Tag: help

Summertime First Aid: 5 Things You Need To Know

Summertime comes with sunshine, ice cream, short dresses, and getaways. You could do many amazing things for fun and relaxation during the blissful days of summer. But, whether you’re raring to sit by the poolside lazily, take a walk on the beach, or go out hiking, summer fun can quickly turn tragic if you’re unprepared. 

First aid can quickly treat common summertime injuries, including sports wounds, heat-related illnesses, bicycle injuries, playground injuries, and the like. However, the secret is to have some knowledge of first aid.

To help you with this, here are some things you need to know about summertime first aid:

 

1. Have A First Aid Kit Handy 

A first aid kit is essential for the first response to any unexpected situation or injury. You, therefore, have to ensure that you always have one in case of an emergency. Having multiple kits could help ensure that there’s always one handy when needed. Ideally, you should have one first aid kit at home and another in your car. If you’re going outdoors for activities like hiking or cycling, be sure to go out with a portable first aid kit.

Having a first aid kit is one thing, but having the right one is another. Ready-made first aid kits are typically available in drugstores and supermarkets. Otherwise, you could make your own kit at home if you like.

First aid kits typically contain:

  • painkillers 
  • antiseptic wipes
  • antibiotics
  • antihistamines
  • band-aids
  • adhesive tape
  • eye solution
  • gloves
  • gauze
  • thermometer
  • scissors

Always ensure that your first aid kit contains everything your family might need. For example, if you have a family member who suffers from allergies or particular medical conditions, your first aid kit must contain their medication. If your group will be out hiking or, basically, any activity, it’d be wise to have some sugar tong splints in your first aid kit, which can be especially helpful if someone injures their forearm or wrist. For the uninitiated, sugar tong splints can be single or double.

 

2. First Aid For Heat Injuries

Because summertime can expose you to some extreme heat, you and your loved ones are prone to some heat-related injuries. Exposure to too much sun may lead to emergencies, such as heat exhaustion, dehydration, heatstroke, and heat cramps. Some common symptoms of these conditions include fainting, dizziness, muscle cramps and tightening, nausea, headaches, and fatigue. If these symptoms aren’t quickly treated, they could quickly escalate into more severe conditions.

If you suspect your loved one is experiencing some heat injuries, get them to a cool place as quickly as possible and find ways to cool their body. You could use some water spray or place a wet cloth over their body to help reduce their body temperature. Next, you could try to rehydrate them by getting them to take electrolytes-replenishing beverages.

If you feel that the symptoms are persisting, then it’s time to call 911. Otherwise, they say prevention is better than cure. So, whenever you’re outside in the summer heat, try to protect yourself from too much exposure to heat. You can do so by taking plenty of water, applying sunscreen, and wearing protective gear, such as hats and sunglasses. If possible, they say you should try and avoid doing some outdoor activities during heat peak hours.

 

3. First Aid For Snake And Insect Bites 

In some areas, summer often brings out poisonous creatures, such as snakes, spiders, and insects. If you’re not familiar with these, it’s advised to consider all of them poisonous. If you or a loved one was bitten, look out for the following symptoms and safety tips:

  • Insect bites – If the bite comes with severe pain, muscle cramps, fever, and headache, vomiting, and breathing problems, then you need to call 911. While you wait for emergency services to arrive, clean the bite area with soap and water, and apply a cold compress on it. 
  • Snake bites – First, you should secure the area and ensure that the snake will not strike again. If you can, back away slowly and avoid going near it. Keep calm and, if possible, clean the bite area with some running water and soap. If the bite leads to pain, swelling, sweating, nausea, vomiting, and confusion, quickly call 911.

 

4. Performing Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation (CPR)

It’s possible that during some summer activities, someone could experience cardiac arrest. This is when the heart immediately stops pumping blood. When the heart stops pumping, the lungs are said to stop supplying oxygen to your body. Consequently, the brain is believed to be starved of oxygen, which causes one to stop breathing and fall unconscious. 

When someone falls into cardiac arrest, immediate help could spell the difference between life and death. One of the proven ways to quickly help someone who’s suffering from cardiac arrest is through CPR. 

