This Is The Way A Strong Woman Loves

Strong Woman

 

A strong woman loves like a gentle rain swirling into a hurricane. Her love is cautious as she fights to maintain her independence; reserved as she convinces herself that she doesn’t need a man in her life. But slowly and steadily, she lets herself fall into him, washing away her inhibitions, loving him fiercely.

 

A strong woman loves with steadfast reserve turned to unquellable passion. She wades into his life unafraid that he will break her but constantly wondering if she should embrace her ability to feel. His love for her strikes her in the center of her hardened heart, and she rapidly melts under its weight. As she plummets, courageously aware that there is nothing to cushion the pain, her strength manifests in her powerful, steady feelings for him.

The Biggest Lessons You Learn Being Raised By A Single Mom

Growing up, things were never easy. Our household consisted of coupon cutting, sporadic family time, and a lot of rushed meals. My mother worked full-time, 6-days a week, and my sisters and I were all at different stages of our life, academically and socially. We were a tight-knit gang of 4—supporting each other every step of the way, but I’d be lying if I said things were easy.

There were times where I answered the phone and the bank was calling about money owed, times when I needed money for a school trip and the funds just weren’t there, times when I woke up in the middle of the night and heard my mom crying, quietly in her room. There were memories that I look back on and wonder if there were things I could have changed. But, there are traits and lessons I have learned, throughout the years, that made me realize that growing up with a single mother was the biggest blessing I could have been given.

 

How to manage my money.

My mother worked very hard to make sure that my sisters and I had everything we needed. But, working on a single income in New York City with three kids is not easy. In fact, my mom had to budget the sh*t out of her paycheck every single month to make sure she had enough to cover rent, food, electric, clothes, extracurricular funds, etc. Everyone in my family laughs and calls my mom the “bargain hunter,” but, she’s taught me the value of always looking for a less-expensive route in all that I do. Now, as an adult who has moved out on my own, I’m always looking for sales, looking at circular fliers, and trying to get everything for the lowest price possible. In the end, it only pays off—literally.

 

 

7 Dating Mistakes To Avoid In 2020 So Your Love Life Isn’t God Awful Again

Let’s face it—2018 wasn’t the best year for everyone when it comes to love. There are so many times we’ve made mistakes: we’ve drunk texted our ex to rekindle the flame only to be burned twice as hard, we’ve broken up with people we realized we should have never pushed out of our lives, and we’ve isolated ourselves from finding true love because we have a sour outlook on dating overall. 

Whatever the reason your love life took a bad left turn this year, it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed forever. In fact, there are so many opportunities and ways to fix your broken romance cycle this coming year, and we’re here to help you out.

 

1. Not being honest.

This is not only for yourself, but the person you are dating as well. We all have a gut instinct when it comes to anything in life and you need to be honest with yourself when your gut is speaking to you. Stop ignoring your guy and lying to yourself that your gut isn’t trying to tell you something; because it is. Be honest with how you really feel about the person you are with. Something in a relationship things starts out great in the beginning but after a few months, it’s not the same relationship. That is okay but it is important to be honest with yourself if you are staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in.

 

2. Chasing love that you truly know will never be yours.

Guilty as charged. A lot of us are. It is a natural behavior to chase after something you know that you can’t have or know isn’t right for you. That is a phase that you will eventually fall out of. “Chasing after someone that is not attainable will get old fast and wasting your time doing that will prevent you from chasing someone that is meant to be yours. Yes, the chase is fun every once and a while; and no one likes it when a relationship is easy. Things are boring that way, but it is very important to make sure you are chasing after someone that is attainable in the end. Time wasted is never satisfying.

 

3. Showing aggressive behavior towards the other person and the relationship you are trying to build.

A.K.A. coming on too strong, forcing the relationship too quickly, stalking the person’s every move after you first meet etc….All behaviors that are unnatural and will prove that you are too crazy to be with before a real relationship can actually blossom. You also can not force a relationship to happen. It just never works out that way. By engaging in aggressive behaviors that try to force a relationship you will just push the relationship back further from ever being a serious thing.

