4 Essential Rules for Having Sex on the Beach

First off, getting creative like this is a huge bonus in your life with your partner. If you and your partner are this fun and wild, then your relationship is great, and keeping the sex and adventure is in full force.

Sex is fun, but when you spice it up and add new locations into the already adventurous cycle, it is going to be mind-blowing. There is some careful planning that needs to be worked out. You need to make sure you are carrying all the essentials! When it is “go time”, you and your partner can get freaky, and have sex – but also keep from getting caught.

1. Different Types of Beaches

When you get to the desired location, the first thing you and your loved one should do is scout out the location. Beaches are all different. Some of the beaches are going to be a bit rockier, and some might even have a nearby cliff. I used to live on a beach that was sandy, but it also had cliffs nearby that were close enough that if an ambitious couple wanted to have sex, all they had to do was go around the rocks.

Of course, those with binoculars from the condos above the cliff could get the view of a lifetime, but anyone else would not be able to see a thing. From time to time you would see couples come from that area, but no one would flat out ask them if they were having sex over there. Check the little areas that seem slightly private, and you should also check out where most of the people tend to hang out. You can check into beach tents.

You might find a beach tent that is available for rent. The larger beaches always have beach equipment that can be rented by the day or hour.

2. The Time of Day

Obviously, if you and your partner are thinking of a nighttime fuck-a-thon on the beach, then that is almost a no-brainer, but you still should watch for a few things.

This may sound silly, but paying attention to high/low tide is highly recommended. That can not only ruin the mood, but all the items you may have brought to the beach will wash away, not to mention sand in places that sand should never be found.

Once you figure out what time of the day you plan on having your sexy sand date. Planning what to bring is going to be a very important next step.

3. Sand Sex Attire

The fun part of planning this is, really there isn’t a great deal that is going into this process. The most important part of fucking in the sand is making sure sand does NOT go into your partner’s vagina. That will instantly ruin the trip. You should bring a good-sized towel or blanket.

All of the intercourse needs to be on the towel or blanket, otherwise, just think of a very uncomfortable time that might need medical attention if an infection occurs.

As sexy and hot as it sounds with waves and sand all over your partner’s body like the movies portray sex in the sand, the reality is sand will totally fuck up your sexy time. An easy outfit for your woman in the sand for sexy time is a long sun dress. She will be able to wear no panties. All you have to do is hold the dress up.

4. Sexy Sand Positions

Since sand in the vagina is the major no-no you should think of some new positions or ways to please each other. A blow job is the easiest way to have sex on the beach. All that is involved is dropping to knees and sucking. If a male is hoping for some oral fun, then there is a super-naughty way to have fun.

Bend your woman over, give her a tug on her hair, and begin licking from behind. This is very exciting and a turn-on, because you can get a great view of the hole you plan on sticking. You can lick her into bliss, then slip your cock in her vagina or ass. If you are going for a missionary style of sex, then you might consider rolling her ass up off the blanket, because you want to avoid any little bit of sand if possible.

The goal is to keep the vagina away from the sand!

Always watch for people that might be roaming the beach. Most of the time people keep to themselves, but you should always be scanning the area.

Night-time sex on the beach is going to be the easiest, but try to watch out for noise. If your partner is a screamer, you might have to shove something into her mouth to keep her quiet as she is having an orgasm. If the first time doesn’t work, try again. Hot beach sex is a super fantasy and should be tried at least once if possible.

The Douchebag Percentage Quiz

Take a deep breath and add up all that apply. Go!

10% – His friends don’t have a fucking clue of who you are and to top it off, he avoids at all costs to meet yours.

5% – He flirts with your friends or any girl when “you’re not looking”. Add an additional 5% for underestimating your intelligence.

5% – You’ve gone on a few dates when you suddenly find out that he’s got a serious girlfriend. But according to his logic, he’s done nothing wrong because… “You never asked if I had a girlfriend”

5 % – His ‘phone use’ is highly questionable and at times borders on inappropriate. He can’t, for his life, be a nice guy and instead has a roster of girls he’s in constant communication with depending on his ego level any given day.

