Tag: holidays

The Holiday Blues: How to Recognize and Overcome Them

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… or at least the song says so. There are gifts, ornaments, Christmas trees, and the inevitable Christmas movies to set your expectations high. What’s behind all that pizazz is a lot of stress about making everything perfect, buying the ideal gifts, spending a lot of money, coping with difficult memories, and being lonely or in poor company. The idealized image of a cozy family celebration may not be realistic for many people. Even for those with happy families, the pressure of the holidays can take its toll. 

So, do you have the holiday blues? Let’s talk about how to recognize this condition and overcome it. 

What Are the Holiday Blues?

While the holiday blues don’t present a clinical diagnosis, the specific period when the condition arises and the stressors contributing to its development make it a unique phenomenon. Furthermore, prolonged anxiety and sadness can contribute to long-term depression or make it even harder for those with mental illness. 

The specific stressors related to holiday depression are spending more money than usual, feeling pressured to be in the holiday spirit, and having more social obligations as well as more intense travel plans. Loneliness and loss are also linked to holiday depression.

How to Recognize the Holiday Blues

Identifying the signs of holiday depression requires taking a break, a step back, and a good long look at yourself. Are there some physical changes, such as tired-looking skin or under-eye bags? Even some changes in clothing and self-care might suggest that you are coping with more than you can take right now. 

As for your emotions, ask yourself — how are you feeling? Are you easily irritable, often tearful, or sad? Do you have trouble focusing? Are you tired? Do you feel worthless and unable to maintain social interactions? A decline in the quality of work and lack of productivity as the holidays are approaching could also be signs that this season is not so jolly for you.

How to Overcome the Holiday Blues

It is important to know that the holiday blues are not a definite condition. You can combat this mood by making some simple changes to your lifestyle and working on your coping mechanisms. Here are some tips that could help you.

Get Enough Sleep

No matter how stressed you are, things can get only worse if you don’t get enough sleep. Adults should try to get between seven and nine hours of sleep every night. To achieve that, you need to create an optimal sleeping environment. Start with a good mattress that doesn’t have fiberglass to avoid skin irritations, and get a neck-supporting pillow. Clear your room of digital distractions and block the outside light. Ease yourself into sleep with a soothing routine.

Don’t Use Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism

During the holidays, many people turn to alcohol to numb their feelings or get themselves into the right mood for socializing. This can be counterproductive since alcohol can worsen your feelings of depression and anxiety. Excessive alcohol use can harm your sleep too. 

Watch What You’re Eating

Splurging on treats is a holiday tradition we all love and cherish. However, all that festive food is usually fatty, salty, or sugary. These foods can affect your mental health. Try to limit holiday indulgence to family dinners. Make sure to eat healthy meals when you don’t have social events on your schedule.

It’s Okay to Say “No”

From gift-giving to family gatherings, we often hold ourselves to high standards, which can result in feelings of failure. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. You don’t have to attend every gathering or buy a gift for everyone. Saying “no” to protect yourself is the healthiest form of self-care, and people who love and support you will understand that.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

While you don’t have to attend every event, you shouldn’t isolate yourself. The holiday blues will make you want to hide at home and see no one. Surround yourself with a “support team” of friends and family who make you feel pleasant and secure. Share your fears and worries with them and ask them to be there for you.

Set a Budget

The financial strain is a large part of the holiday stress. Don’t feel like you have to go overboard for meal prepping, gifts, and decorations. Set a realistic budget and stick with it. Consider making homemade gifts or organizing a secret Santa so that you have to buy one gift for one family member instead of buying five, six, or seven.

Give Back

Volunteering is a good way to do something good and feel better about yourself. It is also a way to connect with others if you are feeling lonely. Some volunteering ideas you can try are donating, reading to kids, organizing a fundraiser, serving food at a shelter, socializing with people in a nursing home, etc.

