I Have ‘High-Functioning Anxiety’ & Here’s How It Affects My Everyday Life

Most people don’t know that I have anxiety unless I tell them. I don’t seem like your “typical person with anxiety,” – or, whatever that means. Most people are shocked when I bring up my anxiety problems with them because, I don’t really struggle or function like the people in most stories, narratives or conversations typically do. But, that doesn’t mean that my anxiety problems are any less real or raw than others. Ever since I was young, I have always felt like my mind, my body and my life was on “over-drive.” I grew up in a very chaotic home and my childhood was never truly “stable.” With divorced parents, numerous financial issues, social struggles and other occurrences that most children don’t typically go through – I always felt as though I was “different.” After struggling for years, my mom thought that at 12-years-old, it’d be worth it for me to go “talk to someone” and see a therapist.

After years of therapy and seeing numerous specialists, I’ve been told by several doctors that I have what is known as “high functioning anxiety.” From an outsiders’ point of view, I’m a perfectionist, an ambitious worker, a social butterfly, a strong woman, a “happy-go-lucky” person, an organized individual. From a therapist’s point of view, I use work, conversations, risky decisions and non-stop schedules to mask my anxious thoughts.

Throughout my life, I have always been the girl from my small neighborhood that succeeded. Parents would always stop me when they’d run into me and say how “impressed” they were with how much I’ve achieved. Friends would reach out on Facebook and tell me how much they read my work and how awesome it was to know someone who writes for so many sites. My family would constantly speak about me in praise because I had pushed myself to succeed so well. If you looked at me, you’d never know that the majority of my accomplishments were parallel with an anxiety disorder I had struggled with and masked for years on end. While it may seem like anxiety typically is filled with despair, the kind of anxiety I had been told I deal with is “high-functioning,” which means, the majority of my disorder is masked with success. Along the way, I’ve learned a lot about myself, my anxiety and how to cope with it on an everyday basis.

My schedule is always packed because being busy means I have less time to think.

Ever since I was in high school, my schedule was jam-packed with things to do. I worked a few nights a week while in high school at a local pizzeria to keep busy. When I went to college, I picked up two more jobs while going to school full-time. Working or going to school 7-days per week kept me always running to do something and be somewhere that was important. It wasn’t the type of commitment where I could wake up and decide not to go. If I didn’t show up to a job, I would be fired. If I didn’t show up to school, I’d fail out. I kept myself preoccupied in order to keep myself constantly busy – which left my thoughts at bay and my anxieties at rest.

I have a lot of friends, yet I don’t see them very often.

Many people assume those with anxiety don’t have many friends or social circles because they get anxiety when it comes to making friends and keeping them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I grew up being friends with several different circles and still maintain a lot of the friendships I had from middle school, high school and beyond. However, I don’t always see them. In fact, a lot of times, I don’t. Being someone with high-functioning anxiety, I feel if I’m not being productive, I’m wasting my time. Although seeing my friends is not unproductive, I do feel as though there are moments where they will cancel, or they’re late, and I have wasted my day or my time.

I have little “ticks” that most people think are just bad habits.

My mind is constantly on overdrive, and because of that, so are my habits. When I am sitting around watching TV or a movie in which I’m not doing a lot, my mind begins to scatter and I feel like I need to do something. My worst habit is that I pick skin or bite skin on my lip – it’s been a bad tick of mine since I was young. Everyone who knows me knows that it’s something I do – especially my family – and I’ve even had to get medication to heal the cuts that appear when I’ve been “picking” too much.

It sounds extremely gross, but it’s not something that I’m necessarily proud of (or feel comfortable sharing with the entire world, so congrats) but, it’s something that many people also go through. Some people pick at their cuticles or bite their nails, some people twirl their hair – and although it seems like just a “bad habit,” it can also be the sign of a deeper problem.

