Things You Should Know Before Dating The Girl Who Conceals Her Anxiety

Anxiety Concealed

People with concealed anxiety often feel anxiety the most intensely because we tend to suppress it a lot. We don’t like to talk about it, we don’t want to admit when we’re overwhelmed, and we will never say when we’re not okay. In fact, it’s probably our worst fear for someone to see us struggling.

1. We’d rather deal with it alone.

We don’t want anyone’s sympathy; we don’t want these labels: The one with anxiety. The one who’s vulnerable. The one with an uneasiness to trust. Because this is only a part of us; but the part that we need to fight every time someone tries to get close to us nevertheless.

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A Changed Perception on OCD

At sixteen, I began a fight with a monster I couldn’t see nor hear. I took the first step of a journey within myself that unbeknownst to me would last a lifetime. Copious amounts of medication was administered just to make everyday life bare-able. However, the medication only led to the feeling of numbness.

At sixteen, I couldn’t understand how intense this fight would be. At the time I was naive enough to believe medication and/or therapy would simply make it disappear.

I was wrong. Mental health just doesn’t work that way.

The next few years included me changing schools, dropping out of college, and having small episodes of panic after becoming pregnant with my son. My son was 9 months old when I threw my hands up. How could I possibly be a sufficient mother to him if I couldn’t even turn off the lights without obsessing all day as to if I truly cut them off.

At that time in my life I was living the only way I knew how: With a just getting by attitude. Then one day I woke up and decided there was more to life and I wanted to live again. I was no longer going to sit back and watch life pass me by. That day changed me: March 2nd, 2018.

I joined support groups on Facebook and chose to express my feelings to others who fought my same battle. I started exposure therapy on my own and soon what consumed hours of my day only took a few moments.

I found my love for writing in those four years of darkness and set the bar for where I’ll not ever fall again.

My advice to others is seek assurance. Talk about the struggles you face and accept the diversity! This is YOUR story, you have the pen.

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10 Things All Outgoing Loners Will Understand

Outgoing loners are compelling humans because we get called ‘intense’ but never actually overwhelm anyone – in fact, we often energize the people around us. We’ve never been told to shut up for talking too much, but we can talk a lot with certain people, and often with our hands, maybe even too much.

Sometimes we’ll have those “OH MY GOD I NEED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE?? days, and sometimes, we’ll sort of isolate ourselves, definitely needing to be alone to recharge our social batteries after we come home from work.

Certain people and crowds can recharge our batteries too, but we’re definitely not as simple as either being a loner or really outgoing..we fall somewhere in between, but exactly where we fall is a conundrum…

1. It took us years to figure out that we don’t actually love to talk

We just surround ourselves with people who we connect with on a deeper level, so we can talk to them for hours, about everything. But overall we actually kinda hate talking because we feel like most conversations are pretentious and we’d prefer not to be involved.

2. It all depends on the company.

We ebb and flow between over-thinking before we speak, to saying whatever is on our mind – with zero filters or shame.

3. That goes for everything in our life, too.

One moment we’re over-thinking everything – we’ll delete texts, hesitate over writing emails and Facebook messages, delete and re-write tweets. And the next we’re living in the moment, thoughts that spark in our mind come out of our mouth and we really don’t give a damn about how we’re perceived by others.

4. It’s not that we don’t love meeting new people and hearing about their lives, we do.

It’s just that it has to feel authentic, we will never do something just to say we did it; we have to be genuinely interested. We’ll never talk just to hear the sound of our own voice. If we feel like the company is ungenuine, we will get really uncomfortable, and most likely withdraw into ourselves.

5. That’s why social situations can be tricky.

We can be loners but not because we dislike people – it’s actually the opposite. We dislike the barriers like small talk (which often comes with going out) creates between people, and try to avoid it at all costs.

6. Dating is weird.

Like extroverts – we can be extremely charming, laughing and being very talkative, genuinely having fun and connecting on a date. But then, we won’t want to answer their texts for a few days, because like, we just want to be left alone…

7. Because this facet is such a contrast to our big, bold personalities.

It’s really hard to explain to friends. But we really do have a tendency to isolate ourselves to recharge and be left alone with our thoughts.

8. It’s especially hard to keep up with old friends.

It’s not a lack of love or interest – we always have mad love for them. Sometimes we’re just not so good at replying and talking on the phone. It’s not personally – we screen our phone calls, even from our closest friends.

9. Outgoing loners sometimes hate the phone.

Because it’s all, like, intrusive and tears our minds away from whatever we’re deeply focusing on (and we are always deeply focusing on something).

10. Our mind doesn’t change direction easily.

Listening to one thing and seeing something else is a lot of sensory input piled on top of everything that’s already going on in our heads. But when we do see our friends, there is nothing in the world we’d rather be doing.

