To The Girl With A Brave Face And Broken Heart

“Be That strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare do anything, be that independent girl who didn’t need a man. Be the girl who never backed down.” -Taylor Swift

The thing I find most interesting about broken hearts is anyone at any moment can be crumbling before you. You’d never know because they go through the motions, they have to and put on a brave face. You’d never know they cried themselves to sleep that night, or woke up with a knot in their stomach, not wanting to move. You wouldn’t know how often they look at the pictures and look back at the past, to a time when things were simple.

You don’t know these things, because sometimes it’s easier to pretend everything is okay than actually admit someone blew your heart to shreds and left you to pick up the pieces.

“The hard part is pretending not to give a f$ck when you really do. The worst part is trying to close your heart when it’s doors have been blown to pieces,” R.M Drake

To the girl who has mastered the brave face,

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10 Signs He Will Never Be In Love With You

You’re flooded with crazy infinite happiness and butterflies when you’re with him, but that’s what’s so heartbreaking about the brutal truth of the situation: the strength of your feelings will never make up for his lack of feeling. Chemistry is a mysterious thing.

You cannot convince someone to fall in love. It’s not a choice. It’s a feeling. It’s not that he doesn’t want to want you. He’s just not capable.

1. He says he doesn’t believe in relationships or love.

If he says this to your face, he’s doesn’t believe in the possibility of love or a relationship with you.

2. He says something along the lines of I guess I’ll see you whenever I see you when you’re saying goodbye to him after hanging out.

If he’s not eager to see you again, sometime soon, he’s got other things on his mind, and you’re probably not one of them.

3. You keep going over the little things in your head.

That one time he said how cute you looked when he picked you up. But then didn’t text you all weekend. And it seemed odd he didn’t get in touch when he supposedly stayed at home, bored the whole time…something just doesn’t add up.

4. He encourages you to pursue other guys.

He’s basically hinting that he wants to keep seeing other people freely. He’s trying to gently tell you that the two of you are not exclusive. He’s not worried about losing you to someone else.

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I Thought You’d Be Different, Turns out You’re Just Like Every Other Guy

“So that’s it, we’re breaking up. Except we can’t break up because we’re nothing.” — Gilmore Girls

It’s been a while since you last looked me in the eyes. I kissed you goodbye in the morning as I had many times before with the notion that I’d see you later. I had no idea the pain that would ensue in the next month.

It’s funny to think back about how truly blindsided I was.

To think about how oblivious I was to what you were capable of doing to me. I was already vulnerable from day one; smothered by another relationship that had torn my self-worth down and made me feel small and worthless. Then you came along and somehow made that all disappear.

Even though I wasn’t your number one priority, you gave me the time of day. Slowly, you made me feel like I did have a place in your life. Though we kept what was going on strictly between us, you brought me happiness and made me feel like maybe I was worth it….maybe I was capable of letting someone into my heart again.

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“I am grieving a loss of someone I never met, only felt.”

Years I have dealt with feeling sadness in strange ways, sadness that brought me down to my knees screaming bloody murder trying to get the internal monster that I battled out of my body.

Cutting my skin hoping the blood that trickled out was the inner demons that wouldn’t leave me be.

Nothing worked. The sadness that I feel now is different then anything I have ever felt and will ever feel in the rest of my existence.

Never in my life did I think my first pregnancy would end up in a tragedy and sadness beyond belief.

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I Can’t Change Your Past But I Hope I Can Change Your Future

I know you’ve been hurt pretty bad in the past. I can’t begin to understand what it might have been like for you. Sure, I can have empathy and sympathy but every experience and every heartbreak a person endures is their own. You don’t need to tell me about it. It’s a conversation I won’t force but will happily listen if you want to tell me.

I know it makes you wary of trusting people.

I know you might not trust me yet. But when you question love, let me remind you that love hasn’t hurt you. It’s a person’s lack of love that has hurt you and caused you pain.

I hate that you’ve endured that but struggle makes you a better person. Pain makes you more human and getting through it has made you more beautiful in my eyes.

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A Douchebag Doesn’t Have the Power to Crush Your Faith in Love

Faith Challenged

I know right now you feel broken.You think you are broken beyond repair and can’t see ever being in love again. The thought of being treated right and loved is unimaginable at the moment.

Right now, you can’t see past the pain of the present but I promise you, everything is going to be okay.

Someone broke you in the past, but that doesn’t change the present or future. You can’t keep sulking in your own sadness because a worthless guy wasn’t smart enough to see how great you are.You still have the potential to find love and have a successful life.

