Growing up with sisters can be a blessing and a curse. For one, you have endless closets to raid and makeup to borrow. But, girls can be the pettiest and ruthless individuals in the world—especially when you wrong them. Try doing wrong by your sister, and you can bet your ass you’re in for a long haul of telling mom you snuck out to meet a guy and tons of savage commentary.
Some people have a dark sense of humor and laugh at things that definitely are controversial and touching. Cartoonist James Lecarpentier is a genius of the most iconic variety when it comes to capturing dark humor. Lecarpentier employs the darkest of comedy in his short and sweet Good Bear Comics, which frequently go viral for their relatable, self-effacing/inspiring, funny/sad, pure/twisted subject matter.
There are some women out there that complain that their boobs are “too small” and they wish that they could grow bigger boobs overnight. But, then there are the ladies who pray every single day that their boobs would just shrink overnight. Big boob problems are a real thing. Any top heavy girl knows what I mean.
h/t: Twitter
Ariana Grande has proven to the world that she is a force to be reckoned with. With her two latest albums—Sweetener and Thank U, Next—breaking records on multiple charts, it’s no surprise that Coachella asked the Grammy-winning artist to headline the festival this year.
Grande experienced multiple technical difficulties the first weekend of the festival—Numerous guests had their microphones out of sync, making many of the performances sloppy.
ARIANA SWEETIE IM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT LEMON BUT… I CANT BELIEVE CHRIS AND I SAW THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US JSKSJW pic.twitter.com/SoJvdEwQjn
— kayleigh (@KayleighPerezz) April 22, 2019
did beyoncé throw that lemon at ariana ?? 🍋 lmao beychella impact is real 💀 #arichella https://t.co/YzDbca3a1N
— joseph ★ (@stussyjoseph) April 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/badideakyle/status/1120212819113381888
https://twitter.com/finneas/status/1120221237500755969
https://twitter.com/sweetnerdreamss/status/1120223699393761281
why are people throwing LEMONS of all things at Ariana? who just has a lemon with them at a music festival I’m confused
— Emmy (@somekindofsin) April 22, 2019
What immature swine threw a fucking whole ass lemon at Ariana, what were they trying to achieve? That would of fucking hurt!! ELECTRIC CHAIR! pic.twitter.com/QXg15PIJMd
— bella💋 (@arianasbella) April 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/ghostiindeluxe/status/1120224997526519808
the lemon when it was thrown at ariana #arichella pic.twitter.com/QHTlFLs7sU
— jamie (@jamjamgrande) April 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/getwckdsoon/status/1120225455179800576
https://twitter.com/iconicgabe/status/1120215291793956865
https://twitter.com/DANCESlVAN/status/1120321061059428352
https://twitter.com/capitalized/status/1120213061191626752
https://twitter.com/VirgoFrom/status/1120212961157615617
h/t: BuzzFeed
Planning a wedding is absolutely no joke—especially if you’re easily stressed out. Between buying a wedding dress, getting your bridesmaids in order, inviting everyone you know and love, making tables—forget it, I’d rather elope than have to deal with the headache. If you’ve ever had to plan a nuptial then you know the deal—you’ll feel these deep down in your soul.
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h/t: BoredPanda.
For a while now, the wonderful people of the Internet who come up with our brilliant memes and jokes have had a vendetta against middle-aged women. You know, the moms who are unhappy with their lives and love to pick on us youngsters for our taste in–everything. The Carol’s, the Karen’s, the Janets, and the Debra’s of the world are always coming at us from out of nowhere with probing questions about why we do what we do. But, we have no time for their trash and instead, we turn them into the butt of every one of our jokes.
https://twitter.com/ohemgeeijizzed/status/860165374121299969?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fjakelaycock%2F26-of-the-best-shut-up-carol-tweets-youll-ever-1un3f
hate when people say "if u think this is better than sex, u haven't had good sex!", like no, maybe you've just never had good lasagna, Carol
— Audrey Porne (@AudreyPorne) August 4, 2017
kid dressed as dog: "trick or treat"
me:
wife: "give him some chocolate then"
me: "i don't want to kill him linda"— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) October 31, 2016
https://twitter.com/cinnagon_/status/863916608489762816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fjakelaycock%2F26-of-the-best-shut-up-carol-tweets-youll-ever-1un3f
https://twitter.com/Jay_FrickinLynn/status/616682283446222848?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Ftwentytwowords.com%2Funless-your-name-is-carol-or-linda-these-tweets-will-definitely-make-you-laugh%2F
Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers arrested rapper 21 Savage on Sunday, stating that his visa expired last year, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and the AP. Sources state that the rapper, whose legal name is Sha Yaa Bin Abraham-Joseph, is actually from the United Kingdom—despite being known as a popular “Atlanta rapper.” ICE has said that Savage was taken into custody in a “targeted operation.”
