Sure, a lot of people say they love the holidays, but to you “love” is an understatement.
1. You mark every holiday, including unofficial national days, on the calendar.
There is always a reason to celebrate – literally, every single day can be a holiday if you want it enough. Especially when more than one holiday falls on the same date, like, National Drink Beer Day, for example.
National Drink Beer Day is on the very same day as National Good Neighbor Day and National Strawberry Cream Pie Day. So there’s a perfectly good reason as to why you’re standing on your neighbor’s porch, ready with a six pack of cold ones and a strawberry cream pie.
2. You have your present game ready by summertime.
You know exactly who’s getting what present, how much it is going to cost, where you’re gonna get it, and what color scheme you’re going with for wrapping paper, by mid-August at the latest.
3. Your favorite Christmas movie is ELF, hands down.
You know every single word of Elf by heart. In fact, you quote the movie on a regular basis starting on September 23rd (the autumnal equinox).
4. You purchase your Halloween outfit MONTHS in advance.
A lot of careful planning goes into choosing your Halloween ensemble. You want it to be the best Halloween outfit yet, so by January you’ve compiled a list of viable costume options and have scoured the internet for the best deal.
5. Your apartment could easily be mistaken for a Bath and Bodyworks store.
Pumpkin spice, vanilla bean, and brown sugar cinnamon scented candles? YES PLEASE.
6. You listen to holiday tunes on the reg.
Every day you are jamming out to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas.”
7. You’re a pumpkin carving champion.
You keep tracing paper, cutouts, and carving utensils conveniently packed in a portable sack, just in case there is a pumpkin somewhere that needs your amazing carving abilities.
8. Your Netflix queue is overflowing with holiday movies.
From Hocus Pocus, to The Craft, to A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, to Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, you have it all.
9. You force everyone to get in the spirit, including your animals.
Your dog has been dressed as a pumpkin since September first.
10. You enjoy buying and wearing ugly sweaters.
Your closet is full of light-up reindeer sweaters, and you freaking love it.
11. You make it a point to incorporate peppermint into every meal.
Candy Canes and peppermint mocha lattes is all your diet entails from the time October begins to the end of January.
12. You call your grandma at least twice a week to make sure of any menu changes.
You enjoy talking to your grandma, really. But, when the holidays come around it’s strictly business.
We’re still having mashed potatoes, right?
Okay. Good. Expect a call same time next week.
13. You have decorative bowls of candy just sitting around.
You channel your grandparents by filling your apartment with several decorative glass bowls full of candy.
14. You have boxes and boxes of decorations.
Each box has a date and time at which you must unpack its contents and DECORATE!
15. You bake more than Betty Crocker.
Sugar cookies are your b*tch.
16. Your social media accounts are covered in snowflakes and all things seasonal.
Your Facebook cover photo fluctuates from pumpkins to snowflakes to candy canes to snowmen to tree ornaments.
17. Your holiday lights are up and running a week before Thanksgiving.
Your electric bill is through the roof, but it’s holiday season, so YOLO.