This Is What Social Anxiety Actually Is, Because It’s Not Just Being Quiet At Parties

Understanding Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is far more than just being the “quiet one” at the party — the person who would rather socialize with the host’s dog than be the “social butterfly.” It’s all-consuming, chipping away at your confidence far before you’ve arrived at the party and long after you’ve left the drunken affair and settled in for the night.

 

Analyzing

It’s constantly analyzing your every word. And every action and every movement. And falsely believing that you are a collection of flaws, mistakes and ineptitude — and that your perceived shortcomings are all the world sees.

 

Fearing

It’s fearing that you are unlovable, that all of your friends secretly hate you no matter how fervently they convince you otherwise and that your partner stays with you not out of love, but rather to save his image as a faithful lover.

 

Frozen

It’s standing frozen in front of the phone, your heart racing as your mind battles itself. And it’s wishing that you could simply make that call without rehearsing your responses and fearing the impression you will make on the person on the other end of the line, convincing yourself to dial,and then hanging up before the dial tone sounds.

 

8 Small Ways To Combat Anxiety When It’s At Its Worst

When I first experienced anxiety in high school, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Why was I always so sad? Why did my heart beat so fast? Why was I worrying all the time and why couldn’t I breathe? When I was able to put a label on it, go to therapy and figure out how to deal with it, it was so much easier to handle my issues. Even though I have come to terms with how to handle my anxiety, for someone who is just experiencing anxiety for the first time (and there’s definitely a lot of people who don’t know how to handle it), it can be a very jarring experience.  Something that was really difficult for me to deal with when my anxiety attacks were getting worse, was how to deal with the anxiety in a public place. I knew how to handle myself when I was home, in my own space but when I started having anxiety attacks in public: in class, in the bar, at work… it was a real problem. But, I’ve learned there are ways to handle anxiety in situations that are always going to help – especially when panic attacks strike.

 

1. Remove yourself from any situation that triggers you.

When you feel an anxiety attack coming on, the first thing you should do is remove yourself from whatever situation you’re in. Clearly, what you’re doing or where you are is what therapists call “a trigger.” Whether that’s at the office, out with friends, or at a party, just get out of where you are. Your anxiety could be made worse by the crowd surrounding you or the situation you’re in so it’s best to step aside. Once you feel as though you’re in a safer environment, your mood and anxiety will shift.

 

2. Try the 4-2-4 breathing method.

The best breathing exercise for anxiety is four in, hold two, four out; inhale for four seconds and hold it in for 2 seconds, then exhale for four seconds. Once you have the rhythm going, you’ll feel much better and be able to think a little more clearly. Focus on your breathing and how your body feels. Even focus on your stomach as the air goes in and out. Getting your mind off of whatever is worrying you and focusing in on something will be helpful.

Scientists Say Cuddling Can Actually Help People Who Suffer From Depression

Need A Hug?

We all know someone who suffers from some form of depression. Cuddling can help people. According to the World Health Organization, over 350 million people suffer from depression worldwide–which means, we most likely know more than one person in our lives that suffer from the mental health disorder. When we see our loved ones suffering and having a hard time, the first thing we think is simple: how can we help? There are so many times when we wish we could just issue a “quick fix” and make all of their problems and issues disappear–but, we know deep down, that’s impossible.

Cuddle Combats Depression

There are, however, some ways in which we can help our loved ones from time to time. Even if just for a short period. According to some studies scientists have conducted, if you’re in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression, you can easily ease their troubles by doing one simple act: cuddling.

Let’s face it, everyone loves to cuddle with their partner. It makes us feel close, loved, and protected. I know for a simple fact there’s nothing better than cuddling with my boyfriend after a long, stressful day. It turns out, there’s a scientific reason we’re all just big cuddle bugs in the bedroom.

 

Ariana Grande Just Responded To Pete Davidson’s Note About Being Bullied And Feeling Suicidal

As many know who follow celebrity news and entertainment, Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande called off their short engagement/relationship a few months ago—and, since then, Grande has been acting pretty brand new. With a number one single, “Thank U, Next,” and a bunch of “female empowerment” movements, many feel as though Grande is better off without Davidson.

But, if you know anything about fan circles to artists, you’d know that they can be very aggressive when people come for their “queen.” Ariana fans have been mighty angry at Davidson for a number of reasons—even while they were engaged. Stans of the pop singer didn’t like Davidson’s comedy style, making fun of Grande’s traumatic incident with terrorism in Manchester last year, and, numerous other inappropriate jokes. But, after the two parted ways, many assumed that Davidson had done Grande wrong in some type of way.

In response, many people on social media began to attack Davidson from behind a keyboard. Davidson, who has been open about his struggle with his own mental health, had enough and issued a serious statement to all people online about his mental state and that he will not let the trolls get to him.

Many people began to support Davidson because wishing death on someone who is suicidal is honestly cold and heartless. The relationship was between the two of them, not the two of them and millions of young girls on the Internet. Grande, of course, supports Davidson 100% and has since responded to his honest statement online on her own Instagram.

The singer said to her fans that she needs them to be “gentler” with others. She stated that she cares deeply about Pete and his mental health, and stated she will always love him no matter what—and if they’ve gotten a different impression from her recent work, they are mistaken. She also said that they need to drop the “bully” act and let it all go.