The rapper is now facing deportation.
While 21 Savage’s team is focusing on his release and fixing up any misunderstandings with the U.S. government, the Internet has been on fire with dank memes that have had everyone laughing for hours. While anyone being deported is incredibly f**ked up, we have no choice but to use our disappointment in the American Justice System and channel it into jokes.
https://twitter.com/saucyscvm/status/1092245042067107841
https://twitter.com/MrqBndt/status/1092241361817034753
https://twitter.com/markazbeats/status/1092233687234682883
when 21 savage said "don't come out the house, 'cause the gang's outside" this is what he meant pic.twitter.com/TZsp8Q2QEX
— doinkus (@templefall) February 4, 2019
This how 21 Savage be writing his verses pic.twitter.com/c2deHSXAcS
— Malik (@malikypark) February 4, 2019
21 Savage: We got London on the track…
ICE: pic.twitter.com/TphzVwK73p— Noah Oleszczuk (@noah_tweets1) February 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/ELJEFEGORD0/status/1092239128140398592
Why y’all 21 Savage like this?! 😩 pic.twitter.com/cjoL3W8w1r
— WORLDSTARHIPHOP (@WORLDSTAR) February 3, 2019
ICE: so where are u REALLY from, sir?
21 savage: https://t.co/A8mztKHD39— car 🍦 (@cancerrizing) February 4, 2019
21 savage’s real 12 car garage pic.twitter.com/PpiEvuvHZ9
— Clint (@theclintlane) February 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/GreatValueKimK/status/1092241190106349568
ICE Niggas: *tries to arrest 21 Savage*
21 Savage: pic.twitter.com/YtJ5wyaLcM
— Carl Amaya (@CarlAmaya13) February 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/michaelhorsfiel/status/1092251639640145920
https://twitter.com/powers_ec/status/1092227891205718016
https://twitter.com/unpocoloko_yoko/status/1092236217268256769
21 Savage: “grew up in the mud, I ain’t own nothin” pic.twitter.com/ZbWmyOwdEy
— the almighty virgin™️ (@YourLordBibba) February 4, 2019
21 savage got king Arthur’s sword on his forehead. how did we not know he was British pic.twitter.com/zuNkRTMvay
— edward (@edwardinh09) February 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/ImJoelRobertson/status/1092252994308067328
https://twitter.com/rezonlat/status/1092228034021666817
When ICE busted down 21 savage door pic.twitter.com/LSr8DywHc2
— 🔣🔣🔣🔣 (@aaortiz1124) February 4, 2019
Some people are filled with rainbows and sunshine. Others, however, have decided to forgo the sunshine-y goodness in favor of all things dark, twisted and just a little bit despicable. Continue reading 21 Jokes For Everybody Who Can Barely Get Through The Day Without Rolling Their Eyes
For many of us, the idea of dying is pretty scary. Not only are we enamored by the idea of “what happens next,” but we’re also worried if anyone will care that we’re gone. Like, how much do you wonder if people will actually show up to your funeral? No? Just me? Okay then. Well, with all of my constant anxiety of being remembered as a good person and actually having people come to mourn me, I can now rest assured knowing I can always pay some great people out there to stand at my funeral to make it look like I was liked and cared for.
26-year-old writer and journalist Dana Schwartz recently shared a brilliant idea on Twitter saying that for $50, she’ll come to your funeral and stand far away, holding a black umbrella and looking shady—so people will think that you have lived a secret life and died a mystery. Honestly…amazing.
If you pay me $50 I’ll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019
She also provided her Venmo account information, you know, in case people actually wanted to cash in and have Schwartz attend their funeral—eventually. She also made some other hefty promises along with her funeral attendance.
my venmo is dana-schwartz-11 I will need the money deposited in advanced, and your obituary will need to be published in a newspaper so I can write a code on the back and leave it at your grave for someone to find. the code will be nonsense.
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019
And, people actually Venmo’d Schwartz with some requests.
