Useful Tips on How to Date When You Have a Busy Career

For many young people, it’s really hard to choose between your love life and your professional development. A busy professional life can seriously endanger your relationships and your dating life. To get ahead at work, you certainly have to sacrifice a little bit of your love life, no matter if you’re freelancing, working 9 to 5, doing night shifts, etc.

This might sound a little disappointing, but there’s no reason to worry—it’s possible to keep up with both your career and your dating. Millions of people are in the exact same situation as you, dreaming about having a successful career and a caring partner. Don’t let your career affect your dating with these practical tips:

Practice flexibility

Almost any job will throw you a curve ball every now and then—a sudden delivery of goods, an urgent email from the boss 5 minutes before your shift ends, someone failing to turn up for the meeting or shift, or any other form of emergency you can’t postpone. In case any of these happen to you, be honest and upfront with your date. Hopefully, they will understand your situation. But, at the same time, be ready to give someone a second chance when they ditch you for their work.

However, if canceling happens every time, followed with some work excuse, expect to lose a little bit of trust from your date. Canceling shouldn’t happen every time—it sends a message that you don’t care about the relationship and will always prioritize your job.

Pick a good date spot

Keeping up with dates when you’re busy can be a nightmare, no matter how much you’re looking forward to your time together. In order to make the arrangement easier on both of you, pick a date spot that’s somewhere around your workplace or halfway from your house and office. This will allow you to take your time instead of having to rush out early to travel all over the city. For quick weekday dates, this is the best date destination.

Try dating apps

Most people go out to pubs, clubs, gyms and social gatherings to meet their potential mate, but what can you do when your job doesn’t allow you to participate in such events? Well, dating apps can be a true lifesaver when it comes to meeting new people. And don’t be scared to think out of the box with these apps! If you know about a legit sugar dating app that connects rich men and beautiful women, feel free to sign up. Apps like this are very straightforward and they won’t waste anyone’s precious time. Plus, there’s still a way to develop a good connection with the person you’re sugar dating—it’s a beneficial arrangement for both parties.

Don’t talk about work

When you’re extra career-oriented, it can be hard to switch off your work brain. If you can’t leave it alone altogether, try to at least ignore your emails and Zoom calls when on a date. Not giving your date the attention they deserve will definitely not leave a good impression and earn you a second date. In most cases, dates involve some mention of your current job and your future aspirations, so don’t feel like you have to avoid career talk completely, but keep your rants about your boss to yourself. No one wants to listen to a 15-minute story about how your boss snubbed you for promotion or how Jessica didn’t do her spreadsheets right.

Incorporate dating into your everyday life

Just because you’re a career person, it doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy hobbies and social events. But squeezing in your job, hobbies and dating into your already stiff schedule can be hard. So try to mix dating and hobbies—invite your date to your weekly board game sessions or see whether they want to join you for your runs. This will allow you to enjoy all the things that you like—dating, hobbies, fitness and hanging out with people without sacrificing your job.

Put in some effort

When you have a busy and hectic job, you still have to make time for your partner or your date. Your situation might eliminate spontaneous dates, but it leaves plenty of space for something planned and scheduled. We all get busy sometimes, but your partner won’t let that slide forever. If you know you’re swamped all week, make sure to put in some extra effort into your weekend dates. For instance, make it up for canceling your lunch dates all week by organizing a romantic dinner on Saturday or even opt for a day excursion to your local wine cellar or spa.

There really are ways you can have it all—a great career and a beautiful partner, you just have to balance your life and take both your career and dating seriously. By prioritizing each when the time comes, you can have the best of both worlds.

7 Ways to Have a Healthy Long-Distance Relationship

Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? Even though it may suck, it’s not impossible.

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for several months now, with my boyfriend living between New York and California, and me living in Tennessee. Seeing as though he and I have a shared love language of physical touch, distance hasn’t been the easiest thing (which is putting it lightly). But there are things that we’ve done, and you can do, too, to make it a little more bearable.

1. Make a Schedule

One of the things that my boyfriend and I have done is figure out what each of our schedules looks like separately before making one together. Since his work schedule is a little more unpredictable than mine, I plug in the days he’s working into my schedule so that I can look and see when we both can be free at the same time. This also helps when you have other things to do such as errands, cooking, hobbies, etc., and you’re looking for a way to best utilize your time.

