Married Women Share The One Thing They Wish They Could Tell Their Single Friends

Getting married is a very special moment for anyone involved, but especially special for the bride. Many women dream of their wedding day and starting a family with their soulmate. However, once they get married, their lives change. For women who get married and still have a bunch of friends who are single, it can be hard for them to understand the complexities of marriage and starting a family. For those who are married, you know how it can be—your single friends want to go out, go on vacations, and constantly do things spontaneously, not realizing that a marriage is between two people who make decisions together. Therefore, it’s difficult for some married women to have their single friends understand all of their “new life” changes.

Recently, BuzzFeed asked their female users who are married to share the one thing they wish they could tell their single friends about marriage and daily life. While some women focus on the changes you undergo when getting married, others had some brilliant life-long advice for new marriedwomen to follow.

1.

Please understand if we’re busy and on our time off we want to hang out with our spouse. I’ve went to considerably less girls nights since I’ve been married, not because I don’t enjoy hanging out with them, but because I want to spend time with my husband when I can.

amberyr

2.

Getting married and having a family is wonderful. However, I had to move when I got married. This created an emotional (and quite literal) distance between my single friends and me. The reality is: You gain a lot when you get married, but you also lose some things too. It can become a brand new environment. But still, my single friends need to know that I haven’t forgotten them.

kellyt4f2d08291

3.

When I say I need to check with my partner, it’s not because I need “permission”. We do things as a team, it’s important for us to run plans past each other to keep our family running smoothly and to show we respect each other.

jessicar4e9f53a2d

4.

Marriage is not romance and roses everyday. Marriage is choosing someone and making the effort to be the pest person possible for them especially when it’s really hard.

l4fef36788

5.

That marriage doesn’t magically change your relationship. People always ask how’s married life and honestly it’s the same just with differenttitles and as with all relationships, it’s work.

lindseyn12

6.

We may vent about our spouses but that doesn’t mean we have a bad marriage. It just means we need to vent, or talk through a problem with someone so we can find a solution or figure out how we feel about it. Don’t make assumptions about my marriage because I need to talk or vent about one of my husband’s annoying habits.

amyrousep

7.

Try not to judge your friends when they already have plans with their spouse and can’t hang out with you. Just because we live together doesn’t mean we always spend fun, quality time together. Many people marry their best friends, and we want to hang out with them, too!

kelseyc4761a3328

8.

My marriage isn’t perfect because I talk about all the great things. It’s also not terrible when I talk about all the bad things. People tend to talk about the extreme highs and the extreme lows. You need somewhere to vent when bad things happen and someone to be happy with you when the good things happen.

homebody13

9.

Just because I’m married does not mean I need to be with my husband 24/7. Please still invite me to girls night out and brunch. I don’t want my husband to be my only friend.

tuamater13

10.

To single friends who want to stay single: do you! I want to hear about your exploits and gossip with you and go to bars and hang out with you just like before.

To single friends looking for “the one”: ignore all the cutesy quotes and people telling you what marriage and love are “absolutely” like. Every person is different and every relationship is different. The only way to go wrong is if there is abuse or neglect. Marry the person you can’t imagine your life without. Or at least, the one you don’t WANT to imagine life without.

d4ea205bf0

11.

Don’t just marry someone because things are always great with them 100% of the time and they make you the happiest you’ve ever been. Marry someone that you’ve gone through hell AND BACK with because chances are you’ll hit tough timesagain and you’ll know they’ll still be there when it’s over.

melissaw23

12.

Just because I’m married, doesn’t mean that I am going to have kids! And it’s rude to ask!

a485ce6abc

13.

Marriage is an ever changing beast. As you grow your desires and dreams for your life may change. Your partner is learning how to grow with you and that process looks different for everyone. No person comes with instructions. Our emotions change and so do our looks/bodies. It’s all a part of life that can’t be ignored by your partner. Their response to life’s situations will be different than yours and figuring out life’s complexities are hard. Marriage that lasts a long timeare about two people who commit to working alongside the crazy ride of life.

jonellemitchellc

14.

Stop saying that we are your relationship goals. That puts undue pressure on us and makes it seem as though marriage is easy. It is not. It is work.

Booknerd13

15.

I want you to tell me if I’m not there enough. My marriage is obviously extremely important to me…. but without friends you have NOTHING. If you need me, please ask me. I value being a good friend just as much if not more than being a good wife. No I don’t want to go bar hopping on a Saturday night, but I WILL if you need me too,m and probably love every minute of it.

ginger01

16.

You don’t feel like a third wheel to us when you hang out with me and my husband. Or with us and other couples. We still want you around. Also, my husband is my best friend and while I still want to hang out with you one and one, I really want my friends to also be friends with my spouse. So sometimes we’re a joint package.

daisyliz

17.