EXCUSE ME I HAVE TO FIND A VINTAGE CIGARETTE HOLDER STAT. I HAVE A FUNERAL TO MOROSELY GAZE UPON. pic.twitter.com/hOeQcSggdX
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019
But, the jokes on those who really paid her—because, she said she’ll show up for sure.
people venmoing me: jokes on you, I’m actually coming to your funeral.
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 4, 2019
But, people on Twitter had a lot of other requests for Schwartz. Like, this guy who wanted a birthday mystery.
I will pay you $50 if you show up on my birthday but stand really far away, holding a bouquet of flowers and gifts ?, so that my wife?? think I am still in the race.
— milan motavar (@milanmmotavar) January 5, 2019
And, these wild detailed requests…
Ill give you $75 if when the casket is going down you walk over and place a small box on top and say only loud enough for a few people to hear “if they only knew”
— dick (@spursyyank) January 5, 2019
$100 if she smears her eye makeup and leaves a single rose in my casket, drinks from a flask and leaves without saying a word.
— PATRICK HAYES (@HAZE1075) January 5, 2019
How much for the spectral package? Weighted clothes that stay unmoving even in a stiff wind, vanishing abruptly through clever misdirection, heavy makeup to appear definitively dead, vague whispered warnings and/or sobbing softly,clearly audible even after you’ve disappeared, etc
— Bill, a GM (@gm_wggames) January 5, 2019
I’m donating my body to science
$50 if you show up in a lab coat incredibly worried and asking “Did she ever mention having a wierd skeleton?”
Extra $200 if you put a fake skeleton in your car and mutter “Jesus christ she found me”— MissCryptid (@MissCryptid) January 6, 2019
Extra $50 if you’re gone two seconds later when people look again.
— Kevin Demsky (@Luxescene) January 6, 2019
Ummmmm…. I’ll pay you $50 to do exactly this. Add this on top of slowly playing the music to a jack in the box the entire time my casket is closed and its gonna be one hell of a funeral ?
— Matt M (@MattM071) January 5, 2019
For $80 can you also silently dab away tears from behind a pair of large dark sunglasses?
— TrenchCoat4Hire (@TrenchCoat4Hire) January 5, 2019
I’ll throw in an extra 500 for a red hat or red dress.
— BandanaChris ?? (@BandanaChris) January 5, 2019
How much to walk up to a random funeral attendee, hand them a manilla envelope full of gibberish financial documents and say “He said you would understand these. Don’t contact me again. They could be watching.”
— GrayKnighted (@GrayKnighted) January 7, 2019
It’s great to see that everyone on Twitter wants to leave the Earth f*cking with their family and loved ones. I love me some shady folks. Thanks for making me look forward to death, y’all.
Like when the Death Star blue up Alderaan in A New Hope, millions cried out in terror when they opened their Instagram app this morning to find that vertical scrolling was no longer a thing. Folks immediately vented their rage on Twitter; an app that, despite it’s many issues, still knows that vertical scrolling is the superior scrolling. The vitriol was so intense that Instagram actually walked back on the update a few hours later. Oof.
Me coming to twitter to check everyone else hates the new instagram update#instagramupdate #instagram pic.twitter.com/TM6PtN1xTf
— Taki Taki (@lensofmonu) December 27, 2018
instagram, if i wanted tinder, i would have downloaded tinder.
— Elle Mills (@millselle) December 27, 2018
When Instagram releases an update and within 15 minutes everybody hates it #InstagramUpdate pic.twitter.com/2l0wBZwU78
— Meg Warpus (@MegWarpus) December 27, 2018
Instagram should of sent out this lol #Instagramupdate pic.twitter.com/A8l5Hd6gI6
— Marisol? (@MarisolEquihua) December 27, 2018
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?the absolute worst update they’ve ever released#instagramupdate— Seamus Daniel (@seamusmdaniel) December 27, 2018
Instagram literally went “felt cute but might delete later” #instagramupdate
— Basma (@basmahxmde) December 27, 2018
This.???https://t.co/LMpAUe5sCb
— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) December 26, 2018
Instagram making that new update like #instagramupdate pic.twitter.com/cpyKp1jSwL
— Meg ? (@voidkermit) December 27, 2018
A live look at everyone logging on to Instagram this morning: #instagramupdate pic.twitter.com/mduvrengdn
— RPI (@rpimusic) December 27, 2018
ME @instagram WITH THIS NEW INSTAGRAM UPDATE EWW #instagramupdate pic.twitter.com/b7CK14hADw
— Louise (@vic_tav_fan) December 27, 2018
