To The Girl Hanging By A Thread, Seek Life.

Let me start off by saying…

YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY STRONG FOR FIGHTING THIS BATTLE FOR AS LONG AS YOU HAVE!

It takes strength, you have held yourself together for so long, there’s no wonder why you feel yourself slipping right now. You are only human which means you can only take so much pressure, hurt, hate, trauma... before the thread you are hanging onto just snaps.

“SEEK LIFE”

Two little words, simple right? This was exactly what I needed to see. You see, this little quote hits close to home for me without even realizing it. About a year ago I had slipped into the deepest point in my depression than I ever had before. I didn’t talk about it, I didn’t want to bother anyone… I was the girl who was always happy, “How could I ever deal with depression?!” Well, you see… When I did hit this point I hit it hard. I hate talking about it but I have to admit that taking my life did at one point cross my mind. I felt completely broken – I truly did not think I could have been put back together, but here I am today, a year later…

“SEEK LIFE”

(Yeah, that little quote I was talking about)

This little quote hits close to home… Lately, I have been feeling myself slip back into that dark place that I fought so hard to get out of. One morning while I was in bed I was scrolling through Instagram as we all do, and I came across this post with a girl wearing a hoodie that said “SEEK LIFE” and on the hood, it shows the words “ FEAR, SUICIDE, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION“ all with a line through them. Seeing those four words with a line through them meant winning a fight, it may be a constant battle but you are fighting and you are winning! You are choosing to “SEEK LIFE.” You can put money on the fact that I ordered that hoodie right then, and there.

It’s a reminder to me to always keep fighting because I will win the fight, and one day I will win my battle! My story is not finished yet, I was meant to do something great, I was meant to make a difference…

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Spring Blooming

Spring is a bouquet of new beginnings and a reminder of how our times of darkness are never as permanent as they seem. Warmer weather and flowers in bloom don’t just make this world a brighter, more colorful place. They shake us awake from the various forms of slumber that take hold of us in winter.

How crazy it is to think of who we were even only a few weeks ago! Whether it was physically bundled up in defense against the elements, or locked away mentally in attempts to weather internal storms, today, I hope, is different. I look back, an act of quiet privilege, to see how growth has shifted me further and further from what once felt so permanent. The shiver against the cold has left my body, and though I remember its chill, the warmth of today feels all the more welcoming.

We speak so often of happiness, something as fleeting as our seasons, but I think our focus is sorely misplaced. You see, people want the state of happiness like they want warm weather. Are we not the same people who dredge through the summer months as well? I can picture us now, soaked through our clothes and brows permanently slick with perspiration.

Like hot and cold, life’s challenges ebb and flow, and to want for one is to unknowingly beg the invitation of the other.

To chase happiness is to chase a feeling that we tie to a certain day or moment in our lives where it seemed like cold or even brutally hot days would never again surface. You can cling to that for as long as you want, so long as you realize you will be forever subservient to an idea, a yesterday that has come and gone.

Instead of happiness, like a new spring each year, I yearn for growth. Truthfully, it’s within growing that we gain new understandings of peace – something well beyond the limits of a happiness that once served us. Discover the peace of letting go of the idea of chasing happiness, and realize it’s right here, regardless of the weather.

I’ve always dreamt of an eternal spring.

To bottle the energy, sights, and smells of this season would be like capturing our closest slice of utopia. However, to bottle spring without an inkling of winter or summer or fall, would be like getting all dressed up to sit on the floor of your living room. There would be no substance, no reason to rise to the occasion and step into the warmth we all so dearly cherish.

This winter, especially, seemingly drawing to no end, has made me appreciative of the need for seasons; the need for change. I savor every day, even the gloomy ones, more knowing that the world I see today is constantly changing. The tears we shed today will be gone tomorrow, the snow that once blocked our paths will melt away, and the flowers will bloom. Those flowers, though they will leave us, or even precisely because they will leave us, bring joy.

It’s in seeing the beauty of a world that starts again; in life that opens up in the aftermath of winter’s hostility, that I see our lives are not much different.

With each season I feel myself growing closer and closer to something I can’t even put words to yet. I remember once spending my days worrying about if I would ever grow, and now I simply marvel at what I’ve grown into. That’s my favorite part about all of this, and I see it reflected in the world around me as I see flowers blooming in places I would never have expected. I see colors where I once saw barren nothingness.