Love isn’t this high you ride your whole life with your spouse. It gets hard and the best way to combat divorce is knowing that going it. Marriage is choosing to commit to that person because you love them in a different way even when butterflies come and go. Even when the feelings are gone the best thing I’ve found is to start treating one another like you’re still dating- if you used to bring them ice cream randomly, or light the room with candles… the hard part is doing it when you truly don’t want to.

ekc27

18.

Marriage is not an end goal. Being married doesn’t solve all your problems. Stop fantasizing that if you were only married, life would be better. Yes, sometimes it’s nice to have my husband to come home to.

catherinecombs

19.

Marriage is work especially when both people are dealing with mental health illnesses. I know work sounds like a bad thing but it’s not. It’s working on ourselves and relationship that will enrich us and help us continue to grow as individuals as well as in our relationship. Being vulnerable has helped us come a long way. Understanding their mental health is important too and makes them feel validated. At the end of the day my spouse is my best friend.

Straberriepinapple

20.

A wedding rarely solves any problems. If you and your partner have an issue while dating, it will most likely be there after the wedding day. You should talk about everything before you get married so that there are no surprises later. Do you want kids and how many? What do you consider to be cheating? ? How do they want to be buried? Who gets the dog if you break up? What happens if one of you ends up on life support? Will you tell your children santa is real or fake? Just everything you can think of should have been decided before you say I do.

CandyKitten

My Boyfriend Is My Best Friend And I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It

I always struggled through life maintaining close friendships. For whatever reason, I was always the “back up friend.” I had a lot of friends who I considered to be sisters—my very best friends in the world. I confided in them, I trusted them, I always thought of them as my confidants. But, whatever the reason may be, I was always 4th, 5th, 6th on their list of friends. I was never anyone’s “best friend.” I was never the girl that someone would call and text first, the one who became someone’s family. I was always kind of on my own, doing my own thing, looking for a “girl gang” to call my own.

 

But, that all changed when I met my boyfriend.

We met randomly; at a bar when I least expected it. I was out with some co-workers and he was out with his friends and our eyes locked on opposite sides of the bar as if we were looking for each other the entire time. It sounded cliché—like a scene out of a movie. But, when we talked, it was if we had known each other all our lives. I always think, maybe we met in a past life. Maybe we were friends in another galaxy. Whatever the reason was—we clicked.

 

If I Choose To Cheat On My Partner, It’s None Of Your Damn Business

There was a time in my life when I was in a relationship and I was extremely unhappy. I had been with my boyfriend for an extremely long amount of time and due to the fact that I was young, I was too naive and immature to realize that being unhappy is a perfect reason to leave. But, being so young, I thought that leaving was “not the answer.” Instead, I looked for what I felt was missing in my relationship with other people and in places.

My boyfriend and I were together for six years—throughout high school and then for part of our college careers. We were each other’s best friends; we did everything together. If we weren’t at school or at work, we were together. We stayed over each other’s houses virtually every night, we texted all day long, we couldn’t make big decisions without consulting each other first. We were each other’s “everything.” But, eventually, we stopped holding hands, we stopped kissing, we stopped being intimate with each other altogether.

Before I knew it, my six-year relationship had become a close friendship that I did not know how to live without. My boyfriend had become my best friend, but, so much so that it had come platonic—we were no longer involved in a fiery romance, but instead, basic friends who wanted to be close to each other. We still laughed the same, we still had the same fun—but I stopped and realized, I couldn’t remember the last time we had even made out with each other. We were young—young—in college, in our 20s. There was no reason we couldn’t be all over each other—having wild, youthful, intimate fun.

I ended up looking elsewhere to fulfill my desires. What started out as a casual fling, turned into a regular booty call and I became infatuated with the idea that I was living a double life.

Looking back, I regret all that had transpired. I hurt not only myself but, also, everyone around me. I had to look my best friend in the eye and let him know that I had completely tarnished his trust. I had to look my parents in the mirror and let them know that all of their life lessons had fallen on deaf ears. I had to live with the fact that I was, in fact, a cheater. Throughout my life, I had always talked poorly about women who weren’t strong enough to leave before they had decided to cheat. I had watched TV shows, screaming at the protagonist who had done the dirty deed. I had always thought of myself to be better than this.

When things got out, I lost a lot of friends. Some of my best friends—the ones who were supposed to be my “ride or dies,” they decided that being friends with someone who cheats is not a good look. They decided that they couldn’t trust me around their boyfriends. Some of them said that I was disgusting, others called me a whore.

Truth be told—I have regrets. I have tons of regrets. I wish I had broken things off with my boyfriend sooner. I wish I hadn’t gone out and started an affair behind his back. I wish I kept my affair to myself and not told people I thought I could trust.

But, at the end of the day—my mistakes were my mistakes. They weren’t my friend’s mistakes, and it wasn’t their place to judge me. My affair, my cheating, and my mistakes had to do with me, my boyfriend, and the person I cheated with. They had nothing to do with the dozens of people who decided to spread my business around. It had nothing to do with the friends who dumped me like a bad habit, after 15 years of friendship. It had nothing to do with anyone else but me.

