The Heartbreaking Reality Of Loving Someone You Have No Future With

Falling in love is one of the most brutally awakening experiences one can endure. When you meet someone you click with, it often seems like nothing else matters to you—it’s you and them against the entire world and you couldn’t give a f*ck what anyone else thinks.

The beginning of every “epic love” you experience in your life (because trust me, there will be more than one) is always absolute bliss. You’re constantly learning new things about each other, you’re sharing first-time experiences with them and you are hopelessly in love with all the little moments you spend together.

That’s why they call the beginning of every relationship the “Honeymoon Stage.” You are on a vacation from reality – you are living on an island in your mind, where no true sense of truth can make its way in. You’re lounging in the sunshine of their embraces, you’re watching the stars in their eyes—it’s like a permanent break from worry and chaos.

But, every honeymoon eventually comes to an end and sometimes, reality finds its way into your mind. It does happen in life that we fall in love with people we have no future with and we’re left to face the question of what the f*ck do we do next?

Do you stay with someone you’re madly in love with, even though you can’t see them being the end-all be-all of your life? Or, do you prematurely leave, because you don’t want to waste your time on someone who cannot provide a solid foundation for a future with you?

You start to worry about every little thing—overthinking situations that may not happen for years to come—but, they matter in the long-run. How can you truly know what the right move is? How do you know what you should do in this kind of situation?

The truth is there is no right answer. There is no universal truth to dealing with this kind of complex situation. You can love someone with every inch of your soul, every inch of your being, and they can still not be the right person for you, for the rest of your life.

It’s up to you to decide.

Are you willing to stay with someone you love, because you love them, and risk the chance of it ending in heartbreak—having to start all over again with someone new?

On average, people spend over a year or two together before realizing that they are with the “wrong person,” or, that the person they are with has no place in their future. They start to see bigger flaws, issues that will hinder their growth and the relationships’ growth—or realize, they cannot marry this person or start a family with them.

Here’s the honest truth:

Just because you love someone with every inch of your being, doesn’t mean it will work out perfectly in the end. Most relationships aren’t perfect—actually, no relationship is perfect. Every couple has their own issues, quirks, problems they need to fix and work out. That doesn’t stop them from being together, though.

If the red flags are too blinding—don’t stay with someone because it’s easier than ending things. Don’t stay with someone just because you are both already comfortable with each other and you don’t feel like walking away and having to restart it all over again with someone else.

Stay with someone because your love is strong enough to overcome struggles, obstacles, battles and change. Stay with someone you are willing to compromise for and who is willing to do the same.

In the end, the changes that happen over time may surprise you – and, besides, who ever said love was easy?

My Mind Knows I Should Leave but My Heart Won’t Give Him Up

I’m finally at the point where I can confidently fake a pleasant, positive response when people ask how I’m doing. Some see the sadness hidden in my eyes and give me a knowing look, but most just move on.

Those people don’t know the pain you caused me. The ones that do despise you. They see how you’ve shattered me and recognize that I’ll never be the girl I was before I let you into my heart.

They held me as my body quivered when I had no tears left and heard my weakened whispers admitting how alone and defeated I was. They saw my body shrink as I struggled to move past everything.

They don’t understand why I still choose to let you in my life. Sometimes even I don’t know why I let you stay after you broke me the way you did.

It’s curious how a problem can be its own solution. On my roughest days, you’re still the only one who can calm me down and talk some sense into my stubborn head. 

I know you care about me. You’ve taken responsibility for your actions and I know that means a lot, but part of me will never understand how you treated me so horribly.

On the days where I find the tears streaming down my face, I have no problem angrily telling you how shitty of a person you are. While I do feel that way about you, I also still care for you. I still love you.

It’s been a long time since we sat in the same room and talked but late night text conversations still happen. 

You say it’s best that we keep our distance while things are fresh because you’re scared being close will bring too many feelings back for me.

Part of me knows that you’re just as scared that you’ll find yourself overwhelmed.

I know I’ll never be able to fully detach if I let you stick around in my life and heart, but maybe I don’t really want to quit what we’ve started.

Maybe this is just our pause, not a full stop.

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