When administering CPR, it’s advised that the first thing to do is to stay calm and assess the situation. You have to be sure that the patient needs it before you begin. When someone needs CPR, they typically face difficulty breathing and are usually unresponsive.

The steps to performing CPR are as follows:

  • Call 911 or ask someone else to do it.
  • Lay the person on their back. 
  • Open their airways.
  • Check if they’re breathing.
  • If not, put the heel of your hand on their chest and your other hand on top of it. 
  • Perform about 30 chest compressions.
  • Do two rescue breaths. 
  • Repeat the cycle until professional help arrives.

 

5. First Aid For Drowning

Summer temperatures are often perfect for a dip in the swimming pool. But unfortunately, this comes at a high risk of drowning for both children and adults. Drowning could quickly turn tragic with poor safety precautions and a lack of first aid response. 

Apart from taking preventive measures, such as safety-proofing your swimming pool, you must be prepared for drowning incidents. If one of your loved ones accidentally drowned, here are the first aid steps to follow:

  • Call 911 and ask for help. 
  • If the person is conscious, roll them to ensure that they don’t choke when water regurgitates. 

If the victim is unconscious:

  • Call for an ambulance. 
  • Perform CPR compressions. 
  • Tilt their head back.
  • Lift their chin.
  • Open their mouth.
  • Pinch their nose. 
  • Administer two resuscitation breaths.
  • Wait for their chest to rise and fall.
  • Repeat the procedure until medical help arrives or until they’ve regained consciousness.

 

Conclusion

Summertime accidents are quite uncommon, but what can spell the difference between serious and minor injuries is preparation. Anyone can be a victim of an accident that requires first aid, so stay prepared to help. The results of your first aid efforts may not always be in your control, but giving someone a fighting chance is worth the effort.

 

Addiction And Cravings: How Exposure To Nature Helps

Addiction recovery comes with cravings.

Addiction treatment has several approaches. It includes both medication and therapies. Most addiction treatment programs include some tools to handle cravings and accelerate sobriety.

What many of us might not know is that nature has a powerful impact on combating addiction and cravings. This is why rehab in Dallas by Infinite Recovery is situated in the middle of nature, as it exposes the patient to nature which has many benefits.

Japan’s ‘Forest Therapy’ Programs

In Japan, the policies regarding the conservation and protection of forests and green areas have taken off. You see, Japan is famous for its stressful and emotional work conditions, along with a high suicide rate in the concrete jungle.

So to address the mental health stigma of the country, the Forestry Agency of Japan sponsors the practice of ‘shinrin-yoku,’ or simply “forest bathing.”

Since 2004, Japan Forestry has invested around $4 million into forest therapy research. Research has found that simply being in nature can actually relieve stress along with increasing productivity.

By measuring the participants’ blood pressure and the number of the ‘natural killer’ or NK cells in their bodies, we can understand how forest therapy is helping them.

For your reference, we should mention that NK cells are those white blood cells that assist in preventing viral; infections and reject cancer and tumor cells.

After the policy implementation in Japan, South Korea has also spent approximately $140 million on a new National Forest Therapy Center. Some of the western countries, such as Finland, are also funding similar types of studies after the Japan forest therapy programs get some optimistic results.

For replicating these results, several Japan Forestry industry experts have been hired by a number of these programs.

Nature, Cravings, And Mental Health

From kids to adults, health experts always recommend that everyone spend time in nature. Now, individuals recovering from any type of substance abuse especially need to spend time in nature.

A study done by the University of Plymouth shows that there is actually a link between nature, reduced craving strength, and frequency of addiction. The link between mental health and nature is simply undeniable.

Nature can be both maintained or maintained by environmental green areas, for example, nature preserves and parks.

In urban areas, where people have greater access to nature, they usually have less anxiety and depression, less mental distress, healthier cortisol, and greater well-being than those living in urban areas with less green space.

Consistent exposure to green space from childhood can actually prevent some psychiatric disorders, such as preventing anxiety and preventing depression. However, the beneficial effect of exposure to nature is not limited to children.

While exposure to nature can effectively improve their mental health, green space also has a strong benefit for adults as well.

In urban settings, adults often deal with several stressors from family, work, a daily commute to bills, along with balancing home life. Because adults who are in the recovery process from any type of substance abuse also suffer from many stressors.