10 Signs You’re Way Too Good For The Person You’re Dating

Your friends tell you, your parents tell you—sh*t, even their friends say something to you about it. There comes a time in some relationships where everyone starts telling you that you’re way too good for the person you’re dating. While I’m never one to say that you should believe when people tell you things about your relationship when they’re not involved in it—there are some key moments in your life where people are doing you more good than harm. If you’re constantly fighting with yourself to decide if the person you are with is “good” for you, there may be a bigger picture problem that you’re ignoring completely.

 

If you’re the one who is constantly going out of your way, giving 100% when they give maybe 45%, the one reaching out, the one making plans, the one who calls/texts first – there could be a very, very big reason. You may just be too good for the person you’re currently dating.

 

1. The people who know you best think you deserve better.

While you may not want to believe everything other people say about your own, personal life – the people who know you best are only going to want what’s best for you. If they’re telling you that you deserve better, finding reasons for you to leave the person you’re with – there could be a very good reason for it. They want you to be happy and also want you to be treated the way in which you deserve. Maybe you need to wake up and smell the coffee of the reality of things, no matter how much you love someone, they may not be the best person for you.

 

 

2. The person you’re with is jealous, insecure or always picking fights.

If you’re the type of person who allows your significant other to have freedom and independence, but they don’t reciprocate, it’s a big red flag. Jealousy and insecurity at times can be something to manage and work on in a relationship, but if someone is unwilling to change, you can’t force them. You can’t be allowing someone to have their freedom but be forbidden to do things, say things or wear things that you want at someone else’s expense. Don’t let someone stomp all over you, who you are and what you bring to the table.

 

7 Ways To Tell You’ve Finally Found That ‘Forever’ Kind Of Love

When we fall in love with someone, we always want them to be the “end all, be all” of our life. We don’t want to think about every playing the field again, we never want to think about the “dating scene” again–we just want this to be the “forever” kind of love. How do you know, though? How are you able to realize that the person you are with is the person you should be with forever? It’s hard to say. Everyone’s life is incredibly different (in many ways), but there are some universal feelings, lessons, and realizations that you can have while falling in love that makes you stop and realize–”wow, I can truly see myself spending the rest of my life with this person.”

 

1. You completely trust them, with no strings attached.

When you fall in love with someone, you’re allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open to someone. We’re allowing ourselves to risk being hurt, heartbroken, and devastated if things don’t go as planned. We’re essentially putting our emotional wellbeing and souls into another person’s hands. That’s truly an action that requires the utmost trust and value. If you’re unsure whether or not you can trust your partner, there’s no reason to even picture a future together. You should feel comfortable and at ease when it comes to your life together.

You should never wonder what they’re doing when they’re out if they’re talking to someone else, if they’re texting someone they shouldn’t be. If you ever feel the inclination you should go through their phone, texts, emails, social media–you’re not with the person you deserve to be with. The person you are meant to be with will never, ever give you a reason not to trust them. They will always be honest with you, open with you, and give you every single solitary reason to trust them. If you are uneasy about your love now, think about feeling this way as you get older–with kids involved. You should never live your life on the edge with someone.

 

Dating A Girl With Anxiety Can Be The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You – Here’s How To Do It

Having anxiety is not an easy battle. Some days, you feel on top of the world, enjoying life, like nothing can bring you down. Other days, you wake up feeling trapped in your own body – crawling out of your own skin as though you’re a prisoner who cannot escape. Anxiety is a real illness, no matter how many people deny its existence and as someone who suffers with it on a regular basis, it is harshly real.

 

Just because you have an illness that is not physical—unable to be seen on your body by the naked eye – does not mean it is invalid or nonexistent. With the numerous stigmas against mental illness within society, it makes it even harder for people who struggle with anxiety to speak out and get themselves the proper help needed to aid in their battles.

 

This, of course, makes everyday situations in life increasingly difficult. For example: relationships.

 

While dating is hard enough on it’s own for someone of pristine health – it’s even harder when you’re someone who suffers from anxiety and panic disorders. But, if you give the girl with anxiety a chance – looking past the stress, the worries, the overthinking – it can be one of the best relationships you’ll ever have in your life.

 

Girls with anxiety are not people who are sick – girls with anxiety are warriors.