 

A Thank You To My Mom, Everything I Am Is Because of You

From the moment I entered this world, my mom has had my back. She is my absolute everything.

She is the first one I call when something goes wrong and the first one I call when something incredible happens.

She was there when I was a rebellious teen and pushed her away and is still here now that I’m twenty-something and call her thirteen times a day.

I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better woman to be my mother. She is my teacher, my comforter, my home, my best friend. She has never steered me wrong.

She has stood by me through stupid boys, late night study sessions, random phone calls asking what setting the washing machine should be on because I’d never lived away from her before.

Through every smile and every stress-induced, tear-filled, crazy moment, she’s been there.

She knows exactly how I think and how deeply I feel things, and, most importantly, she knows I don’t mean the things I say when I’m hangry.

Without a doubt, she is my rock and will forever be my best friend. I would be lost in this world without this beautiful angel I was assigned.

She carries me when I am weak, picks me up when I fail, and rejoiceswith me when I succeed.

She has taught me that it’s okay to make mistakes and that my ponytails don’t have to be bump-free. She has taught me how to love but also how to stand up for myself.

Everything that I am and hope to be I owe to my mother. I wouldn’t be half of what I am today if not for her guidance, love, and support.

I could write pages about her forgiveness, kindness, strength, unconditional love… But no amount of words could ever express how grateful I am to have her in my life or just how much I love her.

For more from RC, visit her writer’s page here. 

Married Women Share The One Thing They Wish They Could Tell Their Single Friends

Getting married is a very special moment for anyone involved, but especially special for the bride. Many women dream of their wedding day and starting a family with their soulmate. However, once they get married, their lives change. For women who get married and still have a bunch of friends who are single, it can be hard for them to understand the complexities of marriage and starting a family. For those who are married, you know how it can be—your single friends want to go out, go on vacations, and constantly do things spontaneously, not realizing that a marriage is between two people who make decisions together. Therefore, it’s difficult for some married women to have their single friends understand all of their “new life” changes.

Recently, BuzzFeed asked their female users who are married to share the one thing they wish they could tell their single friends about marriage and daily life. While some women focus on the changes you undergo when getting married, others had some brilliant life-long advice for new marriedwomen to follow.

1.

Please understand if we’re busy and on our time off we want to hang out with our spouse. I’ve went to considerably less girls nights since I’ve been married, not because I don’t enjoy hanging out with them, but because I want to spend time with my husband when I can.

amberyr

2.

Getting married and having a family is wonderful. However, I had to move when I got married. This created an emotional (and quite literal) distance between my single friends and me. The reality is: You gain a lot when you get married, but you also lose some things too. It can become a brand new environment. But still, my single friends need to know that I haven’t forgotten them.

kellyt4f2d08291

3.

When I say I need to check with my partner, it’s not because I need “permission”. We do things as a team, it’s important for us to run plans past each other to keep our family running smoothly and to show we respect each other.

jessicar4e9f53a2d

4.

Marriage is not romance and roses everyday. Marriage is choosing someone and making the effort to be the pest person possible for them especially when it’s really hard.

l4fef36788

5.

That marriage doesn’t magically change your relationship. People always ask how’s married life and honestly it’s the same just with differenttitles and as with all relationships, it’s work.

lindseyn12

6.

We may vent about our spouses but that doesn’t mean we have a bad marriage. It just means we need to vent, or talk through a problem with someone so we can find a solution or figure out how we feel about it. Don’t make assumptions about my marriage because I need to talk or vent about one of my husband’s annoying habits.

amyrousep

7.

Try not to judge your friends when they already have plans with their spouse and can’t hang out with you. Just because we live together doesn’t mean we always spend fun, quality time together. Many people marry their best friends, and we want to hang out with them, too!

kelseyc4761a3328

8.

My marriage isn’t perfect because I talk about all the great things. It’s also not terrible when I talk about all the bad things. People tend to talk about the extreme highs and the extreme lows. You need somewhere to vent when bad things happen and someone to be happy with you when the good things happen.

homebody13

9.

Just because I’m married does not mean I need to be with my husband 24/7. Please still invite me to girls night out and brunch. I don’t want my husband to be my only friend.

tuamater13

10.

