To The Girl With A Brave Face And Broken Heart

“Be That strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare do anything, be that independent girl who didn’t need a man. Be the girl who never backed down.” -Taylor Swift 

The thing I find most interesting about broken hearts is anyone at any moment can be crumbling before you. You’d never know because they go through the motions, they have to and put on a brave face. You’d never know they cried themselves to sleep that night, or woke up with a knot in their stomach, not wanting to move. You wouldn’t know how often they look at the pictures and look back at the past, to a time when things were simple.

You don’t know these things, because sometimes it’s easier to pretend everything is okay than actually admit someone blew your heart to shreds and left you to pick up the pieces.

“The hard part is pretending not to give a f$ck when you really do. The worst part is trying to close your heart when it’s doors have been blown to pieces,” R.M Drake  

To the girl who has mastered the brave face,

10 Signs He Will Never Be In Love With You

You’re flooded with crazy infinite happiness and butterflies when you’re with him, but that’s what’s so heartbreaking about the brutal truth of the situation: the strength of your feelings will never make up for his lack of feeling. Chemistry is a mysterious thing.

You cannot convince someone to fall in love. It’s not a choice. It’s a feeling. It’s not that he doesn’t want to want you. He’s just not capable.

1. He says he doesn’t believe in relationships or love.

If he says this to your face, he’s doesn’t believe in the possibility of love or a relationship with you.

2.  He says something along the lines of I guess I’ll see you whenever I see you when you’re saying goodbye to him after hanging out.

If he’s not eager to see you again, sometime soon, he’s got other things on his mind, and you’re probably not one of them.

3. You keep going over the little things in your head.

That one time he said how cute you looked when he picked you up. But then didn’t text you all weekend. And it seemed odd he didn’t get in touch when he supposedly stayed at home, bored the whole time…something just doesn’t add up.

4. He encourages you to pursue other guys.

He’s basically hinting that he wants to keep seeing other people freely. He’s trying to gently tell you that the two of you are not exclusive. He’s not worried about losing you to someone else.

Why Girls Who Go Through A Brutal Breakup End Up The Happiest

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” –Willie Nelson

You’re going through a brutal breakup and the last thing you wanna hear right now is things happen for a reason.Like, come on!. You’re emotionally exhausted, your heart is aching and so over feeling like you’ve been deprived of happiness forever.

You should trust that in a weird way, whether you think it’s possible or not right now, you’ll end up the happiest. Your heart will go through hell and back and will most definitely survive it.

Right now, you just can’t find any sense of solace in a few words of encouragement.

Because you simply cannot comprehend how life can be so unfair. You loved passionately and intensely and in the blink of an eye, it all went to shit. You can’t accept it and absolutely nothing can ease the pain that you’re feeling right this second.

The memories that you built with him are all you can think about and the thought of him kissing you again literally consumes every second of your day. He’s all you ever wanted and you can’t fathom life without him. You wonder, how am I ever going to get him off my mind? How is my body ever going feel like he made me feel?

It’s a pressure in your chest that makes it almost impossible to hold back your tears. It’s brutal.

7 Dating Mistakes To Avoid In 2020 So Your Love Life Isn’t God Awful Again

Let’s face it—2018 wasn’t the best year for everyone when it comes to love. There are so many times we’ve made mistakes: we’ve drunk texted our ex to rekindle the flame only to be burned twice as hard, we’ve broken up with people we realized we should have never pushed out of our lives, and we’ve isolated ourselves from finding true love because we have a sour outlook on dating overall. 

Whatever the reason your love life took a bad left turn this year, it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed forever. In fact, there are so many opportunities and ways to fix your broken romance cycle this coming year, and we’re here to help you out.

 

1. Not being honest.

This is not only for yourself, but the person you are dating as well. We all have a gut instinct when it comes to anything in life and you need to be honest with yourself when your gut is speaking to you. Stop ignoring your guy and lying to yourself that your gut isn’t trying to tell you something; because it is. Be honest with how you really feel about the person you are with. Something in a relationship things starts out great in the beginning but after a few months, it’s not the same relationship. That is okay but it is important to be honest with yourself if you are staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in.

 

2. Chasing love that you truly know will never be yours.

Guilty as charged. A lot of us are. It is a natural behavior to chase after something you know that you can’t have or know isn’t right for you. That is a phase that you will eventually fall out of. “Chasing after someone that is not attainable will get old fast and wasting your time doing that will prevent you from chasing someone that is meant to be yours. Yes, the chase is fun every once and a while; and no one likes it when a relationship is easy. Things are boring that way, but it is very important to make sure you are chasing after someone that is attainable in the end. Time wasted is never satisfying.