10 Simple Ways To Fall Back In Love With Yourself

“Never let anyone disturb your composure, deter your accomplishment, or destroy your happiness.” – Anonymous

1. Know when to walk away.

I truly believe that the moment we start accepting bullshit is the moment we start falling out of love with our lives. Investing our time and energy into something or someone who isn’t offering respectable returns is a recipe for falling out of love with ourselves – and then our lives.

In order to fall back in love with our lives, we have to let go of certain things that we’re wasting our precious energy on; we have to know when we’re being taken advantage of and when to walk away from people who aren’t appreciating us.

Having a very low tolerance for crap enables us to walk away when we need to and therefore use all our energy to build the new, to innovate the lives we actually want to live.

2. Stop accepting half-ass commitments.

You give too much to receive an “almost.?? You offer too much to waste your precious time with someone who gives you almost what you need – someone who is not yet ready for love, who is afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to commit fully.

Never accept that romance is dead or that people don’t fully commit anymore. It’s only dead for those who accept “almost” – who don’t know how love or commitment looks like, sounds like, feels like.

3. Don’t take bullshit excuses.

Often “almost?? relationships come with excuses. Don’t accept any bullshit – that he’s too “complicated” or “just being honest” or scared because he likes you too much. No.

Bottom line is if you don’t mean enough to someone for them to make the effort to be with you fully – they shouldn’t get any of you. #Bye.

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If You Feel Like It’s Impossible To Keep It Together, Read This

It feels like you’re struggling to keep your head above water. Like the world is crashing around you and at any moment it could swallow you whole. When you feel like you don’t belong when no one understands you and everything you say feels burdensome.

It’s the moments you don’t think you understand yourself. That instant when giving up seems easier than holding on.

You have to try and you have to keep going.

I promise you the waves you feel around you are going to subside. The water is going to calm. All you have to do is try, that’s all that can be asked of you.

Days come where you do your best and fake a smile, look enthused to be out and about with your friends. You don’t’ really want to be there, you love your friends and making sure they’re happy turns out being a priority. Instead of speaking up you silently suffer.

You feel like it’s better to be quiet than be honest and tell someone that you’re really not okay.

Admitting out loud that something is wrong makes you feel weak, vulnerable and small. That is far from the truth.

Admitting that you’re not okay makes you strong. You have to realize you are not alone. It’s better to let it out then let all the pain and emotions build up inside you. The tears that streak your pillows at night have got to dry up eventually.

Remember you’re not alone. I have moments of weakness, moments of struggle and thoughts of not understanding why. There are days when you wake up and you just don’t feel that great, you can’t explain why you feel the way you do but you don’t feel right. There are times where you’re pessimistic, overrun with your own thoughts and unable to look at the bright optimistic side of life.

You have to stop beating yourself up. You have to stop comparing yourself to others and thinking of all the ways things should be versus how they are now.

You have to forgive yourself.

Apologize to yourself, let go of the things you can’t control, find peace with the past and make room for the future. Things are not always going to go how you had thought they would have; life doesn’t always go as planned.

In fact, it rarely does.

It’s okay to let it go.

There’s a phrase that I want you to remember, after a storm, there is always a rainbow. Eventually, everything has to calm eventually.

You are strong enough to get through whatever is troubling you. You have people you can turn to even when you don’t think you do. Hold tight to the friends that will listen whenever you need them no matter what.

Count to ten and take a deep breath.

Nothing is impossible.

You can and will make it through whatever is troubling you.

Each time you don’t give up you’re already winning.

So go ahead and keep trying, because eventually it will all make sense and you’ll put yourself back together.

To see more of Audi’s work check out her facebook page.

To The Girl Who Always Puts Her Needs On The Back Burner, It’s Okay To Be Selfish

I know who you are, you’re the girl that can count on one hand how many times you have put yourself before anyone else.

You’re the girl that even in the toughest situations still finds a reason to put yourself on the back burner.

You’re the girl who always has a smile on her face and when someone asks if anything is wrong your first response is always “nothing.”

Even though that always isn’t necessarily true is it? You could be struggling and having the worst day ever and you’ll completely file it away to help someone else.

Everyone comes to you when they need advice because you’re always willing to listen and never quick to judge.

You are the shoulder to cry on, the one who appears with ice cream when your friend’s hearts are breaking, you bring flowers when they’re having a bad day and you drop whatever you’re doing if they tell you they need you.

You’d do anything for the people that mean the most to you and I think that is admirable and selfless.

There aren’t a lot of you left in this world; it seems most folks are too preoccupied on what is going to be best for themselves to think about others, but not you.

You’re the first to offer help whenever it’s needed, whether money, advice, a shoulder, a place to stay or anything else that comes your way but you wouldn’t dream of telling anyone you needed help.

It’s stressful even if you won’t admit it. I know you struggle with figuring out what you’re going to do with your own life and the path you’re supposed to take.

