How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Healthy

Ideally, a healthy relationship is one that lets both of you feel connected to each other and still feel independent. It is a relationship that makes both of you feel generally well. You see, the relationship that you have with your spouse contributes greatly to your emotional, mental, and general wellbeing.

In addition, a healthy relationship is packed with a lot of other benefits. When you are comfortable and happy, you are able to respond positively to life stresses. You are able to adopt healthier behaviors, leading to a longer life. Above all, you feel a greater sense of purpose in life nurturing a relationship.

The question, however, remains what makes a healthy relationship. The following are ways that you can tell if your relationship is healthy.

1. Honest communication

Communication is very critical for a relationship to thrive. You will know that your relationship is healthy if you can freely express yourself without the fear of being intimidated or ridiculed. Communication is two ways in that you listen to each other and everyone feels heard.

It is also crucial that you keep in touch with one another when you are apart. This is where online communication comes into play. When using the internet for this reason, make sure that you have Residential Proxies for getting a fast and safe experience while checking different websites.

2. Fair fights

Fights are inevitable in any relationship. In fact, you should be very careful in a relationship that has no fights. That could mean that one of you is not genuine, or is holding back something. People in a healthy relationship fight, but they fight fairly without insulting or humiliating the other person. They fight for their relationship, but not each other.

3. There is independence

The fact that you are together doesn’t mean that you will have the same interests, pursue the same dreams, keep the same friends, and literally do everything together. You each had your own dreams before coming together. A healthy relationship will provide a conducive environment for each person to pursue his or her interests, and personal growth. You should in fact be supporting each other’s dreams as the biggest cheerleader. When you grow individually, you become stronger together.

4. You appreciate each other

Relationships thrive when you appreciate each other. You are different individuals and each of you contributes a share in the happiness and joy that you savor in. If you are in a healthy relationship, you and your partner will be always eager to appreciate each other. You will not need a reason to celebrate the other person. Gift-giving comes naturally to you.

Pro tip: If you want to appreciate your partner, you can never go wrong with music. If your partner is a music lover, download free music-making software and send them tunes that you created yourself. You will be giving your partner something to remember you by even when you are apart from each other.

5. There is trust

The truth of the matter is that you can’t be able to follow your partner whenever he or she goes around the clock. You will have to trust the other person if you are to set each other free. That means staying away from snooping into each other’s phones or tracking their whereabouts. You will also not keep any secrets from each other. If trust is present in the relationship, then that is a healthy one.

6. You don’t tell bad things about each other to other people

Most people run to other people when their relationship faces a problem. While your partner would be the last person you want to see when you are mad, venting out to other people only shows that your relationship is unhealthy. In a healthy relationship, talking ill about your partner to other people would be the last thing on your mind. You will seek to fix the problem with your partner first before reaching out to a third party.

7. Your relationship is a safety net

Life happens and a day has a lot to deal with. At the end of the day, you want to go home to a quiet place where you will find the peace and rest that you so much need. If your relationship is a safe haven that you want to run to when things get tough, it is definitely healthy.

8. You find balance

A relationship demands so much especially when you are living together. There are the chores and paying bills and childcare among other things. Most couples fail to find a balance, and one partner will often feel overwhelmed. When you are in a healthy relationship, finding a balance is not a difficult thing. You are able to play fair with your spouse in this aspect. And in the end, having holidays together will reward all your hard work on keeping the balance up.

Conclusion

Technically, a healthy relationship boils down to good communication and healthy boundaries. In other words, you communicate openly, honestly, respectfully, and without criticism. In addition, you respect each other’s personal life as well as trust each other.

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About The Author

Freya is a Math teacher, Yoga enthusiast, and a beloved mother of three lovely daughters. She is always looking for ways to grow and help others around her thrive through self-learning, meditation, and physical fitness. When she is not teaching or spending time with her family, Freya regularly writes on topics related to self-improvement and women empowerment.

To the Man Who Chooses Me

To the Man Who Chooses Me:

Our relationship has been easy. As I have unpacked my past trauma, you have been there through the whole process. We have had so many ups and downs. We have made it through them all, mostly with your reassurance. This stage has been hard on us.

No matter what we have been through, you choose me. You choose to love me… To hold me through the hardest of times, and stand next to me as I fight the battles that are mine. You are on the sidelines cheering me on while I chase my dreams! For these things, I love you so much.

Thank you for showing me what true, safe love is. I never knew a safe love like I do now, thanks to you. When I feel unsteady, you lay with me, hold me, and tell me that it’s all going to be okay. You listen to my overthinking and try to give me the spin on it so that it all doesn’t seem as bad as it does in my head.