 

We wake up every day knowing that—there’s a chance my anxiety will be bad today or, there’s a chance my anxiety will be good today—but, we never truly know. Does that stop us?

 

35 Tweets You’ll Appreciate If Your Target Obsession Is Borderline Unhealthy

No matter how crazy your day has been, there’s one thing you can always count on: Target. Target is there for you when nothing else makes sense. Target doesn’t ask questions, it simply exists to spark joy and drain your bank account.

If you have a borderline unhealthy obsession with Target like us, each and every one of these tweets will speak to your soul as you cruise through the dollar section.

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https://twitter.com/caitlynmlozano/status/745771012394889217

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https://twitter.com/mikeyhency/status/922910915355447299

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https://twitter.com/IoIteresa/status/922265918322954241

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https://twitter.com/Mother_Faulkner/status/919597193190952960

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https://twitter.com/audiseaa/status/922935315874172929

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https://twitter.com/lauryn_schmitty/status/923395006714408961

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https://twitter.com/amanduhluna/status/922243325872230400

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https://twitter.com/ItsKodyBreh/status/922999567586439168

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https://twitter.com/murieen/status/919334385911873536

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h/t: BuzzFeed, Twitter

31 Thoughts Every Woman Has While Shopping At Target

When it comes to Target, we always go in and leave with things we did not originally go in for. No matter how many pep talks we give ourselves, we know that we’re going to leave spending way more than we planned with way more than we needed. And, half of the time we don’t even get what we originally needed in the beginning. Oh, Target, how you love to do us dirty.

1. I’m only here for new sheets, I’m not going to the clothing section. Definitely not going to the shoe section.

2. OMG, I love the $1 section. Look at this little notebook! I need it. Wait, do I need it? Yup, definitely need it.

3. Where are the sheets? Did they redo the store again? I’m lost. Where is everything?

4. Oh, here I am, in the shoe department. By accident.

5. THESE BOOTS! ARE! TO! DIE! FOR! No. I can’t. Walk away. WALK. AWAY.

6. Maybe if I just try them on…

7. Oh My God. They fit perfectly. Look at me. I’m Adriana Lima. Look at these legs baby. Legs. For. Days.

8. Maybe I’ll price check them and see if they’re on sale.

9. Sheets! I need sheets!

10. OMG, THEY HAVE THEIR BATHING SUITS OUT ALREADY!?!?

11. I’ll just try on one.

12. Maybe five.

13. Ugh, that dress is amazing. Need to try it on.

14. Okay, how did I end up with a cart full of clothes?

15. I’ll just try them on and probably hate everything.

16. Omg, only six items at a time? I’ll be here forever.

17. Okay, so, I guess I’m getting a new wardrobe today because everything is C.U.T.E CUTE!

18. Ok where is the home section?

19. Oh! Look at these mugs! I need them they’re adorable!

20. And candles!!!

21. Oh this one smells like sh*t, gross.

22. This one is amazing. I need four.

23. Okay, I need to leave before I spend my rent check in here.

24. Maybe just one more candle.

25. Where is the register? I need to get out of here ASAP.

26. Send help! Immediately!

27. Okay, just, pay and leave.

28. *Please don’t be expensive, please don’t be expensive*

29. $400?!? What the actual f*ck is wrong with me?!?

30. Whatever, I guess I’m not eating dinner this week.

31. F*CK I FORGOT TO BUY SHEETS!!!!!

One Person Perfectly Described What Happens After You Lose The ‘Butterflies’ In A Relationship

If you’re ever been in a long-term relationship, you’d know first-hand that they are a lot of work. When you first meet someone, you’re happy, giddy, excited to get to know them and see where your relationship goes. As you progress in your relationship – transitioning from casual dating to a real relationship, a lot of things change. Long gone are the days where you blush, get embarrassed or nervous in front of your significant other – and instead, you reach a peak comfort zone with them. While this is never a bad thing – all long-term relationships should aspire to reach this place – some people are always worrisome when the “butterflies” and “Honeymoon stage” comes to an end.