 

3. Showing aggressive behavior towards the other person and the relationship you are trying to build.

A.K.A. coming on too strong, forcing the relationship too quickly, stalking the person’s every move after you first meet etc….All behaviors that are unnatural and will prove that you are too crazy to be with before a real relationship can actually blossom. You also can not force a relationship to happen. It just never works out that way. By engaging in aggressive behaviors that try to force a relationship you will just push the relationship back further from ever being a serious thing.

 

And When She’s Had Enough, This Is What You’ll Miss

She was the girl who saw past your flaws. She’s the one who saw the light in you and supported you, spoiled you and unconditionally loved you. She was not afraid to let you into her heart but she never imagined that the risk of getting a broken heart would be way too high.

She held onto you for as long as she could, but she realized that she was giving way more than she was receiving.

She’s had enough and staying would have been a betrayal to her soul, so you gave her no choice but to walk away.

She waited for you to give her a reason to stay, to give her a smidgen of hope that you would change, but no, you had no intention to fight for her

You got too comfortable being loved by her without realizing that her needs were as important as yours.

You didn’t fight for her and the truth is, you’re going to regret it. You’re going to miss her like crazy. You’ll realize that letting her go was the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in your life.

You’re going to realize that she’s probably the only person in this world besides yourself that actually gets you.

You’re going to find yourself understanding how she had the ability to motivate you like no other and that it was with her that you were able to be the best version of yourself.

Because she was a selfless girl with a big heart who gave you more than you deserved. You took advantage of her until you sucked the life out of her. Shame on you.

You can be sure that when you least expect it, the memory of her is going to creep in and you will long for her loving touch and the way she looked at you.

Because she looked at you and made you feel relevant, it made you feel like you had potential. She made you feel loved and you never felt love like hers before. You’re going to miss all of her so much is going to drive you off the wall.

She will no longer be there for you and you’ll realize how much you actually need her in your life.

You’ll wish you would have appreciated her sooner, you’ll wish you hugged her and kissed her every time she spent the night sleeping next to you.

You’re going to miss how she always went out of the way to cater to your needs and make you happy. You were so used to her making you the center of her world, you didn’t realize how she was the only one around you making you a priority.

No one cares for you as much as she did and you know it. You’re going to feel it the most when you have no one to turn to when you need cheering or a simple pad in the back.

Her absence will be so painful it will punish you for every single time you did her wrong. You’ll ask yourself a million times why you couldn’t see how much she meant to you. There’s no going back, you lost your chance, she was the one for you and you let her slip away.

You’ll experience heartache for the first time and you will be the only one to blame for it.

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The Struggle Of Trying To Forget Someone You Truly Love

When a love so intense and pure blooms in your heart, you can never make it disappear out of existence when the relationship ends. Love’s a force that is so powerful that it could never be extinguished. You can tame your heart from yearning for what you’ve lost, but you can never truly erase the impact that loving so intensely has on your heart and soul.  

You should come to terms with the fact that forgetting someone you love is only possible if your love was never unconditional. 

But you loved passionately and intensely, so all you can really do is try to compromise with your heart on how you’ll begin to live with the memories that he left behind; the sound of his voice and how amazing it felt when he caressed your hair.

He ignited all your senses, so it’s almost as if the DNA of his soul has made its way through yours and found a forever home.

You can try to be practical with your feelings towards that person and negotiate with your heart on how much thinking about the past can be detrimental to your heart.

It won’t happen overnight, but one day soon, you’ll begin to notice that the thought of him doesn’t sting anymore.

Because the truth is, the past stays in the past, the good and bad. As much as it might hurt, even if he was the most amazing person your soul has ever come to known, he was just a chapter in your life.

Coping with the pain every time the memory of him lurks in is all you can do because forgetting the love that you shared is futile.

Right now the love that lives in your heart is more powerful than any logic that you might want to inject to your overthinking mind so that you can stop the pain.

Rational thinking has no place in how your emotions work, especially in those days you miss him most.

You might fear that you will never be able to live without the pressure on your chest that makes you hold your breath at the thought of him, screaming for one last kiss.

But closure is not something you will find outside of yourself. It will not come from him, it will happen when you choose to let your emotions run its natural course, pain and all. So be strong and patient with your heart.

You will be able to live without him and with the memory of what you had. He was not meant to be your forever, even if you think that no one else will be able to see right through you as he did.

The truth is, the love you have for him and all the memories that you’ve built are eternal but the pain of losing him is not.

You will move on and you’ll be able to see the big picture. Embrace where you are with your feelings right now. Those feelings are just an indication of your ability to love, so don’t let them break you.

Instead, let your ability to love to show you how much you can grow from loving and losing him. Because in the end, your heart is big enough to love as many times as you possibly can and to hold all those memories in a special place in your heart forever.

If Your Heart Feels Permanently Bound to Him, Read This

Love really never proved to be on your side in the past, but you never gave up on it. And no matter what happened in your life, you kept an open mind and a giving heart. It doesn’t really make sense and it’s definitely nowhere near fair.