In my life, as I know thanks to the nature around me, other seasons rest around the corner, waiting to instill even more growth. There will be sunny, tormenting, and unbearable days, where I fly too close to the sun, foolishly thinking I won’t get burned. Cooler temperatures in fall will show me respite, but also leave me wishing the colors that once adorned the trees would stay evermore. Finally, and most certainly, there will be winter yet again. There will be darkness and frost that freezes over many of the things I cherish.

Of course, this is all for a reason, and, yet again, we will bloom in spring.

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About the Author

Miguel is a senior at American University studying Business Administration with a concentration in Sustainable Change & Analytics. His passions outside of writing are running, traveling, and learning new languages. Follow him on Instagram.

Why You Need To Put Yourself First In 2021

I am the first to admit that my self-care is seriously lacking. However, I think 2021 is a perfect time to start implementing some new and better habits. Who doesn’t want to be the best person they can be? I know I do.

We all know the importance of sleep. This is another thing that I have not been great at in the past, but here is my bedtime self-care routine.

Set boundaries around time:

This was a hard one for me and something that I still struggle with. However, it’s so important to have boundaries around your time. I am the first to be working well into the wee hours of the night. So my workday ends at 3, which means I am done emailing and doing anything else work-related at 3. Being a college student I have so much homework all the time so from 4-6 is when I work on homework. This allows me to usually study and do homework for one class. On weekends I take the extra time I need for classes, and I try to squeeze a workout in before dinner. Then after dinner, it’s time for a shower and some downtime.

Exercise:

This has become such an important part of my nighttime routine (I tried to be a morning exerciser I’m just not). This is something that helps me turn my mind off and feel good afterward. Even if I didn’t get everything that I wanted to achieve done that day, exercise is something that I accomplished. I feel great and I’m ready to wind down for the rest of the evening.

A full belly and a hot shower:

I’m usually starving after working out so I have to eat right after. I also feel like I have to have something healthy because well I just worked out and I wouldn’t want to take all that work away by eating something that’s going to make me feel like garbage. Next is the hot shower. This is where I melt the day away. I come out feeling clean and relaxed ready to snuggle up and relax for the evening.

Reading or tv:

We all need something to help us wind down. To take our minds off of the day. Whether I read or watch tv really depends on the day. Thursdays you can find me on the couch snuggled up with my dog watching Greys. Although the other days of the week are hit or miss if I find something good I’ll watch tv if not it’s to my room to read.

Breathing:

This is something that I do every night before bed. I work on control breathing. I hold my breath a lot when my anxiety is high. (who’s isn’t right now) So this is a time for me to really relax and get into the mood to sleep!

I find night time is the best time for me to do self-care. It’s relaxing for me and the perfect way to end the night and rest a-little before my busy life kicks back up the next morning!

I hope this helps! Stay mindful!

Cheer For Yourself Too

Many people ask me why I am so hard on myself. They say that I never see how hard I work, or how much I give to other people. I just realized they are so right.

There can be someone who has been in the same or similar situation that I have been in, and I am at the front lines cheering them o because well, you go girl! But me no, I am not cheering myself on instead I am up criticizing my self. I am thinking of all the things I did not get done instead of thinking about all the things that I did accomplish in a day. I am thinking about how I should be working when I am relaxing because those six days a week that I work just are not enough.

When someone asks me to do something that I know I do not have the time for I genuinely feel bad because I cannot do it for them. Forget making my life easier no I feel bad because I cannot take that burden off of someone else shoulders. So I am here to tell myself right here and right now.

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Why Embracing Your Body Shape Is Important For Your Health

Embrace Your Shape

Embracing your body shape is important for your health. These days there is a big emphasis on the importance of workout, which is always a good thing since people truly need to become more aware of all the benefits that they can get with regular exercise. Thanks to social media, there are many tips and tricks that can help you get in shape, but also, there are multiple fitness influencers with great bodies that can make one feel less adequate. If you also feel that way, fear not, because that is quite common among those who don’t often exercise or don’t exercise at all.