You may wonder how I know all of this and it’s because I’m exactly like you.

I would never dream of putting myself before the people that matter the most to me, in fact, I never do. I always think about long-term and who else will be affected by my actions or decisions.

I could have made my life so much easier in situations if I just would have thought of myself but you already know that didn’t happen, because as much as we tell ourselves that we can’t keep doing this, we do it anyways.

From one back burner to the other I’m going to let you in on one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to wrestle with.

It’s okay to put yourself first.

Yeah, you read that right; it is absolutely 100% alright to allow yourself the opportunity to be first. That doesn’t make you selfish and any less of a wonderful person. How can you continuously be there for others if you don’t take care of yourself? You will wear yourself out if you continue on like this.

Not just your physical but your mental and emotional health are so important and they deserve as much focus as anything else. It’s okay to make time for yourself, to make decisions that are best for you. I promise it’s not as terrible as it seems and you are still the same person as you were before.

Everyone at some point needs to put themselves first. Everyone does it. I repeat, everyone is allowed to put themselves first time to time and that includes you.

You wouldn’t be bothering or upsetting those close to you if there comes a moment that you tell them that you’re not okay and that you need a shoulder as well. I promise they will be there by your side judgment-free, willing to return all the favors you have given them.

You have to find a balance, a comfortable middle that allows you to be the kind, caring, outgoing and generous person you are without forgetting to take care of yourself as well.

Don’t stop taking other’s feelings in mind and helping them when you can because I know you can’t do that.

I know this won’t happen overnight, you can tell yourself you’re going to start doing this till you’re blue in the face, trust me I know. You can shake your head and agree with me but until you actually do it you just may run yourself ragged.

So no, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself from time to time. You deserve it because only you know what you can handle and what you can’t. You’re the girl that is relied on by so many people, which is great but please don’t forget that in order to be there for those people you have to be there for yourself as well.

To see more of Audi’s work check out her facebook page

15 Truths Of The Girl Who’s Hit Rock Bottom

Life sucks more often than it doesn’t these days. You feel like you’re stuck in a deep hole that you can’t get out of, and no one can help you.

The sky is raining cat piss and you can’t afford an umbrella because it’s either that or no pizza, but you’re learning about yourself—and life, more now than ever before, so you’re not letting it get to you.

In a way, you’re proud of your home you’ve built in rock bottom.

In an attempt to shop for groceries like an adult, you end up getting a frozen pizza.
You grew impatient waiting so you took it out early, and ate it alone in your bed in one sitting, even though it was partly still cold.
Your card gets declined at least once a week. And usually when you’re about to purchase something essential, like tampons or coffee.
For every day you have more than one meal a day, you have to skip one in the coming days.
You leave the house without a bra more often than you leave the house wearing a bra.
It rains every time you go outside without an umbrella, even if rain wasn’t in the forecast. And when it rains, it pours.
You bought shoes knowing that it would overdraft your account.
After reading all of the drunk texts you sent your ex, you smile to yourself because you’re actually pretty proud of the insults that drunk-you came up with.
You don’t ask anyone for advice anymore. Not your mom, not your best friend, no one. You rely on yourself to get through this because you don’t get disappointed in yourself for not taking the advice you prescribe.
You identify with Kristin Wiig’s character in Bridesmaids.
At this point, your wardrobe is pretty much exclusively sweatpants, all of which have holes in the butt and/or crotch.
It takes you three to five hours to get out of bed every day. Because your best friend’s dad’s Netflix account is always there for you.
You ate an entire plate of nachos on your last date, and he admitted he kind of thought you were going to share it.
Since you’re always too tired to do laundry, you’re wearing your underwear inside out. And will until all of those are dirty—on both sides.
When that happens, you’ll probably just buy new underwear, which will probably overdraft your account. Whatever, everything is gonna be ok. Not today. Probably not tomorrow. Maybe not any day soon. But someday.

And once you kick rock bottom’s ass, you’ll be on top of the world. One day, you’ll laugh about your dark days in a walk-in closet filled with shoes and all of the puppies.

You Are A Phoenix And You Will Rise From These Ashes

“Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.”

You are strong and brave and resilient. Whatever life is handing you right now, you will get through it – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Anyone. This world is constantly going to test you, push you to your limits and place you on the verge of breaking down. I can almost guarantee that. But you have got to keep your head high even when you are shattering piece by piece on the inside.

I know you have wanted to just let go and let the world win. You’ve hurt in ways you never thought you could hurt before. You’ve felt broken beyond repair and imprisoned in your own mind.

Your heart has been broken and you’ve cried enough tears to fill the oceans five times over. The pain you’ve felt is nauseating.

“But once all the tears dried and the pain washed away and the laughter started again, that’s when you were reborn” – stronger and wiser.

That’s when you can take a deep breath as your soul quietly prepares you for the next battle.