Spend Less Time on Social Media

During the holidays, people have more free time, and they spend a lot of it on social media. They post their picture-perfect Christmas trees, family dinners, and families in silly sweaters. This can be overwhelming for someone experiencing the blues. It’s best to just minimize your time on socials altogether and spend it doing more of the things you genuinely enjoy. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

The holiday blues might sound to you like a silly reason to consult a mental health specialist, but it is not. If you can’t cope with the overwhelming feeling of sadness, don’t be afraid to ask for help. A counselor can guide you through this period and help you build your own coping mechanisms.

In Closing

The holidays can be a stressful time for all of us. This year, let’s try to reframe our collective perspective. Take extra care of yourself in this season and do more of the things you enjoy. Try to build some good habits or traditions and cast away those traditions that aren’t serving you. Let’s use this time to remember the things we’re grateful for.

About The Author

Sarah is a life enjoyer, positivity seeker, and a curiosity enthusiast. She is passionate about an eco-friendly lifestyle and adores her cats. She is an avid reader who loves to travel when time allows.

The Top Tips for a Successful Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day coming up, you are probably thinking about how you want to spend the day with your loved one. Because this is a day set aside just for you and your significant other, you probably want it to go perfectly. As you are busy planning gift ideas, you need to think about how you will spend the day as well. There are a lot of people who have a difficult time planning Valentine’s Day. If this sounds like you, do not despair! There are plenty of tips you can follow to make sure your Valentine’s Day is a success.

Plan as Early as Possible

Valentine’s Day is one of the busiest nights of the year. Therefore, you need to start planning as early as possible. If you wait until the last minute, you will have a difficult time getting reservations anywhere. Is there a restaurant you want to go to for dinner? If so, you need to get a reservation ahead of time. Is there a movie you want to go see? If so, you should try to purchase your tickets early. Do you want to go to an indoor trampoline park, a skydiving arena, or a concert? If so, you need to make sure you can get tickets on Valentine’s Day. If you start planning as early as possible, you can put yourself in the best position possible to succeed.

Be Flexible With Your Significant Other

You also need to be flexible with your significant other. Unless you know that you are responsible for planning the entire day, you need to give an opportunity for your significant other to have some input as well. There is a good chance that he or she is going to have some ideas about what to do during the day, so you want to get ideas from him or her as well. There is a balance between showing that you thought about Valentine’s Day ahead of time and completely controlling everything. You may want to talk to your significant other’s family members and friends to see what your loved one might want to do.

Consider The Town vs. The House 

As you plan on Valentine’s Day, you need to think about how you will spend your time out on the town versus how you will spend your time at home. There are some people who do not want to leave the house at all on Valentine’s Day. There are other people who want to spend the entire night out on the town. For example, you might want to look for something creative you can do while out on the town. This could include going to a spa, visiting a cooking class, or signing up for a dancing class. Then, think about how you can create some romance at home. You may even want to think about mens Valentines Day underwear. 

It’s The Time and Thought That Count

Finally, even though you are probably putting a lot of thought into the gift exchange, remember that it is the time and the thought that matters most. As long as you are spending time with your significant other, he or she is probably going to be happy. If you show that you put a lot of thought into how you want to spend Valentine’s Day, your significant other will probably appreciate it. Therefore, be open to plenty of ideas, and start planning now. 

Get Ready for Valentine’s Day

These are a few of the most important tips you should follow if you want to get the most out of your Valentine’s Day with your significant other. Because there are so many options available, you need to start planning as early as possible. You do not want your favorite restaurant or event to be booked. Then, do not forget that your significant other will probably have a few plans as well. You do not want to feel like you are dominating everything, but you want to show that you put effort into the day. If you keep these tips in mind, you can put you and your significant other in a position to get the most out of your Valentine’s Day experience.

 

Unconventional Gifts to Give this Holiday Season

The holidays are right around the corner, and that means seeking out gifts for those you care about in order to spread the cheer and show a little bit of love! However, if you know people for long enough, some ideas might already seem a little played out, even if they work well for acquaintances in your life. You may need to think outside the box to come up with some options that excite people — and that excite you! If you want to really wow the people in your life, why not check out some of these unconventional gift ideas that can work for all kinds of people in your life? Here are a few options that you can give to help boost the holiday cheer!