The stress can often result from focusing on healthy meeting attendance, maintaining sobriety, and step work. Nature is effective in reducing the stress that mostly triggers cravings. There is also a link between exercising and an increase in mental health along with reducing stress.

At the same time, we can not deny the connection between exercising and being outdoors. It is also true that everyone is not a fan of exercising or might be limited to exercise by the seasonal weather.

So to be clear, having access to nature or green space is beneficial, whether it is with exercise or without.

Mental Health And Substance Use Disorders

The connection between substance abuse and mental health has been a long topic of discussion, particularly in recent years. Mental health disorders can trigger substance abuse disorders, and mental health disorders also can be triggered by substance abuse disorders.

Addiction is a threefold disease, which affects the body, mind, and spirit all, and thus the treatment also includes treating all these three.

Just like any other mental disorder, addiction is also treatable. As we have mentioned earlier, mental health and addiction are interconnected. When you are getting a part of nature, your mental health improves, and it helps in dealing with substance abuse cravings.

Nature and green space have calming effects on both our bodies and minds. Even the color green soothes not only our eyes but also the green nature soothes our mind and soul.

Exposure To Nature Alleviates Cravings

The exact reason behind green spaces assisting in alleviating unhealthy cravings has not been declared yet; the effectiveness is proven. While everyone does not go with holistic recovery, there are also some individuals who are more into the 12-step meetings or therapy.

However, nature can work wonderfully in treating mental health issues. Research has shown that individuals who have visibility of green spaces from their homes and also have access to green spaces in their neighborhoods have less frequency and intensity of cravings.

This craving applies not only to drugs and alcohol but also to nicotine and unhealthy foods.

Incorporate Green Space Into Your Daily Life To Recover From Addiction

Some of us are not lucky enough to have access to nature or at least a small green space. We are either living in extremely urbanized areas or having longer work schedules.

That is why we are here to guide you on how to incorporate green space into your daily life and recover from drugs or alcohol.

  • Visit your local park.
  • In your home, open your curtains and see the outside greenery.
  • HavegGreen spaces in your home and office.
  • Opt for a 12-step fellowship meeting that is outdoors.
  • Make some time and visit the local reserves and parks.
  • Start a community garden.
  • Go for a walk around your community.
  • During the weekdays, if weather permits, eat your lunch outdoors.
  • In case you have dogs, take them to the nearest dog park.
  • Try a leisure activity outdoors on the weekend, such as step work, reading, or meditation.

 

All the benefits of being outdoors and seeing nature are extremely helpful. Spend some time in the lap of nature, even though it is just a short amount of time per day. Nature is free and full of benefits. And paired with the decrease in strong, lasting cravings for drugs and alcohol, it can significantly improve your mental health.

He’s Never Going To Be The Man You Want Him To Be

The Man You Want

You love him, you love him with all of your heart. You think that he is “the one,” the person that you can spend the rest of your life with. But, there’s something inside of you that is holding you back—that is making you second guess where you are and where you’re going.

 

It’s that little trickle of doubt that keeps you up at night when he doesn’t come home on time when he isn’t answering your calls, when he takes too long to answer your texts.

 

When we love people, we always try to see the best in them—think of it as wearing rose-colored glasses. We see everything in bright shades of pinks and reds—looking at everything as though it’s sunshine and rainbows.

We don’t want to be bothered with the harrowing realities of seeing the truth in people, their true colors and who they are. And we try to end fights as soon as they begin—we’d rather go back to happier times when we’re laughing than those sad times of misery.

 

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Help Your LGBTQ Friend to Overcome Drug Addiction

Having an LGBTQ friend that is addicted to drugs can feel overwhelming. You may sincerely desire to assist them to overcome addiction but not know how to help or what exactly to do. If you bring the wrong attitude or say something wrong, they can easily feel hurt. That’s because most LGBTQ people are super volatile.

However, the concern and fear of not providing support are real. Ultimately, if your friend needs help to overcome addiction, you should provide it because substance use disorder will destroy their life completely if they don’t get assistance.

Therefore, knowing the right action to take and the words to use is very important. Today, a specialized gay rehab can offer the help that these people need to overcome addiction. If you have a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning friend that is addicted to drugs, help them seek treatment in these centers. These facilities offer customized services that meet the special needs of the LGBTQ people with the drug addiction problem.

