Dear Grief

You came uninvited. You made my heart your home. You took away all the memories we will never make. You stole years that we should have had. You bought tears to those incapable of feelings. You showed me that life is not easy; that life is hard. You showed me that tomorrow is never promised.

But, you also showed me the strength that I never knew I had. You showed me who the true people in my life are. You allowed memories that I had forgotten about to reveal themselves again. You showed me just how much love I really did have in my heart. 

I never wanted you. You were an unwelcome guest.

Yet, without you, I would not be who I am at this moment in time.

I would not understand how precious life is.

How important it is to say I love you.

Because of you, memories are treasured. 

Pictures are taken. 

The simple things mean the most.

Strange as it may sound, grief, I am thankful that you showed up.

I did not like you then, and I probably never will, but you taught me lessons.

Lessons that I never would have learned if it wasn’t for you.

You showed me how valuable life is. How things should not be taken for granted.

I wish I didn’t need you to learn those lessons. But we don’t always get what we want.

You showed me that through tears, come laughter. And the sun will shine again someday. 

To my angels in Heaven, Suzie, Stephanie & Sean, for whom they are the reason grief has visited me, I miss you all. I love you always.

About The Author

My name is Chrissie and I live in New Jersey with my family.  I love reading books. It helps to escape a little bit.  I love spending time with my niece. You can follow my journey at  My Grieving Heart.

Learn How To Properly Deal With A Loved One’s Untimely Death

The death of a loved one can be upsetting and unsettling even for the best of us. The gravity of the situation forces even the coldest of hearts to soften and break down into a million pieces. Although the level of pain is different for everybody and it is rightly said that everybody processes grief in their way. However, certain common ways can be adopted by the majority of individuals to ensure that their grief management gets better.

A loved one’s untimely death can be shocking and put you off-key, yet there are some people who often object to grieving and advocate the concept of moving on. However, it is important to honor mourning and take the necessary time for grieving. This is why we have explained the importance of mourning in this article to optimize the common narrative regarding mourning.

Importance of Mourning and Grieving

We grieve because we care, it is as simple as that. This doesn’t mean that people who reject the concept of mourning are insensitive, the difference lies in the expression of feelings.

Since our loved ones are an important part of our routine life, the void created by their departure is difficult to fill. Although practicality suggests that we move on with our lives and avoid wasting any time, but humans’ emotions aren’t designed this way.

We are required to mourn our loss to ensure we get closure from the incident and move past the void that has been created. For this reason, no matter what scale we choose, we need to stop and take some time out to accept and grieve for our loved ones.

Yes, it is true that the time we spend on mourning results in a decrease in our productivity, but we need to question ourselves, what’s the purpose of all this productivity if we are unable to spare some time from our monotonous schedule for our loved ones.

How to Deal With a Loved One’s Sudden Death?

Dealing with a loved one’s death is a tragic situation, let alone the addition of the “sudden” factor. For this reason, these strategies can be applied to help you deal with the sudden departure of your loved one.

Find Outlets for Expression of Your Feelings

Finding an outlet for the expression of your feelings is important. Bottling up emotions and especially sad emotions can eat a person from the inside. This is why it is always recommended to find outlets to ensure that you don’t keep your feelings contained.

Know When to Get Help

Irrespective of the issue, it is important to understand when you need external help to cope with the loss. If we take the US as an example, Denver stands amongst the top areas that are affected by wrongful death cases. In terms of an untimely or wrongful death, finding a reliable Denver wrongful death attorney will give you the guidance and tools needed to ensure your case isn’t mismanaged. With effective legal consultation, you can be free from the worries of any injustice in your case and take the required time for mourning the loss of your loved one(s).

Mourning is Your Right; Exercise It

Mourning is your right and there is absolutely no problem in exercising it. While there are people who might argue that mourning can be a waste of time, you are the master of your ship. You can take your time to grieve for your loved one.

 

How to Remember Your Loved One?

Many people often struggle to find happy memories to remember their loved ones. This is why we have curated a list of strategies to help you relive some.

Cook their Favorite Meal

Food is an important part of our routine. This is why remembering your closed one by cooking their favorite meal is considered to be an excellent technique.

Create a Shadow Box to Store Their Important Things

Assemble a memory box to store the things that will help you remember them whenever you miss them.

Talk to Them

As absurd as it might sound, talking to your departed loved ones can be an exceptional help. It will provide you with an outlet to discuss your daily life events and help you bring stability to your routine.

Mourning is essential to relieve oneself after the death of a close relative. Although the concept of death isn’t new, the “sudden” factor amplifies the pain for most people. Many people suggest that we shouldn’t allow grief to take over our lives and get back to our routine life as soon as possible. However, psychology experts suggest that grieving is important and should be given its due time before resuming your routine life. Therefore, the aforementioned strategies should help you deal with this great loss.

Header Image Source 

Saying Good bye: 

Saying good bye to you is something I hoped I wouldn’t have to do for a long time. I’m sitting here by the Lake. Here to honor you. I know how much you loved the Great Lakes and the beauty that Michigan has to offer. 

All I can think about is your light. The way that your laugh and energy was absolutely contagious. How we could sit and talk. I knew that I could tell you anything without judgement . You stayed by my side through some rough times. Looked me in the eye and said hat you where there for me no matter what. 

I think about all the fun days. The sunset pictures we’d take while sitting on the on the beach in front of Lake Michigan. Singing karaoke “girls just wanna have fun.” The memories of the good times are endless. 

Maybe what makes it hardest to stay goodbye today is that you where part of my chosen family. For a girl who has never been close with her actual family, the ones that I choose to be in my life, are so much more important to me. Making it so much hard to lose the people I love the most. 