Skincare Subscription 

So many people love to take care of their skin, and you can help make it totally custom if you want to go all out! Subscription services like the Curology system and Proven Skincare are all highly customizable and can make a great gift, especially if you know someone already subscribes.

Kitchen Cookware

If you know somebody who just moved into a new place or is still collecting pieces for their grown-up kitchen, getting someone a few items of kitchen cookware can be a fantastic, practical idea. Even if you just want to grab something nice for a foodie in your life, cookware is something everyone can use.

Tea Kettle

Much like the kitchen cookware idea, getting someone a tea kettle can be a cozy gift idea perfect for wintertime. Even if the person you’re gifting to has an established kitchen, they may not have a tea kettle already, which is the perfect opportunity to step in with a great gift.

Cleaning Service

Whether you know someone who owns a business that’s getting off the ground or a home that they don’t always have time to clean spotless — we’re looking at all those busy working moms out there — a cleaning service can be a great gift idea that’s practical and thoughtful.

Spa Gift Certificate

Much like the cleaning service gift certificate, a gift certificate for a spa can be a great way to make sure a loved one treats themself! You may know somebody who needs a bit of relaxation in their life, and getting them a gift certificate specifically designated for that purpose can be the perfect way to show that you care.

Books

If you happen to be a lover of books and you want to gift something to a fellow lover of books, you can totally tailor your selection to what you think they might like! This is a personalized gift idea that you can try for a variety of people in your life, all with their own spin. You might gift one book to your best friend and an entirely different book to your mom — the possibilities are endless!

Practical Makes Perfect

If you’re really close to someone, one of the best gift ideas that you can try is simply asking them if there’s anything you can help out with. Maybe it’ll be a medical bill or college application fee — or even some practical household items like cleaning supplies or toilet paper that might be nice to have taken care of. Making someone’s life easier is a great way to show them you care this holiday season.

Tarot Cards

Tarot cards are great for anyone looking into witchy interests this year, and there’s a specific reason why a tarot deck can be a perfect gift for someone in your life. Although not everyone believes this, some people think that buying your own tarot cards is bad luck. Therefore, if you know someone who wants a deck, grabbing it for them can be a thoughtful and applicable gift.

Streaming Service

Hulu, Netflix, Prime and more! There are so many great streaming services out there, and you can totally get someone a thoughtful gift by giving them a subscription. You can even go beyond the regular streaming services and think outside the box with things like Spotify or Audible for all the music and book lovers out there.

Pajamas

If the name of the game is “cozy” you can certainly find the perfect pair of pajamas to get the job done no matter who you’re shopping for. This can be a simple yet thoughtful present that anybody can use — which is perfect if you’re shopping for somebody difficult to pin down ideas for.

Unconventional Gift Ideas

When it comes to gifting for all the different people in your life, there are so many unique and interesting ideas that you can turn to. From skincare to kitchen cookware, there are so many useful gifts that you can look into for all the people you hold dear. Are there any gifts on this list that you particularly love?

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About The Author

Ava Roman (she/her) is the Managing Editor of Revivalist, a women’s lifestyle magazine that empowers women to live their most authentic life. When Ava is not writing you’ll find herin a yoga class, advocating for body positivity, whipping up something delicious in the kitchen, or smashing the patriarchy. 

Twelve Days Of Diva: Nail Colors For The Holiday Season

The Holiday Season is a time that we get to reflect on the year gone by and to gather with family, friends, coworkers and divas..
This years Holiday Hues are filled with New Years glitter and Mistletoe greens…
Whether you are planning a night on the town with your fellow Divas or a romantic dinner for two on a rooftop near you these cherry reds, and metal and glitter polishes will pair well with your power outfit and your plans.
There are also some barely there nude shades and champagne finishes too, Along with a snowy white, a bold brown and a night out black for those holiday parties with coworkers.
So here are twelve nail polishes to help you cleebrate the 12 days of Holiday Cheer. If you sing the below you may find that it is quite a catchy tune. So feel free to replace your choco advent calendar with this list.  And once you have chosen your color go pick up a nail diva so you can have a pedi party with your diva darlings while you put together your vision board for the New Year.
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me… A..