So, in order to have positive effects out of your workouts, it is important to embrace your body shape first, therefore, here are a few reasons why you should make that happen before deciding to do anything else.

Your body is your source of power and strength

You might not feel like that at the moment, but the truth is, your body is responsible for everything that you do. Focusing on your imperfections can only make you less focused and motivated to do things that really matter. So, instead of obsessing over insignificant flaws, you should aim to accept yourself for whom you truly are. By embracing your body shape, your embrace all of it. A bit of tummy fat, flat feet or flabby arms might look less attractive, but they are all easy to fix once you become committed and driven to do so. Therefore, thank your body for everything that it can do. And embrace your shape then start working on improving yourself.

Mindful exercise will help you a lot

Being motivated to exercise is great, but once you get started, it is essential to listen to your body so you won’t end up hurting yourself. Embracing mindfulness can help you a lot: just listen to your body and make sure to give it everything it needs. Don’t strain yourself trying to achieve impossible, and remember that baby steps are important as well. As long as you keep doing healthy and productive things, you will be able to see the benefits of these actions.

Find exercises that really work for you

Before you decide to start, it is important to find exercises that really work for you. For example, doing certain workouts can be too much especially if you’re out of shape, so whatever you do, remember to take it slow and follow your own rhythm. Some physical activities are easier than others, so if you are not sure where to start, remember that jogging is always a good choice, as it allows you to create your own schedule and do things on your own terms.

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The Season of Chaos and Stress – How to Create a Balanced Life

Season Of Joy Season Of Stress

Sometimes, life feels like riding a unicycle. You need to keep the balance, stay on track and keep on going ahead. We do the same in life, when we try to figure out this balancing act. Every person determines their values in life so they view balance in a certain way. What is off limits to one person, can be completely normal to the other. For example, someone works 10 hours a day, while somebody else considers it crazy. Thus, balance in life is something every person views differently.

?But, all of these people suffer when one aspect of life is more dominant than the other. In such case, everything else suffers and the person will inevitably become overwhelmed, have negative thoughts, feel stressed and unhappy.

?If you can determine an area of your life that is more dominant than everything else, like your career or a demanding relationship, it’s time to push pause and take control of your life. If it is pushing you to the extremes, it is time to strike a proper balance and make time for everything that matters in life. That’s what balance is about – living a well-rounded life that makes you happy

Come up with a schedule

A schedule will keep you right on track. This is important during the season of chaos and stress, also known as the holiday season. Since you cannot attend every event and stay sane along the way, schedule the things you really want to do. When you do this, block out time on your schedule for things that are high priority. Anything that is not a priority, should not be on your to-do list.

?Stick to a schedule that works for you and keeps the stress at bay. Everything that does not align with this, should not be given value.

Create a “Safe Space”

A safe space is somewhere you go when things become overwhelming. It can be an entire room in your house or a rarely used nook in one room. Either way, spending time in this area should calm your mind and stressed out nerves.

?Make it bright, cozy and let it represent your unique personality. You’ll need a comfy chair, a fluffy blanket so you can stay warm, a side table you can put your books on. Include a plant or two to create that Zen vibe.

?Scented candles or incense can stimulate your senses during your cozy retreat in your safe place. Make this area tech free because we already spend almost every waking minute attached to a smart device or a screen.

Take care of your internal balance

If your internal balance is disrupted, you won’t be able to reduce the state of overwhelm. Internal balance is all about our body, and how our heart, mind and health are in sync. So, we should give each one of them equal attention if we want to strike the right balance.

Engage the mind

By engaging our mind creatively, we clear out any negative ot nagging thoughts. The mind needs a break from our daily stressors and repetitive actions. reading can reduce stressand improve our cognitive skills. It sharpens our focus while it also stimulates your imagination and creative thinking.

?Meditation is another way to relax a stressed out mind. Even a ten minute focused meditation can positively influence your memory, mood, reduce stress and improve attention. Take care of your mind just like you take care of your skin, body and soul.

Heart health

The importance of regular physical activity cannot be stressed enough during stress and chaos. This is the time to stay true to your regular routine because it will help you cope better. An hour of an intense sweating session can get your heart pumping and blood flowing through your system. Your brain will flood you with endorphins and instantly improve your mood. You will feel better, breathe easier and sleep like a baby afterwards. Use exercise as a weapon against stress and push it out through sweat.