Because you are going to absolutely fall apart in this world again. Maybe even more than once.

Your heart is going to be broken many times by lovers who carelessly handle your heart. Your friends are going to let you down and betray you even when they swore they wouldn’t. And people are going to talk shit behind your back.

You are going to lose people through death and through circumstance. You are going to carry weights too heavy for your soul to bear. You are going to watch dreams fade away while you try to chase after them.

You will be scared and traumatized and broken.

You are going to scream “why” more times than you will be able to count while sobbing on your bathroom floor.

But in the end, how beautiful will it be to stand up proud and say, “I survived.”

I let them betray me, burn me, defeat me, insult me, injure me and abandon me. I let them tear me limb from limb, flesh from bone until I wasn’t recognizable even to myself. But I am here now. I overcame.

I let the world drag me through its chamber of excruciating sadness, but I woke up alive and burning bright.

That’s when you will become a brilliant Phoenix and the world will see your light.

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63 Quotes For When You’re Beyond Over People’s Bullshit

We’ve all dealt with it. Finding yourself sucked into the most pointless of all pointless drama and you’re finally fed up. You can’t just sit there any longer listening to them bitch and complain and gossip – instead of being the bigger people and resolving it or moving on.

You’re tired of the negativity and being associated with it all.

1. “Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.”

2. “I’m not distant. I’m just consistent at minding my own business.”

3. “I refuse to entertain negativity. Life is too big and time is too short to get caught up in empty drama.”

4. “I’ll have a big slice of life, but hold the drama please.”

5. “People who have no life always start drama in yours.”

6. “If you bring nothing but drama to the table, don’t be surprised if everyone gets up and leaves.”

7. “Life becomes so much better when you decide not to care. Just live for the moment,” keep a journal and use essay writing sites like buyessayclub to help express yourself.

8. “Drama does not just walk into your life. Either you create if, invite it or associate with it.”

9. “Don’t let anyone drain you of your happiness today. Be drama free. Rise above the petty stuff.”

10. “Sometimes ‘I’m single’ means ‘I’m drama free, less stressed and I refuse to settle for less.’”

11. “Sometimes you have to unfollow people in real life.”

12. “Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive – it will literally take their breath away.”

13. “You can’t keep a clean reputation hanging out with messy people.”

14. “I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing. And I thank the ones who left my life and made it even more fantastic.”

15. “There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.”

16. “Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn’t mean you have to attend the performance.”

17. “A private life is a happy life.”

18. “I distance myself from bullshit.”

19. “Be wise enough to walk away from all the nonsense around you.”

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Before You Fall For The Girl Who’s Been Through A Lot, Know This

She’ll break down your ego, call out your bullshit and expose every part of your soul. She won’t be like anyone you’ve ever met. You’re going to be forever changed in the most meaningful of ways.

She’s not going to hold back for the sake of slow playing this. When she wants to make herself and her opinions known, she will. And when she needs time to recharge, she won’t think twice about giving herself some alone time.

There is no filter with her- she’ll show you every bit of her.

You see, she’s never needed anyone to tell her who she has to be or who she should be, and she’s not going to start now. When no one else wanted to, she took the time to learn who she really is, and now she embraces every single part of it. It may seem like a challenge trying to figure her out, but she’ll love you deeper than someone who’s just one-sided.

And for her, the challenge will be letting you love her.

It’s not easy for someone who is so used to being her own person to just give that role to you. She’s going to question it, doubt it and maybe even fight it – but that’s just her slowly trusting you.

She’s built an outer shell that’s made her an independent, inscrutable, take no shit kind of girl.

But at the core of her is just a big-hearted girl capable of an extraordinary love but afraid of giving a piece of her heart to someone who will leave with it. It’s happened before so rather than be afraid of love, she’s learned to love herself.

Every time you think you’ve figured her out, you’ll hit another one of the walls guarding her heart.

It will be the most defeating feeling, but try to remember she’s trying just as hard as you are. She wasn’t always this way, but when you’re used to being let down, you’re forced to put a shield up.

Logically she’ll get that her past, her pain, and her broken heart have made her the girl you love today but emotionally she’ll resist letting herself be that vulnerable. It’s just too overwhelming for her to share that with you because she’s already been broken once before.

There’s only a certain number of times someone can break before there’s nothing left.

She’ll be broken and guarded, but she’ll be the most important person you’ll ever fall in love with. Because it will take work and effort but the moment she gives you her heart – it will be worth everything. She’ll be used to only living for her, the way she wants to but she wants to build a life with someone else where she can share life’s burdens and joys. So when she feels like she’s met the person for her- she’ll want them to choose her.

So when you really get to know her- each and every layer- you’ll feel like you’re meant to choose her. Don’t ever forget that feeling, because it won’t always be easy but she’ll make up for it with her love for you.