5 Ways Love Contributes to Your Health and How to Build Relationships

We may enjoy some healthy solitude and the occasional solo trip is good for the soul. Perpetual loneliness, on the other hand, is far from the kind of life anyone hopes to lead. Just like we need good food and sleep, our bodies and minds need good company. So much so that not spending quality time with the people we love can be detrimental to our health.

The social distancing regulations during the pandemic have taught us to appreciate our closest bonds more than ever. For seniors, however, this time has proven to be especially challenging, since most have been separated from their families and with little to no chance to socialize in order to prevent a potential viral infection. All precautions aside, building relationships, even at a distance, is unequivocally beneficial – here’s why as well as how you can strengthen those bonds over time despite any challenges.

Lowering stress and anxiety

Annoyances are everywhere. Whether you have to wait in line for hours, or someone’s being rude in the street, stress and anxiety triggers are all around us. That’s why we need all kinds of creative stress-busting methods in our lives to stay healthy and sane. Spending quality time with people you love is a particularly effective way to reduce stress and become more resilient to it over time.

Even in isolation and unable to meet people in person, you can easily schedule a video call, and share a cup of coffee remotely. Thanks to technology, we can connect with the help of social media, chat platforms, and video software, as well. It might not be ideal, but it helps build relationships and allows us to stay close even when we’re far.

A better immune system

Reducing stress is a potent enough mechanism that helps us stay healthier overall. Chronic stress is often linked to other chronic conditions such as inflammation, cardiovascular issues, anxiety, depression, and the like. Warding these conditions off means giving your immune system the break it needs to recover and grow stronger.

As you grow older, that becomes more crucial than ever, since a robust immune system is the key to leading an action-filled, purposeful life. As it turns out, social encounters rich in meaningful conversations, strong emotional bonds, and regular social meetings all contribute to our resilience.

A longer, healthier life

Studies exploring human connections are increasingly showing that people who are happily married and those with strong social bonds are much more likely to live longer. Not that longevity is the only reason to spend time with those we love, but add to that, the quality of life among people with good relationships is also much higher.

Since it gets more challenging to make new connections as we age, people can overcome the issue by joining an online community for mature adults that helps them make connections in their silver years. An online platform of that nature helps seniors meet people safely and expand those relationships into in-person encounters when they feel comfortable to do so.

Happy hormones overflowing

Happiness might be an elusive, multilayered concept that differs for everybody. On a biochemical level, however, happiness is very measurable, or at least parts of it that we understand so far. Our brain chemicals, our hormones, define partially how happy we feel. When we share affection with a friend or even our furry companions, we experience a surge of dopamine and serotonin, two of several notable happy chemicals.

When you’re happy on a chemical level, you’re also more energized to take action and do the things you love, such as walking, working out, all of which perpetuates the happy hormone cycle. Being affectionate with someone we love has that effect on us, so sharing kind words or hugging people we care about have a momentary and a lasting impact on our lives.

Lower blood pressure 

Due to overwhelming stress, as well as genetics, so many people struggle with cardiovascular health issues, one of the most common being high blood pressure. By helping your body reduce the levels of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone, and by enticing your body to produce happy hormones, relationships have a major impact on regulating your blood pressure, especially for the long haul.

When you’re working on your social life and sharing activities with people you care about, you’re also much more likely to be active. You can go hiking, especially when indoor gatherings aren’t the best option, and you can share a challenge such as jogging, taking up an online workout class, and the like. All of that contributes to your healthier lifestyle and lowers your blood pressure.

 

Loving relationships and ongoing emotional support that come from those bonds help us find meaning in our existence. When we’re surrounded by people who recognize our qualities and cherish the time they spend with us, we’re also much more likely to take better care of ourselves. Working on those relationships might be more challenging today, but with the right tools and creative ideas, we can keep those bonds strong and use them to imbue our lives with value.