I made the mistake. I did the deed. It was my place to deal with it. It was my mess to clean.

The fact that people in my life, those who were closest to me, chose to leave me high and dry showed me a valuable life lesson. Although I was someone who made a mistake, the mistake opened my eyes to people’s true colors. Something that was my burden to bear became a silver lining to see who was really there for the long haul and who was there for a temporary season.

If I decided to cheat on my boyfriend—that was my choice. It was my decision. It was my problem.

Not everyone else’s.

20 Things You Only Understand If You Love Spending Time Alone

There are two kinds of people in this world—those who love to be surrounded by people all of the time, whether they are out, home, or on the go, and those who love being alone in their silence, solitude, and bed. Not to say that one person is better than the other, but they are total polar opposites. Some people love human contact, others despise it. And, there are just somethings you totally understand if you’re a “me, myself, and I” person.

1. Being alone means there is absolutely zero judgment at all. Zero. None. Negative none.

2. You can walk around without pants on and not have to worry about a damn thing.

3. You can eat whatever you want, at any time of day, and have no one to tell you otherwise. Ice cream for breakfast? Bring on the damn sprinkles.

4. You have a list of excuses that you run through on a regular basis to get out of plans with people you really don’t want to do—like, your mom needs help moving, your sister needs you to babysit the kids, your super is coming to fix the kitchen sink.

5. Ordering food for one is way cheaper than ordering for two-three and having to figure out how to split the Seamless/Postmates bill.

6. You know vegging out on the couch with your show to binge watch with some wine is way better than having to go to a club and rub up against sweaty and annoying strangers who keep touching you without your permission.

7. There is no pleasure quite like lighting a candle in your bedroom and snuggling under the covers with a good book.

8. Relationships are hard to get into because your personal time is more precious than anything else you can imagine.

9. And, the worst thing you can deal with is dating someone who wants to be with you or see you on an everyday basis. No thank you.

10. You don’t understand why people feel the need to text all day, every day. Having time away from the rest of the world is special.

11. People think that you’re a weirdo or a loner because you’re not always out doing something with other people.

12. But, in reality, you are constantly doing something—just solo.

13. Traveling alone is one of your all-time dreams. And, you have no problem going to a new country all by yourself.

14. You think that people who need to go with someone everywhere (including running errands, or going to the hair salon, or even traveling) are crazy and dependent.

15. People always say you’re the most independent person they’ve ever met.

16. You always people-watch and study body language when you’re out, thinking about their stories and where they come from.

17. You don’t understand why people hate eating by themselves.

18. People never worry about you if they haven’t heard from you in a while because they know you’re always around, just under the radar.

19. The only person you’d ever consider spending your life with is someone who is just as independent as you are because you cannot imagine having to do everything with someone else tied to your side all of the time.

20. You wouldn’t trade your alone time in for anything in the world—except, maybe, a million dollars.

Wearing Your Boyfriend’s Clothes Is Officially Good For Your Mental Health

Every girl knows that one of the biggest perks of having a boyfriend is the ability to steal their big, comfortable clothing. From hoodies to sweatpants and all the in-between, wearing something that belongs to “our man” makes us feel almost as though we’re closer to them—especially when they’re not around. Turns out, stealing our boyfriend’s clothes is better than we thought. In fact, it’s actually good for your mental health.

According to a study released by the University of British Colombia, it’s proven that wearing your boyfriend’s clothing can actually boost your mood and attitude overall. The study was conducted with 96 heterosexual couples who were asked to participate. As the control element, men were asked to wear a new t-shirt for 24 hours without using any deodorant, cologne, or any other scent additives. After the shirts gained a certain person’s scent, they were frozen to keep that scent locked in for a longer period of time.

After they were frozen, women were asked to wear a shirt. Some women happened to be matched with shirts that were not their partner’s—so, a total stranger. As it turns out, everything has to do with scent. The women who wore their partner’s shirt with his scent experienced lower levels of cortisol in their brain—the hormone that contributes to stress. Therefore, the women who wore their boyfriend’s clothing were much more zen and relaxed.

However, women who were wearing a complete stranger’s shirt happened to experience a change in their cortisol levels, too—they peaked. So, basically, wearing a stranger’s clothing made them much more stressed than before. Strange, yet, interesting.

The study’s lead author, Marlise Hofer, said in a statement:

“Many people wear their partner’s shirt or sleep on their partner’s side of the bed when their partner is away, but may not realize why they engage in these behaviors. Our findings suggest that a partner’s scent alone, even without their physical presence, can be a powerful tool to help reduce stress.”

So, if you happen to be someone who enjoys wearing your partner’s clothing, and they tell you to stop—just tell them that you’re doing it to make you a more enjoyable girlfriend. The less stressed you are, the more you are able to enjoy life and, overall, be in a way better mood. Therefore, keep the hoodie (or the shirt, socks, pants, etc). It’s good for you! 

