Building Stronger Bonds: The Role Of Marriage Counseling In Eugene

Do you and your partner feel distant from one another, face struggle interacting, or are you encountering difficulties in your relationship?

In the pleasant city of Eugene, Oregon, couples frequently have to deal with the challenges of marriage amid the remarkable views of the Willamette Valley.

But what happens when disputes start, conflicts increase, or intimacy grows feeble?

This is where Eugene’s marriage counseling plays an important role. Marriage counseling gives a secure and encouraging environment for couples to work through their problems, strengthen their communication, and work on their relationship.

We’ll discuss the value of marriage counseling in Eugene in this article, putting emphasis on how it builds relationships between spouses and facilitates understanding and healing. Let’s discuss how marriage counseling can make you and your spouse stronger than ever by helping you in navigating the highs and lows of your union.

Understanding the Need for Marriage Counseling

Couples facing the complexities of their relationships can greatly benefit from marriage counseling. In Eugene, couples face many obstacles, as in several other cities, that can weaken their relationship.

Disparities in expectations, unresolved conflicts, communication breakdowns, or external stressors like family dynamics or work pressures can all contribute to these problems. Couples might become more tense, resentful, and distant from each other if these problems are not resolved.

In order to discuss problems, vent emotions, and find a resolution, marriage counseling eugene provides partners with a supportive and non-judgmental environment.

Role of Marriage Counseling

Eugene marriage counseling offers a range of advantages to couples who are seeking to strengthen their relationship and combat their problems. Here, we will explore the role of marriage counseling in helping people have healthy and happy relationships in the energetic city of Eugene.

1. Facilitating Communication

Marital counseling in Eugene provides a forum for a couple to discuss their thoughts, concerns, and essential requirements. Experts facilitate constructive dialogue by assisting partners in expressing their emotions in a useful manner.

They establish a space for sympathetic listening, which in turn sets the stage for the partners to value one another’s viewpoints. Many couples find that by going through the process, they are able to communicate more honestly and openly, which finally results in a level of understanding and connection.

2. Providing Conflict Resolution Strategies

Marriage counselors equip partners with skills and techniques that transform conflict and the way couples address issues. They uncover the root causes of the conflicts and guide the couples with negotiation skills; thus, the disputes can be resolved amicably & with dignity.

By providing navigation and support, counselors teach couples how to solve problems in such a way that improves their communication and deepens their bond.

3. Promoting Emotional Connection

The counselors help couples become more emotionally connected and, eventually, deepen their emotional relationship by teaching them to be vulnerable and respectful of one another’s feelings.

Consequently, the in-depth training exercises and dialogues promote intimacy and mutual confidence by making couples more aware of each other’s feelings and shared experiences.

4. Offering Support During Transitions

Marriage counseling offers a supportive setting where couples can appropriately discuss all of the significant life difficulties associated with becoming parents, changing careers, or relocating. Counselors assist couples in maintaining their close bond while learning how to work together and take on new responsibilities.

Counselors assist couples in expressing their needs and problems in a healthy way during these changes, which helps them grow stronger and closer together.

5. Addressing Individual and Relationship Needs

In order to identify individual needs and relationship goals and to create therapies that target particular problems, the counselors engage with couples.

Counseling contributes to a stronger foundation for the relationship by assisting in the identification of the underlying issues and encouraging personal development. Couples that use these techniques can resolve conflicts amicably, foster a deeper level of comprehension, and value their union.

6. Facilitating Healing and Forgiveness

A powerful tool for mending the wounds of the past and providing an opportunity for forgetting and making up is marriage counseling. The role of couples counselors is to help couples journey through feelings connected with past incidents by assisting them in recognizing and working through these feelings.

This therapeutic journey enables couples to move ahead with renewed confidence and commitment, eliminating all past unmanaged baggage.

7. Supporting Decision-Making

When it comes to supporting couples who have to make tough decisions about whether to stay in their relationship or end it, marriage counseling is quite important. The counselors listen to both sides without bias and assist partners in choices that align with their values and goals.

During a structured conversation and getting to know each party more, counseling creates a peaceful ground for couples to express their concerns, doubts, and fears. Under the guidance of a counselor, partners will have clarity in their options and what each decision could mean.