Why LGBTQ People Are Vulnerable to Addiction

Individuals that identify themselves as LGBTQ are likely to face verbal harassment, social stigma, and social rejection than individuals that identify themselves as heterosexual. Family members, friends, and loved ones can be the source of rejection or judgment in the lives of the LGBTQ people. This can easily cause mental health issues, stress, anxiety, and even substance abuse.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that members of the LGBTQ community struggle with drug addiction and alcoholism more than the general population. According to these centers, LGBTQ adults are twice likely to abuse drugs and alcohol when compared to heterosexual individuals.

Here are statistics that reveal the truth about the drug addiction issue among the members of the LGBTQ community:

  • 20-30% of LGBTQ individuals abuse substances.
  • 25% of LGBT individuals abuse alcohol.
  • Transgender and gay individuals smoke tobacco up to 200% more than non-transgender and heterosexual people.
  • LGBTQ teens are 6 times more likely to have depression symptoms than the general population.

The society is slowly trying to improve equality for all people including the LGBTQ community. However, members of the LGBTQ community still face discrimination, social stigma, and prejudice at school, workplace, and in their interpersonal relationships.

Ways to Help Your LGBTQ Friend Overcome Drug Addiction

Most members of the LGBTQ community have difficulty seeking help with drug addiction due to the fear of discrimination and judgment even from people that can assist them. However, there are LGBT-friendly rehab centers where these people can seek help without this fear. Therefore, if your LGBTQ friend is ready to seek help with drug addiction, guide them in finding one of these facilities. If they are not, try the following.

Develop a Positive Relationship

It’s important to create an environment that enables your LGBTQ friend to open up about their addiction problem. This will make them feel comfortable to share their problems with you. Therefore, establish a positive relationship and make your friend comfortable to share on any topic with you.

Talk about things like:

  • Gender identity and sexual orientation.
  • Alcohol and drug use.
  • School or work experiences.
  • Stressors that you both may be facing in life.

Such conversations will make your LGBTQ friend feel supported. They will trust you and feel that you are ready to listen and assist them in overcoming challenges that could have led to their addiction. Regular check-ins can make monitoring the behavior of your friend easy.

Help Your LGBTQ Friend Deal with Stressors

Be active in helping your friend deal with the stressors they are experiencing in life. Lack of LGBTQ-inclusive resources, negative school or work experiences, and harassment can lead to drug abuse. Understand that the LGBTQ community members experience extensive discrimination in both the public domain and personal relationships. Research has shown that LGBTQ persons that have experienced different types of discrimination are 4 times likely to develop a substance abuse disorder.

This can be attributed to factors like:

  • Exclusion from social activities and groups.
  • Physical abuse by partners or family members.
  • Rejection by spiritual community or family.
  • Los of job, child customer, and other forms of public discrimination.
  • Violence based on gender identification or sexual orientation.
  • Peer rejection and ridicule.
  • Sexuality discrimination in combination with other types of discrimination like race, gender, and religion.

If such stressors are the cause of substance abuse and addiction for your LGBTQ friend, help in addressing them. For instance, you can work with their school to help in the creation and implementation of anti-bullying policies and supportive resources for the LGBTQ people. You can also suggest organizations that your friend can join to interact with LGBTQ people.

Stage an Intervene

Whether your LGBT friend agrees that they have a drug addiction problem or not, it’s your responsibility to help them. If they agree that drug addiction is a problem they need assistance for, connect them with a reliable LGBT rehab. This will offer treatment in an LGBTQ-friendly environment and eventually connect them with a broader support network.

But if your friend does not agree that they have an addiction problem, let them know that you won’t stop trying to help them. You can talk to their family members or friends that you trust and confront the addicted friend together. Plan how to do it carefully so that the addicted friend doesn’t feel like you are attacking them. Remember that a wrong approach can make the person abuse drugs even more and ruin your friendship. If they eventually agree to seek assistance, look for an LGBT drug rehab that suits their addiction treatment needs.

Just like addiction treatment for heterosexual people, most LGBTQ addiction treatment programs start with detoxification. This helps with the elimination of problematic substances from the body of the patient. Therapies, counseling, and other forms of treatment follow to help the patient recover from addiction and lead a drug-free life.

