Tag: moms

The Biggest Lessons You Learn Being Raised By A Single Mom

Growing up, things were never easy. Our household consisted of coupon cutting, sporadic family time, and a lot of rushed meals. My mother worked full-time, 6-days a week, and my sisters and I were all at different stages of our life, academically and socially. We were a tight-knit gang of 4—supporting each other every step of the way, but I’d be lying if I said things were easy.

There were times where I answered the phone and the bank was calling about money owed, times when I needed money for a school trip and the funds just weren’t there, times when I woke up in the middle of the night and heard my mom crying, quietly in her room. There were memories that I look back on and wonder if there were things I could have changed. But, there are traits and lessons I have learned, throughout the years, that made me realize that growing up with a single mother was the biggest blessing I could have been given.

 

How to manage my money.

My mother worked very hard to make sure that my sisters and I had everything we needed. But, working on a single income in New York City with three kids is not easy. In fact, my mom had to budget the sh*t out of her paycheck every single month to make sure she had enough to cover rent, food, electric, clothes, extracurricular funds, etc. Everyone in my family laughs and calls my mom the “bargain hunter,” but, she’s taught me the value of always looking for a less-expensive route in all that I do. Now, as an adult who has moved out on my own, I’m always looking for sales, looking at circular fliers, and trying to get everything for the lowest price possible. In the end, it only pays off—literally.

 

 

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Moms Are Sharing The Moment They Knew They Were Done Having Kids

The number of kids people want to have varies wildly. Some moms are strictly one and done, while others are looking for a bigger family (and then of course there are families like the Duggars…).

But there comes a time for every mom when she knows she’s done having kids. It could be because she’s just so over pregnancy, or that she’s exhausted enough (or even happy enough) with the number she has. Or it could be for so many other reasons.

Here, 19 moms share the moment they knew they were D-O-N-E, period.

1. A positive reaction to a negative test.

“I didn’t realize I was done until we were trying for a second baby, the pregnancy test came back negative, and I was so damn happy. I figured that wasn’t really the appropriate response if I was serious about a second kid.”

—thefirstn

2. A lack of joy at motherhood.

“I knew the day I brought my first baby home and realized I didn’t take joy in motherhood like I felt other moms did.”

—samp40f492cb7

3. Because having another one could be dangerous.

“I had a traumatic birth experience with our second child and almost had a heart attack afterwards. I knew we were done when my husband looked at me and said, ‘Having another baby is not worth the possibility of losing you.'”

—jessicabp

4. A super long time in labor.

“I knew when I was 36 hours into labor with my first…Three years later and I haven’t changed my mind.”

—jessicam40704b8a1

5. Unbearable grossness.

“I always wanted four kids. Then we had twins. I knew I was done forever when they realized they could remove their diapers and ‘paint’ each other with their poop. I dry-heaved through their bath and swore never again.”

—s478a8926f

6. Happy with just one.

“I always pictured myself having three kids, but then I had my daughter and immediately felt so complete. My husband, daughter and I are so happy that I don’t see us changing a thing.”

—jma367

7. Pregnancy can be the worst.

“I hated pregnancy immensely. I hated how I looked, felt like shit, and never got that ‘glow’ so many women talk about. So I busted out two kids and that was it.”

—laurenp48b42f47b

8. Too expensive.

“When my bank account told me.”

—jessicaz4d684525e

9. Freedom!

“I knew I was done when both of my kids finally learned to buckle their own seatbelts, and I realized we could leave the house like normal human beings again.”

—rachelramseyw

10. Holy ouch.

“I knew I was done when my 9-pound third baby came ‘too fast’ for an epidural.”

—Kristen Morrow, Facebook

11. Too much male-ness.

“When I found out we were pregnant with our third boy and panicked about being outnumbered by penis in my own home.”

—flores922

12. Already overwhelmed enough.

“I realized I was done having kids when I locked myself in the bathroom to cry in peace because I was so overwhelmed with the ones I have.”

—d4ea205bf0

13. Again, OUCH.

“When I cried on the toilet from painful hemorrhoids while taking my first post-childbirth poop.”

—Jessica Allen, Facebook

14. For the sake of the relationship.

“When my marriage almost didn’t make it through our first pregnancy, we decided one was enough.”

—childrenofthecornbread

15. Traveling can be a nightmare.

“When we were on an airplane with our two kids and I imagined trying to do the trip with a whole other human. It was so overwhelming that I told my husband to get a vasectomy consult as soon as possible.”

