milestones Archives - Pucker Mob

I’m penning this in spite of the party poopers that feel like after 21, there are no more milestones to look forward to (other than getting old).

Today, in this body, I’ve been witness to so many milestones – both visible and invisible (like, for instance, getting my ears pierced for the first time a few weeks ago!). Looking back, I realize I spent so much time looking forward to society’s markers of adulthood, and now it feels as though I’ve largely arrived.

In a way, like if life were a video game, I do feel a sense of accomplishment in realizing I have gotten to this level and somehow managed to stay alive.

Still, the fervor with which I yearned to reach many of these milestones seems largely displaced. I would surely tell my younger self that driving honestly isn’t that fun, college graduation will most definitely be online, and tequila is the devil. In true Aquarius fashion, I’ve identified my act of defiance: creating my own milestones, ones that hold meaning and are reflective of what matters to me. That’s why, for my 22nd birthday, I’ve decided to launch my own website!

The past few years, though they have been incredible, have arguably been a time of confusion and exploration. I mean, I guess that’s college for everyone, but it has felt so starkly opposite to the clarity of vision I held as my younger self.

My life before college was devoted to riding horses. I lived on farms, drove horse trailers thousands of miles, and dreamt of one day doing it all on my own. There was a fire within me to chase down something that was largely intangible, and that feeling honestly still astonishes me. Clearly, there is so much power in defining and chasing your passion and I’m thankful every day for the people that recognized something in me and went out of their way to support me.

Needless to say, so much of who I am is because of them and I find that so beautiful.

In many ways, I accomplished what I set out to do: showing at horse shows across the country while never owning a horse of my own, and soaking up all the knowledge I could along the way. It never dawned on me that there might be other sides to myself that I had yet to uncover. Of course, life has an interesting way of redirecting us.

Going to college, unbeknownst to me, I was steadily investing in my writing skills. Through my coursework, interviews with female entrepreneurs for The Bloom Journal, writing about concerts in DC for WVAU, and lending my voice to The Blackprint, I found myself typing way more than I think I had originally intended.

After working all year, summer break was the first real time in 5 years I truly had no obligations, so obviously I booked a flight to Europe.

It was in the back of a Megabus headed to New York to catch my flight that I thought about keeping a blog to document my travels for my friends and family. For two years, I have maintained my Tumblr page, recounting my experience with police brutality, my love for travel, and even some of my struggles as a young person trying to figure out love and life.

Time and time again, against my better judgment, I pushed back against the people around me when the idea of investing in myself and creating a real site was brought up. Sometimes, the plainest truths rest right under our noses. All along I have been developing my voice and purpose as a writer, though I was arguably the last person to come to that realization. My love for storytelling and traveling has shaped my experiences and the life I live, but I don’t think I ever recognized any real value outside of the fact that they make me happy.

Today, I’m thankful to the people around me that have supported me and pushed me to create. You all saw something I was completely blind to.

I am a writer, which, I must say, feels kind of crazy to type out. I’m stating it unequivocally because if writing has taught me anything, it’s that our words hold power, far more than we will ever be able to comprehend.

Through lilmigsbigworld.com my aim is to cultivate a space to share my stories. Please go check it out and let me know what you think! It’s been a long time coming, and honestly something I wish I had done ages ago. Alas, one can’t rush the process, and, if anything, continuing to work on this site has shown me how restorative investing in something that is “yours” can be.

Writing might not always be a driving force for me, but, today, it feels like one of the few things that makes sense. There are certainly plenty of unknowns but it feels as though I’ve found my North Star yet again. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in these 22 years, it’s that life is far too short to not be doing something that stirs something within you. I’m not envisioning a fairytale, because, without a doubt, there are tough days where you literally end up crying in a manure pile (ask me how I know lol).

Those days are definitely not fun, but they make the other days, the awesome/phenomenal/insanely blessed days, that much more valuable.

Good or bad, it doesn’t matter… As long as I can find meaning in the effort I’m putting forth, life will handle the rest. Now, I’m learning to breathe in patience. Life really is not a race, and have no intentions of seeing it flash by. I’m setting my own milestones. Who knows, maybe the next one is a book?