2. Communicate

Since you won’t be in the same place as your significant other, communicating is the most important thing you can do to make sure your relationship thrives. This goes for close-distance relationships, too! If there are things you don’t like, communicate that. If there are things that really work, communicate that, too. In doing so, you’ll see your relationship flourish even more.

3. Set Aside a Certain Amount of Time to Talk

Once you’re aware of each other’s schedules, try and designate certain times to spend time together – whether that’s over FaceTime, a phone call, or anything else. Putting effort into your relationship doesn’t mean you have to be in the same place as them, it just means that you actively try and spend time with your significant other in one way or another.

4. Have Virtual Dates

There are ways you can have virtual dates that are just as good as in-person dates. Set aside time for a FaceTime movie night, tune into the same live stream for a concert or comedy show, play video games together, make dinner at the same time… It really comes down to having some sort of bonding experience, even from far away.

5. Take Time For Yourself

Just like in any relationship, time alone is healthy. Making sure you set time to unwind by yourself is something that will make your time spent together as a couple stronger. When you take time for yourself, not only are you making yourself healthy, but that, in turn, will help the health of your relationship.

6. Flirt With Each Other

Just because you’re long-distance doesn’t mean you can’t still flirt with your significant other! One of the best ways to keep your romance alive is by showing your attraction to your partner in one way or another. Although you’re not there to do it in person, flirting over the phone or via text is still possible and an important aspect of a healthy relationship.

7. Talk About Your Goals

Actively talking to your significant other about goals in your relationship will help keep the purpose of your relationship at the center. Before even dating, discuss what you want your relationship to look like. Are you aiming for marriage? Something casual? Not really sure? The best way to navigate is to have those “define the relationship” conversations.

Being in a long-distance relationship may be challenging, but not impossible when they’re with the right person. The key is to communicate, and never stop communicating with your partner. If you feel a little lost in your long-distance relationship, there are other people out there who feel the same! But, by following these seven tips, you might find your relationship will become stronger than ever.

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About The Author

Emmie Pombo is a latte and tattoo-loving Tennessean who specializes in mental health and beauty writing. She holds a degree in Journalism and a certification in Makeup Artistry and Airbrushing. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

8 Things You Are Doing to Sabotage Your Love Life

You’re a perfectly nice girl, right?

I mean  you’re pretty, you work out,  and you’re independent, have a great job or are an astute student and are ALWAYS there for your friends. So why does it seem like everyone else is getting married or engaged and you are alone in the corner sipping on a long island… Ugh! You think to yourself:

“What’s wrong with me?”—all guys must be stupid. Or blind..OR BOTH. Has he SEEN the the glutes on you? You squat like 4 times a week! It has nothing to do with you… or does it?

Why don’t we take a second and OWN some of the mistakes we make…. if you’re having a hard time figuring it out how you are sabotaging your love life… here are some clues:

 

1. You are trying WAY too hard…

Did you really need to get eyelash extensions for your first date? I’m sure he appreciates the effort made to look good…but you might also make the mistake of seeming like you are WAY TOO high maintenance. Unless that’s what you were going for… and in that case, maybe you should be on sugardaddy.com, since you are looking for someone to take care of you and deal with your brattiness. Too much makeup or wearing eyelashes that look like your going to fly away when you blink translates into being a high maintenance bitch. Guys appreciate your natural beauty– and definitely want to see what you look like without the preparations for a beauty pageant.

 

2. Constantly bringing up your ex.

Even if you bring him up harmlessly, mentioning a past relationship relays the message that you are carrying baggage into your new one and/or are comparing your new beau to the ex. You can’t build on a new relationship if you haven’t gotten over the positive or negative emotions and attachments of the past. It’s not fair to the both of you. Most guys definitely don’t want to feel like you are rebounding with them, even if you aren’t. Regardless of whether or not Joe’s blue eyes remind you of Johnny’s…. keep it to yourself and don’t bring it up in conversation.

 

3. Expecting that he always pay for everything…

Most of my guy friends I’ve asked about this topic answer the same way… they usually pick up the check before the girl has the chance to… but if you never even make an effort or OFFER to pay for any of your meals or dates, you are sending the message that you expect it to be taken care of. Let’s be realistic, most millennials can’t afford dinner, meals, and outings for TWO several days a week. Surprise him… you won’t seem like every other self centered girl he’s dated in the past.

 

4. Living on your cellphone/social media.

Okay… so you’ve been on four dates and it seems like he’s pretty into you– Then you start doing that thing you do with your bestie and find every opportunity to take pictures. (Guilty, I still do this myself, my bf HATES it)

Those intimate moments that used to be about you and him and turning into events to post on your timeline and snapchat.