Conclusion

Marriage counseling in Eugene is a vital resource for couples seeking to build stronger bonds and navigate the complexities of their relationships. Through facilitating communication and providing conflict resolution strategies, marriage counselors empower couples to address challenges.

Additionally, by promoting emotional connection, counselors help couples cultivate deeper intimacy and trust. Ultimately, marriage counseling is pivotal in guiding couples toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships and fostering a sense of unity, understanding, and mutual support.

Marriage counseling serves as a beacon of hope in the vibrant city of Eugene, offering couples the tools and support they need to embark on a journey of growth, connection, and lasting love.

 

 

An Honest Reflection Of My First Year Of Marriage

Virtually everyone is online, and we can sometimes forget that we are real people in real relationships with real issues. Everyone shares their highlight reel, and comparison is the thief of joy. So I want to share our real experience, not just our highlight reel.

While married for only one, my husband and I have been together for seven years. Some people say that nothing changes when you get married, or that marriage is just a piece of paper. In our experience, it is more than that. Marriage does bring change. As soon as our ceremony came to an end, things changed. We both felt this shift, and we talked about it in the following days. It was a subtle shift, but it made a significant impact. We basked in the glow of our post-wedding bliss. It feels like walking on air at first, like there is a visible aura around both of you, and you swear everyone else can see it, too.

Life together is both extraordinary and mundane. You can be your weird, messy selves with each other that no one else ever gets to see. You know you are safe with this person. You didn’t think you could love your person more than you already do, but then they do something that reminds you exactly why you chose to spend forever with them, and you are inundated with the feelings of love all over again.

But it’s not all sunshine and meadows full of roses. Real-life is never so easy.

Some say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. For us, it was no cakewalk. There may be more discord this first year. But you endure. You learn how to work with each other instead of against each other.

During the course of the first several months, you ease into a new normal. There is a sense of permanence. The word ‘forever’ floats around in your mind, and sometimes the weight of it scares you. You realize you married this person— as they are, imperfections included. During heated moments, the word ‘Divorce‘ floats around in your head like a loaded gun. One thing I made my husband promise me prior to getting married was that neither of us would ever threaten divorce. Well, three months later, I was actually the first person to break that promise. In the first six months, we both threatened divorce multiple times. Which wasn’t healthy, but we are human.

You both trigger each other, and this is normal.

Your spouse can trigger traumas that you thought you had dealt with. Maybe they even trigger trauma you didn’t even know you had. Your spouse is the one person capable of triggering you in a way that no one else can.

At first, you may not even understand or recognize your triggers. When triggered, you both resort back to old patterns. You do what you learned to do a long time ago in order to cope and what you had learned back then is not always necessarily healthy. In those moments, self-preservation is paramount, and right now, you don’t know any other way. For some—like my husband—this can be shutting down. And for others—like me—it can be an all-encompassing wave of emotion that just pours out, drowning out all logic and reasoning. And when you bring these two people together, it can be cataclysmic.

Eventually, you are able to identify your triggers and catch yourself when you are about to react instead of respond. You come to understand why you both are the way you are and why you think the way you do. You understand that you come from different backgrounds and different families. And you can then finally meet in a place of mutual understanding and make each other feel heard and validated, leading to true intimacy.

None of this is done effortlessly, though. It is hard work to heal old wounds from your past and change patterns that have been ingrained in your families for copious generations.

But you want to break the cycle, so you can be the best you can be for each other.

Perhaps all of this is common sense for some people. Perhaps for others, it is something to be learned. And that’s okay. We had to learn this. And sometimes, those of us that did not grow up with healthy communication/attachment styles and struggle with trauma and mental illness may need help. All of the progress we have made has been possible for us through Marriage Counseling.

Therapy does not have to be scary, and even the couples who appear to have it all together can benefit from it. We are now able to effectively communicate about hard things outside of counseling and continue to make each other feel validated. We don’t make ultimatums or threaten our marriage. This doesn’t mean that we don’t still become frustrated with each other sometimes or trigger each other. The difficulties are now far easier to navigate.