You had your life, and sure there were things you wish you could change or struggles you could live without, but you did the best you could and found your “happy enough”.

But even so, you never expected that an extraordinary love could make its way into the cracks of your heart, so when he came along, your world just turned upside down.

He promised a future you only ever dreamt about.

You felt safe with him but also, like you were on the adventure of a lifetime. He loved you in a way no other person, let alone man ever had.

Your life felt purposeful and your love felt meaningful.

This wasn’t some mediocre love you could control, it just felt bigger than the two of you.

So when it got too big for him to handle, he walked away.

You had your life, you were happy with it, but you never settled and still you feel punished.

It’s not your fault, and you didn’t deserve to feel something so magical for only a short bit of time just have to return to a life without it. That’s not an easy thing to cope with, especially when none of it was what you wanted.

And even if you know, deep down, that he’s not the one, or that you can do better, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong to hurt or even still want what you had.

It may not have been a forever kind of love, but none the less you felt the strength and potential of love and how it can change every aspect of your life. And that is just not something you move on from.

You carry that feeling in your heart forever, and you should never be ashamed of that. He gave you that feeling, so whether you want to or not, there will just always be a connection to him.

And right now, it may be unbearably painful to feel like you may never get him out of your heart but when your heart heals and doesn’t feel so heavy, you’ll be glad to have the extra weight.

Because there will come a time when you stop religiously checking his social media accounts or waiting for a text from him.

Even the thought of another moment without him won’t overwhelm you. It won’t happen at once, but there will be a day when you’re more focused on your life that you slowly let go of him as the person you were supposed to spend forever with.

So for now, love him as long as you need to because one day he will be an important piece of the puzzle. One day, you will remember how he made you feel loved, and you will remember this heartbreak and you will know exactly what you want from someone else.

One day all the pieces will fit together, and you’ll really truly feel a love you’ll never have to live without.

Him Leaving Wasn’t The End Of The World But Rather A New Beginning

Him leaving tore you apart. It hurts more than you imagined and you don’t where to go from here. He left you feeling like you did something wrong, like all the events that led to this moment are completely your fault. You feel like you’re not going to be able to move on, that you’re going to be unlovable and stuck in your current situation.

Him leaving you despite it all was not a bad thing. In fact, it may have been a blessing in disguise.

Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t really love you, or doesn’t see all the good in you? His leaving gave you an opportunity to find the one who is going to love you with so much love that you aren’t going to know what hit you. He’s going to show you that the pain you’re feeling now was worth it in the end.

It’s also going to give you time to focus on yourself and the things you want in life. Take time and figure out the things that are important to you. Whether it’s work, school, traveling, friends or finding a new hobby.

His leaving wasn’t the end of your world, I know it feels like it. However, it’s just an end of a chapter in your book of life.

You have to stop crying, stop waiting for him to come back to you and to make it right, chances are, he isn’t going to. He doesn’t deserve the tears you’ve been crying, he doesn’t deserve to go out and have fun with his friends while you’re lying around on the couch sulking over him.

You have to get back out there, buy a new outfit, paint that gorgeous smile on your face and start enjoying your life again. You only have one life to live and I promise you it’s time to start living it again.

One day soon it’s gonna hit you that he did you a favor.

When he finally realizes that he gave up on true love, someone else is already going to have started building you back up. You’ll already be on the path of creating new memories with someone else.

So embrace the heartache. I  know it’s terrible but it makes you a stronger and wiser woman. Let yourself feel everything you need to heal and then move forward. Tomorrow is always a new day, and it’s your day.

So put on that smile that’s been missing. You’re beautiful, so go out and show the world the happy girl we all know is in there.

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The Truth Is, It’s Not Your Fault He’s Not Ready To Commit His Heart To Yours

“Love cannot be measured by how long you wait; it’s about how well you understand why you’re waiting.” ~ Unknown

It has absolutely nothing to do with you. You haven’t done anything wrong, you just happened to be the one who has fallen in love with a man who’s not ready for love. He still has mountains he wants to conquer before he thinks he’s ready to love you back.

It wasn’t that you exposed too much of your heart, or that you kissed him too sweetly. You didn’t even scared him off or asked for too much.

My dear, the hardest thing to hear is that it’s not you at all. It’s him.

Love-readiness comes at different rates for men and women.

Women are taught to follow the call of their hearts and that the rest will work out later; men are taught to be stable providers for the families that they hope to someday have. It’s this ingrained thinking that we’ve internalized over this lifetime and taken on the burden and responsibility for.

The thing is that it won’t do any good trying to change him—or his mind—about such matters. The only choice you have to make is if you’re going to love him and stick with him until he’s ready. Or if you are ready to walk away for good and hope he finds love one day with someone new.