To single friends who want to stay single: do you! I want to hear about your exploits and gossip with you and go to bars and hang out with you just like before.

To single friends looking for “the one”: ignore all the cutesy quotes and people telling you what marriage and love are “absolutely” like. Every person is different and every relationship is different. The only way to go wrong is if there is abuse or neglect. Marry the person you can’t imagine your life without. Or at least, the one you don’t WANT to imagine life without.

d4ea205bf0

11.

Don’t just marry someone because things are always great with them 100% of the time and they make you the happiest you’ve ever been. Marry someone that you’ve gone through hell AND BACK with because chances are you’ll hit tough timesagain and you’ll know they’ll still be there when it’s over.

melissaw23

12.

Just because I’m married, doesn’t mean that I am going to have kids! And it’s rude to ask!

a485ce6abc

13.

Marriage is an ever changing beast. As you grow your desires and dreams for your life may change. Your partner is learning how to grow with you and that process looks different for everyone. No person comes with instructions. Our emotions change and so do our looks/bodies. It’s all a part of life that can’t be ignored by your partner. Their response to life’s situations will be different than yours and figuring out life’s complexities are hard. Marriage that lasts a long timeare about two people who commit to working alongside the crazy ride of life.

jonellemitchellc

14.

Stop saying that we are your relationship goals. That puts undue pressure on us and makes it seem as though marriage is easy. It is not. It is work.

Booknerd13

15.

I want you to tell me if I’m not there enough. My marriage is obviously extremely important to me…. but without friends you have NOTHING. If you need me, please ask me. I value being a good friend just as much if not more than being a good wife. No I don’t want to go bar hopping on a Saturday night, but I WILL if you need me too,m and probably love every minute of it.

ginger01

16.

You don’t feel like a third wheel to us when you hang out with me and my husband. Or with us and other couples. We still want you around. Also, my husband is my best friend and while I still want to hang out with you one and one, I really want my friends to also be friends with my spouse. So sometimes we’re a joint package.

daisyliz

17.

Love isn’t this high you ride your whole life with your spouse. It gets hard and the best way to combat divorce is knowing that going it. Marriage is choosing to commit to that person because you love them in a different way even when butterflies come and go. Even when the feelings are gone the best thing I’ve found is to start treating one another like you’re still dating- if you used to bring them ice cream randomly, or light the room with candles… the hard part is doing it when you truly don’t want to.

ekc27

18.

Marriage is not an end goal. Being married doesn’t solve all your problems. Stop fantasizing that if you were only married, life would be better. Yes, sometimes it’s nice to have my husband to come home to.

catherinecombs

19.

Marriage is work especially when both people are dealing with mental health illnesses. I know work sounds like a bad thing but it’s not. It’s working on ourselves and relationship that will enrich us and help us continue to grow as individuals as well as in our relationship. Being vulnerable has helped us come a long way. Understanding their mental health is important too and makes them feel validated. At the end of the day my spouse is my best friend.

Straberriepinapple

20.

A wedding rarely solves any problems. If you and your partner have an issue while dating, it will most likely be there after the wedding day. You should talk about everything before you get married so that there are no surprises later. Do you want kids and how many? What do you consider to be cheating? ? How do they want to be buried? Who gets the dog if you break up? What happens if one of you ends up on life support? Will you tell your children santa is real or fake? Just everything you can think of should have been decided before you say I do.

CandyKitten

I’m Always Going To Choose My Boyfriend Over My Friends And I’m Not Sorry About It

Choosing my boyfriend over my friends is an easy choice for me. Because growing up, my mother used to tell me that it was a poor choice to ever put a guy before your girlfriends. No matter what happens, or who you date, your friends should always come first. Growing up, I truthfully believed in this notion—because most of my relationships were immature, young-love that wouldn’t last long. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that sometimes, you do need to put your relationship before your friendships and there’s a good reason to do so.

