“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect—you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can…” – Bob Marley
Every girl falls into her own journey of discovering who she is. It’s not so much that she follows a unique path, it’s that she’s swept into it by life’s circumstances. A big part of that is love.
Some girls fall in love once, others twice, three times, or more.
Most of the time, she needs to meet more than one person to find out who it is that’s right for her. If you’re lucky, that might happen to be you. But before she could ever meet you, she had to walk through the darker tunnels of the past to finally meet you, the light at the end.
And if a girl’s truly right for you, you won’t put her down for having that past.
Yes, it might bother you to think of a time that it wasn’t your eyes, but someone else’s she was looking into. And, yes, it might madden you, even more, to think that she was treated with anything but the respect she deserves.
You might wish you could simply reach back and scoop her out of the past so that she wouldn’t have to endure any pain so that you could have her all to yourself.
And this isn’t because you’re selfish or controlling, it’s because you want to protect her from any past harm. But instead of taking that frustration out on her, transform it so that you can make her future brighter.
Don’t be the guy who wants to change her past; be the guy who wants to better her future.
Don’t be the guy who makes her feel bad for any mistakes; be the reason she never makes another one again.
Don’t be the guy who dismisses her for who she was; be the guy who appreciates her for who she is now.
Because the reason you fell in love with her, to begin with, wasn’t because she was plain and boring. She caught your eye because she was different from the rest, a force to be reckoned with. You fell for her because she didn’t fit the ordinary mold. And the more you try to make her fit yours, the further and further she’ll flee.
A girl can’t be contained.
In love and life, we become so worn down and jaded through heartbreak after heartbreak. We have a hard time believing in forever. But you, you have the power to help her go back to who she used to be when she believed in fairy tales. Prove to her that “Til death do us part” still stands strong. Show her that love can defy the physical limits of this world and transcend into something greater than that.
So don’t love her because you’re her first. Love her because you’re her last.
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