Tag: mother

To my mother, who chose addiction over US.

to my methamphetamine, alcoholic, heroin using Mother. This disease has made you such a cruel and hateful person. I hate seeing you go from addiction to yet another. I know its your way of escaping reality, but also your way of covering up all the pain inside of you. Growing up as a child i hated you. I remember my brother and I waiting in the front lawn eating raw packs of ramen noddles, just waiting for you to come pick us up… You never showed. Unlike my brother, I can’t find it in me to forgive you. God, I’ve tried so many times to forgive you… I wanted a normal family.

But you chose drugs over your children and my dad.

Dad, oh man dad loved you..He was so in denial saying ” One day your moms gonna come home.” Days would pass, before i knew it, months passed by too.. You never came home.. You stopped calling, you didn’t even bother to come see us. 5 years passed after not hearing your voice, or seeing you i lost hope. 

I tried to hold on…

I didn’t really understand what was going on as a child, but as i grew older I started to question dad about you. More and more I wanted to know. Dad grew to hate you, he wouldn’t budge when I wanted to know why you abandoned us. 

They say Acceptance is key…

I can’t just forget that my whole childhood i didn’t have a Mother. I can’t help but wonder if you didn’t love us? Im the 3rd child out of 5 of us. I guess I don’t resent you as much as my older brother does.  He has all reasons to hate your guts and i’ll be honest if i were him I’d hate you too. You gave him up for adoption when he was 7. Why? why did you take it upon yourself to just give up one of us. I hate that today my older brother and I barley know each other because of you.

OUR FAMILY WILL NEVER BE WHOLE, THAT’S ALL YOU’RE FAULT.

I can’t forgive you… I’ve been an addict myself now. The funny thing is you have to nerve to tell me to get my life together while you’re selling and doing Meth. You’re also still trying to convince me that I’m the one with the problem… I’ll admit, you’re not wrong yet the difference between us is i decide that i wanted to live this life. 

I chose to live. I chose to quit. I chose to live a better life.

In site of this whole journey i’ve learned so much, and maybe I have you to thank. I’ll fight everyday for my sobriety. I just wish you’d do the same.

It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you don’t want to let go of. It hurts even more that they will no longer be a part of your life.It’s even harder to fight for you when you won’t even begin to fight for your damn self.I never thought i’d have to say goodbye to my mother. 

There are days nw and then I pretend that I’m okay.. That’s not what hurts the most though. What hurts the most is grieving a person who isn’t even dead yet.. 

This is Goodbye mom, if i don’t love you from a distance I’ll end up relapsing myself.

I choose family, love and happiness.. I hope one day you will too.

A Letter to the Mother Who Saw Me Grow Up From Heaven

Dear Mom,

I can still remember the worst day of my life: the day I lost you. So I stood in a room filled with black trying to understand why the world was doing this to me. Everything I was going to miss began to flash before my eyes.

The one person I needed most, I had to live without. Girls aren’t supposed to live without their moms. I still needed to learn to do all those things you did for me, all those things you made look so easy.

I hated coming home to a house I knew you wouldn’t be in, or getting off the bus and not seeing you waiting. And I wanted to hear your voice ask me about my classes. Dad did his best to help me with homework, but that was always our thing. I had to encounter so many milestones without you, and I knew it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t choose to leave us.

My first school dance, I knew you would’ve taken twice as many pictures as the other parents, and developed them the next day. My first date: I wondered if you would’ve helped me find something to wear, whether or not you would’ve liked the boy. I wish you could have faced my awkward years with me. Throughout my first relationship, I wondered when to tell them about you because no matter how much time passed, the words My mom’s dead don’t ever sound great. My first prom: when everyone of my friends had two parents to take pictures with, I knew I was missing a vital component. And I know you would’ve cheered the loudest as I walked across the stage at graduation. You wouldn’t be there for my first day of college. While everyone always said they got home sick, I know you would’ve given the best advice to make me feel better.