 

Employees Reveal The Dirtiest Secrets About Their Industry And It’ll Leave You Shook

Working for a big corporation or organization can be a great gig, but it can open your eyes to a lot of atrocities that go down behind closed doors. Most companies like to present a clean, eco-friendly, pristine image to the world and its customers but, in reality, they couldn’t give two sh*ts about what actually happens. And, if you knew the truth, it would probably change the way you feel about a lot of industry big shots. Recently, users on Reddit who work for big industry names have been sharing the dirty secrets no one wants you to know—so prepare to be shook.

1.

Starbucks corporate makes us have those recycling bins in the lobby to present this green image, but most of the time all of the garbage ends up going to the dump anyway because the facility doesn’t have recycling.

princesscupcakes69

2.

Businesses offer rebates rather than cash discounts because they know the odds of you going to the trouble of mailing in a rebate coupon are minimal. Then they don’t pay the first time, because they know the odds of you complaining about it are infinitesimal. But they usually will pay off if you complain.

RonSwansonsOldMan

3.

I work with kids at a daycare and we see babies take their first steps sometimes but we never tell the parents because we don’t want them to feel bad about missing it.

theraccoonrobot

4.

Never use glasses provided in hotel rooms, especially the bathrooms. I’ve seen those get ‘cleaned’ with the same rag that cleans the toilet and sink.

m7anders

5.

When renting a storage unit you do not need to get the insurance they offer. Even if they say it’s “mandatory”, it’s illegal to force you to get insurance. Also the rent will increase yearly, forever.

LoweredBap

6.

I used to work at a large national chain of bridal stores and the wedding dresses you’re trying on are never washed. We would try to spot clean if a bride got makeup or a build-up of deodorant inside, but they smelled like BO and dirt.

kelliee408395f38

7.

I worked for a very large lingerie company. When we would get returned underwear, you’d think they’d just get damaged out because nobody knows if they were really worn, but they don’t. We put them right back out on the floor.

nataliea412d34a21

8.

Funeral homes are businesses, and funeral directors will absolutely take advantage of grieving people.

The most offensive to me are the cremation boxes. They’re literally just big cardboard boxes, and should cost less than a hundred dollars. But they also make really expensive boxes, and directors will say things like “grandma would be more comfortable in this”. No, she won’t, because she’s dead. Some of these boxes reach 1000 dollars, and of course are all just burned.

Loktharion

9.

I don’t know that this is a secret but flight attendants and pilots don’t get paid while boarding, deplaning, and delays. So when you’re delayed and angry, so are we. We’re not making money and still have to be there.

boozeandarrows

10.

The food on a supermarket deli counter is often stuff that’s gone or about to go past its best before date.

chrysowen84

11.

Professional hair color at a salon costs the salon around $6 a tube. That $40 product actually costs $10 to anyone who had a license. Salons are huge cash cows because the products are actually so cheap.

breelightyear

12.

At a hospital the straight cash price discount for many outpatient tests (MRI, CT, X-Ray, Ultrasound, Labs, etc.) can often be cheaper than using insurance and dealing with deductibles, co-pays, co-insurance, and on and on.

I’ve seen test billed for thousands of dollars to insurance cost a cash paying patient less than $400.

It’s insane.

UniqueUsername1138

13.

Credit companies will raise your interest rate for no reason and wait for you to call and complain to get it lowered. Check your statements and review ALL notices that come with your bill.

fishead62

14.

Almost every register nurse has what is called a blacklist of doctors she or he would not want even remotely near them should they need emergency services.

People need to take better care and precaution of who they choose to accept as their doctor.

heftyhotsauce

15.

The comforters in hotel rooms almost never get washed. They are nasty.

Ice_Burn

16.

I worked at a sports bar and we would regularly find chicken heads or other weird parts of the chicken with the wings. Chicken wings are forever ruined for me because of the things I’ve found while working there.

cecekalagis

17.

In an auto shop, what your mechanic tells you may not be in your best interest, but instead what is most convenient, and what is the least amount of work to do.

TheAbominableBanana

18.

Hospitals are not clean

The only really clean place in a hospital is the operating room, other than that the place is crawling with germs and whatever else has mutated on the floors and walls.

NinjaMcAwes0me

19.

The clothes you find at an outlet (more often than not) are not “cast-offs” or overages from the regular store. There’s a whole separate entity that designs and produces clothes at a lesser quality for outlet prices.

CheeseWarden

20.

Terrible and illegal things go on in every strip club. Owners only hire people for upper management who they have trusted for years because they all know this.

ImportantArtist69

21.

Most ‘subscription services’ will raise their prices over time because they expect you to just suck it up. Call up and politely complain about the price. Either you are speaking to someone who can reduce the price or they can put you through to a person authorized to reduce the price.

Ralcolm_Meynolds

22.