—lindsayb42bb479a4

16. Always knew there would be just one.

“We were always ‘one and done’ from the beginning of our relationship. We have career goals, we want to travel, we want to give our kid great experiences, and we want to be selfish. We wouldn’t be able to do those things with more than one child. We feel complete with our daughter, and with knowing we can give her everything we want to while still maintaining the lives we’ve become accustomed to.”

—blueeyedbird

17. GIVING BIRTH IS EXCRUCIATING.

“When I was having my vagina and perineum repaired with over 100 stitches after birthing an 11-pound baby WHO GOT STUCK. She’s 10-years-old now, and shit still ain’t right with my delicate area.”

—leannetillyk

18. Kids fighting.

“I knew I was done when I was at the store and saw a mom with two toddlers in her shopping cart fighting over who was touching who. No thanks!”

—careyanneg

19. And finally, just no desire for another baby.

“When my friend brought her newborn to a Christmas party, and neither me nor my hubby had any desire to hold her.”

—Jennifer Castillo, Facebook

h/t: BuzzFeed

Mom’s Viral Post Explains Why We Shouldn’t Be Teaching Kids ‘Not To Stare’

Staring isn’t something that only kids do—there are rude people all around us who are happy to stare, long, hard, and unembarrassed, at people around them who look different than they do. But kids are prone to staring by nature simply because they’re absolutely full of curiosity and everything is new to them. They haven’t yet learned that it’s a rude thing you’re not supposed to do.

But one mother is saying that we shouldn’t be teaching our kids not to stare because that just means ignoring everyone around them who looks different, and that’s not exactly ideal either.

Jenna Gines wrote a post on Facebook about how parents should react when their kids are staring at someone who looks different from most people, whether it’s gender-related, a physical disability, or just about anything that people tend to gawk at. Instead of just looking, she suggests actually interacting.

Facebook: Jenna Gines
Facebook: Jenna Gines

Her post, which includes pictures of two of her sons, one of whom uses a wheelchair, reads:

Please stop teaching your children not to stare!
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What are we teaching them when we say that? Don’t look at someone that is different then you. Don’t be curious or want to learn about something you’ve never seen before. Stay away from things that are different.

“Instead, let them stare. Let them ask questions, talk about it. What is it that they see? What is it that they’re curious about? What is different? What is the same?

If it’s someone using a wheelchair, say hi. If it’s someone that looks or acts different, say hi. If it’s someone ofshort stature, say hi.

“Teach your child about differences. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to notice it & to talk about it. It’s even better to make a new friend. It’s not okay to ignore, look away, or act like a person who is different isn’t there.
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Let’s embrace different. Let’s talk about differences & be the change we want to see in this world.”

People (other parents, as well as the people who so often find themselves being stared at) shared their thoughts in the comments.

Some moms learned something new and decided they’d be changing the way they interacted with people when their kids were staring.

Of course, there’s a difference between looking at someone and just straight-up gawking at them. Gawking is never okay.

And some people might not feel like talking about themselves, so it’s important for parents to be able to gauge the situation.

But it is true that by ignoring people completely, we teach our kids to be mean.

The ultimate goal is to make it so that kids learn to accept that there are people different from them, and that’s great. It’d be boring if we were all the same.

h/t: Someecards, Facebook: Jenna Gines

Study Claims That Spending Time With Your Mother Can Make Her Live Longer

It’s no secret that the relationship we have with our mother is special and unique. Whether we like it or not, she is the woman who brought us into this world. For me, personally, my mom is my very best friend. She’s my anchor, my safety net, and my soundboard whenever life gets hard. No matter what, she will always be there for me.

But, as I’ve gotten older and moved out, I’ve somehow spent less and less time with my mom. It’s hard to always find the time to see each other and hang out when we both work full-time and live in two different neighborhoods. While we speak on the phone every day, there’s nothing that’s quite like spending some quality time together. And, according to a scientific study, spending more time with your mother can help her live longer. 

In 2012, the study was published in the JAMA Internal Medicine and indicated that spending more time with your mother increases her lifespan slightly. The study said that loneliness is a significant factor in why older people die earlier. Loneliness in adults leads to increased depression and other health problems.

How did they discover this? Well, the study looked at 1,600 adults—with the average age of 71-years-old. They found that 23% of people who participated in the study who were lonely ended up dying within 6 years of being apart of the study. Only 14% of those who said they were not lonely died during the same 6 year period.

Basically, keeping your mom’s social life active, positive, and booming can allow her to escape the death grip of loneliness. And, if you can’t see her all of the time, at least try to call her once or twice a day and, possibly, see her once a week. You never know how much you can impact her life!