Thank you for showing me what real love is. You love my flaws and all; including the fact that you can make fun of them. You don’t care about the fancy dates or me getting all dressed up. I do notice the look in your eye when I do, though. I also know that you’d rather me be in an old t-shirt with my hair pulled back. We have a Sunday kind of love and it’s all I wanted and more.

Thank you for loving me through the hard times. You are always there no matter when I need you. From changing the flat on my car to holding me close after a nightmare to listening to me dump my stuff from the day. You have no idea how good it feels to have someone to call on after all the years of doing it alone.

Thank you for being the one to dream with me. I love that you look at houses with me and help me try to construct or dream house that will be functional and not too big. I love that you will sit with me and update our list of names for our future child (p.s. we need one for our future fur babies, too). Thank you for working so hard so that we can make our dreams a reality one day.

Thank you for being so wonderful you, your imperfections and all. I wouldn’t want you any other way. But I love all the things about you. From when I come out and you are in your truck singing along to your favorite country song. To the way your hair being a mess when I video chat you on my lunch.

You are the one and I’m so blessed to be able to spend this crazy life with you. I love you so much.

A note to you ladies out there, your safe love that is so unconditional imperfect is coming. Don’t settle for anything less!

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The Right Kind Of Love

There are love songs about a love that is like no other.

This is a love that I have seen in my grandparents. It is a love that I had been searching for. They say this love comes at a time when you would least expect it. They are right.

When I sat down next to you at the wedding reception I knew instantly that my life was changed for ever. Your energy was something that I had never been around before and I started to crave that. When we made our way to the dance floor and you held me in your arms for the first time the connection could have knocked me off my feet. You held me up right. There was something about this that I could not put my finger on, but when we parted ways at the end of the night I felt like I was leaving my safe place and that just didn’t feel right.

My heart pounded as I texted you and asked if we could go to breakfast. I knew that I needed to see you again. There was this safe feeling that I felt with you, this was a safe feeling that I had never felt before. I was so afraid that you were not going to want to see me again. However, that was not the case. You replied instantly with a yes. I could feel the butterfly feelings. When you walked into the restaurant, I held my breath. This boy with his bright orange camo sweatshirt and cowboy boots stood right there and stole my heart, and he didn’t even know it yet.

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His Soul Is The Fire My Heart Needs

“You’re the light of my life, you’re the fire in my heart when I’m lost and guides me back home. Every star in the sky shines brighter when you’re at my side. You are the light of my life”

I thought my heart knew what real love felt like but I was so wrong. I met you and my heart was exposed to a whole different level of love. Being with you is pleasantly intoxicating because the love that you share with me is the kind that helps me see the beauty in imperfection, including my own imperfections, allowing me to see a better world, a better me and I just can’t get enough of it

I could not for a second imagine that someone could have such a hypnotizing effect on me.

You show me that loving is something you do, that actions are better than saying “I love you” and you make it a point to show me how much I mean o you through actual effort. You make my needs your needs, you make my happiness your priority.

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20 Things Your Friends With Anxiety Wish You Knew

With all of the info out there about Anxiety and the plight of those suffering from it, you probably think you know how to interact with someone suffering from this disease, but have you ever found yourself in a situation where a friend starts avoiding you or limiting contact with you, seemingly out of nowhere?

Unless you did something terrible and are too much of an ignoramus to realize it, chances are your friend has Anxiety and took a casual comment VERY personally, whether you meant it that way or not. For those of us suffering from Anxiety, it’s extremely difficult for us NOT to take things personally.

What follows is a list of things we wish our loved ones knew:

1. We are not anti-social!

It’s not that we don’t enjoy hanging out, but often doing so comes with so much inner baggage (Will they like what I’m wearing? What if I say the wrong thing? Do they REALLY want me there?) that it becomes easier not to go at all.

2. If we make even the slightest faux-pas we will disappear for weeks.

We’d rather not see the people who witnessed our misstep then risk having to be reminded of it.

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Effort Is All She Wants From Him

The truth is, the sexiest and most attractive thing a guy can do is give a shit. In other words, all a guy has to do to sweep us off our feet is put in the effort. Show that you care. Don’t waste our time being a douche or pretending to be something you’re not. It’s really not that hard, if you put in the effort, you’ll be the most desirable guy in our eyes.

You got it wrong if you think that playing games are going to get you far with me.

On the contrary, none of your “playing hard to get” actions and attitudes really fly. I know they’re total bullshit and don’t really add anything to your efforts to appear attractive, interesting or mature. I can see right through your bs; like when you intentionally wait to answer my texts hours later or cancel our plans last minute or how you always leave it up to me up to make plans to hang out.

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I Don’t Need You To Rescue Me, I Just Need You To Stand Beside Me

I’m not looking for Prince Charming, because I’m not the princess that needs saving. I’m not looking for you to be my everything, to save me or change my life. I’m not looking for you to sweep me off my feet right away, to answer my every beck and call and drop everything on a dime to be there if I call.