Your mortgage has been transferred so many times that the odds are that your payment records are incomplete.

aworldwithoutshrimp

h/t: Reddit, BuzzFeed.

Study Claims That Spending Time With Your Mother Can Make Her Live Longer

It’s no secret that the relationship we have with our mother is special and unique. Whether we like it or not, she is the woman who brought us into this world. For me, personally, my mom is my very best friend. She’s my anchor, my safety net, and my soundboard whenever life gets hard. No matter what, she will always be there for me.

But, as I’ve gotten older and moved out, I’ve somehow spent less and less time with my mom. It’s hard to always find the time to see each other and hang out when we both work full-time and live in two different neighborhoods. While we speak on the phone every day, there’s nothing that’s quite like spending some quality time together. And, according to a scientific study, spending more time with your mother can help her live longer. 

In 2012, the study was published in the JAMA Internal Medicine and indicated that spending more time with your mother increases her lifespan slightly. The study said that loneliness is a significant factor in why older people die earlier. Loneliness in adults leads to increased depression and other health problems.

How did they discover this? Well, the study looked at 1,600 adults—with the average age of 71-years-old. They found that 23% of people who participated in the study who were lonely ended up dying within 6 years of being apart of the study. Only 14% of those who said they were not lonely died during the same 6 year period.

Basically, keeping your mom’s social life active, positive, and booming can allow her to escape the death grip of loneliness. And, if you can’t see her all of the time, at least try to call her once or twice a day and, possibly, see her once a week. You never know how much you can impact her life!

 

There’s A Company Giving Away Free Vibrators To Anyone Who’s Lonely And Single This Valentine’s Day

For those who are single, there are few things to look forward to in the month of February. In all honesty, there’s not much going on—with the exception of Valentine’s Day and President’s Week. Unless you’re a huge U.S. history buff, I doubt you’re looking forward to partying down for Abe Lincoln’s birthday. Instead, we’re blinded by nothing but red hearts, pink candies, and tons of lovey-dovey Valentine’s Day love. For single people — it’s a real nightmare.

But, if you’re a lady who’s standing solo dolo this V-Day, you can spice up your evening and your V-J (see what I did there) thanks to one toy company that’s looking to make single ladies extra happy this year. PlusOne, a company that specializes in sex toys, is giving away free bullet vibrators to 250 people who have just gotten dumped right before Valentine’s Day. So, if your heart is aching and you know that you’re going to be alone — why not be alone with a smile on your face, right?

All you need to do is fill out this form explaining how you recently came into the single life — I’m sure that the sappier you are, the better chance you have of being selected to win. As long as you submit your story before February 13th, you will qualify for your own, personal, free, bullet vibrator.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

Women Reveal How They Were First Diagnosed With Endometriosis

Endometriosis is a condition that affects 1 in 10 women during their reproductive years. While its a condition that is not always spoken about, those who do suffer from it live through painful life experiences. The symptoms of endometriosis include painful periods, painful ovulation, pain during or after sexual intercourse, heavy bleeding, chronic pelvic pain, fatigue, and even infertility. While it may be hard to talk about and/or discuss, some brave women online have been kind enough to open up about how they were first diagnosed with endometriosis.

1.

I never got the typical symptoms they tell you to watch out for (insane bleeding, unable to move because of the pain etc.) so I never thought much of it, I just kept going back to the doctor’s for the individual symptoms I was experiencing. I would be going about my day and suddenly crippled by a sharp pain in my abdomen, or have a long sustained cramp all day because of the tight jeans I would be wearing which were fine the day before and sex was almost impossible without getting some weird symptom like bleeding or pain. The timing never really matched up with my period so it never crossed my mind as a possibility until I started getting bad (and I mean bad) bowel movements throughout my period.

I had been bouncing back and forth between doctors for endless possible diagnosis (potential STD’s or a food intolerance were common) until a doctor booked me in for a surgery to confirm whether it could be endo.

There ended up being tissue on both ovaries and my bowels which explained my symptoms. After that I was told not to eat gluten, dairy, sugar or caffeine and I was told my chances of having kids past the age of 27 was low. I am frequently turned down Gynecology appointments at my local hospital due to short staffing and my case not being an emergency. I still have so many questions.

a4cb99366b

2.

I’ve always suffered with horrendous periods and ovarian cysts since I was 13. Finally at age 21 I found a gyno who agreed to do a laparoscopic surgery to figure out what was wrong with me. I was told after that I had stage 3 endometriosis. Sadly the surgery did not provide any relief and I’ve since been directed to a chronic pelvic pain clinic. The only thing that has helped with my pain is CBD oil. I’m so grateful to have a husband who is compassionate towards this disease.

danas4c2dd9ce3

3.