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To the Person Who’d Rather be Heartless Than Heartbroken

I know how it is when you’ve been hurt before, probably by someone who thought would never ever hurt you. But they did, and now, here you are… 

 

A little older, a little wiser, and a lot more careful about who you let in.

 

You don’t like to give your number out and when you do take the chance and start to let them in you make sure to be the one who cares less, and you make sure to walk away before they can. You don’t ever want your happiness to depend on someone else.

 

Not after last time.

You tell your friends that you guys just didn’t ‘click’ but you know you didn’t even give them a chance.

 

You don’t want to be vulnerable, because vulnerable people get their hearts broken.

 

You’ve found out that the best way to protect your heart is to pretend that you don’t have one.

 

You convince yourself that you like to be alone and that this is exactly what you want.

 

But it isn’t.

It might seem better to be heartless than heartbroken but that’s no way to live your life.

 

So stop it.

 

When you get something wrong you don’t just give up. You try again, you know a little more, are a little more careful, and you continue.

 

So no, don’t let your happiness depend on someone else, but don’t be afraid to let people contribute to it either.

 

As hard as it is to believe, not everyone will hurt you like that and you’ll appreciate the ones who don’t a little bit more than before.

If Your Boyfriend Does These 20 Things, It’s a Forever Thing

Not to sound like everybody’s grandmother here, but finding a man in this day in age is a damn mission and a half. Finding a good man? EVEN HARDER. Finding a man who stays loyal AND plans for your future? Girl, marry him ASAP because that sh*t is rare.

 

Being a twenty-something year old in 2017 is wild. This is the part of your life where people expect us to settle down and get married, buy a house, and soon after, have babies. Ugh, I know, right?

 

This list is to help you narrow down whether or not your man is ready for the long-run because if you and your boyfriend can relate to the things on this list, you have got yourself a keeper, and you are set for life. Go be free, get married, and live happily ever after. I have done my job. You’re welcome.

 

1.He appreciates you and shows it.

It’s not hard to say thank you, and your boyfriend knows that. He tells you how much he loves that you’re his girlfriend.

Always Choose You

“To thine own self be true.” –Hamlet

Life is hard, and while we didn’t sign up for the journey we are simply chosen to live it. The chaos this world creates can bring the warmest spirits to shambles. With so many negative influences it’s easy to get lost in the anarchy.

I found myself on a walk with a stranger. I peered into the mirror and no longer knew the reflection. The last me I knew was happy. She enjoyed art and flowers. She had clear skin and no dark circles under her eyes. She took care of her health both mentally and physically. Most importantly she loved the new adventures each day gave her.

Who was this? This girl was sad. She wore her anxieties on her shoulder and while she still smiled, it was all for show. Her biggest fear was what the next chapter of life would bring. This girl was saddened by all the things that made her previous self whole.

The questions I started asking myself were immense. Who am I? What do I enjoy? What even is my favorite color? I couldn’t answer a single question about ME. The skills to think for oneself taught since the time of birth and I felt as if I were reading a foreign language.

How can you simply forget who you are?

You listen to the world.

You listen to every opinion of who you should be to the point that you’re not human any longer. You are nothing more than a figment of someone’s imagination. You become exactly what the world says you should be, and then they tell you it’s not good enough.

My message to everyone is live for yourself. Be happy with whom you see and never lose sight of them. The journey back is ten times harder than the trip there, and it’s fought alone.

I’m finally regaining some knowledge of who I once was and the feeling of a sincere smile is indescribable. When life makes the offer to choose your happiness or the happiness of others, always choose you.

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My Boyfriend Is My Best Friend And I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It

I always struggled through life maintaining close friendships. For whatever reason, I was always the “back up friend.” I had a lot of friends who I considered to be sisters—my very best friends in the world. I confided in them, I trusted them, I always thought of them as my confidants. But, whatever the reason may be, I was always 4th, 5th, 6th on their list of friends. I was never anyone’s “best friend.” I was never the girl that someone would call and text first, the one who became someone’s family. I was always kind of on my own, doing my own thing, looking for a “girl gang” to call my own.