I can’t imagine not having you there for my wedding day; I know you would’ve told me I was the prettiest bride. I’m going to have to face every Christmas and every birthday without you. No matter what I asked Santa for or how many candles were on my cake, my wish was and is to have you back–and I knew it could never be granted. There will always be sadness to every holiday we have without you by our side. There will always be sadness when I realized I can’t say “parents??? when talking, but I’ve learned to only say dad. I wondered, at first, what our family could be without you a part of it. I wondered if I would turn into the daughter that would make you proud, or if your absence would mean I’d never amount to my full potential.

I sat there with all those thoughts rushing through my head, and a million people all around me, in a room full of your favorite flowers, and pictures of you and the time we did have the privilege of having you with us. Although you were taken from me and I can’t understand why, I know you didn’t want to go. I know you probably wondered what would happen to us with you gone, too. Would we be okay? But there are a few things you should know:

I want you to know, dad is going to do a great job.

He figured out how to brush my hair. He even made it through my awkward stages of puberty. He made it through my dating phases and wiped the tears I cried over guys. He became the hard*ss I never knew him to be, and that is because of you.

I want you to know, the only reason I am the person I am is because of you

I’m doing pretty well today, and I take pride when people tell me I remind them of you.

I want you to know, I miss you every day and take you with me.

Although a lot of time has passed, you aren’t forgotten. I still look at the pictures of us with as big of a smile. I know you’re still here.

I want you to know, I will never forget you.

I’ll keep telling people about you and, although our lives have moved on, they move on with you in our hearts.

I want you to know, I’ll do my best to make you proud.

Every day I try to make everyone proud, but, most of all, I want to make you proud. I know you’re up there, looking down on me every day.

I want you to know, I still hear your voice when I’m faced with a difficult situation.

Your voice is one I’ll never forget. Sometimes when I’m faced with conflict, I think about what you would’ve done. 

I want you to know, I’ll be strong for my siblings–but sometimes I’ll break down.

And I want to be strong for them, I want to never shed tears, but there have been moments (and I’m sure there will be more) where I’ve been strong for too long and I break down, knowing your invisible arms are wrapped around me.

I want you to know, my kids will know about you and I only wish you could meet them.

My kids will know about their grandmother, and so will their kids.

I want you to know, I’ll try and be nice to dad’s new GFs–but none of them will compare to you.

And I know dad is a catch; he got you. Though I was apprehensive at first about him moving into the dating stage, I accepted the new women in our life. She knows she’s second to you.

I want you to know, I’m going to mess up and I wish I could hear you yell at me for it.

During this thing called life, I’ve messed up and I’ll continue to mess up. Sometimes all I want is to hear your voice yelling at me one more time.

And I want you to know, I’ll never forget your voice–but I wish I could hear it.

I wish I could hear your voice in something other than the videos and in my memory. But I’ll keep it with me, until we meet again.

And I want you to know, I’ll never forget your hugs and kisses–but I wish I had one more.

Even if dad gives the best hugs and kisses, I do still miss yours and would love one more, if I could.

I want you to know how thankful I am to call myself your daughter.

Of my many accomplishments, one of my favorites is simply being your daughter.

I want you to know how much I really do love you.

Most of all, please, know I love you.

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It Takes A Real Man To Win The Heart Of A Single Mom

Dating is hard, so dating a single mom comes with additional challenges that only a real big-hearted man will be able to overcome. The good thing is that if you put in the work, you’ll realize that dating a single mom is extremely fulfilling.

Single moms are straight up badasses. A single mom has her priorities straight and knows exactly what she wants and needs in her life.

She doesn’t want to waste her time simply because she doesn’t have much of it, to begin with. And when she does, she won’t be with someone who’s not willing to put in the effort. The bottom line is, she’ll share her precious time with someone who is willing to be as committed as she can be if you’re right for her.

She has to be picky about the person she chooses to date because she needs to think about her little one too. She knows that every decision she makes might directly or indirectly affect her child. She’s really good at keeping her priorities straight, so consider yourself lucky if she decides to give you the time a day.