I was initially diagnosed by abdominal ultrasound when I was 21 years old (one month shy of turning 22 years old). The ten years before that, I thought it was so normal to have heavy periods requiring two maxi pads and awful cramps that I forced myself to go to school. After that ultrasound, I realized that my periods exhibited textbook symptoms, so I fought tooth and nail to get the diagnostic laparoscopy to confirm the diagnosis. It was an uphill battle for nearly two years. Due to not having the laparoscopic diagnosis, I often doubted that I had endometriosis because I did some crazy things while on my period like swimming in a hail storm in January when I was 15 years old. The Schrödinger’s Cat situation drove me mad and caused me to believe that I had a parasitic twin. Nearly two years after the first ultrasound and seven appointments later, I finally got the green light for the diagnostic laparoscopy in July 2018. I waited five months for the surgery so it wouldn’t interfere with the semester. On December 18th, I was formally diagnosed with endometriosis that had spread to my bladder and bowels. There was no parasitic twin. I am relieved to know that my pain was really caused by endometriosis and the two years before weren’t a lie.

sandrab4fbdf3282

4.

I first knew something was up when my low back hurt so bad I couldn’t handle sitting in my chair at work. I was in my early 20’s. I was lucky enough to have a doctor who listened to me and wanted to do a laperscopic procedure to “take a look inside.” That’s how I officially found out I had endometriosis. The “clean up” surgery worked for a few years but the pain came back. I changed birth control so many times to help to no avail. So I had a second surgery 3 years later. That lasted about a year before my symptoms came back, and now they were worse. By this time I’m 34 and married. After a year of careful thought and soul searching I made the decision to have a partial hysterectomy. My husband was so supportive, this was not an easy decision. But as my husband said “I only care about you feeling better” Best husband ever. So at 35 I had a partial hysterectomy. I am now 3 months out from surgery and it was the best decision I made. I didn’t realize how much constant pain I was in until it was all gone.

cortneyw4ca2f8328

5.

It took 3 emergency room visits and several doctors before anyone took my pain seriously. I had hemorrhage-like periods for years and was put on hormonal birth control for it. I ended up hospitalized due to the pain and was told “the source is unclear” by a male physician. Finally, a wonderful female physician diagnosed me at 24 and I’ve been in pain management since. It’s something I wear proudly.

cdorourke4

6.

My diagnosis was quick once I actually trusted my gut and went to see a specialist who came highly recommended. I assumed my struggles of heavy, prolonged flow and intense pain was normal and I lived off a box of OTC pain killers every month just to make it through the days on which I had my period, but in hindsight, I can admit that I thought it would look like I was making excuses or being a hypochondriac about my period, and avoided actually bringing it up with my doctor. When I was being woken at night from intense back and stomach pain, I had to accept that my symptoms were definitely not normal. I was quickly booked for surgery after seeing a specialist and after laparoscopic excision, the specialist confirmed that there was a golf ball-size growth removed during the surgery which had been the cause of relentless pain, prolonged, heavy periods and a host of many other symptoms which I hadn’t even realized were being affected by my endometriosis. Since then, though my condition can’t be cured through surgery, it has prevented further complications while also improving the flow and length of my period. And now, I am aware that there are many ways endometriosis can affect my life on a daily basis, but at least I am able to handle these side effects and not assume I am being a hypochondriac because now I know the cause.

TRINA77

7.

When I first began having periods in 5th grade, they would last for 3-4 weeks at a time, and I experienced debilitating pain. My mom didn’t know anything was abnormal about it since she and some of her relatives also experienced the same thing until they all got hysterectomies. It was my aunt who finally told her we should see a doctor. My doctor put me on birth control to suppress the issue at age 14. When I got to college, I started feeling more pain between periods despite the birth control. She would just prescribe me pain medicine. When I finally told her one day, “I think I have endometriosis,” she replied, “Yes, you do.” I was so angry with her that day for having known all of those years what the issue was and never telling me. I began having trouble getting pregnant shortly after that, and it wasn’t until then that she or anyone else wanted to actually find a solution to my endometriosis other than “suppressing” it with birth control.

ravensd

8.

I had HORRIBLE PAINFUL periods for over 20 years. I saw multiple doctors and each one would would prescribe me a different birth control pill to try, none of them worked. I finally found a doctor willing to perform surgery. I was told that I was one of the worst cases of endometriosis he ever saw, that is how was diagnosed. I also has multiple fibroids and cysts on my ovaries and cervix. I had to have a total hysterectomy at age 36.

marykh2

9.

I started getting pains when I was about 12, doctors thought it was my appendix at first but then said it was just my period starting and I wasn’t “used” to it. I saw multiple doctors over the next 9 years and had several different tests done, I was told it was PCOS, it was just the reality of being a girl, it’s because I expected the pain that I felt it and finally – that it was all in my head. Sex was like being stabbed with a knife, and made relationships impossible. I struggled to focus on school and then later work. Finally I went back to my GP and simply told her I couldn’t live like this, she offered to refer me to a gyno but said it would cost alot of money to which I told her I had insurance- turns out she hadn’t referred me earlier cos she didn’t think a 21 year old could afford it. My gyno was amazing, within 6 months I had the operation to diagnose and treat endo. Even though it meant something that has no cure I was relieved that I finally had an explanation, and that it was by no means “normal” to be in that much pain. I will admit I was tempted to take my results back to the doctor who told me it was all in my head and shove it is face.

sllvowles

10.

