10 Things To Help You Find Your True Happiness That Doesn’t Include Chasing A Man

Am I the only 20 something who feels like there is something wrong with her because she doesn’t want to “chase a man”? I mean come on ladies it’s 2021 we can literally do ANYTHING we set our minds to, we do not need to find our happiness within a significant other. Trust me. I know this is going to sound so extremely corny but it’s oh, so true. That feeling of real and true happiness is something we won’t find in anyone else. That is the happiness we can only find within ourselves. Life Coach Spotter suggests hiring a happiness coach. They can reframe your perspectives and help you better appreciate the good things in your life. This makes you feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment which is a great step in the right direction. Here are 10 other things you can do to try and find that feeling of true happiness without having to try and find that happiness within someone else.

1. Start your own business

Tired of the same old 9 to 5? Leave! There is nothing wrong with starting over, and doing what you love! Starting your own business can be challenging at first and it would be of great advantage to have a life coach like Mia Hewett to guide you both in business and in life.

2. Take that dream vacation

Sometimes you just want to get away from everything you know and just take a breather, and sometimes you just need inspiration

3. Work on raising your credit score

I know they say money can’t buy you happiness but money can buy you, your dream home and your dream car and that’s pretty close to happiness!

4. Go back to school

Even if you don’t know what you want to go for, just take a couple of classes and get your feet wet! I mean you have to start somewhere!

5. Adopt a dog

I promise you a dog will be your absolute best friend, they will always be there for you. They will always love you.

6. Plan a vacation JUST FOR YOU!

Get away from everything and everyone. Find yourself and explore an exotic place!

7. Take yourself out on a shopping trip!

Do it just because, treat yourself and buy the bag because life is too short so buy the shoes!

8. Volunteer and help mentor young kids.

Be THAT person that YOU needed when you were younger because I can promise you that some other little kid needs that person too. 

9. Get away from social media

Delete the apps off your phone! (you don’t actually have to delete your accounts) Get away from the toxicity that is everybody on the internet’s opinion and just be you.

10. LET IT ALL GO!

Go to the dollar store, and buy a glass plate and some sharpies, write everything that weighs you down everything you regret, and everything that you are mad at or feel bad about. drive to a road that is not always being driven on blast your music and SMASH IT! When you smash that plate let all of those regrets and all of that negativity go!

 

 

20 Things You Only Understand If You Love Spending Time Alone

There are two kinds of people in this world—those who love to be surrounded by people all of the time, whether they are out, home, or on the go, and those who love being alone in their silence, solitude, and bed. Not to say that one person is better than the other, but they are total polar opposites. Some people love human contact, others despise it. And, there are just somethings you totally understand if you’re a “me, myself, and I” person.

1. Being alone means there is absolutely zero judgment at all. Zero. None. Negative none.

2. You can walk around without pants on and not have to worry about a damn thing.

3. You can eat whatever you want, at any time of day, and have no one to tell you otherwise. Ice cream for breakfast? Bring on the damn sprinkles.

4. You have a list of excuses that you run through on a regular basis to get out of plans with people you really don’t want to do—like, your mom needs help moving, your sister needs you to babysit the kids, your super is coming to fix the kitchen sink.

5. Ordering food for one is way cheaper than ordering for two-three and having to figure out how to split the Seamless/Postmates bill.

6. You know vegging out on the couch with your show to binge watch with some wine is way better than having to go to a club and rub up against sweaty and annoying strangers who keep touching you without your permission.

7. There is no pleasure quite like lighting a candle in your bedroom and snuggling under the covers with a good book.

8. Relationships are hard to get into because your personal time is more precious than anything else you can imagine.

9. And, the worst thing you can deal with is dating someone who wants to be with you or see you on an everyday basis. No thank you.

10. You don’t understand why people feel the need to text all day, every day. Having time away from the rest of the world is special.