1 Partridge in a Pine Green Tree

Pine Green

2. Two White Turtle Doves

White

3. French Blue Grey Hens

Blue Grey

4. Black Colly Birds

Black

5 Metallic Gold Rings

6. Geese A Laying on Their Beds With Champagne

7. Swans A Swimming In A Metallic Silver Lake

8. Matte Finish Maids A Milking

9. Ladies Dancing In Glitter

10. Lords A Leaping with Burgundy Red Toes

11. Pipers Piping With An Icy Green Manicure

12. Drummers Drumming with Dark Brown polish on the fingers

About The Author

Daniella Quagliara is an entrepreneur, stylist, and nail enthusiast. Visit naildiva.ca to check out her latest invention and follow her on Instagram.

17 Things People Obsessed with the Holidays Understand

Sure, a lot of people say they love the holidays, but to you “love” is an understatement.

1. You mark every holiday, including unofficial national days, on the calendar.

There is always a reason to celebrate – literally, every single day can be a holiday if you want it enough. Especially when more than one holiday falls on the same date, like, National Drink Beer Day, for example.

National Drink Beer Day is on the very same day as National Good Neighbor Day and National Strawberry Cream Pie Day. So there’s a perfectly good reason as to why you’re standing on your neighbor’s porch, ready with a six pack of cold ones and a strawberry cream pie.

2. You have your present game ready by summertime.

You know exactly who’s getting what present, how much it is going to cost, where you’re gonna get it, and what color scheme you’re going with for wrapping paper, by mid-August at the latest.

3. Your favorite Christmas movie is ELF, hands down.

You know every single word of Elf by heart. In fact, you quote the movie on a regular basis starting on September 23rd (the autumnal equinox).

4. You purchase your Halloween outfit MONTHS in advance.

A lot of careful planning goes into choosing your Halloween ensemble. You want it to be the best Halloween outfit yet, so by January you’ve compiled a list of viable costume options and have scoured the internet for the best deal.

5. Your apartment could easily be mistaken for a Bath and Bodyworks store.

Pumpkin spice, vanilla bean, and brown sugar cinnamon scented candles? YES PLEASE.

6. You listen to holiday tunes on the reg.

Every day you are jamming out to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas.”

7. You’re a pumpkin carving champion.

You keep tracing paper, cutouts, and carving utensils conveniently packed in a portable sack, just in case there is a pumpkin somewhere that needs your amazing carving abilities.

8. Your Netflix queue is overflowing with holiday movies.

From Hocus Pocus, to The Craft, to A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, to Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, you have it all.

9. You force everyone to get in the spirit, including your animals.

Your dog has been dressed as a pumpkin since September first.

10. You enjoy buying and wearing ugly sweaters.

Your closet is full of light-up reindeer sweaters, and you freaking love it.

11. You make it a point to incorporate peppermint into every meal.

Candy Canes and peppermint mocha lattes is all your diet entails from the time October begins to the end of January.

12. You call your grandma at least twice a week to make sure of any menu changes.

You enjoy talking to your grandma, really. But, when the holidays come around it’s strictly business.

We’re still having mashed potatoes, right?

Okay. Good. Expect a call same time next week.

13. You have decorative bowls of candy just sitting around.

You channel your grandparents by filling your apartment with several decorative glass bowls full of candy.

14. You have boxes and boxes of decorations.

Each box has a date and time at which you must unpack its contents and DECORATE!

15. You bake more than Betty Crocker.

Sugar cookies are your b*tch.

16. Your social media accounts are covered in snowflakes and all things seasonal.

Your Facebook cover photo fluctuates from pumpkins to snowflakes to candy canes to snowmen to tree ornaments.