 

But, that all changed when I met my boyfriend.

We met randomly; at a bar when I least expected it. I was out with some co-workers and he was out with his friends and our eyes locked on opposite sides of the bar as if we were looking for each other the entire time. It sounded cliché—like a scene out of a movie. But, when we talked, it was if we had known each other all our lives. I always think, maybe we met in a past life. Maybe we were friends in another galaxy. Whatever the reason was—we clicked.

 

13 Small Signs You’re Not Taking Care Of Yourself

Winter has come. ‘Tis the season for seasonal depression and the stress of holidays and final exams. Self-care can sometimes get put in the back of our minds, but let me tell you, nothing is worth more than your physical and mental wellness, I promise. I speak from experience. I cannot stress enough how important it is to try to take care of yourself during stressful times. Sometimes it’s hard to realize when you’re lacking in the self-care department, so here are some ways that show me that I need to step up my self-care game.

1. You aren’t getting enough sleep.

This is obvious. Sometimes, you get to the point of being stressed out where you have slight bouts of insomnia and that’s when you know there’s problem, and trust me, this has happened to me so many times now, it’s ridiculous. What I’ve been making a habit of doing is actually ending my day an hour earlier if possible. I don’t have to fall asleep right away, but I’ll get in bed at 11 P.M. instead of at midnight. I’ll start my nighttime facial cleansing routine earlier to let my body know that it’s time for bed. Any work that I haven’t completed by then can wait until the next day.

2. You don’t drink enough water.

Drinking a proper amount of water honestly is the easiest thing to do, and it’s the best thing. I carry a  refillable water bottle in my bag every day, and I make sure it has labels of how much water I’ve drunk that day so I know if I’m behind on my water consumption. Drinking the right amount of water each day can honestly make up for the damage lack of sleep does to your skin, and what forgetting to eat balanced meals can do to your body (use this to supplement, but not to replace!!).

3. You forget to eat proper meals.

Ugh. Getting three meals and two snacks in every day is a struggle with a capital S. I am the queen of forgetting to eat but guys, that’s not good. Not eating ruins your focus and makes you tired and feel physically weak, and you don’t need that when you’re trying to conquer the world. Meal prep, plan out snacks or make smoothies ahead of time to grab on your way out the door. Anything helps!!

4. You aren’t getting enough fruits and veggies into your diet.

This was a problem I faced a lot when I was constantly at work and school, and it was actually affecting me more than I realized. Not getting enough produce in your diet really messes up your vitamin levels and blood sugar. My lack of nutrients on top of immense stress was literally causing me to lose hair, and it was the worst. I’ve started keeping bags of frozen fruits and veggies in my freezer, and it allows me to easily eat them with every meal. I’m obsessed.

5. You’re constantly surrounded by darkness.

If your mood suffers when Daylight Savings occurs, being in dark rooms just makes everything way worse. Turn on the lights, open the curtains, buy a light therapy box, and get outside as much as possible. Even the slightest bit of sunlight every day helps your mood and stress levels, I promise.

6. You are surrounded by toxic people and negative energy.

I used to be the worst about letting toxic people stay in my life and it was so bad for me, my energy, and my health. Making the decision to remove negative people and energy from my life was literally the best decision. I haven’t felt this emotionally light and been surrounded by such good vibes in so long. Surround yourself with people who love you and who radiate positivity. It’ll do wonders for your mood and health.

7. Everything around you is cluttered and messy.

You can’t expect to have a clear mind if your space is messy and full of stuff. It’s a huge sign, for me, that I haven’t been taking proper care of myself when my room gets really messy. You don’t have to deep clean your entire house in the middle of finals season, but making sure your desk space or kitchen or room is cleared of any visible garbage or clutter really really makes a difference in how you think and focus.