People are always looking for ways to bring back that “excitement and spark” in their relationships, instead of feeling comfortable or happy with where their relationships are moving. Take it from someone who has been here – who is here – in their life. Once you reach new stages in your relationship – meeting your partner’s family, moving in together, traveling together – your relationship in itself will inevitably change. You reach a new level of commitment and often times, that means the excitement won’t always be there every single day. That’s not to say that it’s gone forever – it’s just not there every waking moment of your life together.

Sure, some days you’ll be excited to see your partner after work or school, other days, you’ll both be exhausted and barely speak because all you want to do is go to bed. It’s natural – it’s not a red flag, it’s nothing to worry about. It took me a very long time to learn this truth.

One person on Tumblr perfectly summed up the truth behind reaching this point in long-term relationships – and, it could not be truer.

Honestly – preach. I needed to read this – to fully understand and appreciate this chapter in my relationship and, I’m sure other people do, too.

4 Ways To Tell If You’re In Love Or Just Plain Comfortable In Your Relationship

Whenever you enter any relationship, you feel uneasy in the beginning. You’re nervous, you get butterflies, you have anxieties, it’s only natural that you would feel this way when you’re getting to know somebody and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable around them. As you progress in your relationship, your anxieties start to fade away – you begin to feel more comfortable and let your guard down around this person. When you enter the stage of being together “long-term,” you finally see that you’re your most comfortable self around this person—they just get you. But, the longer you stay with someone long-term, the more comfortable you become. You start to become dependant on them for certain things, they become part of your everyday routines—you’re not sure what your life would be like if they weren’t there.

But, the longer you stay with someone long-term, the more comfortable you become. You start to become dependant on them for certain things, they become part of your everyday routines—you’re not sure what your life would be like if they weren’t there. And, because of this, we start to confuse the feelings of being in love and just being comfortable in a relationship with someone.

Often times, the spark in a relationship may fade away and things may chip away at the “love” you once had for your partner. Maybe it’s arguments you’ve had, things that have happened, realizations you have made over time. But, because you are so comfortable in your everyday life with your partner there, you don’t really realize that you’re not truly in love with them anymore. Sure, not every relationship is going to be fireworks and sparks every single moment of every single day but, if you’ve lost that “loving feeling,” altogether, it’s a sure sign that you’re with someone out of convenience and comfort, rather than true love. There are several ways you can really figure out if it’s love or comfort in your specific relationship, without having to completely break yourself apart.

1. Excitement vs. Indifference:

Now, I’m aware that not every relationship is exciting after 2, 3, 4 years all the time. But, there should still be moments in your relationship where you do feel excited—excited to see your partner, excited for them to come home from work that day, excited to go on a date with them, excited to go to a social event together. If you’re always indifferent towards everything and feel as though it’s just “what you need to do” in your relationship—it’s a tell-tale sign that you’re just comfortable with your partner, rather than in love with them.

2. Ambivalence vs. Certainty:

Not everyone you date is going to be “the one,” but, if you’re with someone you love, you know that there’s a chance they could be. If you’re feeling as though you are unsure if someone you’re with long-term is the one you want to spend your life with, it’s a pretty big question you need to face. Too often, people stay in a relationship for the fear of being alone and not wanting to encounter “loneliness.” But, they end up settling for a partner they aren’t truly in love with or want to be with forever. By doing this, you ultimately end up resenting the person you’re dating and resenting yourself for not facing these problems before you got “stuck.”

3. Effort vs. Nonchalant:

Every person in a relationship should be putting effort into their relationship at all times. Sometimes, when life gets hectic, you may put in less effort than normal. But, overall, each person in a relationship should contribute to it. If your partner or you are very “nonchalant” and passive about your relationship—you’re constantly just settling on things, keeping them the same, not changing things up or putting life into your love—it’s a pretty big red flag.

4. Living vs. Watching:

When you’re in love with someone, you want to experience life with them. No matter how busy that life may get, you find time for new experiences, new travels, new events to do together. When you’re just comfortable, you spend the majority of your time doing the same old song and dance, you’re too tired to go out, you don’t want to spend the money, you’d rather just go to bed early. Sure, some people can’t always go out – but there are dozens of ways to go out without spending money that can still be incredible and worth-while – it’s about whether or not you care enough to make it happen.