 

Doctor’s Viral Thread About Late Term Abortions Explains Why They Should Be Legal

Abortion is one of the most divisive issues in the country, and that’s saying a lot because we have plenty of divisive issues. So when New York state passed a bill allowing late-term abortions in cases where the health of the mother is endangered or strongly compromised, the backlash was quick and strong.
Continue reading Doctor’s Viral Thread About Late Term Abortions Explains Why They Should Be Legal

People Are Pranking Their Moms With A Fake Picture And The Results Are Hilarious

Our poor moms. They put up with so much from us and yet so many of us still feel the need to prank them from time to time just because we think it’s funny.

In a tweet that’s gone viral, Twitter user Jordan Rutledge posted a picture of an oven in which a pizza had been placed on a now-completely-melted PLASTIC cutting board. The picture originally seems to be from Reddit, where someone wrote that their daughter was the culprit. Was she stoned, or just not thinking, or basically dumb? We’ll probably never know.

Rutledge instructed his followers to text the picture to their moms and say, “I didn’t know you couldn’t put the cutting board in the oven.” Ouch.

The responses were predictably hilarious.

Moms, we feel your pain. We just think it’s funny! Just be happy this picture isn’t actually of your own oven.

Chart Shaming Working Moms While Praising Stay At Home Moms Is Making People Furious

The decision of whether or not to work is one many moms have to make. They may need to return to work after taking maternity leave because they need the money, or they may be able to stay home with their kids if they so decide. One thing is for sure, though—raising kids is very expensive.

A lot of moms might want to stay home with their children for the first few years (if possible), but then want to return to their jobs. It’s really a personal decision and one that’s very much dictated by a mom’s financial situation as well as how career-focused she is. And a woman can care about work as well as kids; it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

There are obviously pros and cons to both being a working mom or a stay-at-home one. It’s not easy to simplify. That’s why this simplistic hand-written chart posted on Facebook is causing so much controversy online—because it compares working moms unfavorably to stay-at-home moms without providing any sorts of actual facts or data.

Facebook: The Transformed Wife

This chart is so stupid. It makes all kinds of inferences about the lives of working moms as opposed to those of stay-at-home moms. It doesn’t take into account any outside factors and it lumps allll working moms into one group and alllll stay-at-home ones into another.

What mom has enough energy for intimacy with her husband “frequently”? Even a stay-at-home mom has been busy all day with kids. And I assume with the cleaning and shopping, too, since she’s not doing it on the weekends, according to the chart (another ridiculous notion).

The page where the chart was posted, The Transformed Wife, is a Christian page, and the writer has strong opinions about the place of women in the world. But the bible never said anything about moms having to stay home instead of work, or about the quality of care received by children with working moms.

The chart is, of course, being dragged into the middle of next week on Facebook, where tons of people have posted comments. Pretty much everyone agrees it’s idiotic, stay-at-home moms and working ones alike.

I’d love to see this “perfect” woman described in the stay-at-home mom category—her house is so clean she doesn’t have to spend time cleaning on weekends, and she has time to cook a nutritious meal from scratch every night. But I don’t think she actually exists.

25 Moms Share What Postpartum Bodies Really Look Like

One of the hardest things for women to deal with after giving birth is feeling insecure and ashamed of their bodies. And that makes sense, I mean, you just carried around an entire human for 9 months and then delivered it out of your vagina!

Instagram account @takebackpostpartum is changing the way that women view themselves and their bodies after giving birth by sharing real women and real photos and stories.

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To My Above and Beyond Mom, I’ll Be Lucky If I’m Half the Woman You Are

My mom is above and beyond.

The way I see it, moms have 3 main jobs. First, literally bringing new life into this world, second, loving their children unconditionally, and third, becoming their child’s best friend.

While every mom completes their first task, and we hope the second as well, making it to the last one isn’t as common. For myself and the others, whose mothers fulfilled all three duties, we know how lucky we are. 

And from our hearts to those of our moms, we thank you.

While you say that I’m your greatest gift, I know that I’m the one who’s blessed. You have one of the most beautiful souls I have ever seen in a person. No matter how much I may have been through, I know you have been through countless more trials and tribulations than I can even bear to imagine. You’ve shown me what true strength looks like.

When I try to list all the things you’ve done for me, I lose count after the 963726th one.

Growing into my own skin can seem impossibly difficult sometimes, but you’ve shown me how to love the person I am, especially when I doubt myself. You’re always there for me whenever I need you, no matter the hour of the day. You were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board for advice, a personal shopper, and a chef when I was hungry.