8. You aren’t getting enough exercise.

I don’t mean, hardcore, weight-loss-as-your-goal type of exercise. I mean literal body movement. If you’re sitting at a desk working all day, every day, it becomes really straining on your body and your mind. Take the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Go for a little walk once a day to get your blood flowing. Join a gym to motivate you to get moving (crazy, I know). Working out is honestly the best form of therapy for me- it helps me think clearly, and it gives me an excuse to take a break from working.

9. You don’t take any breaks.

This is so important. Working for eight hours straight seems like a productive idea, but your mind and body will just be drained without frequent breaks. Taking care of yourself can be as simple as taking a 30-minute break every few hours to eat, stretch, drink water, scroll through Instagram, clear your desk, book a flight somewhere, you get it.

10. Without realizing it, you’ve been isolating yourself from people.

This, for me, is a big red flag. When I find myself not talking to people and constantly keeping to myself, I know that something’s going on. As introverted as I tend to be, socializing is really good for my mental state, and avoiding it to do work all day long is really dangerous.

11. Your mood has made a shift in the last few weeks.

Constant stress and a heavy workload can lead to a shift in mood, especially if you suffer from Seasonal Depression. This is also a red flag for me to know that I’m not prioritizing myself. If I find myself constantly anxious and depressed, I know that it’s time to take a step back and re-prioritize myself. Your health is more important than the amount of work that you need to complete in a day, I promise. There’s always another day to finish up whatever you need to.

12. Your skin isn’t glowing as much as it used to.

You know you’re lacking in the self-care department when your skin starts to look dull and bumpy. This is what I try to avoid, being someone who grew up with really bad acne (been there, done that. Don’t wanna look back, ever). I used to neglect my skincare routine, but it only made me feel worse because neglecting my skin led to me having less than stellar skin, which led me to feel way less confident in myself, and nobody wants that.

13. You’re exhausted. All the time.

Whenever I hit a stressful period of time, I find myself unable to rest, ever. I’m constantly on edge and I can never sleep at night or even chill when I’m taking a break from doing work. This is how I know that I have to reset my routine and get back into one that prioritizes me and my health more.

Why You Owe It To Yourself To Create Magic In Your Life

You drag through life tired and uninspired, relentlessly searching for that intangible something that will transform you forever. You seek a spark that ignites into a powerful flame and adventure of a lifetime. You wait for an eternity to discover your bliss, praying for the moment life will change you.

But you owe it to yourself to create magic in your life, to kindle your own flame, to embark on the life-altering journey you seek. You hold immense power over your carefree smile, your undying laugh, the inextinguishable brightness in your eyes.

Create your own magic because you deserve to smile again. You deserve to rediscover the simple joys that blossom every day – the sun’s stunning movement across the sky, the eternal bliss of the wind rustling your hair, the carefree joy of dancing through the streets as if nobody’s watching. You deserve to feel your lips widen in excitement as you embrace life’s simple pleasures, the mystical whimsy of knowing all that awaits you on Earth.

Create your own magic because it will make you feel alive. As your own spell transfixes you, hypnotizing you in the wake of its beauty, you will rediscover what it truly means to live. You will feel your heartbeat out of your chest in eager anticipation, the thrill that reminds you that even as you suffocate under the weight of life’s dreary monotony, you are a living, breathing entity, a monolith of soul and story intertwined.

Create your own magic because life won’t change itself. As you feel the world dim around you, gripping your soul with its dark sorcery, binding you to its unrelenting will, your spellbinding strength will free you, leaving you awash in a mystical twilight haze. In the wake of your spellbinding spark, you will rediscover life’s simple pleasures: whistling as you work, stopping to smell each fragrant rose, laughing with friends as if no time has passed, immersing yourself in childlike wonder.