Overall Health

When times get chaotic, the first thing that suffers is our health. We sleep less, have poor dietary choices and forget to take care of our body. In order to reverse the negative effects of such a lifestyle, we should first prioritize sleep. Our body needs sleep to function properly and have enough energy to deal with daily challenges. Make sure to maintain a regular sleep routine even during the weekends. 7 to 9 hours of sleep should be your goal.

?Next, pay attention to how you fuel your body. Your health depends on your diet so make sure you eat nutritious meals every day. This means that each plate should have a balanced portion of protein, healthy fats, veggies and whole grains. To get yourself started with healthy eating you can have the best prepared meals delivered to your office in order to avoid unhealthy cravings. The office is the main reason why people reach for unhealthy meals as a response to stress.

?This way you’ll be able to control how you respond to triggers. Also, make sure to stock up on healthy groceries and make your own meals in advance. Just remember that a balanced life is a healthy life too.

Find the time for yourself

We are the bosses of our lives. It is up to us to prioritise me-time over the things that are not equally important. If you feel like you don’t have the time, then, create the time. We spend most of our time working, so we cannot take time off from work. But we can tailor our after-work time to squeeze in a self-care ritual.

?Try to find an hour for yourself, away from personal or family duties. This way you’ll strike that much needed balance in life and invite happiness into your life.

Self-care every day

Now that you have the right tools to take control of your life, it’s time to start practicing these tips. Create a schedule that works for you and prioritize things that matter the most. Take action to keep yourself in balance and avoid further stress accumulation. Find retreat in your own home and use it to rest, relax and destress.

Always Choose You

“To thine own self be true.” –Hamlet

Life is hard, and while we didn’t sign up for the journey we are simply chosen to live it. The chaos this world creates can bring the warmest spirits to shambles. With so many negative influences it’s easy to get lost in the anarchy.

I found myself on a walk with a stranger. I peered into the mirror and no longer knew the reflection. The last me I knew was happy. She enjoyed art and flowers. She had clear skin and no dark circles under her eyes. She took care of her health both mentally and physically. Most importantly she loved the new adventures each day gave her.

Who was this? This girl was sad. She wore her anxieties on her shoulder and while she still smiled, it was all for show. Her biggest fear was what the next chapter of life would bring. This girl was saddened by all the things that made her previous self whole.

The questions I started asking myself were immense. Who am I? What do I enjoy? What even is my favorite color? I couldn’t answer a single question about ME. The skills to think for oneself taught since the time of birth and I felt as if I were reading a foreign language.

How can you simply forget who you are?

You listen to the world.

You listen to every opinion of who you should be to the point that you’re not human any longer. You are nothing more than a figment of someone’s imagination. You become exactly what the world says you should be, and then they tell you it’s not good enough.

My message to everyone is live for yourself. Be happy with whom you see and never lose sight of them. The journey back is ten times harder than the trip there, and it’s fought alone.

I’m finally regaining some knowledge of who I once was and the feeling of a sincere smile is indescribable. When life makes the offer to choose your happiness or the happiness of others, always choose you.

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Love yourself

I’m going through a pretty tough season in my life right now. Some people will probably roll their eyes as far as they can into the back of their head as I explain the challenges I’m facing, because although it has been hard for me, I’m positive that I’m not going through anything close to what other people are going through. I am very fortunate to have what I have, don’t get me wrong. But the problem is that I’m never fully satisfied and I don’t stop pushing myself (or others) until I am.

This was a great trait to have as a child and even as a young adult, considering that I was able to earn enough money to go on school trips to Washington, D.C. twice, I worked three jobs at one point in college so that I could study abroad, and after returning from the Czech Republic, I graduated with my bachelor’s degree–which I accomplished in three and a half years. I am very proud of all my achievements, including beating teen pregnancy–which a lot of people thought I wasn’t going to do.

My intention is not to make myself feel good or make others feel bad, but rather I’d like to get really vulnerable with the world. My life looked perfect on social media; I traveled frequently, I had a super hot boyfriend, I was always going to concerts and shows, and I looked happy. Here’s the deal:

I wasn’t.