10% – He refers to other girls he’s been with as; the psycho, the stalker, the crazy bitch, the obsessed, the fucking ex…But when you do the math: excessive ego + a dose of bullshit = he’s obviously the one with serious morality issues.

5 % – He’s constantly fishing for compliments, from you or any girl under the sun, which results in several posts showing off the many phases his ego goes through on the daily; the ‘gym shirtless selfie’ or the ‘I woke up like this half naked in bed’ are his favorites.

10 % – He tells you to lose a little weight or put on a little weight, or change your hair or anything about the way that you like to carry yourself because he has a type and you’re not quite cutting it yet.

5 % – He happens to know your ‘Achilles Heel’ and uses it against you just to get what he wants it, when he wants it, how he wants it. Dick!

10 % – He won’t shut up about how much money he has or how many expensive things he owns. Dude, nobody gives a shit about your car. Staaap!

5 % – He’s a pro at non-reliability: he won’t text for days, cancel plans with you at the last minute, he’s always “fashionably” late and always excuses himself with “Don’t pressure me, Babe, that’s just how I roll”

5 % – He’s a master at the Jekyll and Hyde maneuver. He’s the sweetest to you in the beginning, just so you think he’s a catch but after you sleep with him, he turns into the douche that he really is.

5 % – He’s a dick pic freak. Instead of a morning text, you most likely receive a glamor shot of his few inches of lack of respect. When did you ask for this?!

5 % – He has little interest in talking about anything remotely unrelated to him, so don’t be surprised if he already forgot where you went to school, or what you do for a living.

15 % – There’s a constant underlying rudeness to him. He’s quick to judge, criticize, undermine you and tries to manipulate any situation or people to his advantage because you know, he just thinks he’s better than everyone else, including you.

The 13 Most Cringe-Worthy Social F*ck Ups

We all hear those stories that make us say, “Oh, Thank God that wasn’t me???. Well, here they are!

Our readers told us some of the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy shit that’s ever happened to them. Read on to feel #thankful this wasn’t you!

Busted!

“I screenshot my conversation with an ex to send my friend…I sent it to the ex.”

-Jenny, 19

Full frontal gone viral…

“A girl was more than happy to let me know that she had seen my boobs on a computer she got from a guy I once sexted. Best part was that she felt the need to post the picture and tag multiple people in it!”

-Tanya, 23

Awkward AF!

“We thought we were having sex in the woods… only to find out it was someone’s very large backyard and their kids caught us, yikes!”

-Pam, 26

You know it’s a good night when…

“On my birthday, I had a few too many drinks and blacked out for the first time. I fell out of a car and lost one of my parent’s yard lights… Still haven’t found it.”

-Rene, 21

You: 0, Mom: 1

“I accidentally texted my mom and asked her to send me a dirty pic. She sent me a picture of my room.”

-Maddy, 20

…Can’t make this shit up!

“Yes, I dated a guy in prison. He asked me to send nudes, so I did. Heard he got into some negative stuff with a gang and sold them to get out of getting his ass beat. Let’s just hope I never get famous because I have no idea where those are!”

-April, 26

Well, at least there was ‘no sharing’!

“Got a little heavy on the drinks at a party once. After about 10 rounds, our group ended up getting pretty physical with our partners, and we all ended up “doing it” in the same room. (No sharing partners though!)”

-Jess, 22

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR

“I had too many margaritas and tequila shots at the local Mexican restaurant. Ended up blacking out and supposedly throwing up all in their bathroom. I also fell and hit my head on their sink counter. Almost had to go to the hospital.”

-Becca, 23

DO NOT drink and snapchat!

<!–nextpage–>

Pages: 12

18 Slightly “Asshole” Things That Blunt People Absolutely Love Doing

People that do slightly asshole stuff aren’t actually insensitive, the only people who think otherwise are the people who don’t have a sense of humor and are probably the biggest assholes of all.

The truth is, we’re all slight assholes sometimes:

Using sarcasm to insult stupid people without them realizing it. Since hitting people is frowned upon, sarcasm is your selected shield.