You owe it to yourself to create magic in your life, to refresh your soul and rejuvenate your spirit, even as life’s dark forces threaten to pull you away from the joy you long to experience. You deserve to light your spark into a flame, to summon your immense power and conjure an aura of adventure out of thin air.

This article originally appeared on Thought Catalog.

I Am Slowly Learning What It Means To Be Okay

I am slowly learning what it means to be okay.

It seemed to be an unfading happiness, a joy that tears could never squelch. An inextinguishable self-love. An indubitably fulfilling life.

“Okay” was a panacea, a remedy for every conceivable personal ill. A life devoid of problems, mental roadblocks, and perpetual sadness. It was health. It was love. It was perfection. It was a journey; extraordinarily simplistic at first appearance, but nearly impossible to reach.

The seemingly perfect “okay” I sought was nothing but a fantasy, an ideal conceptualization awash in a haze of temptingly alluring lies. I am slowly discovering that being okay is an art form, a balancing act, a dance, a marriage of joy and melancholy.

It’s no longer feeling numb in the wake of life’s problems, but never being fully able to reach the glowing warmth of true happiness. It’s an ember that gradually warms the heart but gradually flickers out as the sadness returns to envelop your mind.

It’s refusing to hate your body and your mind, but not fully loving yourself. It’s looking in the mirror, acknowledging your appearance and walking away as you valiantly fight off the negative thoughts that are bound to invade your mind and refuse to let go.

It’s wondering if you should leave your job, but convincing yourself to stay. It’s resolving to make the most of your circumstances instead of seeking a new path. It’s accepting your decision not to move forward without true happiness, but without regret.

It’s resigning yourself to a life of “almost relationships.” It’s constantly bouncing between “single” and “it’s complicated” without constantly thinking about finding “the one.” It’s seeing an influx of engagements and marriages, but no longer wondering when your will find your forever person.

It’s acknowledging that your life proceeds on its own timeline. It’s no longer wishing that you were somewhere else in life, even though you don’t love where you currently stand. It’s attempting not to compare yourself to others, even if you don’t always succeed.
It’s complacency. It’s resignation. It’s acceptance.

It’s feeling caught in a hazy limbo between who you are and who you could become, not seeking out change, but no longer feeling completely numb as you ponder your life choices. It’s feeling joy and sadness in tandem as you reflect on your life. It’s experiencing the contentment that arrives after tremendous pain, the simple sparks of emotion that remind you that you are sentient.

Being okay is embracing the monotony inherent in living. Being okay is knowing that no matter where you are or how you feel, you are enough.

21 Quotes to Help You Heal Your Heavy Heart

Sometimes you just feel like your life is a total mess and there’s really nothing you can do about it. But actually, there is, you can read these 21 quotes to help you heal your heavy heart and set yourself free of whatever you might feel is consuming your soul.

1. “When thinking about life, remember this; No amount of guilt and no amount of anxiety or worry can change the future.” — Unknown Author

2. “Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money but you cannot get more time.”
 — Jim Rohn

3. “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.'”— Eckhart Tolle

4. “If you have a family that loves you, a few good friends, food on your table and a roof over your head. You are richer than you think.”— Unknown Author

5.  “There is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long, ‘I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.’ No teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide what’s right for you — just listen to the voice that speaks inside.” —  Shel Silverstein

6. “Wounds don’t heal the way you want them to, they heal the way they need to. It takes time for wounds to fade into scars. It takes time for the process of healing to take place. Give yourself that time. Give yourself that grace. Be gentle with your wounds. Be gentle with your heart. You deserve to heal.” — Dele Olanubi

7. “The simple secret of happiness. Whatever you are doing, don’t let past move your mind; don’t let future disturb you. Because the past is no more, and the future is not yet. To live in the memories, to live in the imagination, is to live in the non-existential. And when you are living in the non-existential, you are missing that which is existential. Naturally you will be miserable, because you will miss your whole life.” — Osho

8. “Sometimes the reason good things are not happening to you is because you are the good thing that needs to happen to other people.”— Unknown Author