After my ex and I broke up at the beginning of my sophomore year of college, I took that time to do whatever I wanted–and I mean whatever. I was traveling the world, hooking up with random guys (sorry Mom), making music, underage drinking (sorry, again Mom), literally anything. Sometimes a few of those things at once! But no matter how many comments I got on how happy I looked or how much fun I was having, I still felt a void.

Ever since I was little, I was the girl who always had to have a boyfriend. Now, I’m not going to blame this on my “daddy issues,” but now that I’m older, I do think that I created my own independency issues–Mommy issues, if you will. I liked dating immature losers because I liked helping them and–get ready ladies–I liked trying to change them. It was a challenge to me and I enjoyed pushing others to become better, just as much as I enjoyed pushing myself. I relished in the feeling of having someone rely on me, almost in a motherhood way. This wasn’t always a bad thing, but what I learned over time is that those losers didn’t care about me all along (shocker, right?!). I was being used and betrayed time and time again. I never felt like I was good enough for anybody because I was always getting cheated on or stabbed in the back. I didn’t understand why. Did they not read my resume?! Did I not talk enough about my accomplishments listed above?! What’s wrong with me?!

What I’ve finally started to realize is that I shouldn’t have ever dedicated so much time and effort into someone who didn’t appreciate me for what I had to offer. They couldn’t change me and I couldn’t change them. What it comes down to is this: I was far too busy trying to help other people love themselves, that I forgot to teach myself how to love me.

So, fast forward a couple of years, and my life still looks perfect. I have a decent job, I married the man of my dreams, I only have $1,800 of student loan debt left, we’ve started our own business, we have a dog and live in downtown Denver. Perfect, right?

Wrong.

Remember how I said I forgot to teach myself how to love me? Yeah, that’s still an issue. Isn’t it crazy how problems don’t just go away if you put them off to the side?! Since I never took the time to actually face this dilemma, I’m now dragging it into my marriage. Let me explain:

I accuse him of cheating because I’m insecure.
I didn’t learn how to properly cope with issues so not only am I taking my anger out on my husband, but also I’ve developed a very unhealthy drinking habit.
My negative attitude and constant nagging is having an impact in the bedroom.
I’m constantly comparing myself to the women we’re around in public and I’m watching his eyes to make sure he doesn’t check them out.

I’m constantly battling with my own thoughts and if there isn’t anything else you get out of this please, get this:

It’s OKAY not to be okay. You don’t have to pretend to have this perfect, glamorous lifestyle and that everything is okay, when in reality, you’re crying yourself to sleep because you don’t have the ass of a Kardashian or the right man just hasn’t walked into your life yet. PLEASE, for the love of God, put down your phone and learn to love yourself. And if you have any tips on how to do so, HMU.

Seriously though, if I can save you from making the same mistakes I have, then my job here is done. Take a day off and treat yo’ self. Stand naked in front of the mirror and admire the beautiful body that God has blessed you with. Surround yourself with others who lift you up and who you can cheer on, as well. As the great Rachel Hollis says, “Girl, wash your face!”

35 Women Who Ditched Their Razors For No-Shave ‘Januhairy’ Share Progress Pics

A new year brings new trends and resolutions to try. This year, many women are out trying to smash the patriarchy and unrealistic beauty standards and expectations of women all over the world. To do this, some have decided to partake in a no-shave “Januhairy.” The idea came from student Laura Jackson, who said that the idea behind the campaign was to empower women to understand more about themselves and about others. Essentially, the goal is that women grow out their hair all January long without shaving. And, to celebrate how far they have come, women have been sharing their progress pictures so far, in the second week of January.

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25. Why Self Love Is the Most Important Lesson You Will Learn.

Every girl knows THAT feeling.

The feeling of butterflies when you wake up to the “hey beautiful!” text.

Or the thrill that comes over your body when you’re in the car and his hand slides onto your thigh, marking a sweet but somewhat sexy possessive move.

Life was a dream. I had a man who made me feel complete.

I was the happiest girl, he promised me the world.

I didn’t need the world, I am fairly simple, and I knew just having him was enough.

Date nights turned into weekends spent together, and the miss you texts would come as soon as he got in his car to go home.

Friends always said they wished they had the relationship I had. I was spoiled but damn, was I loved.

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