Why We Desperately Need To Stop Telling Guys To ‘Man Up’

Feelings. They are not unfamiliar to us and in fact, everyone harbors them. Some showcase their feelings more than others, but we cannot deny that we have them even if we tried. As human beings that we are, we hold a special ability in which we are able to fabricate emotions. Sensitivity is a beautiful trait to hold because it makes you well..human. It’s just the nature of things.

So why is it totally acceptable to tell any man he should “man up” when they let their feelings be known? Generally speaking, why should anyone withhold from having any emotions?

As we grow up into our own personas, we tend to be shown that only girls are able to cry and be sensitive, while guys should never show their feelings. Hence, crying is not an option and being afraid is out of the question. If they do happen to show even an ounce of any of said acts, then they are automatically labelled as being p*ssies and too feminine. Well, lemme tell you how much bullsh*t that is.

As a society, we have done a great job in shining light on very important problems in the world like body image, mental illnesses, sexist mindsets, etc. Just as how women are able to become the victim of all those problems, men can too. But, they are so often afraid to share their stories in fear of being labelled weak. They should be able to openly share it without fearing the status of their masculinity. Why? Well because men are just as human as women are.

Taking that into consideration, why can’t both genders equally display their emotions without one of them being criticized? Valuing a man who cannot fathom the notion of any type of sensibility is not cute. In other words, it’s not cute to tell any man to “man up.”

Making a man completely trash his emotions just makes for a frustrated male. A frustrated male who has been told to bottle up his feelings and adopt the typical macho man persona. What good does that do to our world? Other than not being able to develop any sort of empathy or sensitivity to be able to relate to others, nothing. Just a typical socially accepted emotionally disconnected guy. Cue the F*ck Boy.

Maybe You Should Man Up Instead of Feeding Me Excuses 24/7

You Are Full Of Excuses

I tried for so long to see past the reality of our relationship. But, the truth is you loved making excuses way more than you could ever love me. 

You didn’t want to be held accountable for your mistakes. Instead, you would make me feel like everything we ever went through was somehow my fault.

And, it broke me for a long time. Because I bought into it. It just made me try harder to be better for you and be better for us.

 

But, I was never the problem. 

It didn’t matter how hard I tried to fix everything or how often I forgave the same mistake over and over again.

It didn’t matter that I let you off the hook every time you let me down or I tried to find ways to cut you slack and lower my expectations of your contribution to us.

And, like so many times before when I got to this breaking point, I tried to pour my heart out to you about it.

 

I tried to make you see why this wasn’t working on the off chance that something I said might resonate with you.

But, once again, you had your normal line of rationalizations ready and waiting for me. The same things I’ve heard, time and time again. You have an excuse for everything. For every mistake and every situation. And your excuses became mine. I would defend you over and over again.

I don’t know why it took this long, but it finally became so clear to me: this is not worth it.

I am worth more than these excuses. I am worth more than this inconsistent, unhealthy, disappointing dynamic. I am worthy of finding someone that is never going to allow us to settle into this toxic, distorted version of love.

Because it’s not that you’ve made mistakes. It’s that you never planned on growing with me from them.

 

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