My very first period at age 13 lasted 2 weeks and was extremely painful. That’s how it went for a few months until my mom took me to the gyno. They gave me birth control which helped. I still felt pretty shitty every month. At 15 I was having pelvic pain and when I sneezed hard my ovaries hurt. It was brushed off. I asked about Endo but they said it was impossible at my age. I started gaining weight at 16 and it went out of control until 18 when someone tested me for hypothyroidism (definitely had it, but gynocological concerns ignored, dismissed as obesity issues). At 19 I was diagnosed with PCOS. The pain was attributed to that. This whole time no treatment besides the pill was ever offered. Every year I asked about Endo and was told I was” too young” to have endometriosis. For the next few years I begged doctors to look or diagnose me. I was in so much pain every month I had to take at least 1 day off of work. One time I couldn’t walk without vocalizing pain. At 25 I had a 7 cm cyst everyone refused to remove despite the pain. They also denied I could have endometriosis because I was “still so young”. They just kept changing my pill brand. One asked me how I knew I had it and
I described how it felt like my colon and uterus were connected but were constantly being ripped apart. It was dismissed as constipation. The cyst has since shrunk a bit. After 5 gynocologists (all were women btw) and at age 27 when I wanted children, finally a doctor took me seriously. She listened to everything and did an exam with ultrasound. She said she had no doubt I had it. She recommended waiting on surgery until after kids. She also was appalled no one ever recommended an IUD. That was incredibly helpful. I’m no longer in constant pain or discomfort. With her help we got twins. I’m probably finally getting laproscopic surgery this year. And now my gyno isn’t saying things like I am too young despite having all the symptoms and being in crippling pain. Honestly the birth of my twins was less painful than the ripping sensation of the Endo.

lamata

11.

I’m 17. Nobody believed me when I said something was wrong until they saw the effects. It took seeing me curled up on the floor, unable to stand and vomiting from pain for my family to take me to see a doctor. Getting diagnosed is so difficult when everyone thinks you’re just being a hypochondriac. I was taken to a female doctor, who took me seriously and scheduled an ultrasound, which revealed endo growths scattered across my lower abdomen and ovarian cysts. After years of being dismissed and feeling invisible, it was relieving to finally be seen and helped.

Stay.Weird7

12.

I’m 18 years old and for the past year I’ve been in severe pain for two weeks of the month, every month. The week before my period I would get these horrible pains in my stomach and would have to curl up in a ball. Then the next week I had my period with all the normal terribleness it brings. This year has been the first one that I was away at college, so I figured that maybe it was just because I was nervous. I never wanted to call my mom when I was in pain because it hurt to do anything and when I wasn’t in pain I didn’t want to talk about it because I didn’t want to think about. This happened up until 3 weeks ago when I was home and I was going through my normal symptoms. My mom saw me and immediately booked an appointment with the doctor. I went to my normal doctor who had me make about 5 other appointments. I was going to my last one and was starting to give up hope. The doctor looked at my ultrasound for a few minutes and then said that she was pretty sure that it was endometriosis and that there were some easy things I could try to fix it. She also told me that it was going to last until menopause. It’s scary knowing I’m so young and have something I’m going to have to live with my entire life, but I’m glad that I at least know what it is and have people helping me feel better.

feeneyb

13.

I had symptoms pretty much from the time I was in high school. I’d have heavy bleeding, awful cramps, and extreme moodiness. When I was about 23, my mom told me I was going to go on the pill if only to help with the moodiness and tears. We started with Ortho Tri-Cyclin. The first month went fine, and the second month was the worst month I ever had.

I ended up having to change ob/gyns, and when she took my history, she said it sounded like I could have endometriosis. I didn’t want to do surgery right away, so she prescribed me a different birth control pill (I forget which one) and said to skip the placebo week and just take it straight through. I did that and, on my honeymoon (the 2nd month), I had a surprise period with awful cramps – I even missed dinner one night. When I came home and saw her again, she said that was a positive result…and we did surgery and cleaned it all up.

The surgery did so much good for me! I’ve still always had trouble finding a birth control pill that works on a consistent basis – I always end up having irregular periods while I’m on them – it’s been 20 years, and I’m just now really starting to feel the things that let me know it’s back.

Please, if you don’t feel right, tell your doctor! They can help!

Kathernelson

14.