We are in a much better place now than we were when we started counseling seven months ago, but we still go to counseling, and we don’t see ourselves stopping any time soon. We both enjoy it, and we both get so much out of our sessions. We sometimes go in with a plan of what we would like to discuss and then end up going a different route entirely. I actually love when that happens.

Pro Tip: Marriage Counseling/Couples Therapy is covered by insurance if it is billed as individual counseling, and there are therapists out there willing to do that.

This year has laid the foundation for the rest of our marriage. We are both endlessly grateful for this first year of marriage and everything we have learned about ourselves and about each other. Our marriage is far from perfect, but it is real. I love my husband more than I ever have, and I know he feels the same.

 

8 Tips to Keep the Quarantine from Ruining your Marriage

How is your marriage holding up against the COVID-19 pandemic?

 

In March, things were happening fast. There were lockdowns, closures, and new cases every day.

 

But you were okay because you knew that you were going to go through the quarantine phase.

 

At first, you probably liked having your spouse at home! Sure, that financial stress loomed in the air, but you got to spend fourteen uninterrupted days with your sweetheart, cuddling and obsessing over Tiger King.

 

But soon, March turned into the longest month in the world. Then April came around, and we were all in shock that life was still so different. 

 

Suddenly, those cute morning cuddles with your partner turned into laying in bed, playing on your phones, and not showering for days on end.

 

Now that May has rolled around, and we’re all still home together with no signs of escape, it can be difficult not to take our stress out on our partner.

 

So how can a marriage survive in quarantine? Keep reading for eight tips on how to strengthen your relationship while under lockdown.

 

1. Allow yourself to grieve

Did you and your spouse have big plans for 2020?

 

Maybe you wanted to start a family, travel to a bunch of new places, or had tickets or plans for some great events.

 

You may feel like it’s a “first world problem” to be upset over such things, but just know that it’s okay to grieve the experiences that you’ve lost with your partner.

 

If you don’t take the time to grieve these losses, you may start to bottle up your emotions. This is bad because it could cause you to take your resentment for current world conditions out on your partner.

 

2. Stick to your daily routine

What was your routine like before all of this madness started?

It may have looked a little something like this:

·       Wake up

·       Work out

·       Shower

·       Eat breakfast

·       Go to work

·       Have lunch

·       Work

·       Come home and eat dinner

·       Spend time with your spouse

·       Go to bed

 

This structure helped you stay balanced then – and it still can!

 

Perhaps you have the ability to work from home during quarantine? 

 

If so, get up and go about your business as usual, then find a quiet space away from your spouse to work.

 

If you aren’t working, find something else to occupy you during your regular work hours, such as writing or working on some other project.

 

Modify your routine to suit the current situation. This will help you feel organized and bring some semblance of ‘normal’ back into your life.

 

This I Vow To You

Cody, 

I vow that my love will always remain unconditional. I can make this promise because it is my love for you is already unconditional. You are the person that I never knew that I needed in my life to make it whole. Seeing you happy makes me happy. I work so hard to make sure that smile stays right there on your face.  That also means being your number one fan in life.

 

Yes, I will listen to you. I will give you my opinion but in the end there will be decisions that you have to make on your own. Just know whatever it is and where ever it takes us I am here always and forever. You are my best friend, my soul-mate, my safe place. I know that I cannot do this life without you. So I promise with everything that I have that my love will always be unconditional. 

 

I vow that I will be crazy sometimes.

This is going to cause arguments, but in the end I promise that I will wrap my arms around you and tell you I love you. I know that you are going to ask why it matters to fold the towels a certain way or why we have to have the bed made but we just do. I am going to drive you crazy with my need to control things. I am going to need things to be a certain way sometimes. It is just who I am. I am sorry in advance for any stupid argument we et into because of this. You are getting me all of me. My advice for dealing with me in this way is walk away go fix something. Just know that I love you, but I vow to be crazy sometimes. 

 

5 Bridal Box Choices for the Smart Bride

Box Choices for the Smart Bride

While planning our wedding, we received a bridal box from a colleague that helped to make the process fun and seamless. Before that, we never knew that there was anything like a bridal subscription box that contains items to help brides. We are talking about designer robes, planners, beauty essentials, checklists, and other goodies.