From day one, I wanted to be just like you.

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How to help ease the pain of potty training.

Up until now I was all for potty training, even excited to start this journey with my son. We got excited and bought him a potty chair a while ago, not to push the subject but to get him comfortable with it so when the time came he would be ready. I still remember that very first day we had him sitting on it and he pooped, all by coincidence of coarse. Recently he moved up to a new classroom at his school (daycare) and they start potty training (my son is two and a half). So about every 2 hours when they do diapering they have the kids sit on the potty and try to go. Woohoo a future of no more diapers is in sight.

Well as usual at first he would just sit there and very rarely he would “go potty”. But we knew it was lucky timing, until recently. He has started hitting the potty train in full force. Monday he went potty, Tuesday he went potty, nothing Wednesday, Thursday he went potty, and Friday he went potty three times. So we agreed this is the sign we were waiting for. Time to start potty training for real. Well that went well at home, NOT. He wanted to play not go potty. We tried to follow the same schedule as school and have him go at the same times. The closest we got was once when he was standing at the potty but instead of peeing in it he peed on me. Yes potty training is gross and messy.

So confused I started asking around and doing some research. Why is he doing so good at school but not at home? Well it comes down to this, he’s a typical child who is going through the potty training stage. And after feeling as though we were far from potty training, I’m now feeling great about getting my son out of diapers and into underwear. So here it is, my advice for helping not only your child but you as well.

1. When your child is at school or daycare and his/her friends are going potty that makes him/her want to go also. You know monkey see monkey do. At home there’s no “oh hey I want to do that to” thought. Try having your child go with you to the bathroom when you go.

2. Do not make a huge deal about it when they finally go potty. Now I’m not saying act like it’s not a big deal at all. You have to find the middle ground. Tell him/her you are proud and happy with some excitement in your voice but don’t jump up and down screaming in joy. It actually puts stress on your child, and yes children as young as 2 can get stress.

3. Positive reinforcement is good. They go potty give them something special. We give our son M&Ms when he goes potty. Or even do a sticker chart, every time he/she goes potty put a sticker on a chart and after a certain number of stickers he/she gets a reward.

4. NEVER EVER get upset at set backs. They will happen and it is normal. Just grit your teeth and know that the diaper free days are coming.

5. The potty is a tiny tiny object to the eyes of a toddler (this one is more for the boys). Some boys like to stand like daddy, as well as some school/daycares also teach them to stand to pee. Well they are the worst at aiming, yes even worse then your husband/boyfriend/partner. So be prepared to be wiping up a mess or two or fifty. And caution, sitting next to the potty you will be in the splash zone just ask my leg.

6. It takes time, lots of time. Your child will most likely want to play and sit there for what seems like hours. Just wait it out. Telling him/her to hurry up or saying “you been sitting long enough” can hinder your efforts to potty train. Never rush them to go.

7. Remember every child is different. So if you hear someone say “oh my son is two and he is potty trained” but your son is almost three and not yet potty trained, IT’S OKAY. Some children pick it up faster then others and there is no reason to get upset if your child needs a little more time.

8. Learning to pee is usually easier for a child then learning to poop. So again do not get discouraged when your child is going pee like a big kid but doesn’t have the pooping down yet.

9. Pull-ups are just over priced diapers. And yes this is my personal opinion. But I have seen many toddlers go from diapers to underwear without any help of pull-ups. I personally won’t be buying them for my son.

10. Buying cool underwear can be a good incentive for using the potty. But again don’t push the potty. When the time comes and your child has a steady pattern of going potty take him/her to the store to pick out big kid underwear. Even let them wear it over his/her diaper.

11. Night time will take a little longer then day time. So if need be let the diapers stay for bedtimes. The typical rule to this one is if your child wakes up dry you can start de-diapering at night.

12. Some kids will be on a very steady potty streak and then back track. Most of the times it is normal and as upsetting as this may be you have to hold on and stay calm.

13. Accidents will happen after your child has been potty trained. DO NOT GET MAD. Let your child know that it is okay and accidents happen. Encourage them to not give up and stay positive. Scolding him/her will only lead to more accidents.

And lastly, I have said this a few times a few ways, HAVE PATIENCE. If you get frustrated take a breath and remember that there is a silver lining to all this and it comes in the form of no more diapers. This is a big step for your child and it is not an easy road for him/her. He/she is learning to listen to his/her body and it’s confusing and frustrating. But if you can keep calm and remember that no matter what it will get easier and better, things will end well for you both.

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