So today as we say good bye, I’m filling my wine glass up and sitting here watching the waves come in from another lake. Celebrating your love and light. Wishing that all of this wasn’t true. 

Keep watching over us, we still need you love and light here too. 

RIP my friend. 

Header Image Source 

An Open Letter To My Angel In Heaven

Losing You

Where do I begin? I feel as though there are not enough words I can write to truly express all of the emotions that consume me on a regular basis knowing that you are gone. There are so many words I wish I could say to you, so many calls I wish I could make, so many moments I look at, wondering if you are somewhere off in a distant place watching me with pride.

 

The way in which you left this world was too abrupt. I wasn’t given the proper time to tell you everything I wanted to say. And I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you how much you truly mean to me, how much I need you in my life, how big of an impact you’ve had on me. I look back at our time spent together, knowing that I could have done more to be better—to do better, to be better to you and for you.

 

There are so many conversations I want to take back—how I wish I could rewind time and take the cruel insults I slurred at you in haste and anger back and swallow them whole. I feel like a beast—a demon—for speaking to you so cruelly. And I wish I had known then, what I know now—you never know when a word spoken can be the last.

 

I wonder so often if you are angry at me. And I wonder so often if you are at peace. I wonder so often if you are looking down on me, missing me, cheering me on, loving me from afar.

 

Twitter Thread Shows Just How Much Giving Up A Good Girl Can Screw Up Your Life

Many times in life, it so happens that we meet people at the wrong time. Even if two people are destined to be together, if it’s not the right time, things just won’t work out. Think of it this way—how many times have you dated someone that was in a completely different stage of their life (emotionally, mentally) and because of this, you could never see eye-to-eye? Maybe you wanted to move forward—get married, start a family—and your partner was too busy clubbing and bar-hopping every weekend.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but when you aren’t ready for the “right one,” the right one won’t wait around for you. So often, people think that “true love will wait,” but, that’s unrealistic and a bunch of fairy tale garbage. To prove it, I bring you Twitter user Rev Rell, who shared a story of her friend who lost a good girl forever.

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099355425504456704

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099355429975535617

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099355431774892032

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099356998087462912

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099358027231215616

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099358962653241345

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099359724926054400

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099361020961792009

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099365704116121602

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099365706922160131

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099366819465437184

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099368656310599681

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099438499290406913

People online were applauding the thread, thanking her for being so real and honest, and sharing their own experiences that this is—indeed—facts.

https://twitter.com/HarlemMC/status/1099374409666711552

https://twitter.com/yadada_mean_/status/1099469549018193920

https://twitter.com/amygair_/status/1099398243702763521https://twitter.com/sweeneyyyyyyyy/status/1099607056422764544

Twitter Thread Proves That Giving Up On A Good Girl Will Haunt You Forever

Many times in life, it so happens that we meet people at the wrong time. Even if two people are destined to be together, if it’s not the right time, things just won’t work out. Think of it this way—how many times have you dated someone that was in a completely different stage of their life (emotionally, mentally) and because of this, you could never see eye-to-eye? Maybe you wanted to move forward—get married, start a family—and your partner was too busy clubbing and bar-hopping every weekend.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but when you aren’t ready for the “right one,” the right one won’t wait around for you. So often, people think that “true love will wait,” but, that’s unrealistic and a bunch of fairy tale garbage. To prove it, I bring you Twitter user Rev Rell, who shared a story of her friend who lost a good girl forever.

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099355425504456704

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099355429975535617

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099355431774892032

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099356998087462912

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099358027231215616

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099358962653241345

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099359724926054400

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099361020961792009

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099365704116121602

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099365706922160131

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099366819465437184

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099368656310599681

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099438499290406913

People online were applauding the thread, thanking her for being so real and honest, and sharing their own experiences that this is—indeed—facts.

https://twitter.com/HarlemMC/status/1099374409666711552

https://twitter.com/yadada_mean_/status/1099469549018193920

https://twitter.com/amygair_/status/1099398243702763521

https://twitter.com/sweeneyyyyyyyy/status/1099607056422764544

This Is How Watching Someone Die Can Haunt You Forever

Watching you wither away, each day dying a little bit more, will forever be burned into my mind. But as much as it broke me to watch you die,I couldn’t leave your side. And as much as I hate to admit it, this is how it haunts me forever.

I was there when so many others weren’t,  I couldn’t let you be there scared and alone all those nights, that would’ve broken my heart even more.

I understand why some people chose not to come, they didn’t want the memory of their loved one to be shattered, altered with the memory of their death and deterioration.

But I set aside your pain to give you my undivided attention, to make sure you knew you were loved and so important to me. I risked my happiness, I risked my glistening and glimmering memories of you to see you in your darkest days and I’d do it all over again if I could.

Because the little bit of time you had left on this earth, I wanted to spend it with you. I wish I could have saved you, I wish I could love you so hard that it cured you.

I wish I could have made everything better… But that wasn’t an option, there’s no beating death. So instead, I stuck by your side till your very last breath.

I hope you know that I refuse to allow my memory of you to be tainted from watching you die, the happy memories still shine so bright.

I can still feel your arms around me sometimes, the warmth of being wrapped up in one of your big hugs. I even hear your voice in my head sometimes, it keeps me calm when I need it most.

I miss you every second of every day and I pray that I’m making you proud down here. Everything reminds me of you, both happy and sad, but I know I’m blessed to have had you in my life.

While I wouldn’t wish watching a loved one pass away anyone, I feel lucky to have been the one by your side through it all. You will forever and always be alive in my heart.

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