Instagram

And, many online agreed.

10 Things I Wish People Understood About My Depression

Depression is something that millions of people face every day of their lives. It’s way more common than many realize, yet, the stigma surrounding it is unreal. I personally have depression, and I have been vocal about my diagnosis for years now because I refuse to let something so serious get hidden under stigmas and invalidation. Even though I don’t hide the fact that I have depression, there are so many things that people don’t know about my illness or how I handle it. Here are some things I wish more people understood about depression, because I know I’m not alone in my battle with depression, and I know that nobody else will this illness is alone either.

10. My depression turns me into somebody I’m not.

Depression is really manipulative. It can, and it does turn me into a person that I don’ t know, and that I don’t like. It makes me impulsive and careless, and it makes me numb and empty, and I am none of those things. When I’m going through a hard bat with my depression, I wish people understood I’m just as uncomfortable with the way I am acting as they are. I’m unhappy with my demeanor and I’m unhappy with the way I react and make other people feel. But, I try to the best of my ability to work on it.

9. My depression is just that – it doesn’t define who I am.

Being depressed isn’t a title. It’s a diagnosis, and that’s it. I will not let my diagnosis dictate how I see myself or how I let others see me. I won’t let my diagnosis stop me from accomplishing the things that I’ve dreamed of accomplishing. It’s not something that I necessarily ‘suffer’ from 24/7, it’s just something that I have, and something that I manage. While some days are hard, others are even harder. But, I won’t let it control me, I won’t let it be the boss of my life.

8. I need you to be patient with me.

I’m going to be honest, managing a mental illness is hard. It’s even harder when you’re trying to figure it all out along the way. Nobody is born with a manual on how to deal with being mentally ill, and having to deal with one and learn about it at the same time means that I’ll make mistakes, and I’ll get frustrated with myself and everybody trying to help me. I’m sorry, and I need you to be patient with me. I can’t do this alone.

7. Therapy and medication might not always work, and that’s normal.

The first time I went through this, I thought the idea of getting better was completely useless. I learned soon after that this is normal, and that I’m going to have to try every single form of therapy and multiple medications until one really works for me. I’ve been trying to manage my depression for about five years now, and I’m just starting to learn what helps and what doesn’t.

6. Depression is terrifying.

I’m scared of my depression, and I’m scared of who my depression turns me into. I know that my depression scares those close to me, but trust me, it scares me the most. Turning into somebody who you don’t know and don’t like and letting doctors probe into your life and prescribe you different pills that they don’t even know will work is terrifying. It’s scary, but it’s a process, and I know that it won’t always be this scary.

5. Just because I have depression doesn’t mean that I won’t be genuinely happy on some days.

This was something that surprisingly took me a while to realize. While being mentally ill involves a lot of sad and anxious days, there are also a lot of really happy days. Sometimes I find myself being really, genuinely happy for no reason and those are the best days. They happen, and I hold onto those days with everything I have.

4. Recovery is non-linear.

There will be good days and there will be bad days. I’ll take two steps forward and four steps back, and it happens a lot. It’s normal. Managing depression is a constant battle between moving forward and getting pulled back and people don’t realize that. Just because I was doing really well last week doesn’t mean that I’m doing really well today. Everything happens one day at a time, and that’s what more people need to understand.

3. My depression is not your fault.

It is a flaw in chemistry, and it is not your fault. I don’t want people to blame themselves for my depression because they think that they did something to trigger it or make it worse. It took me forever to stop blaming myself over it, but I’ve realized that a brain chemical imbalance is to blame, not a person.

2. Depression isn’t just sadness.

Depression is a mix of every type of emotion known to humankind in the worst way. It’s getting angry over nothing and laughing when you’re supposed to cry. It’s a lack of tears and weak knees and not being able to get out of bed for a few days. It doesn’t make sense, but I’ve had to get used to it, and now it’s my life, but that’s okay.

1. I want to stay alive.

Regardless of what I might say on a bad day, I want to stay alive. I have so many things I want to do and to create before I die and I don’t want to cut that short, ever. Being mentally ill can smother any motivation to do everyday tasks and sometimes, even to live, but don’t take that seriously, and know that it’ll pass.

And When Her Anxiety Swallows Her Whole, This Is What She’ll Say

Screw you anxiety.

I absolutely hate you.

I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the control you continuously exert over me. I hate that I don’t know what causes you to spontaneously appear and hit me where it hurts.

I hate that I can’t be rid of you.

But I won’t let you destroy me.

Even on my most awful of days, when I’m my most vulnerable, I’ll still be ready to fight you.

I’d say give me your worst, but you already do.

I’ve been a victim of your torment for way too long. I won’t succumb to it anymore.

When my throat closes up, my mind floods with worry, and my knuckles turn white from clenching my fists so hard, I won’t falter.

I won’t back down, I won’t retreat. No white flags here.

This has always been Me vs. You. And I will come out on top.

Because you know what? I’m still standing. 

You’ve torn me down, ripped the floor out from under me, and paralyzed me.

But I made it through everything.

I’m stronger every day because of it. One day, I’ll kick your ass completely, I swear it.

And until I do, screw you.

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