Why and how distressing world events like war and the pandemic impact women’s anxiety, and what we can do to help relieve the unseen burdens of mental load.
Women experience higher lifetime diagnosis rates of all anxiety disorders, including Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Panic Disorder, and Agoraphobia. Women who have been diagnosed with one anxiety disorder are more likely than men to be diagnosed with an additional anxiety disorder and have comorbid conditions, such as bulimia nervosa or a major depressive disorder. Add distressing world events, like the pandemic, or the current war in Ukraine, into the mix, and women’s anxiety levels soar. To better understand why and how women’s anxieties spike during distressing times, it is important to understand the dynamics of the invisible — and often unacknowledged —and unequal burden carry called mental load.
The Unequal Burden We See
A great deal has been written about how unequal a burden is shouldered by women, like childcare, household tasks, primary care responsibilities for aging parents, and other life-maintenance tasks. During the pandemic, when, for many, the home front expanded to become both a workplace and a classroom, women also took on more responsibility for their children’s education. These are just the unequal burdens we see — in other words, tasks and responsibilities that play out day after day —which are quantifiable and impossible to ignore. Many women reported that their partners began taking on more of the often mundane tasks involved in running a household.
But when it comes to the unseen, unequal and impossible to quantify burden of mental load, and how distressing world events cause women’s anxiety levels to soar, there seems to be no relief in sight.
The Invisible Mental Load
Depending on the personal dynamics of individual households, a fairer division of burdensome daily tasks and chores may pose challenges, but physical tasks can be assigned, off-loaded, and, of course, voluntarily assumed by family members. But mental load is a whole different story.
Mental load refers to executive functioning involved in short-term and long-term, planning, strategizing, factoring in the wellbeing of family members, keeping watch over everyone’s needs in mind, juggling scheduling, logistics, and anticipating potential problems and challenges. This invisible work —unequally taken on by women — is ever-present and relentless. And mental load — unlike physical tasks and responsibilities — knows no boundaries and can show up anytime, including when trying to fall asleep at the end of a long day, when we are socializing or trying to relax, even when in the throes of traditional self-care routines.
During Distressing Times
In the midst of distressing world events, such as the war in Ukraine, and the ongoing global pandemic, many people can become over-exposed to bad news, upsetting images, and dire predictions of catastrophic outcomes. For women — especially women already struggling with high levels of anxiety — the added distress of such events can add exponential worrying and rumination over virtually anything, from the impact of bad news or illness on family members’ physical and/or mental health to possible catastrophic and life-threatening outcomes of war.
Relieving Mental Load
When it comes to reliving the mental load during distressing times, paying close attention to self-care, and bringing in strategies like limiting exposure to news, relying on trusted sources for information on current events, and disengaging for brief periods of time when feeling overwhelmed can certainly help. But mental load can derail the mental break of virtually any activity, from a physical work-out, a bubble bath, or social time. When it comes to relieving mental load, lowering anxiety, and taking care of our mental health —especially when we are in the throes of distressing world events and dealing with tragic and upsetting news — it’s all about calming and quieting the mind.
Here are five mind-quieting strategies to help lighten the mental load:
• Breathe deeply.
Deep breathing is the fastest way we can connect with ourselves, lower a racing heart rate and still racing thoughts. No matter where you are, you can calm yourself and quiet your mind by breathing deeply. As you breathe deeply, thoughts and concerns will enter and pass through your mind. Notice that they come and go, as you reconnect with yourself.
• Connect with your senses, one at a time.
Go out into nature, and tune in to a sound, like a breeze rustling through the leaves. Notice the movement of a cloud in the sky, or reach out, touch, and feel the texture or coolness of a surface. Connecting and engaging with your senses one at a time can take you out of your head, and into the moment.
• Do something you enjoy.
This doesn’t have to be anything monumental or time-consuming. Eat an apple, listen to your favorite song, watch an episode of your favorite TV show. Immersing yourself in something that transports you away from your concerns, even temporarily, will help relieve anxiety and stress.
• Challenge negative ruminations.
Imagining worst-case scenarios may be unavoidable during troubled times, but we can start to our imagined catastrophic outcomes. Of course, anything is possible, but how probably is that bleak imagined outcome? Challenging ruminating negative thoughts can help keep them in perspective and restore a sense of control in our lives.
• Start a worry-log routine.
At the end of your day, write down your list of worries and concerns. Then put that list away — and to rest — for the day. It will be there waiting for you in the morning in the unlikely event that you should need it for reference.
About The Author
by Dr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych., Clinical Psychologist
One of Canada’s highest-rated clinical psychologists, Dr. Monica Vermani is a public speaker, teacher, and author in the field of mental health and wellness. In her private practice, Dr. Vermani provides a multi-faceted treatment approach in treating adolescents and adults suffering from trauma/abuse, mood, anxiety, substance addictions, and other related conditions and disorders, as well as family and couples therapy. She employs a dynamic range of techniques and evidence-based treatment modalities, including psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, (CBT), Mindfulness Meditation, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprogramming (EMDR). Dr. Vermani believes that good mental health doesn’t just happen, that it deserves the same time, attention, understanding, and effort as our physical wellbeing. To that end, Dr. Vermani’s latest book, A Deeper Wellness, and its companion online A Deeper Wellness Life Lessons mental health program provide the tools to create a deep, authentic sense of wellness and wellbeing.