To us: We’re excited to show off our new boo to the world.

And to them: It seems like you are collecting evidence that we hang out with you… and it also makes us feel like you are taking this WAYYY too fast. Why do you take so many pictures anyway? Like are you making a scrapbook or something? Are you trying to make your friends jealous? It just seems a little pretentious to take a photo of the dinner and wine we are eating every time we eat… Why can’t you just enjoy it with me and not the world?

Most guys hate that most girls are selfie and social media obsessed. It’s refreshing to meet a girl who’s not that into herself and her pictures; Who doesn’t need to constantly check into websites to track what she’s doing and who she’s with.

Even though our intentions are good…and we really just want cute things to look back on when we are old and gray…

STOP YOURSELF THERE!

How do you even know he’s going to be the one you are old and gray with? This is the same thought process that is scaring any potential suitors away! You look CRAZY! And to be honest… you totally want to make your friends jealous with your hot date and cute outfit. (immature) Get off the phone, put it on vibrate, and ignore the urge to snap, tweet, and post–Before you get ghosted for the 10th time.

5. Giving it up way too early.

If you have sex with him right away, he’s going to assume you’ve done that with a few of other people. (And you probably have, don’t lie)

And if he doesn’t see that as a red flag, he’s probably really open minded, inexperienced, or he wants to keep having casual sex with you. Don’t mistake his staying around for genuine interest. You didn’t make it very difficult to get in your pants.

If you don’t have sex right away and he doesn’t stick around, then you know he wasn’t looking for a commitment. So you’ve actually done yourself a favor and pre-weeded out the jerk. It’s a lot easier to tell who’s interested in you as a person when you aren’t using your body to keep them around.

And look, I know it’s not easy. We are adults. And we have needs. We live in a society that utilizes double standards in judging men and women when it comes to promiscuity. Where being a sexual being, and also a women is seen as an excuse to be a slut. It sucks, but most guys aren’t mature enough to take you seriously if you sincerely are interested in being committed but also participate in casual sex.

For most women, we make the mistake of giving our bodies because we just want to feel loved and attended to.

If you really like the guy, just play it safe and don’t give it up on the first few dates….

6. Playing hard to get.

Think it’s smart to wait 3 days to text back, or ditch the plans you made with him here and there to make him ‘miss’ you? WRONG. Super duper fucking wrong. Most people our age have a couple of jobs, go to school, and have a ton of other important things to do besides wait around for you to reply to a text message or decide when it’s a good time to hang out. If you make yourself hard to reach, it honestly seems like you aren’t interested… and most guys will take the hint (even if thats not what you meant) and stop hitting you up. Nobody has time for mind games. Stop trying to make yourself seem like you are too busy for people and just be yourself. You made plans for dinner tonight? Don’t be a flakeIt’s insulting. What? Do you think you are too good to keep plans with me all of a sudden? That will earn you a “Who’s this?” real quick.

7. Being shallow.

You get what you give. And you can’t be extremely picky when you are extremely single. Moreover, you can’t be a nickel looking for a dime. If your “standards” sound more like an Abercrombie and Fitch modeling application… you might end up heartbroken.

If you DO find a guy that fits aesthetic bill you desire… expect him to be extremely self centered and entitled. He could be with anyone. He’ll say… You’re lucky he’s with you...

Dealing with this type of guy long term with leave you broke, burnt out, and with low self esteem. You’re constantly going to be looking through his social media outlets for the other girls he’s entertaining. (remember attention makes his world go round) You’ll live your life trying to prove to him that you’re good enough for him and fighting to “earn” his love because he’s got these supposed “trust issues” and quite frankly it’s convenient to keep a girl around who treats you like a king and is convinced she’s the one for you… even though you have no intention of ever making her your serious girlfriend. You will end up his “crazy ex.”

Because you will fall in love with those angelic blue eyes… and when you spend time ALONE together he’ll tell you how grateful he is to have you in his life and how much you mean to him… but he’ll NEVER wife you up. He’s honestly looking for his own perfect princess the same way you were looking for yours. Soon enough you will learn that looks aren’t everything… and by the time you DO figure it out… that guy you friend zoned will have grown up a few years and looks a lot more appealing… and is also in a happily committed relationship with a girl who saw his potential when you thought he was a just cheesy dork.