The Bottom Line

Many factors lead members of the LGBTQ community to drug abuse and subsequent addiction. If you have an LGBTQ friend that is addicted to drugs, there are ways you can help them overcome the problem. Start by developing a positive relationship with them to ensure that they can open up and comfortably talk about the causes of their addiction. Advise them to seek assistance and if they don’t agree, stage an intervention. Once they agree to get help, find a rehab that provides LGBT addiction treatment that suits their recovery needs.

Homeless Man Leaves Touching Sign Thanking Kind Strangers After Getting a Job

Most of us are so lucky that we’ll never know how hard it is to have to stand in the street and ask strangers for help. But there are so many people who have to do just that, for so many different reasons. They’ve fallen on hard times or lost their job or even their homes, and now they have to rely on the kindness of people they don’t even know.

Talia Schlanger, the host of “World Cafe” on NPR, shared a tweet about a man she’d see asking for help on the street who one day wasn’t at the spot where she usually saw him. She tweeted the circumstances: “For the past year, a very nice man has been standing on the bridge that’s on my way to work with a sign saying he was having a hard time and could use a hand. Today, this is what it read.” And she included a picture of a cardboard sign written in marker that said, “My last week out here I got a job thank you to everyone who has helped during this hard time.”

How nice is it that the man left a thank you note? The sign served not only as a way to show appreciation but also as an explanation to anyone who might have gotten used to seeing him and possibly chatting with him and would be worried that he just suddenly disappeared.

Schlanger followed up the tweet with more information. She wrote that he got hired by a man in New Jersey to build cabinets and was given a place to stay during the job by the same man.

People on Twitter responded to Schlanger’s tweet because they were so moved.

One person asked if she knew the name of the company that hired him, saying they deserved extra customers.

Schlanger’s post was retweeted by the Kale Salad account, and it was also posted on their Instagram, where it received almost 250,000 likes.

And a whole lot of comments!

It’s nice to see some good news to counter all the bad.

h/t: TanksGoodNews

20 Things That Will Actually Help Alleviate Your Anxiety When It’s At Its Worst

Anxiety is not something that is easy to deal with—especially on an everyday basis. For those who suffer from anxiety and anxiety disorders, they know that coping with the illness when it is at its worst can be the hardest part. Trying to “talk yourself down” or prevent an anxiety attack can be near impossible for many individuals. That’s why some users on Reddit seek outside advice and help on the site from those who also deal with anxiety and all of its problems. u/sailorv1993 asked Reddit users to share what helps them when everything seems too much and, some of the responses will really help you navigate your own anxiety, too.

1.

I know a lot of times when I’m feeling super anxious about something my brain just flips the “everything is terrible and going wrong and nothing is right” switch, and it’s just a downward spiral. Learning to just let myself feel every emotion, even if I know it’s just the anxiety talking has helped me work through the attacks. Validate yourself and your feeling, let yourself feel whatever your brain is throwing at you, and then when you’re calmer you can sort through the emotions. It’s helped me a lot.

–godoftitsandsangria

2.

Focusing on my breathing and then if that doesn’t work, physically stepping away/leaving the situation. Also carrying around a water and taking a sip when I need to ground myself

–cmccx

3.

Music. Lots and lots of music.

–Tylord2

4.

oddly enough, cleaning and organizing things/rooms.

–makidee33

5.

Taking a lap. When I feel like the walls are closing in, I excuse myself from wherever I am and go for a walk around the block to get fresh air and a little exercise. If this isn’t an option, I discreetly take a benzo and do some breathing exercises (there are some apps that help if you aren’t familiar!).

–vagsquad

6.

My friend got me out of a panic attack pretty quickly by just having me focus on my hands. Placing them on the table, raising above my head. It re-centers your brain almost like a reboot because for me at least a panic attack is when my anxiety gets so high my brain short circuits and everything is in overdrive.

–pearljune1

7.

Meditation and deep breathing. It sounds cliche, I know, but trust me it works. Learn it.

–bawzzz

8.

My big, 72-pound, rescue dog. It’s like he just knows when I’m having a hard time and will come lay with me… literally just came down the stairs to check on me as I typed this.

