losing-you Archives

Saying good bye to you is something I hoped I wouldn’t have to do for a long time. I’m sitting here by the Lake. Here to honor you. I know how much you loved the Great Lakes and the beauty that Michigan has to offer.

All I can think about is your light. The way that your laugh and energy was absolutely contagious. How we could sit and talk. I knew that I could tell you anything without judgement . You stayed by my side through some rough times. Looked me in the eye and said hat you where there for me no matter what.

I think about all the fun days. The sunset pictures we’d take while sitting on the on the beach in front of Lake Michigan. Singing karaoke “girls just wanna have fun.” The memories of the good times are endless.

Maybe what makes it hardest to stay goodbye today is that you where part of my chosen family. For a girl who has never been close with her actual family, the ones that I choose to be in my life, are so much more important to me. Making it so much hard to lose the people I love the most.

So today as we say good bye, I’m filling my wine glass up and sitting here watching the waves come in from another lake. Celebrating your love and light. Wishing that all of this wasn’t true.

Keep watching over us, we still need you love and light here too.

RIP my friend.

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Being reminded of you always brings a sudden ache in the middle of my chest.

Somewhere between inhaling your breaths and growing to adore your laugh, I fell head over heels, but you refused to catch me.

I try to let go of my memories of you, but you still haunt my dreams.

The pain (if that’s even the right word for it) you’ve brought into my life isn’t overwhelming or

chaotic, it’s silent and barely noticeable. It manifests as an absence of feeling more than anything else.

I used to feel too much; sadness, anger, frustration, joy, I felt it all. Sometimes it was just one emotion and others it was every one of them, all at once.

I felt so much for you that by the time it was all over, I no longer had the capacity to feel anything at all.

I remembered the sound of your voice today and it took me back to the time when I was still clinging to you, too stubborn to admit that we weren’t working.

Your sweet voice still echoes my mind, deep but graceful.

I’ve always just wanted to mean something to someone. I wanted to remain important to you after we split, to know that our connection was more than just a fleeting romance.

Instead, you took everything from me, even my feelings.

Tag: losing-you

Saying Good bye:

Just So You Know, Losing You Left Me Emotionally Numb