 

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A Thank You To My Mom, Everything I Am Is Because of You

From the moment I entered this world, my mom has had my back. She is my absolute everything.

She is the first one I call when something goes wrong and the first one I call when something incredible happens.

She was there when I was a rebellious teen and pushed her away and is still here now that I’m twenty-something and call her thirteen times a day.

I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better woman to be my mother. She is my teacher, my comforter, my home, my best friend. She has never steered me wrong.

She has stood by me through stupid boys, late night study sessions, random phone calls asking what setting the washing machine should be on because I’d never lived away from her before.

Through every smile and every stress-induced, tear-filled, crazy moment, she’s been there.

She knows exactly how I think and how deeply I feel things, and, most importantly, she knows I don’t mean the things I say when I’m hangry.

Without a doubt, she is my rock and will forever be my best friend. I would be lost in this world without this beautiful angel I was assigned.

She carries me when I am weak, picks me up when I fail, and rejoiceswith me when I succeed.

She has taught me that it’s okay to make mistakes and that my ponytails don’t have to be bump-free. She has taught me how to love but also how to stand up for myself.

Everything that I am and hope to be I owe to my mother. I wouldn’t be half of what I am today if not for her guidance, love, and support.

I could write pages about her forgiveness, kindness, strength, unconditional love… But no amount of words could ever express how grateful I am to have her in my life or just how much I love her.

For more from RC, visit her writer’s page here. 

5-Year-Old Sent Home In Different Outfit After School Asks Her To ‘Cover Her Body’

We’ve all read stories about schoolgirls being punished for violating the dress code — almost invariably to make male students and faculty feel more “comfortable.” But this sexualization of young girls usually applies to teens, not kindergarteners.

Recently, a 5-year-old kindergartner was forced to change her outfit in school after administration deemed the young girl was showing “too much skin.” Her mother, Emily Stewart shared the story on Facebook, saying:

The picture on the left is showing what my daughter was wearing to school this morning. The picture on the right is what I picked her up in. She is in kindergarten and she is 5.

Now, I knew the weather would be nice today. I sent her to school with a light sweater over her dress and jeans underneath of it. It’s a new dress that her grandma got her and she really wanted to wear it. we live in Minnesota and having 65 degree weather in April a week after a snow storm is everything to us in the Midwest. So, I thought “yeah it will be nice out you can wear a dress.” And that was the end of my thinking. It didn’t occur to me that an adult would look at my 5 year old child and think that wearing a dress was inappropriate.

She was told that she needed to leave class and go to the nurses office.

The nurse told her that she needed to cover her body and made her put on this T-shirt.

I am not making this post to bash the school or say anything bad. I’m making this post to raise some discussion.

As a mother, how am I supposed to teach my daughter to love and celebrate her body when she has people telling her she “needs privacy.”

What exactly is private about a 5 year olds shoulders?

Why is it ok to put my daughters bare shoulders before her education?

Why was her dress looked at as an inappropriate outfit to begin with? She is 5 why is she being sexualized?

I asked her when I picked her up “why are you wearing a T-shirt?”
She said “I was told I had to put something on because I need privacy.”
I then asked “how did that make you feel when they told you that?”

She started bawling.

She was excited to wear that dress to school and show her friends and play in it on the play ground.

She said to me “I don’t know why they told me I couldn’t wear my dress it was super embarrassing.”How do I teach a little girl that what she wears and her appearance is not nearly as important as her education and self development when things like this happen?

Facebook

Stewart also shared a video on Facebook live, discussing in detail what went down and how she feels about the school sexualizing her 5-year-old daughter.

Many people online were outraged to see that adults were that uncomfortable with a 5-year-old showing her shoulders in class.

As it turns out, Stewart’s Facebook video and commentary made waves online. Stewart was featured in countless news segments from town and, after, ISD 264 where her daughter attends school sent out an email announcing changes to the language of their dress code.