17. Your holiday lights are up and running a week before Thanksgiving.

Your electric bill is through the roof, but it’s holiday season, so YOLO.

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Lavish Gift Ideas To Show Your Other Half How Special They Are

 

If there is one way to really make someone feel special it is to go full-on lavish with your gift to them. This may require a little saving on your part but it will be more than worthwhile once you see the look on their face as they receive the gift which you have planned. Once you have saved up that money, why not consider some of these lavish gifts which are really going to show your loved one exactly what they mean to you? 

 

Flower Overload 

A bouquet of flowers is a lovely gift that would certainly show that you care, but if we are talking lavish gifts you need to go the extra mile. The best way to do this with flowers is to go overboard and fill the home with flowers for when your loved one gets home. Just imagine the entrance to your home and the living room decorated with hundreds of beautiful flowers purchased from Pearson’s Florist. Your loved one will have no idea how to react. 

 

Dream Vacation 

We all have destinations in our minds which we would love to see one day, so why not make your loved one’s dreams come true? Given what we have all gone through in the last 18 months, we should all recognize just how short life is and how important it is that we take advantage of what we have. Time is precious so why not spend it with your loved one in a gorgeous Caribbean destination or somewhere stunning like the Maldives or Seychelles? This will be a perfectly lavish gift for your loved one. 

 

Diamonds

They say that diamonds are a girl’s best friend and you will see this first hand when your loved one opens up a piece of stunning jewelry. This could be a decadent bracelet, an opulent necklace, or perhaps even a ring that is filled with shimmering diamonds. To ensure that you get this gift just right, make sure that you have sized up her hand, neck, or finger so that she will be able to wear the gorgeous gift right away. 

 

Shopping Spree

Planning a shopping spree for your partner is another lavish gift that is sure to go down well. Pick an area to go shopping which houses some of the finest stores, be sure that you have booked in a delightful place to have lunch and a glass of champagne, and let them go crazy in making over their wardrobe. This is something that so many people dream of, so why not do this for your partner and show them just what they mean to you? This is going to be a gift that keeps on giving too as they will be incredibly excited to wear all of their new clothes in the coming weeks and months. 

Sometimes you just have to go all out for a gift, and really show the person you love exactly what they mean to you.

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Fourth Of July 2021: The Beginning Of Normalcy

 

This year we have been giving the go ahead to celebrate in a more normal way. A way that we are used to celebrating out freedoms. No matter how you are choosing to celebrate while you remember why we celebrate this day.

It is the day that our founding fathers said no more and declared that we were going to be a free nation. We were going to be a better nation. One that was going to be different. One that was going to grow as the world grew. This is something to be celebrated. 

This declaration would not come without sacrifice. Many have died for the ideal that America is one of the greatest countries on earth. That we were the start of something different. A country that would be more accepting. It started with religion, however, we are a country that has grown as the world has. This is the sacrifice that our soldiers made for us. That is something to be celebrated. 

Our past, although it can be a very dark one. One that is full of sometimes hate for groups that were seen as less than. Yes we still have so much work to do, we should celebrate the progress that we have made as well. There is still a lot of discrimination in this country to minority groups, however, there are many battles that we have one. So today we should take stock in what we have accomplished and vow to move forward on the work still left to be done. Today our process is something that should be celebrated. 

Today, I am going to do just that. I am going to sit on the boat. Look out at the water and know that there is much more than me. There is more to be fought and that we cannot give up. I am going to think about those who have come before me that have fought and would want this day to be a celebration. I am going to take stock on the things that we as a young nation have accomplished. Because these are things that should be celebrated. 

Then when the boat stops, I am going to tell my boyfriend to crank the music up and we are going. To dance, Jump off the boat, and crack a cold one for all of the people who fought to make this country what it is today. Then we are going to fire up the BBQ and enjoy a nice dinner as a family. While remembering that we are family and although sometimes we disagree, we all still love each other and are here to honor that America is a great country with a wonderful democracy. 