8. Friend-zoning the nice guy.

You know this guy: He’s handsome, sweet, funny… You’ve known him forever. He knows all of your bad habits and embarrassing stories and still thinks the world of you. He’s the shoulder you cry on when the douche bag breaks your heart. He’s always there to offer you comfort, reassurance, and good advice. If you ever need anything, he’s always there… whether it’s gas, or burger king, or company. He is literally your gay best friend… except… he’s not gay. He just understands you— and deep down inside you know if you gave him a change he’d treat you like an absolute Princess. So why are you keeping him in the friend zone?

-Kayla

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7 Dating Mistakes To Avoid In 2020 So Your Love Life Isn’t God Awful Again

Let’s face it—2018 wasn’t the best year for everyone when it comes to love. There are so many times we’ve made mistakes: we’ve drunk texted our ex to rekindle the flame only to be burned twice as hard, we’ve broken up with people we realized we should have never pushed out of our lives, and we’ve isolated ourselves from finding true love because we have a sour outlook on dating overall. 

Whatever the reason your love life took a bad left turn this year, it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed forever. In fact, there are so many opportunities and ways to fix your broken romance cycle this coming year, and we’re here to help you out.

 

1. Not being honest.

This is not only for yourself, but the person you are dating as well. We all have a gut instinct when it comes to anything in life and you need to be honest with yourself when your gut is speaking to you. Stop ignoring your guy and lying to yourself that your gut isn’t trying to tell you something; because it is. Be honest with how you really feel about the person you are with. Something in a relationship things starts out great in the beginning but after a few months, it’s not the same relationship. That is okay but it is important to be honest with yourself if you are staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in.

 

2. Chasing love that you truly know will never be yours.

Guilty as charged. A lot of us are. It is a natural behavior to chase after something you know that you can’t have or know isn’t right for you. That is a phase that you will eventually fall out of. “Chasing after someone that is not attainable will get old fast and wasting your time doing that will prevent you from chasing someone that is meant to be yours. Yes, the chase is fun every once and a while; and no one likes it when a relationship is easy. Things are boring that way, but it is very important to make sure you are chasing after someone that is attainable in the end. Time wasted is never satisfying.

 

3. Showing aggressive behavior towards the other person and the relationship you are trying to build.

A.K.A. coming on too strong, forcing the relationship too quickly, stalking the person’s every move after you first meet etc….All behaviors that are unnatural and will prove that you are too crazy to be with before a real relationship can actually blossom. You also can not force a relationship to happen. It just never works out that way. By engaging in aggressive behaviors that try to force a relationship you will just push the relationship back further from ever being a serious thing.

 

It Didn’t Last, but You Gave Me So Much More Than ‘Happily Ever After’ Ever Could

I fell in love “the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” I don’t really know when exactly it happened, but somewhere in between our intense eye contact and you wiping away my tears, the walls I spent years crafting was able to come down. I crashed into you fully and never looked back.

Our hearts kept it simple.

My heart was unguarded, and I gave you all of me. We didn’t just hang out. We played. Our souls were alive, it was as if we were seeing the world for the first time.

Being with you multiplied all the good in life and changed me forever.

But our minds were another story.

We were complicated people, you and I. We weren’t simple. Our minds were analytical and imaginative and we thought about everything. A lot. We ended up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.

We argued a lot. I fought with you at inopportune times, but my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for you. I cared. I loved you. I loved all of you.

I loved that I was the only one you showed certain parts of yourself too, you gave me all of you.

I wiped your tears as you spoke about your family, there’s nothing in this world I loved more than holding your hand and whispering words of reassurance in your ear because I knew you weren’t broken, you were just bent.

And I loved all your edges, all your roughness. Your imperfections were perfect to me.

I challenged you because I loved you.

I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn’t easy — as in, I didn’t just “go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you — I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you.

I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.

I never let you get away with slacking on your talents or putting in the effort towards our relationship because I knew what we had. And you were never left uninspired or unsatisfied.

You broke my heart.

Not too long into our magic, things started to turn. The fireworks combusted, leaving us burned and confused. We wanted it so badly that we thought there was a logical solution to working out our differences. But there wasn’t.

The truth is, you just weren’t ready. Your past, your demons, whatever the reason was, you started to push me away. You loved me in a way I have never been loved but you still weren’t ready. And that was the hardest thing to accept.

I knew I had to let go. Because you never ever have to convince or inspire someone to do the work to be ready.

There are many things I never thanked you for.

I thought I couldn’t live without you, but my heart is finally starting to beat again. You broke my heart open, but a new light was able to make its way in. You made me so desperate and out of control that I had to transform my life, and I did.