Stewart posted the update and the email online, stating that they removed the rule that allows determining sexualization based on a child’s outfit.

Way to go, Mom—that’s how you stand up for your child.

h/t: Scary Mommy, Facebook

Mom Threatens To ‘Punch’ Breastfeeding Moms And Their Babies In Bonkers Facebook Rant

When it comes to breastfeeding, not everyone is completely fine with the idea of a mother feeding her child in public. Although it’s completely natural and totally normal, there are still some people who are “uncomfortable” seeing it happen IRL—even other women, apparently.

Carly Clark, who lives in Spartanburg, South Carolina and works for company Petsense, posted a Facebook status warning that the next female who tries to breastfeed in front of her kids “will get a black eye.” She added that she would “punch the baby, too.”

Obviously, this is one take that is way off the deep end—especially coming from a fellow woman and mother.

Immediately following the post online, social media users began to report the status and reach out to Petsense to take action.

Many thought that she deserved to be terminated immediately because what she said was threatening and vulgar.

https://twitter.com/CarolWalden/status/1019212278112145409

https://twitter.com/__3LittleBirds/status/1019296495022084096

https://twitter.com/WhitneyLKing/status/1019257481225269248

Following the numerous complaints and outrage from mothers and others online, Petsense issued a statement saying that Clark had been fired from the company. They also issued an apology on the company’s behalf.

Many people were happy to see the company take action and stand on the right side of this argument.

One mother, in particular, seemed to have struck a nerve with Clark. Mother KimReindeau said she received a very nasty and snarky message from Clark.

The response wasn’t any better and only served to prove how badly she deserved to get fired.

A word to the wise—keep your disgusting opinions to yourself unless you want to lose your job.

h/t: BoredPanda

Moms Are Sharing The Moment They Knew They Were Done Having Kids

The number of kids people want to have varies wildly. Some moms are strictly one and done, while others are looking for a bigger family (and then of course there are families like the Duggars…).

But there comes a time for every mom when she knows she’s done having kids. It could be because she’s just so over pregnancy, or that she’s exhausted enough (or even happy enough) with the number she has. Or it could be for so many other reasons.

Here, 19 moms share the moment they knew they were D-O-N-E, period.

1. A positive reaction to a negative test.

“I didn’t realize I was done until we were trying for a second baby, the pregnancy test came back negative, and I was so damn happy. I figured that wasn’t really the appropriate response if I was serious about a second kid.”

—thefirstn

2. A lack of joy at motherhood.

“I knew the day I brought my first baby home and realized I didn’t take joy in motherhood like I felt other moms did.”

—samp40f492cb7

3. Because having another one could be dangerous.

“I had a traumatic birth experience with our second child and almost had a heart attack afterwards. I knew we were done when my husband looked at me and said, ‘Having another baby is not worth the possibility of losing you.'”

—jessicabp

4. A super long time in labor.

“I knew when I was 36 hours into labor with my first…Three years later and I haven’t changed my mind.”

—jessicam40704b8a1

5. Unbearable grossness.

“I always wanted four kids. Then we had twins. I knew I was done forever when they realized they could remove their diapers and ‘paint’ each other with their poop. I dry-heaved through their bath and swore never again.”

—s478a8926f

6. Happy with just one.

“I always pictured myself having three kids, but then I had my daughter and immediately felt so complete. My husband, daughter and I are so happy that I don’t see us changing a thing.”

—jma367

7. Pregnancy can be the worst.

“I hated pregnancy immensely. I hated how I looked, felt like shit, and never got that ‘glow’ so many women talk about. So I busted out two kids and that was it.”

—laurenp48b42f47b

8. Too expensive.

“When my bank account told me.”

—jessicaz4d684525e

9. Freedom!

“I knew I was done when both of my kids finally learned to buckle their own seatbelts, and I realized we could leave the house like normal human beings again.”

—rachelramseyw

10. Holy ouch.

“I knew I was done when my 9-pound third baby came ‘too fast’ for an epidural.”