The work will continue on July 5th. After we have taken stock in all of the things that we still need to fight for. This is the day that we should start tackling the challenges that we are met with right now. Find something that is close to your heart, something that you want to fight for and get involved. We can work together to make this country a safer, kinder, and happier place. After we celebrate how far we have come. 

Enjoy your 4th and commit to a cause on the 5th

Stay safe!!

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A Valentine’s Day Date with Me, Myself, and I

Listen. I just don’t understand all the bitterness that surrounds Valentine’s Day for people that aren’t in relationships. I’ve been single for eight years, and it’s one of my favorite holidays. I’m serious. Everything in stores are bright pinks and reds, the chocolate selection is top-notch, and it’s just a day to spread love… So, why the hate?

This year, we’re all approaching a year of quarantine, and while I have my moments of desperation to go out to dinner and a Broadway show, I must say I’ve really started to take to this shelter in place lifestyle. The 14th will be no different for moi; I’ll be home alone, but I have more plans than Macaulay Culkin on Christmas Eve.

Allow me to explain.

First and foremost, it’s the perfect time for me to make an excuse to spend money on myself, being that it’s nestled right in between Christmas and my birthday. Do I need an excuse? No, not at all.  There have been so many Zara boxes delivered to my building; I feel like my neighbors are starting to judge. Regardless, it’s impeccable timing for me to just check-in and make sure I’m not neglecting myself in any way… Ya know?

This year, for Valentine’s Day, I’ll be receiving a spin bike for the last unoccupied corner of my tiny NYC apartment, and it’ll be brought to me by my one and only true love: the Amazon Prime delivery man.

I will also be trudging through the mountains of snow to the local cookie shop called Chip NYC, which I frequent. Their V-Day selection includes Red Velvet Cheesecake, Strawberries and Cream, XOXO Funfetti, and, of course, traditional Chocolate Chip. Yes, I looked up their cookie schedule ahead of time and I have to say… I’m so jazzed.

Next, despite all the bodega guys doubling their flower prices on Valentine’s Day, there’s nothing I love more than buying myself flowers.

As our girl Lizzo says, “I get flowers every Sunday; I’mma marry me one day.” Since the holiday falls on a Sunday this year, I can’t possibly defy Saint Valentine AND Lizzo, so I shall sleep easy knowing my $20 bill got $10 worth of roses; inflation be damned.

Now, if you’re thinking the plan is to eat cookies while putting together my new workout equipment: stop. I’m not a monster! I would never do manual labor without cookies AND wine… A nice, full-bodied, Napa Cab to be precise. I will tread cautiously, though. Last year, I bought myself a desk and got a little too carried away with the wine, super-glued it backward, and had to throw it out and order a new one.

I nailed it the second time, though – literally.

While 22-year-old me might have been a little bummed about not having a “Valentine’s date,” 28-year-old me couldn’t be happier scrubbing my bathtub for a deep soak and a face mask. I’ve actually been saving one for the occasion. I got this $1200 set of face masks for $40 on GILT (I highly recommend for skincare savings). They’re made with 24k gold and snail eggs or something crazy. I expect to take it off and have the plump skin of an eight-year-old, but, like, without the baby fat.

I guess what I’m trying to say is there’s no need for the Valentine’s Day blues!

Bottom line: it’s a day to celebrate love, and whether that love is for your friends, your family, your dog, or yourself; it’s worth celebrating. So, while I look forward to future Valentine’s Days spent with a significant other in a California king bed at the Plaza Hotel drinking mimosas and eating pancakes in robes with their logo on them (Macaulay Culkin style), that’s just simply not my narrative right now. I do have one, and only one concern: I hope all my red lipsticks last to see another V-day, post KN95s. *Googles expiry time on lipstick*

*Disclaimer: You should throw out lipsticks after a year and lip glosses after only six months!  Apparently, the wax has the tendency to trap bacteria. Ew. Will I follow this advice? TBD.