So, paying it forward, we feel that intending brides deserve a wedding subscription box for their nuptial planning. There are many great budget conscious bride gift box options. Here are five of our favorite bridal box subscriptions.

 

1. Miss To Mrs 

Miss to Mrs. Box takes the number one spot for good reasons. It’s committed and follows you every step of the way from when you say yes, to the honeymoon. This brand has 9 brides to be subscription box types with different themes to suit every wedding planning stage. It has boxes such as “let’s plan this”, “wedding day essentials”, ” ultimate bridal swag”, “honeymooners” and more.

These boxes contain, spa essentials, necklaces, hairpins, exclusive bridal robes, vow books, planners, checklists, party essentials, wedding planning tools, etc. The bride to be box subscriptions ranges from $35 with items valued at over $100. Miss to Mrs curates the items with care so that they are useful and a fit for the brides.

 

Brides to be will receive their boxes monthly, bimonthly, and even quarterly depending on the time left before their wedding. If there’s little time left, brides can make a one-time subscription of $45 to get selected and relevant boxes.

 

A lot of brides rave about this brand that takes care of the bride from engagement till honeymoon. What’s more? It caters to Mrs and Mrs brides. So if you’re a lesbian couple looking for a bride subscription box that has you at heart, this one’s for you too.

2. The Sill

Do you have a green thumb? Are you a plant lover or you want to start planting? Try out The Sill. You never know how much joy that planning gives until wedding planning almost drives you crazy. 

The Sill offers every green loving bride potted plants to tend as a way to take a break from planning. Who knows? You could get exciting wedding inspirations while planting. The bridal box cost around $35. And each potted plant comes with instruction manuals to help. 

3. Laurel & Reed

Are you crazy about great skin, but you’re partial to eco-friendly cosmetics? Then check out the Lauren & Reed wedding box. It contains over three cruelty-free, eco-friendly and non-toxic items to help you with your skincare. Because you should dazzle on your wedding day! And this brand gives you clean, and effective cosmetics for just $45.95.

4. The Bride Box

The Bride Box is a bride box that offers vital wedding essentials to brides for their wedding. And at $35, each box comes with useful tips for wedding planning.

 

5. Happily Ever After

At $70, Happily Ever After is a wedding to engagement box that gives brides the opportunity to do luxury planning. This brand allows brides to pick from any of the curated boxes that appeal to them. Brides can also build a custom BOXFOX with items that they really need. 

From the moment you said yes, your planning began. But to plan effectively, you need a bridal box. So check out the above listed bridal box ideas, make your pick and have fun!

7 Reasons Why I’ll Always, Unapologetically, Choose My Career Over A Man

Career

I’ve always been a hard worker throughout my entire life. Ever since I was a freshman in high school, I’ve had at least one job. Fast forward to college, I was interning in New York City three days a week, attending college full-time and waitressing at two restaurants to pay tuition and ensure I could graduate with a degree in the fields I was most passionate about. Long story short – I’ve always been a go-getter, someone who puts her work first and never, ever takes a handout. I started out interning at small, start-up companies in journalism and, worked my way up through several companies to be in a position I used to only dream about.

 

At the end of the day, my work and my passions will always come first. It’s one of the things I value most about myself – my work ethic. While it’s been the reason I’ve always succeeded in life, it’s also the reason I’ve had trouble in relationships. Throughout my life, every guy I’ve ever dated has had a “problem” with the amount of work I do. I never work one job, I’m always working over 40 hours a week and I usually make more money than my partner. Whatever the reason is, men have always given me sh*t for the way in which I choose to spend my time and conduct my life.

 

7 Ways To Tell You’ve Finally Found That ‘Forever’ Kind Of Love

When we fall in love with someone, we always want them to be the “end all, be all” of our life. We don’t want to think about every playing the field again, we never want to think about the “dating scene” again–we just want this to be the “forever” kind of love. How do you know, though? How are you able to realize that the person you are with is the person you should be with forever? It’s hard to say. Everyone’s life is incredibly different (in many ways), but there are some universal feelings, lessons, and realizations that you can have while falling in love that makes you stop and realize–”wow, I can truly see myself spending the rest of my life with this person.”