Messing with really serious and pretentious people. Like cats with laser pointers. They’re the cat and you’re the laser pointer.

“Don’t tell anyone what I just told you.” You: “No no of course not never.” *Copy* *Paste entire conversation to the best friend*

When you laugh in really inopportune situations and then you can’t stop laughing because it’s so inappropriate but that much funnier.

Farting silently and then leaving the room.

Having the urge to tell someone to STFU even when they aren’t talking.

Texting someone and then they call, but you only feel like texting so you don’t pick up.

Listening in on people’s conversations and then judging them: Idiot. Of course that wasn’t her cousin that she went to dinner with.

Your camera roll is like 90 percent of screenshots because you just make fun of people.

Stealing someone’s cab because you’re faster: Sooorrrryyy! Muhahaha

At work replacing “fuck you” with “okay, great.”

Provoking people that are completely ridiculous – like when you’re debating with something who’s a dick and you just say absurd stuff to make them madder.

Pages: 12

6 Confessions of a Kinky Mom

Everyone likes sex but once you become a mom for the first time everything seems to be more about baby and less about you. I honestly think that’s great and all but, before I became a mom I was a sex-loving female who loved my child’s father. I loved my child’s father so much in fact, that I’d love him- every night with my pussy. However, all that loving seemed to stop when the baby came along.

Everyone seemed to be in love with my child and I had to find a way back to being in love with my body and my husband again in the sexual way that I seemed to be missing. That can be a little scary sometimes as you feel like you are trying to be perfect for everyone and everything. When I started reading up on trying to put my sexy sparkle back together for my husband, I must admit I got a little kinky.

I fell in love all over again with sex! It was great until my mom world and my sexy world started to collide…

1. One, night I was really in the mood and invited my husband to fold laundry with me and we thought it would be a great idea to turn the dryer on and for me to get on top. It was great, it was heaven, until our toddler started knocking on the door screaming. Our sexy time had to be a quickie time.

2. My husband also thought it would be a great idea to buy me a vibrator. Ladies, I must have been living under a rock let me tell you. The only drawback was when my daughter wiped it out of her diaper bag (don’t ask me why it was in there) and threw it across the dinning room, in the middle of a restaurant, and it landed right on another table.

Pages: 12

This Tweet About A Straight Girl Hooking Up With A Lesbian Will Confirm That You’re Wasting Your Time With All These Men

Lesbians have better sex than straight girls. The screen caps in the viral tweet below exemplify the truth of the statement, though it is important to note it is actually one of scientific fact rather than opinion.

Consistently, women who sleep with women report higher levels of sexual satisfaction—regardless of age, race, geography—than do women who sleep with men. Consider these statistics: A 2014 study by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that lesbians orgasmed 75% of the time during sex, compared with 61% for heterosexual women (the sexual orientation of men, unsurprisingly, had no effect on their orgasm rate.)

A significantly larger study of Americans conducted last year by the Kinsey Institute found the same trends, though with a more alarming disparity; Lesbians reported orgasming 86% of the time during sex, whereas that number was a low 65% for women (again, men, regardless of orientation, said they orgasmed 95% of the time.)

Is it harder for a woman to fake an orgasm when with another woman, than when with a man? Certainly. But lesbians also know what a clitoris is and how to work it—a statement that, depressingly, does not seem to always apply to their male counterparts.

Pages: 12

14 Signs He’s 100% Douchebag

Douchebag Math Time

Take a deep breath and add up all that apply. Go!

10% – His friends don’t have a fucking clue of who you are and to top it off, he avoids at all costs to meet yours.

5% – He flirts with your friends or any girl when “you’re not looking”. Add an additional 5% for underestimating your intelligence.

5% – You’ve gone on a few dates when you suddenly find out that he’s got a serious girlfriend. But according to his logic, he’s done nothing wrong because… “You never asked if I had a girlfriend”

5 % – His ‘phone use’ is highly questionable and at times borders on inappropriate. He can’t, for his life, be a nice guy and instead has a roster of girls he’s in constant communication with depending on his ego level any given day.