When I started dating someone pretty seriously in my early 20s, not all of my friends were in relationships. In fact, most of them weren’t. I’ve always been the girl who enjoyed being in a full-blown, romance-filled relationship than playing the field. And, while I enjoy the long-term commitment, some of my close friends were single and thriving. This, often times, led to a clash of priorities. My friends always wanted to go out and meet guys at the bar—but, I was taken, not wanting to be their “wing woman,” flirting with the guy’s friend.

Regardless of my relationship, I always made it out. I didn’t want to fulfill my mother’s warning that when you distance yourself from your friends, you look as though your boyfriend means more than your relationship. And I didn’t want my friends to rag on me and call me a sh*tty friend for not putting them as a priority. I told my boyfriend that I had plans almost every weekend—trying to maintain my single girlfriends and my boyfriend at the same time. This led to stumbling home late at night drunk, forgetting to text my boyfriend back. Or, people seeing me out at bars and assuming the worst about me—that I was cheating.

I need to choose my boyfriend over my friend. Here is why. Truth be told, that relationship taught me a lot of lessons—especially because it didn’t last. Now, being in a much more serious relationship, much older, and a lot wiser—I’ve realized that there is nothing wrong with putting my boyfriend and my relationship first when I feel as though it’s better for me and the relationship overall.

I still have friends who are single—in fact, my best friend since 7th grade is single and always looking to mingle. But, now that I’m in my late 20’s and living with my SO, I know that there are things I will turn down and say no to, because the health of my relationship comes first. I’ve changed the way I interact with my friends—sometimes—because I know that there is a future to be had here at home.

This is someone that, eventually, I want to marry and raise a family with. So, if I know that he’s not super comfortable with me going to a party where I’ll run into my ex, or he doesn’t really want me wearing something super tight and revealing—I’m comfortable and okay with putting my boyfriend, before friends.

Does this mean that I’m distancing myself from my friendships entirely for my relationship? Absolutely not.

In all honesty, it’s learning how to maintain both my friendships and my relationship to keep everyone happy—but, most of all, keeping myself happy. My friends know that I’m not going to want to go out and play wing woman with them, drinking until 3 A.M. at the bar and stumbling home. They know that I’m not the girl who’s going to spontaneously hop a flight with them for a random vacation. They understand that I have someone in my life who is a factor in my decision making—and, they’re okay with it because they love me.

Good friends know that life has levels and phases. The girl who would go out every weekend and leave her boyfriend at home—it was a phase in my life, one that I learned from. Now, being in my late 20s, I’m more focused on my future. I’m focused on building my career, nurturing my relationship, and my friendships, but in a different light. I still see my friends frequently, and we talk every day. They know if they need me, I’d come running. But they know if it’s date night, I’m not available. They know that if my boyfriend needs me, I have to be there, too.

It’s not about completely turning your back on your friendships entirely, but it’s about finding those friends who understand that you’re in a new phase of your life—and, helping to adjust to that, too.

I’m Slowly Learning That Not Everything In Life That Annoys Me Warrants A Reaction

So many times in life, I let little (and big) things drain me. When I’m bothered by something, I let it consume me to the point of no return. I overthink it, I underthink it, I think sideways and backward about it. When something hurts me, offends me, or puts me in a mental space that I don’t like, I immediately react to it—as though someone flipped a switch on my attitude and put a black cloud of rain over my head. My entire day becomes a sequence of verbally spewing the things that bothered me over and over again to anyone who will listen. My entire aura around me becomes disrupted and anything that could make me happy just doesn’t.

The more this happens to me, the more it bothers me. I don’t want to be the person that has a hot trigger on every single part of them. I don’t want to be the girl that gets angry on a whim, who lets every little thing in life get under her skin and drive her mad. Not only is it unhealthy for my mental health, but it puts a bad vibe around me—one that people don’t want to be around.

This year, I’m slowly learning that everything in life that bothers me doesn’t need to disrupt my energy. I’m slowly learning that everything that happens in life does not warrant a reaction from me.

Allowing negative energy to invade my space gives other people and other situations power over me. It allows others to have the power to bring me down and ruin my day. It’s allowing someone to live in my mind—rent free—just because they did something that ticked me off. Reacting to everything that people do wrong won’t make them do things right, it’ll just make me angry.