For some reason, society has perpetuated a narrative for women that if you don’t get married or have children by a certain age, you have failed. And, if you are someone who believes that, I can’t help but laugh.

Not everyone in the world wants to get married, nor does everyone in the world want to have children. There are some people, in fact, who would rather stay single forever—traveling the world or building their own career empire. There are people who want to get married, but not have kids. There are people who want to have kids, but not get married. And, of course, there are people who want both. All of these options, there’s nothing wrong with any of them. However, what is the problem is that society claims that as a woman, if you do not want the latter option, there is something “wrong with you.”

F*ck that noise. Seriously.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want and doing just that. No one should force themselves into a marriage or force themselves to have children just to satisfy someone else’s opinion. Horrible, horrible mistake.

And, if you ever catch yourself feeling like a “failure,” because your family is breathing down your neck, your co-workers keep inviting you to their weddings and, all of your friends say “no” to a spur of the moment road-trip because they have Mommy duties—take a look at the bigger picture of life.

There are tons of milestones you can achieve that have absolutely nothing to do with marriage OR children that are worth being proud of.

1. Getting a college degree/degrees.

Nowadays, it’s common that people get a college degree. But, just because more people are going to college, doesn’t mean that it’s not an accomplishment to graduate and receive your diploma. And, if you’re serious and further your education to obtain a second or third degree – even better.

You should always feel proud of all the hard work you put into anything you do, especially when it is something to better your life and make it easier to achieve your dreams and goals.

2. Moving out of your parents’ house.

Some people move out right after college, others stay home while they get a stable job. No matter when you decide to leave the nest – it’s a big step in growing up. You’re on your own – paying rent, paying bills, going food shopping – and, it is a big deal. It’s not like dorming at college – it’s real life.

3. Landing a job you really want.

Landing a job is hard enough nowadays with the job market being so oversaturated. Therefore, many of us settle for the first gig we’re offered, especially when we’re young. We’re afraid to leave because, well, we don’t want to be unemployed. So, when you finally land a job that you really want—it feels incredible. You enjoy what you do, which makes working less tedious and more exhilarating.

4. Buying your own car.

When we’re young, some of us start out driving our parents’ car. Or, some of us get a pretty crappy hoopdie handed down to us. But, when we’re finally able to buy ourselves our own car – or lease it even – it’s proof that our hard work has paid off in a big way.

5. Getting your first pet outside of your family.

When you move out and get your first pet—a dog, a cat, a bunny rabbit—it shows that you’re mature enough to care for someone else that isn’t just yourself. Sure, you may not be ready to have children – but taking care of an animal is a big deal.

6. Joining a gym and going regularly.

Joining a gym is a big step because let’s face it, we’re all lazy AF inside. No one wants to wake up at 5 a.m. when you have a full day of work ahead of you and run a few miles on a treadmill, but if you drag yourself out of bed and put in effort to take care of your body—you should feel proud. Health is wealth.

7. Quitting a job you’re unhappy at.

Like I said before, quitting a job when you don’t have a backup plan is pretty scary. But, if you’re truly unhappy with where you’re at – there’s no problem with leaving. In fact, I think it’s pretty damn great if you know what you want and don’t want in life and are brave enough to go after it.

8. Ending a toxic friendship or relationship.

Growing up, you learn who is good for you and who is toxic for you, even if it’s a friend or a significant other. Being able to learn what is negative in your life is a big part of moving forward. Being able to walk away from people who weigh you down also shows how far you have come.

9. Going on your first vacation/traveling adventure.

Sure, we all sit at work and Pinterest destinations we would *die* to travel to, but we also realize we’re broke AF and can’t afford to stay in a ocean-side Fiji villa. But, saving up for a vacation you’ve been dreaming about and then actually going on that vacation is something to be hella proud of. Relax, enjoy it, take it all in.

10. Building a solid credit score.

Building credit is really f*cking hard – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Some people grow up thinking credit cards are essentially “free money,” while others just never get a credit card at all. Either way, having a good credit score is important in life—especially when you’re an adult. Getting there, that’s even harder. If you have 700+, consider it a win.

Tag: milestones

Milestones and Birthdays