 

1. You completely trust them, with no strings attached.

When you fall in love with someone, you’re allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open to someone. We’re allowing ourselves to risk being hurt, heartbroken, and devastated if things don’t go as planned. We’re essentially putting our emotional wellbeing and souls into another person’s hands. That’s truly an action that requires the utmost trust and value. If you’re unsure whether or not you can trust your partner, there’s no reason to even picture a future together. You should feel comfortable and at ease when it comes to your life together.

You should never wonder what they’re doing when they’re out if they’re talking to someone else, if they’re texting someone they shouldn’t be. If you ever feel the inclination you should go through their phone, texts, emails, social media–you’re not with the person you deserve to be with. The person you are meant to be with will never, ever give you a reason not to trust them. They will always be honest with you, open with you, and give you every single solitary reason to trust them. If you are uneasy about your love now, think about feeling this way as you get older–with kids involved. You should never live your life on the edge with someone.

 

You Should Never Ask Outside People For Relationship Advice

When it comes to relationships, people always think they know best. Whenever you’re having problems with your significant other, people think they know what is better for your relationship than you do for yourself – they all think they’re Dr. Phil and have a Ph.D. in romance.

The truth is, everyone experiences love differently. Love is an emotion, it’s not something as cut and dry as having a common cold. Someone can experience love and it makes them feel something – and, another person can feel completely different when they’re in love. It’s not a universal feeling, it’s not something everyone experiences the same – therefore, it’s not something everyone can give you the answers about.

From Dating To Engaged: How To Handle The Transition

The shift begins from ‘just dating’ to a ‘serious relationship’. You both realize that you’re ready to be engaged. You both have found the person you’ve been waiting to spend your life with. Now what? It is time to transition from dating to engaged. 

How Do You Know You Are Ready To Be Engaged?

You know you are ready for engagement because your relationship is strong and has a future. Engagement is a big commitment and not one that either of you should take lightly. There is going to be a big shift in the relationship. Here are some ways you can both better prepare for that transition.

Communication Is Key

One of the best indicators you are ready is that communication comes easily. Both parties are heard, and you can openly talk to each other. You both know that expressing your feelings and thoughts is ok and you will be understood. You have the ability to communicate and feel secure with your partner. Lack of communication is one of the top reasons for divorce. The ability to discuss things easily is a good foundation for marriage.

Sharing Similar Core Beliefs

You two share similar core beliefs and value systems. Which is a strong indicator that you will be more compatible in a long-term relationship. This is especially important if you are planning on having children together. 

Your Finances Are Stable

In addition to communication, finances are probably one of the biggest issues within marriages today. When you both have steady jobs or good sources of income, this is likely not a problem. If you are struggling financially this will have a bigger impact on you as a couple. Take some time and do your research on ways to save money so that it doesn’t put a damper on your future together. 

Both Of You Are Not Looking Elsewhere

If you are at this point in your relationship then it is definitely a sign that engagement is on the way. You are committed to each other and you truly love your significant other for who they are. You should bring out the best in each other, and enjoy all of the moments together. 

Dealing With Pressure As A Couple

On the flip side, disagreements will usually weigh more heavily on the both of you at this time. Because the transition to engagement is coming, there is more pressure for getting along all the time, and it can truly seem like the worst thing when you have a fight. It creates panic and then those “what ifs” start creeping into your head.  Pay attention to how you both get through those times. If you’re able to talk things out and makeup quickly, then there should be nothing to worry about. Every relationship will have its ups and downs, so things aren’t always going to be great between the two of you. 

Navigating The Change In The Status Of Your Relationship

Now that you feel your life is fulfilled and that you are ready to call him or her “fiancé” you’re onto the next steps. The steps are long from dating to engaged. Be prepared to acknowledge the fact that even though things may not change on the surface, there will be a big shift in the relationship, and some things are going to change. Instead of making the plans right away, there are a couple of things that happen during this transition:

  • OTHER PEOPLE WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY AND TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY. This is because now you’re declaring your commitment to the world and people see you’re not just ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’, and they may invest more of their time in you.
  • YOU WILL GET FLOODED WITH ADVICE.  From everything from who you should use to cater your wedding to the wedding music  to who you should play or the band you should hire, everyone is going to want to have their say about your wedding and what you should do. This is especially true for couples who are already married because they feel they can give you the best advice since they did it. Be prepared to take note of the advice you get, but not necessarily take it all to heart. Remember, this is your big moment of engagement, and your wedding to plan together. 