Instead of complaining, or yelling, or reacting to situations that upset me, I’m learning to rise above it all. I take it all in—realize that whatever has happened has annoyed me and choose to let it go. I roll it off my shoulders, I put it in a safe place, and close the box on it, lock and key.

In life, people think that saying nothing means that you’re a doormat—easy to walk all over and easy to take advantage of. But this year, I’m deciding that saying nothing means you’re a wall—a brick wall—one that cannot be blown over at the sight of adversity and struggle.

Reacting to everything in life won’t change what has happened. It won’t make people love me anymore. It won’t rewind time to fix the situation. Reacting to everything will only drain me—mentally and emotionally. It will allow me to sink below the surface with weights tied to my ankles, struggling to get back to the surface. It will surround my life with grays, and blacks—dull and dark.

This year, instead of letting everyone invade my space, I’m letting things go.

High School Teachers Are Sharing Their Dirty Secrets They’d Never Tell Their Students

Being a teacher is a lot of work—no matter what age your students are. But, when you’re teaching high school, you’re essentially teaching full grown teenagers (and some adults). While kids may be hard to control, trying to keep up with the slang, the technology, the fashion, and the drama can be exhausting. Take it from me, I actually teach high school and, it’s no day at the beach. That’s why us HS teachers have our own, dirty little secrets and habits we keep so near and dear to our hearts. Like, these wonderful fellow teachers on Reddit—I’m definitely stealing some of these.

1.

Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I’m stuck here with you 180 days a year, I want to see some drama.

grumpybatman

2.

Your parents are literally the worst part of my job.

catniss32

3.

I’d let you get away with so much more if you were actually a decent person who treated others with kindness and respect. Assholes rarely get the benefit of doubt or indifference.

ExistentialistJesus

4.

The weed smell doesn’t magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom.

FunkyChromeMedina

5.

If your parents email a teacher and argue with them, the whole staff knows. (At least at my school).

callmedoglady

6.

Yelling “fuck!” in the hallways doesn’t make you a badass. Teachers are yelling fuck in their heads all day long.

lynnmarie31583

7.

That we have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments. And sometimes I pretend not to see that thing you did just because I too found it humorous, and speaking to you about it would only result in me cracking up.

moonwalkersb

8.

When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of “teaching”, I’m really allowing it to happen b/c I don’t have enough planned to cover a full class.

mikeyzjames

9.

Yes, we have a new seating chart… and yes, I sat you next to her because I can tell you have a crush on her. I noticed you try harder on your work when she is around, and to be honest… you two would make a cute couple 🙂

PotemaK

10.

That my students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids.

bomptonbigarettes

11.

Please stop juuling in the classrooms that’s what the bathrooms are for.

deedozcheetoz

12.

That it’s just as weird for me as it is for you when we bump into each other in public.

BumblingBlunderbuss

13.

I teach middle school, not high school, but for me, it’s that I know shit sucks at home. I see it every day when you come into my class. I see the tears you’re hiding, the pain behind that class clown smile, the emotional fragility behind your tough-guy persona. I know exactly what it’s like to come from a broken home. I wish I could do something, but until you come to me, all I can do is try and let you know, with a look, a smile, a subtle turn of phrase, that I’m always there for you when you need an ear, or a shoulder.

Ainyan

14.

You’re unique, you’re not special. Set your goals high but understand that if you change your goals to needs, you will have a lifetime of disappointment.

aldesuda

15.

The odds of you using any specific piece of knowledge you learn in high school is slim. The odds of you using some piece of knowledge from high school is near absolute and you have no idea what it’s going to be or when it will happen, so you may as well try at all of it. The biggest thing you’re going to learn is how to learn.

hey_mr_ess

16.

Your sense of entitlement is most likely acquired from your upbringing, so parent teacher conferences to discuss your grades aren’t going to do shit when the parents just blame us, despite you putting in little to zero effort.

FancyShrimp

17.

To my freshmen, yes I always know when you didn’t do my math because you stayed up late playing Fortnite, you added me as a friend on Epic so I see that. Also the amount of homework not done in lower grades when new battlepasses come out is so coincidental.