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About the Author

Kaitlyn-Renee Urban is an actor and writer with a passion for highlighting feminism in the arts. She hosts an IGTV show (coming January 2021) called “What We Know Now” centered around supporting local, women-run businesses while picking their brains for advice they’d give their younger selves. She lives in New York City, but it’s easier to find her on Instagram.

For The Girl Who Dreads The Holidays

 

The holidays rolling around is supposed to be a cheerful time. The eggnog, cheer, family get togethers, fuzzy blankets, Christmas lights, snow, and movies are things that most people tend to look forward to. They look forward to spending time with their loved ones or families, happily making new memories while conversing on what has happened in the time that has passed.

You on the other hand, feel a massive sense of loss and nostalgia whenever this season comes.

You remember times where there used to be family events, love and laughter. Maybe you never had the experience at all. It isn’t always for the exact same reason, but the feeling is always the same.

You watch as friends post pictures with their siblings and loved ones. You see everyone laughing and smiling, and wonder what cruel force in life has denied you the experience. If you haven’t been denied the experience, maybe you’re the black sheep of the family, or maybe you disagree with your families religious beliefs.

 

Whatever the case, know this:

You are not alone.

There are so many others who feel exactly the same. That hole in your heart is going to be filled someday. You will have a family. A wonderful man will walk into your life. Whatever feud or judgement separating you from your family will be resolved in some from or another. In the meantime, know that you are absolutely beautiful, and you don’t deserve to ever feel that way.

If someone doesn’t love you enough to want your marvelous and quirky personality around, then it is their loss.

You are amazing and don’t you ever, ever forget it.

 

 

Being Single During the Holidays Sucks, but It’s Better Than Settling for a Douche

I’m sure you’re getting to that point where you’re thinking maybe I over reacted? He wasn’t a bad guy. Sure, he had some flaws, but we all do. I’m not perfect, so why did I expect so much from him?

And with the holidays fast approaching I’m sure it’s tempting to call, SnapChat, text, something to get his attention again because sometimes the holidays suck alone, but that doesn’t mean you should take him back. Whenever you start feeling tempted to reach out to him, just remember that…

You never got a text when he got home at night after a night out with his buddies so you knew he was home safe or that he never answered the phone when you called, or at least called you back in a reasonable time frame. You should also think about the times that you caught him snapchatting other girls or that he hardly showed up on time when you made plans to hang out.

Deep down you know that he was nothing but a douche but the holiday spirit is somehow clouding your judgment. You’re starting to think that even though he wasn’t “perfect” he’s better than no one. FALSE! You deserve the world and not some guy who’s going to bring you down and doesn’t respect you.

You weren’t asking for much from him. And yet, he failed you. He failed to text you and let you know he was safe and sound even after you asked repeatedly. He never answered the phone when you called and always had an excuse as to why he didn’t answer or call you back.

Let’s be honest, whether you call it cheating or not he always had a line of girls waiting to take your place. So yes, you REALLY are better off alone. You are better off just telling everyone you’re still single than going back to his crap.

So I know it’s hard. The holidays are hard. Facing family alone and being the only one left single in the family sucks, but you don’t want him back. You want the idea of him back.

You want the illusion of a good relationship to get your family off your back. You want the picture perfect life that you always dreamed you’d have. You want the man you grew up thinking you’d end up with and build a life with.

Just wait a little while longer. You’ll find a loving, caring man. The man you can tell your secrets to and plan a life with. The man who your family adores. And the man that adores you. The one that doesn’t make you ask for simple things like honesty and respect.

All those long car drives alone to the family may suck now, but you know deep down you’d rather make them alone than to continue to put yourself through the stress and the crap you went through with him. You don’t want to cry yourself to sleep over him anymore and you really don’t want to explain to your family why you all broke up in a few months at the next family event.

You are strong. You will make it through this and you will do it with your head held high. I know from experience the holidays can suck when you’re single, especially when you’re the only one single, but you really don’t want to take him back.

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