10% – He refers to other girls he’s been with as; the psycho, the stalker, the crazy bitch, the obsessed, the fucking ex…But when you do the math: excessive ego + a dose of bullshit = he’s obviously the one with serious morality issues.

Pages: 123

Thanks, But We Actually Don’t Want Your Unsolicited Dick Pic

We get it. You have boy parts. Congratulations. Slow clap

Now that it’s been acknowledged and celebrated, can we stop with the nude “Good morning” photo at 8 am with a sun positioned (poorly) over your package?

This is apparently the new way to say hello… but why. The amount of virtual sex that happens before a real date is becoming far too common. Don’t get me wrong.

Booty calls and no strings attached relationships are completely fine by me but there is an incredibly easy way to make sure that you and the person you’re interested in are on the same page when it comes to the actual kind of relationship or connection they are looking for.

Ask them. I know! It seems so simple but, like everything else in life, it becomes masked and misconstrued by lack of communication and prominent gray areas.

I also understand that some people simply don’t know what they are looking for and that’s fine as well.

But please, don’t test the waters by randomly sending a nude Snapchat at 1:30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday after asking me what I want to do with my degree after graduation.

Pages: 12

To All the Curvy Girls Who Think They’re ‘Too Big’ to Ride Him, You’re Definitely Not

I had a guy tell me once, “I’m tiny compared to you… I don’t want to suffocate just to get a nut.” There were so many things wrong with this statement. We didn’t last very long, to say the least.

I’m a big girl. I know it. I got these thick thighs that could crush a watermelon and a stomach that looks like I probably ate a few watermelons and forgot to chew them first.

For a long time, I let that one guy’s comment make me feel like I would never be able to ride a man. I’d never feel the empowerment of being on top, controlling how deep he was inside me, how fast we were going.

I let one small-minded f**kboy make me feel like sh*t because I was chunky, I could only be face down or back down.

I’d always be asked to get on top, but I’d make some joke out of it, saying something along the lines of, “No, then you’d really fall in love” or “You wouldn’t be able to handle this.”

When all I was really thinking is, “what if I’m too heavy?” “What if he really does start to suffocate and I don’t notice?” “What if I’m doing it wrong?”

Then, I did.

And let me be the first to let you lovely thick ladies out there know, you are not too heavy to ride him. You ride him like he is a bull and you are the professional. You take control of that dick and make him go crazy.

You won’t regret it, I promise.

The feeling of being in control will send sensations through your body like you’ve never known before. And the look on his face when he sees how confident you are on top of him, will be worth it.

It took one guy to make me self-conscious, but only 1 guy to show me there’s nothing to be self-conscious of.

As we all know, thick thighs really do save lives 😉

25 People Reveal The One Moment That Caused Them To End Their Relationship

Breakups are hard to do, no matter when they happen in a relationship. Saying goodbye to someone you love can be a difficult experience. But, for many, there is no other option. There are many people who reach a point in relationships—a breaking point—that they cannot come back from. It changes theway they view their partner entirely and they can no longer stay in a healthy, loving relationship with that person. Recently, Reddit user u/bejeweledbanana asked users to share the tipping point of their relationship—what made them end it for good—and, some of these stories are insane.

1.

When my now ex-wife was arrested for having a sexual relationship with one of her female students…

2.

She started telling me how she had to defend me to my friends after I had to miss watching a show with themto go into work. My friends told me that wasn’t true and she spent the entire time shit talking me.

–stressedinsocal

3.

She wouldn’t stop sleeping with her ex boyfriend and then decided to marry him. She told me this via text.

–filthy_pikey

4.

He and I had this moment, lying on the bed, listening to some music, in my room, while the sun was setting, the city buzzing away below us, after a long day and I felt this wholesome feeling, like I knew where I belonged. And right then and there, he looks at me and said: “if you ever leave me, I’m gonna make your life a fucking hell.”

Guess I belonged far far away from him.

–PumpkinLaserSpice

5.

I got tired of carrying her to bed after her nightly binge drinking. Also, her complete denial of being an alcoholic and refusing to get help.

Pages: 12345678

Exit mobile version