You cannot let some nobody lower your self-esteem and leave you feeling like you aren’t good enough. Don’t base your worth off how someone treated you in the past. You deserve better than that.

So keep your chin up, life is going to get better. You are not alone, heartbreak is a universal. We all know how much it hurts.

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To The Guy Who Thought I Didn’t Deserve The Truth

“All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired lifeless eyes, cause you’ve burned them out…”

I’ve sat and tried to process everything that has transpired since the day you left me again. My mind replays the story like a broken record and I’m struggling to make peace with the evil left in my head.

Daily, I must remind myself that the memories we shared were unknowingly filled with deceit and manipulation the entire time. A mistake repeated more than once is a choice.

You chose to lie to me. And you chose to break us. You chose to be unfaithful.

Maybe you should know that I no longer trust anyone. That feeling of safety and security in the arms of the one I love, the intimacy of sharing every shattered and hopeful dream, the pure bliss of listening quietly to my lovers heartbeat, or the tender kisses to fluttering eyelids have all been tainted by the sting of betrayal.

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Why Girls Who Go Through A Brutal Breakup End Up The Happiest

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” –Willie Nelson

You’re going through a brutal breakup and the last thing you wanna hear right now is “things happen for a reason.” Like, come on!. You’re emotionally exhausted, your heart is aching and so over feeling like you’ve been deprived of happiness forever.

You should trust that in a weird way, whether you think it’s possible or not right now, you’ll end up the happiest. Your heart will go through hell and back and will most definitely survive it.

Right now, you just can’t find any sense of solace in a few words of encouragement.

Because you simply cannot comprehend how life can be so unfair. You loved passionately and intensely and in the blink of an eye, it all went to shit. You can’t accept it and absolutely nothing can ease the pain that you’re feeling right this second.

The memories that you built with him are all you can think about and the thought of him kissing you again literally consumes every second of your day. He’s all you ever wanted and you can’t fathom life without him. You wonder, how am I ever going to get him off my mind? How is my body ever going feel like he made me feel?

It’s a pressure in your chest that makes it almost impossible to hold back your tears. It’s brutal.

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Being Heartbroken Means You Were Brave Enough to Love Unconditionally

It’s easy to fake a smile, force a laugh and portray an illusion that you’re “fine.”

If you’ve ever loved someone so deeply, and if you’ve been truly broken hearted over the same person who made you feel on top of the world.

Your perception of your own reality shifts, in the blink of an eye. You lose sight of everything that holds meaning, because the one person you held so dearly- seems to have become just a delusion of your memory. That pit in your stomach and that aching pain in your chest? It’s real.

They say it’s a proven fact that you can die from a broken heart..

like couples that have spent ages together and one passes, the other does too, shortly after.. because your emotions and even your body grows so accustomed to their beating heart.

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How I started hating you.

I remember this day quite clearly, we were fighting once again because you swore I was flirting with someone else.

I was packing my stuff to leave and for you that was not fast enough. You came in the closet and pushed me. When I sat on the bed crying you grabbed me by my wrists and tossed me to the side. But you weren’t done there. That’s when you decided it’d be funny to pick me up and act as though you were going to throw me down the stairs.

That was just the first night it all started. That night I wanted to hate you, but I hated myself more.

The night I started hating you was the night you told me to kill myself. That was the night that all my emotions were hate for you. And you kept making it worse.

I kept telling myself as long as I didn’t make you mad we’d be fine. But not making you mad was harder then trying to catch a rainbow. I started hating myself after I spent countless nights praying to god that he would get me through whatever incident happened.

So by the night when you called me 12 times and texted me 20 and had shown up at my house beating at my door. Only for me to finally wake up and answer for you to out your hands around my neck because I was obviously with a guy and that’s why I didn’t answer. By that night I forgot what love even was.

And then the last night, the night you told me you did all those things just to scare answers out of me. That night I freed myself. Because that night I realized you knew it was wrong but you found humor in my terror and nothings funny about that.

I always told myself I’d never let that happen to me but somehow I let it. And I know tons of girls are just like me in that way.

No one really talks about how you hate yourself after going through that. But that’s the worse hate. You feel alone because no one understands. You feel helpless, and dependent. You feel like you’re not in your skin. But I pray someday I will make it without replaying one of those memories in my head everyday.

Because I know you carry no regret for the things you did to me. I look back and think about the times you put me through hell and realize you don’t care because you somehow justify it to make it okay.

The day I started hating you wasn’t the best day of my life because I still thought of you. The day I let you go was the best day of my life.