To a specific freshman, I support your desire to become a streamer, but editing videos should not keep you away from your homework for a whole week and your friends always rat you out when you stay home/skip to make/edit those videos.

To all highschoolers I teach, you’re dumb, but I do love you guys. I’m not stupid and while I know you cheat on your homework, I don’t care since it’s only worth 10% of your grade and you’re forgoing the practice you can get before the test.

Thechadhimself

18.

I don’t care that you came to class stoned. Just stop interrupting class, and for gods sake, don’t touch any power tools while you’re stoned.

AKraiderfan

19.

I hate the texts as much as you do, but everyone just shrugs when I suggest changing them up! I’m sorry they made us keep that awful After book on the list, I genuinely offered to buy them all back from students so I could burn the waste of time that they are.

Original_AiNE

20.

A lot of us probably drink, smoke, sleep around, etc more than you do, and hearing you talking about it and trying to hide it as if its something we wouldn’t know about is richly ironic.

joerobo

21.

If you are stupid enough to have filmed yourself doing something that can get you in trouble, especially legal trouble, for the love of God don’t post it online.

a_casual_observer

22.

One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy.

If we’re supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way… At the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some shit on your paper, and then I won’t bother you. If you have nothing going on and can’t even be bothered to make it look like you’re trying, I’m heading your way.

This lesson will be invaluable with eventual bosses someday.

SmilingSarcastic1221

23.

Yes, I do have favorite students. No, I won’t tell you who they are because that would discourage you, but yes they’re probably who you imagine them to be.

tit_wrangler

24.

You can be unsuccessful at school but successful in life. I pretend that it is important for you to do well in my subject, but in reality you’ll most probably find your niche in life and be reasonably content or hopefully extremely happy. You might hate Maths, English, Science, but turn out to be the most amazing parent, artist, carpenter or even a mathematician, playwright or researcher. You might get the lowest scores in class and end up being the most successful of your peers. I feign annoyance, anger, disappointment. I reluctantly phone your parents, give you detentions, or write up critical reports. I have to, it’s my job. If you do well in my subject then that’s great, but if you don’t then just relax. We can’t all be good at everything.

Oh, and do you think you hate exams, tests and homework? Your mild dislike of the work is a mere candle flame compared to the hatred that burns like a million suns, that I feel when I have to fucking mark it.

this_is_life_now

Demanding Mom Loses It When Swimming Instructor Won’t Give Her Son Lessons

Some people think they deserve it all and shouldn’t have to pay for any of it. Sure, money is tight for almost everyone (not that 1 percent, though!) and you can’t blame a person for haggling a bit, but some people really have all the nerve.

And even when something is free, they demand all kinds of special considerations, because clearly, their needs are more important than anyone else’s.

Like this ultra-demanding mother who demanded that a swim instructor give her son free private lessons and then got abusive when the instructor wouldn’t do it. Screenshots of the entire text conversation were posted on Reddit, where they’re getting a lot of attention due to the inanity of the situation.

It begins with the mom reaching out to a swim instructor and asking if her son could get lessons.

Reddit

The swim instructor didn’t answer the mom in what she thought was a quick enough manner, so the mom texted repeatedly in the most obnoxious fashion.

Reddit

So, to be clear, this person is offering to teach kids to swim for free, but that’s not good enough for the mom, who wants to be able to choose the time and wants her son to get a private lesson. For free. Did we mention free?

Reddit

Next, the mom comes up with the incorrect idea that somehow her son deserves private lessons because he’s missed out on the lessons the instructor already gave the kids. What the??

Reddit

The woman refused to take no for an answer. The instructor already explained that she couldn’t teach at one because she’d be at work.

Reddit

You May Also Like

And then the instructor got called a “lousy teacher” and a “selfish b*tch” because she wouldn’t bend to this mother’s will.

Reddit

But the mom wasn’t done yet. She went on to call the instructor a “nasty horrible person.”

 Reddit

And now we can see that she’s gone off the deep end, so to speak. How does she know anything about this person who is just being nice by offering free swimming lessons to kids?

Reddit

So the mom wants the teacher to…give her money? What is wrong with some people?

 

Exit mobile version