—Kristen Morrow, Facebook

11. Too much male-ness.

“When I found out we were pregnant with our third boy and panicked about being outnumbered by penis in my own home.”

—flores922

12. Already overwhelmed enough.

“I realized I was done having kids when I locked myself in the bathroom to cry in peace because I was so overwhelmed with the ones I have.”

—d4ea205bf0

13. Again, OUCH.

“When I cried on the toilet from painful hemorrhoids while taking my first post-childbirth poop.”

—Jessica Allen, Facebook

14. For the sake of the relationship.

“When my marriage almost didn’t make it through our first pregnancy, we decided one was enough.”

—childrenofthecornbread

15. Traveling can be a nightmare.

“When we were on an airplane with our two kids and I imagined trying to do the trip with a whole other human. It was so overwhelming that I told my husband to get a vasectomy consult as soon as possible.”

—lindsayb42bb479a4

16. Always knew there would be just one.

“We were always ‘one and done’ from the beginning of our relationship. We have career goals, we want to travel, we want to give our kid great experiences, and we want to be selfish. We wouldn’t be able to do those things with more than one child. We feel complete with our daughter, and with knowing we can give her everything we want to while still maintaining the lives we’ve become accustomed to.”

—blueeyedbird

17. GIVING BIRTH IS EXCRUCIATING.

“When I was having my vagina and perineum repaired with over 100 stitches after birthing an 11-pound baby WHO GOT STUCK. She’s 10-years-old now, and shit still ain’t right with my delicate area.”

—leannetillyk

18. Kids fighting.

“I knew I was done when I was at the store and saw a mom with two toddlers in her shopping cart fighting over who was touching who. No thanks!”

—careyanneg

19. And finally, just no desire for another baby.

“When my friend brought her newborn to a Christmas party, and neither me nor my hubby had any desire to hold her.”

—Jennifer Castillo, Facebook

h/t: BuzzFeed

Mom’s Viral Post Explains Why We Shouldn’t Be Teaching Kids ‘Not To Stare’

Staring isn’t something that only kids do—there are rude people all around us who are happy to stare, long, hard, and unembarrassed, at people around them who look different than they do. But kids are prone to staring by nature simply because they’re absolutely full of curiosity and everything is new to them. They haven’t yet learned that it’s a rude thing you’re not supposed to do.

But one mother is saying that we shouldn’t be teaching our kids not to stare because that just means ignoring everyone around them who looks different, and that’s not exactly ideal either.

Jenna Gines wrote a post on Facebook about how parents should react when their kids are staring at someone who looks different from most people, whether it’s gender-related, a physical disability, or just about anything that people tend to gawk at. Instead of just looking, she suggests actually interacting.

Facebook: Jenna Gines
Facebook: Jenna Gines

Her post, which includes pictures of two of her sons, one of whom uses a wheelchair, reads:

Please stop teaching your children not to stare!
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What are we teaching them when we say that? Don’t look at someone that is different then you. Don’t be curious or want to learn about something you’ve never seen before. Stay away from things that are different.

“Instead, let them stare. Let them ask questions, talk about it. What is it that they see? What is it that they’re curious about? What is different? What is the same?

If it’s someone using a wheelchair, say hi. If it’s someone that looks or acts different, say hi. If it’s someone ofshort stature, say hi.

“Teach your child about differences. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to notice it & to talk about it. It’s even better to make a new friend. It’s not okay to ignore, look away, or act like a person who is different isn’t there.
?
Let’s embrace different. Let’s talk about differences & be the change we want to see in this world.”

People (other parents, as well as the people who so often find themselves being stared at) shared their thoughts in the comments.

Some moms learned something new and decided they’d be changing the way they interacted with people when their kids were staring.

Of course, there’s a difference between looking at someone and just straight-up gawking at them. Gawking is never okay.

And some people might not feel like talking about themselves, so it’s important for parents to be able to gauge the situation.

But it is true that by ignoring people completely, we teach our kids to be mean.