9. “A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” — Unknown Author

10. “Anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storms is where you learn who truly cares for you.” — Unknown Author

11. “The older I get the more I realize that the things that cost nothing, hold the most value.”
—  Unknown Author

12. “No matter what is going on in your life today, remember, it is only preparation. People come and go; situations rise and fall; it’s all preparation for better things. You must stretch, reach, grow into your goodness. Without the preparation we receive through adversity, disappointment, confusion, or pain, we could not appreciate the goodness when it arrives.” — Iyanla Vanzant

13. “If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose. When you wake up, you can’t just wait to see what kind of day you’ll have. You have to decide what kind of day you’ll have.” — Joel Osteen

14. “Don’t hold together what must fall apart. The familiar life crumbles so the new life can begin.” — Bryant McGill

15. “Look for something positive in every day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.” — Unknown Author

16. “If the door closes, quit banging on it! Whatever was behind it, wasn’t meant for you. Consider the fact that maybe the door was closed because you were worth so much more than what was on the other side.” — Unknown Author

17. “Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you, but it is not others, it is your own mind.” —  Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

18. “Forgive people in your life, even those who are not sorry for their actions. Holding on to anger only hurts you not them.” — Unknown Author

19. “Pause and remember— It is never too late to begin again, to forgive someone, to have a dream, to meet someone or to love yourself. It is never too late!” — Jenni Young

20. “The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time.” — Danielle Koepke

21. “There are times in your life when you realize that no matter what you do for some people, it will never be good enough. The question is, is that your problem or theirs?” —  Unknown Author

Happiness and How to Get It

LA Vie En Rose, I live my life in rose. I don’t know if it’s blind optimism or an idealist’s view of the life in front of me some days I worry that my perception of the world is really just me on the brink of pure madness. What I do know is that although I may appear to pop out of bed in the morning with daisies coming out of my ass, my search for constant happiness is actually hard work. I’ve learned from my pain and adversity that anything worth envying in this life does not come easy, not even happiness.  My happiness is a source of hard work and dedication to build a happy life. I give a lot of advice to my friends who have called me many things: positive, bubbly, sweet, kind, loud, optimistic, idealist, happy, and giggly but an attribute I loved the most was resilience. I would be none of these things every day if it wasn’t for my resilience. In the advice I’ve given I’ve realized that a lot of my peers suffer from the same pains, fears, worries, and frustrations that use to and some days still do keep me down.

Some mornings I wake up and see my whole world La Vie En Rose, I hear the birds chipping, see the sun shining and Edith Piaf plays a French tune that I don’t understand so I don’t actually have to think about how it’s most likely a broken ballad about growing up in a whore house. Sigh. It’s a wonderful life. But let’s face it there are those days that are more like the bad parts of the FRIENDS theme song am I right? Like when it hasn’t been your day your week your month or even your year, Martha Kauffman just gets me. Your job is a joke…you’re broke. Like who wrote that song? Get out of my head! I don’t know the secret to eternal happiness I truly believe that there would not be real bliss without real sorrow. What I do know is how to build and rebuild a strong foundation, the roots that keep you grounded during even the worst of storms and I’ll share them with you now.

These are the five “corner” stones to happiness. Not necessarily in order of priority. 