I was diagnosed when I was 20 after 5 years of excruciating pain. I had a total of 9 hospital admissions in the first year alone, that does not even include the emergency room short stays. I kept getting turned away by doctors, specialists, nurses. Everyone. They kept saying it was phantom pain, to change my diet, exercise more, it’s just cramps. I changed my whole lifestyle. Still pain. Not once did anyone ever mention that it could be endometriosis. I have other medical conditions that are hard to understand (Ehlers Danlos) so everyone just said that it was because of the Ehlers Danlos. I got to the point of unbearable pain one day, I noticed I was bleeding a lot, bright red Frank blood, my periods never came so this scared me. I passed out from the blood loss and fear. I woke up in the hospital, attached to all these poles and they said that they are taking me in for emergency surgery because they think I’m miscarrying. I wasnt pregnant, I hadn’t had sex recently so I knew for sure. They rushed me in and finally saw it. I not only had Endometriosis, I had PCOS with a burst cyst. I waited 5 years to find out that it wasnt in my head, I was suffering every day and now, I have been told I can never have kids and will need surgery every year because it is so extreme. Why wouldnt they listen?

natashamoore07

15.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis when I was having surgery for uterine fibroids at age 32. I had always had horrible periods where I was in excruciating pain and frequently missed school or work. Sometimes I was even vomiting. I started having severe pain in my lower back that lasted all month but was particularly bad during my period. I also had my period nearly all the time for two years ( yes, two years). My doctor sent me for X-rays for my back pain and to physical therapy. She told me I would be dealing with this pain for the rest of my life because it was from a hip issue from when my hips were dislocated at birth ( my mum took me to specialists and I was treated properly and never had issues before). At this point I was drinking liquid Tylenol from the bottle and going through several bottles a week. I was teaching high school biology at the time, and I would literally lose the ability to speak in the middle of class from the pain. My doctor also gave me injections in my back that somehow made it worse- I nearly passed out in her office. I started googling my symptoms myself, and suggested one of the diagnoses I found to her – fibroids. I went for an ultrasound and that was what I had. She wanted to give me a hysterectomy. I went to another doctor that told me the same thing. I then flew home to Boston to see a specialist there, who assured me I did not need a hysterectomy and I scheduled surgery. Turned out not only did I have three different types of fibroids, but I also had two different kinds of ovarian cysts as well as stage 4 endometriosis. It was a seven hour surgery. They removed 8 pounds of fibroid tumors, one of which was the size of a grapefruit. (Quite shocking the physical therapy didn’t help with the tumors or cysts or endometriosis.). I had two subsequent surgeries to remove more fibroids and to remove more uterine lining from around my organs. When they were wheeling me out of the first surgery, I remember struggling to open my eyes and working really hard to speak so I could ask the nurse ( I think it was a nurse) if I still had my uterus. That is how afraid I was that I would wake up without one. Ladies- I had been asking doctors for YEARS if there was something wrong with me and I was always dismissed. No one believed me. You need to keep looking for a doctor that will listen when your body is telling you something is wrong. You are not crazy, or dramatic, or exaggerating. (Quite shocking the physical therapy didn’t help with the tumors or cysts or endometriosis.). You have to fight for yourself. I recently had to fight for myself again to get my employer to make accommodations for me. Endometriosis is considered a disability- it is a chronic pain condition and you are entitled to reasonable accommodations so you are not, for example, using up all your sick and vacation time because you are incapacitated every month. There are also treatments that will help. I pretty much stopped getting my period because my dr had me take birth control pills all the time- no sugar pills- and it was life changing. I’m trying to get pregnant now so I’m dealing with symptoms all over again, but hopefully it will be worth it ( although I don’t have much hope).

jessicad4c629a545

Man’s Post About His Ex-Wife’s New Engagement Photos Goes Viral For All The Right Reasons

Divorces can be pretty hard on families and individuals when they happen. Some get married, get divorced, and end up absolutely hating each other for the rest of their lives. But, there are others who defy the odds and decide that maybe marriage isn’t for them—but, they can still be friends. This is vital for couples who are going to remain in each other’s lives, especially when they have kids.

One man posted a status on Facebook about his ex-wife’s new engagement and it’s going viral because it’s definitely out of the ordinary. While many believe that an ex-husband may be bitter and salty that his ex-wife is moving on, Blake Higginbotham has a different mentality on this. He wrote:

This is my ex wife. The mother of my 3 children. The woman who brought all 3 of my children into this world.

We got married young , had 3 beautiful children and had a bitter divorce.
3 years later , that relationship is much different. We share the kids evenly and support them in everything they do. We act as a team.

The man she’s with is a great guy. He’s great to my kids and they love him to death. As a father , I couldn’t ask for anything more. I sincerely wish you both the best. I’m thankful for many things including yalls relationship.
To anyone divorced, I encourage you with all of me to try and look at this from a different angle. Just because you didn’t workout as husband and wife doesn’t mean you can’t be mom and dad.

Many people online were shocked and almost emotional over the bond that Blake and his ex-wife still have, and how they have worked to keep their friendship civil and alive to make sure that their kids have good role models in their lives.

We totally agree—this is how it should be.

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