I thought I would grow old with you, but sometimes, life has other plans. That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. When someone touches your heart, they will infinitely be there.

I had so much anger and pain, it was gnawing away at me, slowly destroying me. But then I realized that our love wasn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one. It was the kind of love that gave me new life, which taught me much more than a ‘happily ever after’ ever could.

And I don’t regret a second of it.

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You Have To Choose Me Everyday (Or Leave Me)

A female perspective of “Choose Her Everyday (Or Leave Her),” by Bryan Reeves:

I spent two years getting badly hurt by a guy who stayed with me but never fully chose me.

He did want to be with me. He wanted to choose me. Falling in love is not a choice – choosing them every day once you do it. But falling in love is an instant connection, it’s unexpected – I met him and we just talked and I noticed the way his lips curved when he smiled and the color of his eyes and all at once I knew I was either lucky or screwed. Two eyes and a heartbeat. That’s all it took.

Unfortunately, as happens often with young love, our ignorance of how to truly love quickly created chaos in our relationship. I could see in his eyes that he would sometimes wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love him better.

As the months passed and that thought played more and more through his head, he started to appreciate me and less and less. Eventually, he stopped choosing me – and we both suffered. Love never dies a natural death. Love requires you to choose the person you fell in love with, again and again, choose to make an effort for them. And he just didn’t. Not enough.

He stayed with me. He just stopped choosing me. That killed me inside.

Choosing me would have meant focusing every day on the things I was bringing into his life that changed him. Realizing that I fought with him at inopportune times because my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for him. I cared. I loved him. I loved all of him. We didn’t just hang out. We played. We were silly and ridiculous and alive.

I was the only one who could challenge him – make him better, I couldn’t stop loving him no matter what he did. I was the only person who he ever fully gave himself to – I wiped his tears as he spoke about his dad, whispering in his ear that everything will be okay.

To be fair, towards the end of our relationship, I didn’t fully choose him, either. I was rage-fueled, vindictive, I often hurled awful insults at him – like fireworks our chemistry combusted, leaving us burned and confused.

But only after did he realize that I was that angry because I didn’t feel safe with him. I wanted him to wake up and realize that I was worth fighting for. That these so-called ‘options’ were nothing more than an illusion, that it was all bullshit – just his ego talking. That someone might be easier to love – but it would never satisfy him. Because what we had wasn’t easy – it was extraordinary. And I knew how rare that was.

Sadly, he didn’t understand this at the moment – he only realized it when it was too late. He was too focused on my anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of my strong personality that wore him down. I could feel him not choosing me, so it brought out the worst in me. Eventually, my biggest fear came true – he abandoned me, sabotaging our relationship, shattering my heart.

I’ll never be with someone who doesn’t choose me again.

If you’re in a relationship, I urge you to ask yourself this question:

“Is my partner choosing me today?”

Are they appreciating you, making an effort for you? Because love is not enough. Staying with someone is not enough. They have to choose you. 

And you can’t make someone choose you, you are only responsible for yourself. If the person you’re with doesn’t understand that a true connection is once in a lifetime, that it means something, that you have to fight for it, let them go. Because you never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready.

If they have one foot out the door, unable to see what is right in front of them if they think easiness is good, that there’s something better, that the more chances they have, the better, let them go.

Because only an extraordinary person can appreciate and choose the extraordinary. Make room for that person, the person who deserves all of your magic, the person who will eagerly choose you every day.

 

32 Things To Remember When You Think You’ll Be Forever Alone

It’s Sunday night and you’re sitting in your bed, wondering why you’re still alone in it. But as much as you wish Friday and Saturday could have salvaged that situation, those 48 hours weren’t enough.

If you find yourself getting stuck in your wallowing, remembering a few of these points might help to ease your quiet (or not so quiet) longing:

Everybody is born alone. Unless you have a twin, that is…

…And most of us leave this world alone.

 

People in relationships constantly compare themselves to single people (and are jealous of them!).

 

Important: Things didn’t work out with your ex for a reason.

 

More important: This moment in time isn’t how it’s going to be forever.

 

Being alone doesn’t mean being sad…

 

…And if you are sad, then remember that happiness is making its way over to you.

 

Booty calling your way into oblivion isn’t going to help.

 

There’s way more right with you than it is wrong with you.

 

You’re not doomed…

 

…You just haven’t found anyone worthy of your time.

 

 

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