Top 10 Things To Never To Say To Somone With Anxiety

1.“You’re faking it.”

No, no I am not “faking it”, do you really think I like to have my chest tighten up, my breathing to become irregular, and my heart to feel like it is about explode? No, no I do not. I’m not faking it, so kindly fuck off, k? K. Byeeeee.

2. “You just want attention.”

Yeah, cause I totally want to have all eyes on me, pity and fear from anyone around me, watching me struggle to catch my breath and my thoughts, not being able to form words, sweat beading my forehead, and my entire being freaking out. Yeah I loveeeeee the attention, NOT. Go on with your judging ass self.

3. “Calm down.”

Haven’t you learned by now, telling anyone to calm down is just going to piss that person off more. Like I can control my freak outs? Like I want to freak out? Yeah, I’ll just “calm down” ‘cause you told me to…Bye Felicia.

4. “It’s going to be okay.”

Is it? How do you know? Why would you say that when I, deep down, know I am going to be okay, but in my current state, I can’t breath, I can’t talk, and I can barely process what is going on around me because everything seems like I’m in a long tunnel, and all noises sound like I’m under water, so don’t tell me it’s going to be okay.

5. “Why are you freaking out?”

Do you think if I truly knew why I was freaking out, I would have already tried to find a solution to fix that problem? Sometimes anxiety hits without warning, out of the blue, no triggers, it just happens. Panic attacks can come on, full force, and I haven’t a single clue to why. So stop asking okay?

6. “Anxiety isn’t real”

The fuck it aint. It is 1000% real. It sucks, it makes no sense at times, and it drains you, not only mentally, but physically and emotionally too. You literally feel like you’ve ran a marathon, and your mind becomes so cloudy and foggy afterwards.

7. “It’s all in your head.”

Maybe it is all in my head, but regardless, at that given moment, when I am profusely sweating, my body seizing up and becoming overheating hot, to numbingly cold, I’m not telling myself, “it’s all in your head”, I’m just trying to ride the panic wave out, until I can finally feel like my normal self again.

8. “Just breath.”

Yeah, duh Captain Obvious, I’m fucking trying to. I happen to like breathing like a normal human and not like a wheezing cat that just can’t hack up that hairball.

9. “Mental health is stupid.”

Oh is it? Is mental health stupid, or is it just you, because you don’t understand it, and can’t be bothered with being empathic and sympathetic? Mental health is real and it isn’t funny. It’s not a game, and it sure in the hell isn’t a fun little game to feel like you’re crazy because you’re different from someone else. Stop trying to make others feel bad about something they struggle everyday with to control and manage, just because you don’t have the issues or been through the shit they have.

10. “You’re crazy.”

Being called crazy is the quickest way for someone to get throat punched. Having panic attacks or anxiety attacks doesn’t deem you crazy, it just means your mind works differently. Don’t dog on a person just because they are different. It doesn’t make them crazy because they have triggers that send them into panic attack mode. They already feel crazy because everyone is watching them, and they can’t focus, talk, or think, don’t make it worse by being ‘that asshole’ who calls someone crazy when they already feel a certain type of way.

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Kayla Leanne Goss

Just a 30 year old small town girl, trying to navigate this rollercoaster we call life, writing about relatable shit that WE ALL go through and struggle with daily.

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Loving someone with Anxiety: 

As someone with anxiety I know that there are times when I’m making more out of things then they are. I know that I’m totally overthinking everything, and falling down the rabbit whole. I know that being in a relationship with me is hard because things that are said, can often lead to a full blow anxiety attack. This can lead to miscommunications, and hurt feelings. 

Here are a few things to remember when loving someone with anxiety: 

Stop texting: you can tell when my anxiety is high even by a text message. Tell me, we are clearly mis-communicating so, we need to talk face to face. This will relieve my anxiety, and keep me from feeling crazy! 
Listen to what I need: if we are in an a stressful situation I will tell you what I need you todo. That is what I need in that moment. That might mean you cannot comfort me right then. That’s okay, I don’t need that I need you to listen and do what I’m asking. 
Tell me I need to be quiet: if I start to ramble you need to tell me that I need take a breath. That is my anxiety that I’m not always aware of. 
Let me get it out: sometimes it’s not me rambling it’s me needing to get my thoughts out. You might have to just listen. I’ll tire myself out. It’s me venting. Let me vent. We will move on soon! 
Dealing with anxiety is just as frustrating for me as it is for you. Probably more so. There are things I’m not always aware of. Remember that I’m trying. Help make me aware. Also, remember I’m not as fragile as I make it sound. Tell me what you are thinking and feeling. 