If you can get through the transition, you’re doing great. Becoming engaged is a truly magical moment, and the excitement can fade very quickly once the stress of the engagement and wedding plans start to arise. So take deep breaths and just work through one thing at a time.  

Remember Time For Yourself

Practicing self-care is still important even when you’re half of a couple or a fiancé. You should be okay with taking your time away from each other to do things, like engaging in hobbies or spending time with other friends or family. Engagement should not be entered into as a way to fix any sort of relationship problems. You should feel both secure and comfortable when you’re together and when you are apart. 

You should work with each other as a team, but you can also take care of things separately, focusing on your strengths to get things done more efficiently. This can particularly help when you start your wedding plans together. If you’re better at putting the invitations together and your partner can handle discussions with the caterer, then split up the tasks as such. 

Enjoy The Moment

Lastly, be sure to really enjoy the transition from a serious relationship to engagement. Since it is short-lived, you want to try and ride that wave before settling into the chaos of planning. As one of the biggest and most important events in your life, it should be an incredible moment when you or your significant other proposes. There’s no room for stress or freaking out. You’re comfortable and happy, and ready to take on the world together. Enjoy the ride from dating to engaged.

Celebrate Your Wedding Anniversary In Style

Whether married for 365 or 18,250 days, your wedding anniversary is the perfect time to focus on appreciating each other and reaffirming your love for one another. To celebrate your special day, you can choose to celebrate in a way that acknowledges how far you have come as well as looking ahead to the future in gratitude for all that you have and all that you have worked for. Here are the most effective ways to celebrate your wedding anniversary in style:

Gifts

If you are struggling for stylish gift ideas, get some ideas by looking at all wedding anniversaries listed by year and you are sure to come up with an idea of traditional and even more modern gifts for. If nothing else, it will give you some inspiration to think of the perfect gift on your own. The traditional gifts based on number of years married are really great when you can add a creative flare. For example, the traditional fifth-anniversary gift is wood (the modern gift is silverware), which could be a picture frame in wood or chrome or maybe an immersive wilderness (wooded) dining experience. A tenth-anniversary gift of tin could be the gift of a keepsake box or a helicopter flying course.

A meal for two

Celebrating your wedding anniversary in style means breaking from normal routines.  Go out for a meal at a fine restaurant or for afternoon tea at a top-rate hotel. The venue is not as important as the fact that you are spending time together. Have your friends or parents take care of your children, so you have a couple of hours to yourself. Commit to having a relaxed evening without talk of children, challenges at work, finances, or other concerns of daily living.

Catered party at home

If you want to host a dinner party at home for those close to you but fear burning the dishes, forgetting to put the wine in the fridge and having a mountain of dishes to clean afterward, why not book a chef to take care of all the catering so that you can do what you do best, relax with those you love with the sure knowledge that the food will be restaurant quality and the kitchen will be spotless at the end of the evening. Have an appropriate wedding anniversary gift as a centerpiece to the table, for an extra special touch, like a pair of tapered candlesticks with a love knot or a single red rose in full bloom.

Experiential celebrations

While every anniversary should include a gift, celebrations can continue into your next year together.  A subscription to a magazine on a topic that interests you both, or a subscription to a delivery service that ensures that each fortnight, month or quarter you receive flowers, a dozen bottles of craft beer or a crate of wine.

This can also be a great time to reignite old interests, to see your favorite team play at their home ground, watch your favorite band play or take up an evening class together, whether you learn astrophysics or salsa dancing, you are creating time together as a couple.

Charitable giving

As well as celebrating your anniversary with a gift, many people are beginning to share their good fortune with those less fortunate. If there is a cause that you are both passionate about, donate to that cause. Donate to an animal rescue or any of the charities helping homeless veterans, researching cancer or other disease care and cures, charities fighting for human rights and much more. Making a gift to a cause that matters in your joint names is a special way to share love more widely than just between the two of you. Sometimes it really is nicer to give than to receive.

Featured Photo by Hisu lee on Unsplash
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