–hermi0ninny

9.

Small, manageable goals. If I’m having a panic attack, I just have to accept that it’s happening and focus on breathing. It will always pass. If it’s looping thoughts or rising anxiety, I try to focus on factual positives. Things are rarely ever as bad as my brain would have be believe.

–Smched

10.

Going in a bathroom and putting my hands under running water.

–Thecookieisalie

11.

Grounding exercises are what I have to do when I get panicky count 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Then close your eyes and breathe slowly, rinse and repeat.

-Aurum555

12.

Sitting in the shower.

–cayebaye

13.

I just think to myself: “But will I die?”

The answer is always no. I may be anxious about something, but I know I can get through it. It helps.

–Aetas800

14.

Crying. I know it sounds weird but its instant relief for me. You just gotta let it out.

–Ilikesticks45

15.

My wife’s heartbeat. There’s lots of little things that can help, but hearing that works the best.

–urosko

16.

My worst anxiety occurs during inaction, so I look to do something marginally productive like sweep the floor, make a snack, or shave. Obviously this is useful if the anxiety is due to being overwhelmed, but it works for me when feeling anxious about less tangible things as well. Even the most insignificant or minute task is better than sitting in anxiety, but the more lengthy and involved, the better relief (and sense of accomplishment).

-username_offline

17.

I know this might sound stupid but what helps me is calling myself out. If I’m starting to get an attack I start to go through emotions out of nowhere like over thinking or just wanting to punch a wall for no reason. And when I’m feeling them I just say wait a minute Why am I mad in the first place that’s stupid of me. Or even just telling myself hey don’t be sad there’s no point. But if I forget to do this and I’m in a public setting I close my eyes and count to 10 and I even sometimes breath in hold my breath for 5 or 10 seconds and breath out like u would if u where using a inhaler.

–Princessclaya2

18.

CBD oil. It takes the edge off.

–zenaa21

19.

I have a conversation with myself. I ask why I’m anxious, reasons why I should be anxious, reasons why I shouldn’t, why I’m afraid, how I should deal with it, etc.

Then I just give myself a pep talk afterwards and give myself encouragement that everything will be okay and I’m doing my best. Sometimes it works but other times the anxiety is overwhelming so I just acknowledge it’s there and force myself to go on with my day and take deep breaths throughout and try not to get angry.

On the medication side, beta blockers has helped me significantly for super intense moments.

–pineapplebuttface

20.

Silence and holding perfectly still. The latter is complicated by the need for oxygen, so I breathe as slowly and with as little movement as possible. After a minute or two I can usually segue to deeper breathing and carefully controlled stretching, and then to normal movement again.

–Dandibear

19 Blow Job Tips To Guarantee You Blow His Mind Every Single Time

When it comes to pleasuring our man, we all want to make sure that we’re giving it our very best. While we think that we know the “best way” to do things, sometimes our idea of what’s best isn’t what their idea is.
Continue reading 19 Blow Job Tips To Guarantee You Blow His Mind Every Single Time

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10 Things You Can Expect If You’re Dating A Woman With Anxiety

You don’t see it on our faces when we meet for our first date. It’s not something we wear on our sleeve when you take us home for the first time. On the surface, we seem cool, calm and collected when you lean in for our first kiss. When we text at night, there’s no trace of it through our words. Our voice doesn’t shake when you call to ask how our day is going. You can’t even see it when we pack for our first trip together. Slowly, but surely as time passes through our relationship, it creeps out in bits and pieces–asking to be addressed.

We begin to ask you things over and over, wanting reassurance in where we are. We start to overanalyze and knit-pick at our relationship, even when nothing’s wrong. We begin to worry about things that, to you seem irrational, but to us, seem normal. We lose sleep. We can’t eat. We start to change. Slowly, but surely, a third person enters our relationship uninvited.

Our anxiety.

Living with anxiety isn’t something that we sign up for. It’s not something we wanted to brand ourselves with, like getting a piercing or a tattoo. We didn’t ask to be diagnosed with a condition that hinders our everyday lives. But the reality of the situation is, our anxiety isn’t something that is going to go away overnight. Some days, we hardly even know it’s there. But there are other days that are bad–really bad. We can’t get out of bed. We can’t stop the worry. We hyperventilate just to make it through the day.