11. People think that you’re a weirdo or a loner because you’re not always out doing something with other people.

12. But, in reality, you are constantly doing something—just solo.

13. Traveling alone is one of your all-time dreams. And, you have no problem going to a new country all by yourself.

14. You think that people who need to go with someone everywhere (including running errands, or going to the hair salon, or even traveling) are crazy and dependent.

15. People always say you’re the most independent person they’ve ever met.

16. You always people-watch and study body language when you’re out, thinking about their stories and where they come from.

17. You don’t understand why people hate eating by themselves.

18. People never worry about you if they haven’t heard from you in a while because they know you’re always around, just under the radar.

19. The only person you’d ever consider spending your life with is someone who is just as independent as you are because you cannot imagine having to do everything with someone else tied to your side all of the time.

20. You wouldn’t trade your alone time in for anything in the world—except, maybe, a million dollars.

Why Every Girl Needs To Be A Little More Unfiltered

She’s been called “crazy” many times just for having feelings and being unfiltered. Are human beings not supposed to have human emotions anymore? She must have missed the memo.

She used to hide her so-called-crazy. She used to apologize for it, but she won’t anymore because it’s just who she is. She’s a bold, crazy, unfiltered, brash, outspoken girl and she doesn’t give a single fuck.

1. She’ll never pretend to be someone she’s not.

She’s happy. She’s had bad relationships and great ones, been in love and fallen out of it. Trying to hide her true self only got her hurt.

Now she’s her authentic self at all times and her authentic self just so happens to be a badass bitch. Sorry, not sorry, that makes her pretty awesome.

2. She gets what she wants when she wants it, no games necessary.

Unfiltered girls tell the truth, even when it’s harsh. She asks the hard questions in the heat of the moment, goes with her instincts, and acts on what her conscience tells her.

And that’s why she gets what she wants. She says what she wants and fights for it when necessary; eventually, she gets it.

3. She never hides her true intentions.

If she only wants to sleep with him and keep romance out of it, she lets him know right away. If she’s falling for him, she tells him. When she’s in love, she says so, even if she’s scared or it’s “too soon.”

She won’t sugar coat shit. She knows what and who she wants. She wants a king, not a prince because she’s a queen, not a princess.

4. No one fucks with her… at least, not more than once.

Her reputation precedes her. She’s intimidating for a reason: to protect herself. She DGAF who’s scared of her or who calls her crazy (it’s actually a compliment at this point.)

Men know not to play with her heart like it’s silly putty. People who haven’t even met her already know her…well, they know that “she’s crazy.” Her resting bitch face helps deter the few who don’t.

5. She’s passionate and she’ll fight to keep the things she loves.

She knows how to love. She feels every feeling to the extreme, that’s why she acts on every little thing. Every pesky argument she starts comes from an uncontrollable place in her brain that’s directly connected to her heart.

She wouldn’t be worried that someone was lying to her if they didn’t matter. All of her craziness is pure, caring, and true; it’s dramatic, but it’s not an act. She doesn’t fight for people who aren’t worth it.

6. She’s herself, always, and there’s no one she’d rather be.

She has absolutely #nofilter. She says what she thinks when she thinks it. When she says “I’m fine,” she’s actually fine. She doesn’t have two personalities and she’ll never put on a show for anyone.

She will never change. Anyone who thinks that’s a bad thing can walk away – she won’t care. She’s not interested in wasting her time on people who want her to be different. She may be unfiltered, but she’s sure as hell never boring.

What To Know Before You Fall For The Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own

“A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with.” Ellen J. Barrier

The girl who’s used to being on her own is a complex beautiful being. She’s a walking paradox because she’s tough but sweet as can be. Her unique way to take life by the horns is attractive and hypnotizing. She’s the type to make you want to open up to life and get your shit together. She won’t put up with bullshit or anything less from you and that’s gonna challenge you to be the best version of yourself, so you can be with her and enjoy life together to the fullest.