The ultimate goal is to make it so that kids learn to accept that there are people different from them, and that’s great. It’d be boring if we were all the same.

h/t: Someecards, Facebook: Jenna Gines

This Couple Did A Maternity Shoot For Their New Cat And It’s The Most Extra Thing We’ve Ever Seen

When you get a new animal/pet in your life, the feeling can be quite similar to having a child. This pet is going to be yours to raise, nurture, and love from here on out–so, it’s basically the same as bringing home a baby, except, it’s not human. When you decide with your partner/significant other to raise an animal together, it’s like having your pre-child. You two learn together how to raise a person/animal and figure out how your partner is going to be loving someone other than themselves/you–it’s important, ya know? But, while getting a new pet can be emotional and exciting (and even overwhelming), we’ve never seen anyone take it to this level of extra…ever.

Lucy Shultz and her partner Steven decided to hire a photographer and do a “maternity shoot” for their new kitten they adopted. The photos, which Lucy decided to share in an album on Facebook, have gone pretty viral. At first, I thought it was because it was adorable and creative to do a photoshoot for your new kitten–but, after seeing the actual photos, I realize now why people have shared the post over 70,000 times.

At first, I thought the photos were sweet.

But then, there were a few I was…questioning.

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Mom Drags Critics Who Judge Her For Letting Son Wear Dresses And Bows

Kids dress up as all kinds of things—real people, superheroes, animals. And for some reason, people seem to think that there’s something wrong with allowing boys to dress like girls and vice versa. A boy dressing as Wonder Woman is no more likely to turn out gay than a kid pretending to be a dog is going to identify later as canine. There’s not a thing wrong with being gay either, it’s just that one has nothing to do with the other.

Instagram star and YouTuber mom Jessica Ballinger posts a lot about her kids online. And one thing she gets questions about is her 5-year-old son’s predilection for wearing dresses and tutus and bows in his hair.

The tweet said, simply, “Apparently this needs to be said again. Xoxo.” Along with a picture of her son Parker in a dress, Ballinger included a note that read:

“This is my son. He loves lots of things. He loves dressing up and dancing and science and gymnastics and his family and @itsjojosiwa and Mickey Mouse and makeup and Peter Pan and drawing and math and he currently plans to marry his best friend and loves to play family with her and laments that his body can’t carry babies, but he dresses up like he’s pregnant anyway.

I frequently see questions online asking if he’s gay or trans or why does he dress like a GIRL??? My answer is that he is five and he loves a lot of things. If you see a boy in a dress, or playing in a traditionally female role, ask yourself—”if the roles were reversed, would I question it?” When you see a little girl playing fireman/policeman/soldier/any previously male-only role or wearing pants or dressing like a favorite super hero or male celebrity, do you question it? Do you ask if she is gay or trans or imply that she is wrong for having the interests she has? NO, we rightfully celebrate their desire to be and do ANYTHING. We call girls strong and celebrate it. Why don’t we do that for boys?

We limit boys by only allowing them to love what we think boys should love. I do not know what the future holds for our child. I will love him however he identifies. But right now, he has heroes who are girls. I celebrate that. And I think it means a lot for women. We SHOULD be heroes to our little boys. By not allowing boys to dress like the women they admire, you are telling them that being a boy is BETTER. That it doesn’t matter if that girl is brilliant, fierce, and his hero—it will make him “less” to idolize her. It doesn’t make him less to admire women. It makes him MORE. More willing to express what he is passionate about, more respectful of the women in his life and more open to believing women can be heroes.”

She’s right—aside from stunting their own personal development, limiting what boys can wear and telling them they shouldn’t pretend to be girls or women really does give them the impression that women are not worth imitating.

People on Twitter agreed wholeheartedly, but many stated that they were sad Ballinger had to send this message again.


Another woman tweeted a picture of her own young son, dressed as Maleficent, to which Ballinger replied, saying he looked “fierce.”

And someone else claimed that Parker was braver than she was.

Ballinger seems like a great mom and her son Parker is obviously a joy!

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