Dating a girl with anxiety isn’t easy.

It’s not going to be the same kind of relationship you’ve had with other women in the past. Nothing is going to be “simple.” But, that doesn’t mean that everything has to be all doom and gloom. Girls with anxiety love hard, and they live fiercely. They will protect you and stand by you through the storm at all costs. They will always, always support you because they know firsthand how much support truly matters. There are a lot of things you’re going to have to do differently when you date someone with anxiety.

10. You’ll need to practice patience.

When anxiety strikes, it’s important to know that we’re scared, unhappy, and feel incredibly embarrassed sometimes. Anxiety can hit us at any time, anywhere. We could be having a great time and all of the sudden–bam–we’re hit with a wave of anxiety and it feels as though we’re struggling to get to the surface of the water we’re drowning in.

It’s not ideal for us to get anxiety when we’re out on a date, having fun. It’s a burden when we’re with friends and we need to leave early. And, it totally sucks when we get hit with an anxiety attack while we’re on a trip together. Instead of getting annoyed and frustrated with us–practice patience. Katharina Star, PhD says that:

When dating a person with panic disorder, it is best to remain patient when your partner is faced with panic attacks and anxiety. Let them know that you are there for them and that you have their safety and welfare in mind.

Giving us time to regather ourselves, our thoughts, and our minds is always appreciated.

9. You can’t tell her to just “calm down.”

Telling someone with anxiety to just “calm down” is something that universally is looked down on. By saying this when your partner’s anxiety is really bad, you give them the notion that you’re belittling their disorder and downplaying it. It shows her that you don’t realy care that they’re going through something this hard and, that you think it’s preventable. In reality, it’s just not. Jennifer Rollin MSW, LCSW-C  points out that telling someone with anxiety to calm down is amongst four things you should never say to them.

Telling someone with an anxiety disorder to “calm down,” is akin to telling someone with allergies to “stop sneezing.” Mental illnesses are not a choice. No one would choose to feel paralyzing levels of anxiety, and if the person was able to control their anxiety, they would. Telling someone to “calm down” is invalidating to the person who is struggling and insinuates that they are deciding to have their anxiety disorder. Instead, try asking the person what you can do to support them. It could be beneficial to ask the person this question when they are relaxed, rather than waiting until they are in a state of heightened anxiety.

8. She’s going to need reassurance. Give it to her.

Many women who have anxiety experience moments of overthinking and stress. We wonder if you’re still all-in with us, even when we’re at our worst. When our anxiety gets really bad, we think that you’re going to run for the hills–even if you’ve never dropped hints of this at all. It will become annoying and be aggravating for you when she asks question after question, but understand she’s looking for some sense of control. She wants to feel as though she has control over her own life and what is happening and, giving her the answers she’s seeking can help her regain that control and confidence.

7. Listen. Listen. Listen.

No matter how much you think you know about your partner, there may be things you have no idea about. Certain times, they may look as though they’re completely fine but on the inside, they’re going through a war. The best thing you can do in a relationship when your partner has anxiety is always listen to what they have to say. And, don’t just half-listen, trying to prove to her or anyone else that you are doing the right thing–really listen. And, when she’s ready, asking the right questions to understand her anxiety better will help you both in the long run. Joel L. Young M.D. points out that by asking the right questions, you’ll be able to truly understand your partner and her relationship to her condition better.

If you want to know something, ask your loved one first, and then be sure to intently listen to his or her answer. Some questions to ask include:

-Is there anything I can do to help you with this diagnosis?
-What’s it like for you to have this condition?
-How do you feel about the treatment options available to you?
-Does having a diagnosis make you feel better or worse?
-Is there anything you think I need to understand about the challenges you face?

6. You can’t get angry at her because of her anxiety.

Sometimes, your partner’s anxiety will make you angry and upset because there’s no way you can truly stop it and make it disappear. But, no matter how upset or angry you get–you can’t get mad at her for having anxiety. You can be mad at the situation, but you can’t attack her based on your desire to make her better. Barbara Markway Ph.D. points out:

This can be a difficult distinction to make, but it’s important. Attacking a person’s character or personhood can further damage shaky self-esteem. Perhaps you’re angry that once again, you’re attending the employee picnic alone, or not going at all. Your partner is fearful around large crowds of people and is not far enough along in treatment to go even for a little while. It’s natural for you to feel angry or even resentful. After all, you’re missing out on a lot of fun and the company of someone you care about.

