. The one who gave us the cold hard truth whether we were ready for it or not. Most of all, the one who was always there when anyone needed him.

I can’t take his place. No one ever can. His shoes were far too big for anyone to ever try to fill. His contagious smile and laugh will always be remembered. His generosity and love for his family will always be spoken of. Who he was as a person and how much he meant to everyone will never be forgotten.

I can promise you that I will always be here for you, no matter the time of day. I will never allow you to walk this new, unexpected journey alone. As time passes, it will not heal the pain, but rather make our hearts not feel so foreign to him being gone. We will adjust day by day and I won’t let you fall. I will be here every second, every step, and every moment. I promise to hold your hand, one step at a time. My arms will embrace your pain and I will offer you my strength in every hard situation. I promise that no matter how alone you feel, I am cheering for you. I am always cheering for you to find the light in the darkest moments. My promise to you, is that you will make it through another day, we will make it through another day.

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