1. She will keep you in line, but not in the controlling type of way, that’s not her style.

She’ll be supportive and caring in every possible way but she’ll expect you to be self-sufficient, strong-willed and independent. She basically wants to find and be with someone who’s her equal. Because for her, being in a relationship means living separate lives together.

2. She doesn’t need a man to define her, she just wants a man to love and share her ups and downs with.

She wants to be with someone who can challenge her emotionally and intellectually and can also accept her for who she is and not for what you want her to be. She’s not the girl for you if you try to change her in any way. It’s important to her that you respect her goals, dreams and life choices but most of all, her independence. She’ll respect yours as well, after all, she’s the girl who’s used to being on her own and understands that love has nothing to do with owning someone. Love is about accepting someone wholeheartedly for who they are

3. She’s fun and witty but also sensitive and enigmatic.

An independent girl like her who knows where she stands in every aspect of her life doesn’t need to play games. She knows what she wants and how to get it, so if you’re into her and want to have a chance with her heart, don’t bother playing with her emotions.

4. She’s very confident of herself but warming up to people might not be her greatest quality.

Just be patient with her and eventually she’ll realize that your intentions are pure and she’ll allow herself to be more trusting and open with her emotions.

5. The girl who’s not used to needing anyone has many layers, but that’s just her way of selecting who’s worth getting close to her heart.

Just be yourself, be honest and kind. When you feel like you can’t figure her out she’ll show you how to get through her guarded heart.

6. Don’t let her complexities fool you, trust that she’s observing all of you and slowly letting you into her life.

Her love is as strong as her fear to feel that for once she’ll allow herself to need you. But that fear will go away once you prove to her that you’re what her heart needs.

This girl is a keeper and you wanna take the time to experience every bit of her complexities.

To The Girl Doing Too Much For Everyone And Not Enough For Herself, Read This

It’s okay to admit it — being the one who everyone relies on gets hard sometimes. It doesn’t make you less amazing or less of a woman. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

We all have bad days.

It’s okay to accept them for what they are though: just a bad day. Not every day is bad. It’s not a bad life. You are no less because you had a bad day. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move forward. You’ve got this.

We are all fighting a different battle, facing our own challenges, and struggling with different things but we all have one thing in common. We have hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations and we’re going to keep going until we reach them. And we have too many people relying on us to fail.

Maybe you chose the journey you’re on, or maybe life happened and this is how it played out.

Either way, it’s here now and you’re doing it. You’ve come too far to stop now and there are too many people relying on you.

I know the feeling of wanting to quit…of wanting to crawl under a rock, to hide so no one can find me and ask me for anything else. I know the feeling of not having any more of yourself to give and yet someone else is asking for a piece of you.

Everyone wants a piece of you and no one gets how thin you’re already spread.

When you have those moments remember there are others in your shoes. We’re here. We’re fighting the same battles. We’re exhausted. We’re moody.

We want to quit just like you, but we won’t because we’ve come too far to give up now and too many people are relying on us.

When you want to break down, go ahead. Go ahead and cry.

Go ahead and take that nap. Go for a run. Read a book. Do whatever you need to do to be the best you possible.

I know you feel selfish. I know you feel like you should just be able to keep going. In reality, though, you’re human and sometimes you need a break and that’s okay. We can’t always be superwoman.

No matter where you are in this journey of life someone sees you.

Someone knows how hard you’re working. And there’s a whole army of us out here doing it with you. Look around and you’ll see you’re not alone. And next time you feel like giving up know we’re there with you but you just have to keep going.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and as long as you keep moving, no matter how slow, you will make it.