Let’s work together, because this is hard. But I’ll keep getting better. I promise. 

 
If you are suffering from anxiety, I urge you to find coping skills that work for you. Be patient, and if you need it find someone who can help you learn more about it and learn more about the things that can help you! 
 
Stay healthy 

Anxiety & Covid19: How To Set Affirmations During The Pandemic

Well here we are. In a pandemic. Honestly, I didn’t even know what that meant until it happened. I actually googled ‘pandemic.’ All my anxious brain heard when that word was mentioned was “were all going to die.” That is how powerful our mind is, especially if you’re someone who struggles with anxiety. Anxious thoughts have a way of making you feel powerless and often results in physical and emotional symptoms that may seem impossible to control.
For those of us that struggle with anxiety, logic is basically overruled by the belief that something unlikely or impossible will happen. When we feel loss of control or an anxiety attack comes on, the chances of experiencing irrational thoughts increase. One way to start healing and challenge these thoughts is by recognizing they are there in the first place. Once you can label and dissect an irrational thought, you take away its power!
The truth is, we have more control over the way we think than you may realize! The way we think can influence how we feel, which can control our mood the entire day. This is why we have to practice challenging our irrational thinking patterns. It so important to find a replacement thought in times of high anxiety (like a global pandemic for example).
By being more self-aware and acknowledging that this thought pattern is not accurate, you are successfully telling your anxiety that you know it’s creating this altered view of reality…and that it does NOT have the control! Believe me, I’m not saying this is easy to do, and many times impossible to create this habit without the help of a licensed therapist…BUT believe me, IT WORKS!
This is why I believe in the healing power of affirmations.
Affirmations are simple, first-person, present- tense, active statements that you repeat to yourself on a regular basis. These statements can remind us that we choose the way we think rather than remaining at the mercy of anxious thoughts. As a result, you create the exact state of mind that you wish to be in and for most of us, that’s a positive, healthy and productive state of mind.
Some of my favorite healing affirmations during Covid19:
I have been through hard times before and have survived.
I accept what I cannot change and do my best with what I can. I believe in my ability to get through tough times.
I will not stress over things I cannot control.
My emotions are valid.
It’s ok that yesterday felt like a hard day.
I appreciate my life and find things to be grateful for.
This is hard, but I can do hard things.
Write down the affirmations mentioned here and put them up all around your home…where you can constantly VISUALLY SEE THEM! This will help remind you that even in times of panic, the feeling is temporary. Make sure your affirmations REALLY speak to you personally, counter your own negative self-talk, and are meaningful.
About The Author

Alison Seponara, MS, LPC is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice located in Lafayette Hill, PA. Alison specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness with women who struggle with anxiety related to a life transition & also works closely helping children with special needs (anxiety, ADHD, & autism). Along with her private practice, Alison has created an amazing social media brand all about how to heal anxiety from the inside out. You can learn all about her own anxiety healing journey and other tips & tricks by following her on Instagram at @theanxietyhealer. Alison also offers online anxiety healing courses which can be found at theanxietyhealingschool.com. Alison’s mission is to help those from around the world feel less alone in their anxiety and offer awareness and education in mental health.

 

7 Things People Who Have Social Anxiety Will Understand

1. Presenting

You think you’re prepared, memorizing what you need to say and even practicing in the mirror, but the moment you get in front of everyone, you mind draws a blank. With all eyes on you, you start sweating, and stuttering, or even just speaking quickly,not knowing what you’re saying. In the end, you feel all embarrassed, that you messed up.

 

2. Making Phone Calls

Having many questions racing through your head during the conversation. “What do I say?” “Will I make a fool of myself?” Texting and emailing is so much easier for you.

 

3. Overthinking…about everything

Overthinking will be the death of you. You think of so many other different ways you could’ve done something, and so many different words you could’ve said, hoping you didn’t screw anything up.

 

4. Always feeling like you are being judged.

From what you’re wearing, to how you’re doing something to even how you’re standing, you think someone is silently judging you.

 

5. Not really having any friends.

You’re too nervous to go up and talk to someone first, because you worry that you’re going to say something that will make them not want to deal with you. Then, once you’re friends with them, you worry that they will leave you once they get to know you.

 

6. You prefer interacting online.

Yes, they’re real people online, but you don’t get to see their facial reaction when you post something, making it somehow easier for you to handle.

 

7. Awkward Silence.

Needing to get out of that situation….fast!

 

 

 

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