It’s easy to say if he truly wanted you, he would be with you now.

But we know that matters of the heart are seldom easy. Sometimes, we have to look at the reasons why he’s not ready—not from a place of our own wants or egos, but on his level, and in appreciation and admiration for the man that he is. That means if he doesn’t think he’s ready, then you have to support him if you truly love him.

Those who say that women should never wait around for a man have never really met a man worth waiting for.

I know you understand this, and perhaps your eyes started stinging with tears as you read a truth that you haven’t wanted to speak aloud.

The reality is that sometimes someone comes along and is so special and different that we fall in love without meaning to. Maybe we fell before either of us were ready—but if he is worth loving, then he is also worth waiting for.

There are no guarantees in this life.

If you find yourself having tried to move on from this man or rationalize why you shouldn’t wait for him by making light of his best qualities, then perhaps it’s time to finally admit that he’s not ready for love. Maybe the only thing you can do now is simply to wait.

But remember this—waiting doesn’t mean locking yourself away like Rapunzel in a tower high away from the world and everyone else. It only means you should dedicate yourself to your life and growth as much as he is currently doing.

Match his efforts in your own life—because darling, you’re not going to be ready for him unless you do just that.

It’s sometimes easier to see a break between chapters as the end of the story because who really wants to wait for what it is we most want. When it comes to matters of the heart, we usually want it right now. There is also truth to the statement that those things worth having the most are also worth the wait.

There is something so magnetizing about a man who wants to be better and do better.

He’s a man who wants to grow so that he will be your match when he finally steps toward you.

Stop thinking that just because he’s not next to you as you fall asleep that you’re not on his mind, because most likely you are. Don’t speculate when you send a message or call and there’s no response that it means he’s not interested because whether you receive a reply or not, he’s heard you and he’s taking it all in.

As women, we sometimes censor ourselves based on what we think a man can handle, or what we think he wants from us—yet, this is not how we find ourselves in love.

In order to be true to ourselves, that means we have to lead with our hearts.

We have to say those things that are on our minds, even if at times they seem impossible to speak. We have to honor what our heart feels, even if that means we are alone right now.

There is a big difference between a man that isn’t interested—and one who is just simply not ready.

The biggest mistake you can make is to try and replace him, thinking that the attention from just anyone will fill that hole you have in your heart that is waiting for him. It’s not a matter of if you can find someone else, but whether you trust yourself enough to wait on what you know you feel.

To wait is never an easy decision, and it’s one that has to be continually made because at times it seems it would be so much easier to just try and forget about this man who stole your heart—but easy doesn’t always mean it’s the right choice. The more you honor yourself, the more you honor your choices about your heart and who you love.

Maybe he’s never exactly asked you to wait—but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t make him sick to think of another man holding you close and kissing you.

You do have a choice though, you always have a choice.

Sometimes it really comes down to whether you love him enough to wait—because he cares for you enough to want to be the best man that he can be when he finally shows you his heart. It may not be easy, and a happy ending is not guaranteed.

If you do truly love him—then how could you ever be with anyone else anyway?

If You Keep Forgiving Him And He Doesn’t Change, This Is For You

There’s no easy breakup and nobody wants to go through it unless it’s necessary, especially when we’ve been so invested in the relationship.

I tried absolutely everything to never experience the end.

The truth is, there comes a point where enough is enough. You shouldn’t keep fighting for someone who’s not learning from past mistakes and is comfortable being less than what you truly deserve.

You might conjure up every possible rationalization for his lack of effort to continue staying with him, but nothing can change the fact that he’s not going to change.

The relationship won’t change. It’s over and the best thing for you to do is walk away and move on.

Yes, It’s hard to admit that no matter how much you loved this person, it didn’t seem to be enough for him to love you back. He had endless chances to do the right thing, to change his ways and be fair to you and the relationship, but he didn’t.

You even took some of the responsibility because you didn’t want to seem pushy or overly dramatic.

You catered to his needs because you thought that your unconditional love would change him. He was worth trying your hardest to make things work, at least that’s what you thought.

You gave him the benefit of the doubt, you were patient, kind and understanding.

The thing is, the relationship might have been doomed from the beginning.

He is who he is, who he wants to always be and he never had the intention to change. You loved this person so much, you became blind to all the signs that were clearly telling you that he was going to step all over your heart. Unfortunately, he was never going to be the one for you.

You were in love with the idea of him, you were not in love with him.

So, everything that you think you’re missing about him is not real. The truth is, he couldn’t possibly be the man of your dreams if he didn’t measure up to your ideal.

He didn’t appreciate you, so he didn’t treat you with the loyalty and respect that you deserve. So, when you think of him, remember that he was never capable of changing. He was never going to be able to be the person that was going to make you feel whole.

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