You see all these things would mean you’d be absolutely perfect and that I’m a little damaged and we already know there isn’t anything perfect and I wouldn’t want you to be that way. Perfect exists in fairy tales and Hollywood romances and if that’s all you’re looking for it’ll set you up for failure.

I don’t want you to be my everything; I just want you to be there for me.

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Weird Things Every Girl Is Guilty Of Overthinking In Her Relationship

We’re all pretty much insecure about the same things but on different levels. And some of these things we’re insecure about—even in the most secure relationships—aren’t things we’re really willing to admit to our significant others: that his ex is prettier than us, that we kind of want him to text us first sometimes, that we hate asking him for help and more…

1. When you tell us we’re pretty

We know you think we’re beautiful. You say it with your eyes, and you say it all the time. But when you say it too often, we get kinda insecure about it. We know this sounds crazy. But we promise: it’s not. When you tell us we’re pretty every day, we wonder if you’re just saying it because you feel obligated to say it.

2. When you compliment us at all, really. . .

When you tell us the sweetest things, of course, we love it. But it also makes us insecure. And it sucks. Like, if you tell us how smart we are, we feel constant pressure to be smart.

So that means we kinda freak out if we’re wrong about something, because what if that’s the thing that makes you realize you don’t like us as much as you thought?

3. Saying ‘we’re forever’ is beautiful, but also a lot of pressure. . .

When we hear you say “forever,” we get excited but freak out at the same time. We want forever, too! That’s why we’re with you. But the future is scary as hell.

What if we want the same things now, but don’t in five years? We trust in you and this relationship, but things can change in time.

4. We worry that we’re thinking about you too much. . .

Everything either reminds us of you or is something we want to share with you but the idea that this puppy love has consumed us when we swore we would never, ever be like this, makes us majorly insecure about who we are.

Also, we can’t help but wonder: are you thinking about us as much as we’re thinking about you?

5. You know everything about us, you have all our dirty secrets.

Other than our BFF (who literally can’t judge because we honestly know way too much) no one knows our inner demons and flaws and all that dark twisty shit as much as you do.

So when we let you in, we also let in all this anxiety and wonder that you may judge us. That maybe you think we’re not the “confident” person you thought we were.

We never want you to think we’re fake and definitely never want you to get annoyed that we sometimes just need a vent sesh. Ok, we need to vent a lotta the time, and we’re super insecure about because we know how often we do it.

6. Even when you tell us we’re great in bed . . .

Not all of our sex is great sex, and that’s ok with us. But is it ok with you? Sometimes we wonder if we’re doing something wrong, or if we’re boring in bed.

And sometimes we even wonder if you think we’re too comfortable with each other?

7. Having the money talk. . .

Money sucks, but it’s a necessary part of life. And if our relationships are gonna last, we have to talk about it, as much as we don’t want to.

If you make more money than us, we’ll feel guilty when you pay for things. If we make more money than you, we’ll still feel guilty when you pay for things. Too many relationships end because couples ignore this topic altogether, which makes us want to talk about it no matter how insecure it makes us, no matter how scary it is.

This Is How She Wants To Be Loved, But Will Never Ask For

She wants to be loved in uncertainty. When it’s not easy. When you’re fighting and your eyes are reddened from emotion and frustration as you storm out the door. She wants to be loved in those moments of doubt when she’s driving you crazy. She wants to fall asleep, and wake up knowing that her heart is safe. She wants you to realize that she fights with you because she loves you because she is cut like a gem with many facets, she is a woman who won’t always be simple.

She wants to be loved through your actions. Not by saying ‘I love you.’

She wants to be loved when you’re not with her, especially then. When you’re at a bar and she’s far away, and another girl approaches you, this is when she wants you to love her. Because that’s the real love that’s dying – the romance of having patience, loyalty when things aren’t working at that moment, the romance of not having one eye wandering at the so-called ‘options,’ because you know that it’s all bullshit – that this ambiguous ‘more’ doesn’t even exist.

She doesn’t care about the grand gestures of love – she doesn’t need you to light a hundred candles, a five-star dinner or a romantic trip to Paris. Those things are nice, but this is not how you love her.

You love her by not breaking her trust, you love her by not seeking comfort or validation in the flirtation with another.

When she’s far away, when there’s doubt, this is when she wants you to love her the most.

She doesn’t want you to always agree with her. She wants you to understand her, but she wants to be challenged, pushed – to be better, to live better, to grow. She wants you to care so much that you won’t ever let her slack on her talents or not get everything she deserves.

She wants you to love her demons, the parts of her that can’t seem to love.