30 Signs You’ve Found A Man Who Can Handle An Alpha Female

The sign of a real man? The guy who can handle your strong personality

  1. He doesn’t call you a bitch just because you speak your mind.
  2. He likes when you challenge him…
  3. ..because your no-bullshit-attitude brings you two closer.
  4. He might admit you’re complicated…
  5.  …but he enjoys your strong, complex mind.
  6. He’s been bored in the past with others who were passive and never took charge.
  7. He’s tough but easygoing.
  8. ..because he isn’t easily hurt or offended by your bluntness.
  9. He is excited—not threatened—by your life outside the relationship.
  10. …your career, friends, family, work: he wants to hear about all of them.
  11. He doesn’t waste your time with excessive lateness or flake-outs.
  12. He totally gets that your time is just as valuable as his own.
  13. He doesn’t test your emotional boundaries by playing the cold shoulder.
  14. So you don’t spend nights wondering if he cares about you.
  15. He seems energized by your energy, not drained by it.
  16. When you’re making lots of plans and taking charge, he thinks it makes you awesome, not bossy.
  17. He encourages you to follow your dreams, no matter how crazy they are.
  18. …because he gets that you won’t ever be truly happy as a stay-at-home gal.
  19. He doesn’t walk out when you have late night fights…
  20. …when you’re angry, he takes all your words to heart rather than being turned off by how forward you can be.
  21. On days or nights when you’re busy because you have to put your career first, he doesn’t take it to mean you don’t care about him.
  22. In fact, he seems proud that you’re such a go-getter.
  23. On days or nights, you spend with friends or family, he never gets possessive.
  24. On your girls’ night, he’s happy watching the game, not blowing up your phone jealous about what you’re doing out without him.
  25. He doesn’t second-guess your decisions…
  26. ..but he isn’t afraid to tell you what he really thinks when you need to hear some hard truths.
  27. He doesn’t see your personality as a barrier to intimacy.
  28. He knows that you can hold onto your independence and hold on to him at the same time.
  29. Your Alpha-ness ? you can’t be loving, too.
  30. He gets that you love just as strong as you live all the other parts of your life.

I Will Buy My Own Damn Chocolates

Cute pictures, fancy dinners, and thousands of different gifts. Yet, I am sitting here single scrolling through Facebook. I will spend this night alone just like many other nights.

I won’t be taken out to a fancy dinner or given gifts I can post about on Facebook. I will be alone, at home, just me, myself, and I. Single as can be and loving every second of it.

Every year on Valentine’s Day, every couple seems so much happier than usual.

Relationships get glorified to seem like the better choice. It is advertised everywhere “Buy your loved one flowers” “Buy your Valentine some chocolates” “Buy her a necklace” and it sucks to see all those advertisements knowing you will not be getting any flowers, chocolate, or jewelry this year. Forget about all those little gifts and look at the big picture. Today you may be sad you didn’t receive flowers but in a week you may be thanking God that you are single and have all the freedom you can dream of.

I am a strong independent single woman, and I will buy my own damn chocolates.

I don’t “need” someone in my life to buy me all those things. I am happy where I am in my life. This holiday used to make me so jealous every time it came around and I was single. Everyone looked so happy while I sat at home looking at all the gifts they got and all their cute posts on social media. I would spend every Feb 14th sad at home watching romantic movies and eating the chocolates I got from my mother.

Now, I appreciate the holiday. I tell my loved ones just how much I love them and buy them little gifts. I may still be single, but now I have enough confidence that I am not jealous of couples and I don’t feel alone. Growing up has shown me that every relationship has its ups and downs and couples are not always as happy as they seem. This holiday glorifies the good part of relationships instead of the entirety of them. Everything is not always as good as it seems.

Valentine’s Day may glorify the perks of being in a relationship at that specific point in time but if you are not with someone, that’s a sign that you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life. You are meant to be single right now, so why let some hallmark holiday make you feel sad or jealous. Be confident enough in yourself to know that you will find someone and you will find that happiness one day. You will spend many Valentines’ days with the love of your life, just not this one.

So smile, while others may be faking happiness, you are happy and focused on only yourself.

Look beyond all the advertisements and keep a smile on your face this Valentine’s Day. You are exactly where you are supposed to be in your life right now. Eat all the chocolate you want, hell, go buy yourself some flowers.

You don’t need any man girl, love yourself.

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