I’m Always Going To Choose My Boyfriend Over My Friends And I’m Not Sorry About It

Choosing my boyfriend over my friends is an easy choice for me. Because growing up, my mother used to tell me that it was a poor choice to ever put a guy before your girlfriends. No matter what happens, or who you date, your friends should always come first. Growing up, I truthfully believed in this notion—because most of my relationships were immature, young-love that wouldn’t last long. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that sometimes, you do need to put your relationship before your friendships and there’s a good reason to do so.

When I started dating someone pretty seriously in my early 20s, not all of my friends were in relationships. In fact, most of them weren’t. I’ve always been the girl who enjoyed being in a full-blown, romance-filled relationship than playing the field. And, while I enjoy the long-term commitment, some of my close friends were single and thriving. This, often times, led to a clash of priorities. My friends always wanted to go out and meet guys at the bar—but, I was taken, not wanting to be their “wing woman,” flirting with the guy’s friend.

Regardless of my relationship, I always made it out. I didn’t want to fulfill my mother’s warning that when you distance yourself from your friends, you look as though your boyfriend means more than your relationship. And I didn’t want my friends to rag on me and call me a sh*tty friend for not putting them as a priority. I told my boyfriend that I had plans almost every weekend—trying to maintain my single girlfriends and my boyfriend at the same time. This led to stumbling home late at night drunk, forgetting to text my boyfriend back. Or, people seeing me out at bars and assuming the worst about me—that I was cheating.

I need to choose my boyfriend over my friend. Here is why. Truth be told, that relationship taught me a lot of lessons—especially because it didn’t last. Now, being in a much more serious relationship, much older, and a lot wiser—I’ve realized that there is nothing wrong with putting my boyfriend and my relationship first when I feel as though it’s better for me and the relationship overall.

I still have friends who are single—in fact, my best friend since 7th grade is single and always looking to mingle. But, now that I’m in my late 20’s and living with my SO, I know that there are things I will turn down and say no to, because the health of my relationship comes first. I’ve changed the way I interact with my friends—sometimes—because I know that there is a future to be had here at home.

This is someone that, eventually, I want to marry and raise a family with. So, if I know that he’s not super comfortable with me going to a party where I’ll run into my ex, or he doesn’t really want me wearing something super tight and revealing—I’m comfortable and okay with putting my boyfriend, before friends.

Does this mean that I’m distancing myself from my friendships entirely for my relationship? Absolutely not.

In all honesty, it’s learning how to maintain both my friendships and my relationship to keep everyone happy—but, most of all, keeping myself happy. My friends know that I’m not going to want to go out and play wing woman with them, drinking until 3 A.M. at the bar and stumbling home. They know that I’m not the girl who’s going to spontaneously hop a flight with them for a random vacation. They understand that I have someone in my life who is a factor in my decision making—and, they’re okay with it because they love me.

Good friends know that life has levels and phases. The girl who would go out every weekend and leave her boyfriend at home—it was a phase in my life, one that I learned from. Now, being in my late 20s, I’m more focused on my future. I’m focused on building my career, nurturing my relationship, and my friendships, but in a different light. I still see my friends frequently, and we talk every day. They know if they need me, I’d come running. But they know if it’s date night, I’m not available. They know that if my boyfriend needs me, I have to be there, too.

It’s not about completely turning your back on your friendships entirely, but it’s about finding those friends who understand that you’re in a new phase of your life—and, helping to adjust to that, too.

17 Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Toe Thumbs

Growing up, I’ve always been embarrassed by my thumbs. Not only are they short and stubby, but they are actually—without a doubt—toe thumbs. Some people who have toe thumbs (or clubbed thumbs) are blessed enough to have just one. I, on the other hand, have been cursed with two. Two short, stubby, toe-looking thumbs.
Continue reading 17 Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Toe Thumbs

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