She wants you to see her at her worst, frustrating the shit out of you, and then think, ‘this is the only problem I want to have.’ She wants you to cup her face when she’s bare-faced, consumed with insecurity, palms sweating, scared to death to let you in, and look at her with such intimacy that it makes her believe in lasting relationships again. This is how she wants to be loved.

Even if she’s a million miles away, she wants you to still feel her touch, her lips on your skin, seeing her gaze, looking right through you, touching those vulnerable parts of you that you hate. This is how she wants to be loved, and if you can’t love her like that, if you can’t love her when she’s not there with as much certainty as you do when she’s next to you, she doesn’t want your love.

She wants to feel like dating her is not the end of your freedom, but the beginning of it.

She doesn’t want to feel like the person you’re settling with, but the person you’re taking off with – planning every adventure with, shutting down the club with, every crazy dream you plan for the future, she wants you to see her in it.

She wants to be the first person you rant excitedly to when your dreams come true, she wants you to see her next to you. And if you don’t see her there, she doesn’t want your love. Because this is how she wants to be loved, she wants to inspire you to get every single thing from this life that you want.

She doesn’t want your money. She doesn’t want the lavish gifts. She doesn’t want to hang out, ‘Netflix and Chill.’ Not all the time. She wants to play, she wants you to dive into life with her, but not because she’s right there, because it’s comfortable, easy, but because everything is brighter and better next to her than you ever thought it could be.

She wants to be the girl you fantasize about. The girl who makes your whole body excited with electricity.

She wants you to make love to her with such intimacy and passion that it makes her body tremble as chills run up her spine. When you look at her, she doesn’t just want you to see the woman that you want to grow old with, have kids with. She wants to be the reason you feel alive, the reason you love life.

This is how she wants to be loved, but will never ask for. And if you can’t love her like this, she doesn’t want your love at all.

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You Have To Choose Me Everyday (Or Leave Me)

A female perspective of “Choose Her Everyday (Or Leave Her),” by Bryan Reeves:

I spent two years getting badly hurt by a guy who stayed with me but never fully chose me.

He did want to be with me. He wanted to choose me. Falling in love is not a choice – choosing them every day once you do it. But falling in love is an instant connection, it’s unexpected – I met him and we just talked and I noticed the way his lips curved when he smiled and the color of his eyes and all at once I knew I was either lucky or screwed. Two eyes and a heartbeat. That’s all it took.

Unfortunately, as happens often with young love, our ignorance of how to truly love quickly created chaos in our relationship. I could see in his eyes that he would sometimes wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love him better.

As the months passed and that thought played more and more through his head, he started to appreciate me and less and less. Eventually, he stopped choosing me – and we both suffered. Love never dies a natural death. Love requires you to choose the person you fell in love with, again and again, choose to make an effort for them. And he just didn’t. Not enough.

He stayed with me. He just stopped choosing me. That killed me inside.

Choosing me would have meant focusing every day on the things I was bringing into his life that changed him. Realizing that I fought with him at inopportune times because my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for him. I cared. I loved him. I loved all of him. We didn’t just hang out. We played. We were silly and ridiculous and alive.

I was the only one who could challenge him – make him better, I couldn’t stop loving him no matter what he did. I was the only person who he ever fully gave himself to – I wiped his tears as he spoke about his dad, whispering in his ear that everything will be okay.

To be fair, towards the end of our relationship, I didn’t fully choose him, either. I was rage-fueled, vindictive, I often hurled awful insults at him – like fireworks our chemistry combusted, leaving us burned and confused.

But only after did he realize that I was that angry because I didn’t feel safe with him. I wanted him to wake up and realize that I was worth fighting for. That these so-called ‘options’ were nothing more than an illusion, that it was all bullshit – just his ego talking. That someone might be easier to love – but it would never satisfy him. Because what we had wasn’t easy – it was extraordinary. And I knew how rare that was.

Sadly, he didn’t understand this at the moment – he only realized it when it was too late. He was too focused on my anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of my strong personality that wore him down. I could feel him not choosing me, so it brought out the worst in me. Eventually, my biggest fear came true – he abandoned me, sabotaging our relationship, shattering my heart.

I’ll never be with someone who doesn’t choose me again.

If you’re in a relationship, I urge you to ask yourself this question:

“Is my partner choosing me today?”

Are they appreciating you, making an effort for you? Because love is not enough. Staying with someone is not enough. They have to choose you.

And you can’t make someone choose you, you are only responsible for yourself. If the person you’re with doesn’t understand that a true connection is once in a lifetime, that it means something, that you have to fight for it, let them go. Because you never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready.

If they have one foot out the door, unable to see what is right in front of them if they think easiness is good, that there’s something better, that the more chances they have, the better, let them go.

Because only an extraordinary person can appreciate and choose the extraordinary. Make room for that person, the person who deserves all of your magic, the person who will eagerly choose you every day.