Instead of getting angry, experts say communicating with your partner is best and addressing how the situation makes you feel–after you’ve had time to cool off.

5. You should remember it’s not personal.

When your partner constantly asks you questions over and over and looks at the relationship for reassurance and comfort, it can feel as though you’re the cause of the anxiety. Other times, your partner may be angry and frustrated at the situation in general–having anxiety all of the time can become exhausting. Realize, first and foremost, it’s nothing personal. Licensed therapist, Kayce Hodos says that it’s never personal.

“Anxiety can [also] often manifest as anger or frustration, but don’t assume he or she is upset with you. The biggest challenge you’re likely to face is feeling frustrated that you can’t fix it. You can offer support, but your partner is responsible for managing their symptoms, which can range from emotional responses, such as intense worrying and fear, to physical sensations, such as headaches or nausea. Hopefully, your partner has a good therapist, and you may need to find one, too. After all, you both need to be taking care of yourselves for your relationship to be healthy.”

4. It’ll help if you do some research.

The best thing someone can do if they don’t experience or have anxiety themselves is do their own research about the disorder. There are thousands of online articles, books, and resources that you can look over just to get an idea. According to Barbara Markway Ph.D.:

Anxiety disorders can be tricky because your partner may “look” perfectly normal at the same time they’re telling you they’re having a panic attack. This might cause you to minimize what your partner is going through. “Oh, you’re fine,” or “Just relax,” won’t be particularly helpful or well-received comments. Reading reputable books or information on the Internet can help you realize that anxiety disorders are very real, and fortunately, also treatable. See the Resources at the end of this post for places to get started.

3. But, you should know not all anxiety is the same.

While there is a ton of information on anxiety available to you online and in stores, it’s important to remember that no two people are exactly the same. While some anxiety symptoms are pretty universal and many people go through similar struggles–your partner’s anxiety may be completely unique and different for her. She may experience panic attacks differently than someone else, her triggers may vary, and she may have different ways of coping that work more so than others.

Although you should do some research online and know the signs, symptoms, and ways to help, realize that if it doesn’t work right away it’s not because of you, but maybe your partner just needs something different.

2. You should support her, but don’t suffocate her.

Showing support is important in terms of your relationship and helping your partner through her anxiety. However, don’t push her to talk and communicate if she’s not ready. Experts say that when your partner feels comfortable enough, she will come to you. Katharina Star, PhD points out:

Communicate to your partner that you are available to listen, but that you will not push them into discussing it until they feel ready. Additionally, do not bring up their disorder in front of others. Many panic sufferers chose to only tell trusted friends and family about their condition. It can cause embarrassment or other conflicts if you mention their struggle in a group setting.

Remember to be there, but not to put a label on your partner that she is only her anxiety.

1. You have to embrace solutions.

While you cannot necessarily “cure” your partner’s anxiety, you can help embrace positive solutions and suggestions to help make it better. This can mean a multitude of things. Doing things together that help her anxiety is one–like going to yoga or meditating together. Getting her a weighted blanket to ease her anxiety at night. Another is pushing her to go to therapy and speak to someone about her situation and condition. You can even suggest going to therapy together so that she sees you’re on board with supporting her and helping her through her anxiety. Experts say that couples therapy helps you both: 

Don’t be afraid to seek outside help for your relationship if warranted. This can be a good adjunct to the individual’s therapy for the anxiety disorder. Couples therapy promotes better communication skills, which can allow people to feel more at ease in a variety of typically anxiety-provoking situations. In addition, less stress at home creates a better environment in which to work on the treatment of an anxiety disorder.

Dating a girl with anxiety is hard, but here’s why it’s worth it.

Girls with anxiety are fierce, triumphant and cunning. They are unstoppable. They don’t accept failure as an option – they push themselves to reach every single goal they set. They are never truly at ease, they are never truly the calm that comes before the storm – they are the storm. They are the raging, thundering, fiery storm that rips through towns and leave their mark.

They are invincible. They are the girls who will change your life.

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