  1. Be Well 

Health, have you ever been on a plane while their doing that dummy happy demonstration of what to do if the plane suddenly loses oxygen? LIKE WHAT? The plane can SUDDENLY lose oxygen?! Anyways, in the event, the plane is not going down and you’re not plummeting to your death and praying that God forgives you for those “experimental” college years, you’re supposed to CALMLY take the oxygen mask and FIRST apply it to yourself then HELP OTHERS. Now terrifying plane analogy aside, the real point here is to HELP YOURSELF FIRST. Your health should be the single most important thing in your life because it is responsible for how your other relationships are affected. And by health, I do not mean Instagramming a piece of fruit or the acai bowl you got this morning because you feel healthy AF all of a sudden, and shit this is so good you could go vegan, yeah, I could do it! Fuck gluten! No, stop that. Your health is not just about the things you feed your body with but the things you feed your soul with, deep right. Feeding your soul is so important to long-term happiness. How do I feed my soul? That sounds ridiculous! Well, it’s not. You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you curl up next to a fire, watch the snow fall or dig your feet so far into the sand it feels cold on a hot beach day? Where do your warm fuzzy feelings stem from? Do those things, daily, hourly, nightly; BE A FUCKING LUSH. Those picturesque moments you see in old films will fill your life. Wellness is something that’s attainable for everything, it’s hard work to be healthy but you can do it whether its diet related or your mental health, point yourself in a direction of success and take small steps every day to get there. But the warm fuzzy moments those will help eliminate your stress and make you happier over all.

  1.  The Giving (Family) Tree 

Family, and not necessarily the endurable at holidays only family or the relatives that are just out of reach that you catch up with and visit because well they’re blood. (They are important too obviously). I’m talking about the family that you build yourself made up of friends and people that have been in your life for as long as you can remember. The roots. This is your support system and it’s good to keep it well-nourished. The best way to nourish a relationship is to give and some would say without regard for getting back but I’m going to argue that. Kindness is the new black but when it comes to building your “family” you need to support those who support you back. If you have a one-sided relationship trust me the resentment will snowball and eventually blow up and if you have unfortunate timing like me it will most likely surface the moment you’re desperately searching for her missing veil with an ugly itchy dress (she had to approve even though you weren’t invited into the bridal party) on and your hair in a sideways bun (she’s already made fun of your for) that’s giving you a headache that for some reason is evoking every memory of her bitching at you about how pathetic the tattooed weirdos you date are and putting you down until you just throw your hands in the air and head to the bar. Fuck her veil! What the f are we doing in a catholic church anyway didn’t she convert to Buddhism for the last guy she dated?  No! Don’t get to this point! If you are 25+ you need to look around you and realize some of these women just aren’t going to make it to the finish line. You can’t spread yourself too thin when it comes to love. Give the most to the relationships that deserve the most and most especially to the relationships that give back.

  1. Work is a Four Letter Word

You know those quotes that are all “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life?” Well, they’re all true. If you’re in your twenties then by now you should know what your talent is. By now someone has told you that you’re good at something and by now you should know 5 things that you enjoy doing be it writing, decorating, drawing, yoga, etc. This should be you’re “work.” I’m not saying that you won’t also need a job to earn your cost of living alongside it, I’m saying that you need to separate the two work from the job. We are millennials and now in this age, the highest-grossing hotel has no actual hotel, the largest store has no actual store the possibilities for success are limitless thanks to the internet. If you dedicate yourself and some part of your day and salary to working towards your dream it will come true. Most people give up on their dreams because of words like practicality, the reality is they give up because they’re afraid of failure well guess what you can fail at a secure job too. So you don’t have to be afraid, you can be an accountant by day and a youtube guitar soloist by night, you can be a saleswoman and a blogger or a bartender and an actress or an artist and a fitness instructor or a yogi and a waitress. Your work is what you love, it’s not your job, it’s what you hope to make your job. Don’t ever give up on that, the only difference between you and the person who made their dreams come true is that?… they never stopped trying.

  1. Girls Just Want to Have…. 

Fun. Everyone needs a little R&R. Whether you enjoy the spa or throwing back tequila shots on a Saturday night you deserve EVERY WEEK to take some time to unwind. This life is not just about the paychecks and deadlines, your boss, your mom, your rent, or your bullshit it’s about the moments and memories and laughs with friends. You cannot spend every week channeling Sara Jessica Parker in I don’t know how she does it! You will go crazy from the stress because let’s face it life is stressful. So find the time for you, your time.

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