overthinker Archives

8 New Years Resolutions For The Big-Hearted Overthinker

This New Years Resolutions post was originally published in 2016 and the meaning is so true, especially for this year. So we updated it out of gratitude and thanks to the writer. Enjoy!

Everyone always makes New Years resolutions each year, and few ever actually follow through with them. For over thinkers who have big hearts, we rarely have time in our busy lives to work on ourselves, but remember, when you’re in a plane crash, the first person you need to put the mask on is yourself. You can’t help others if you’re injured. This year, try these 8 things.

1. Practicing self-care.

You’re always so busy putting everyone else first that you forget to take care of yourself. Take some time to decompress, reflect on things, and relax. You deserve it.

2. Accepting life for what it is.

You are constantly searching for reasons behind everything. Unfortunately, sometimes life just sucks. There’s not always an answer or a solution. It’s important to understand that some things are best left alone while you wait for better things to come along.

3. Ridding yourself of toxic people.

Sometimes no matter how much you love people, they’re not meant to be in your life. People can be brought into your life to teach you a lesson, but aren’t meant to actually stay. Don’t break your own heart by keeping people in your life who don’t deserve to be there.

4. Do something spontaneous

You overthink everything, rarely ever doing anything without thinking it through first. Let loose, think of something fun and just do it. Don’t think twice. Thank me later 😉

5. Be proud of who you are.

We are all human and there is always room for improvement, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not something to be proud of. You are a work in progress and you are beautiful in all of your imperfections. You are one of a kind. Embrace it, love it, take pride in it!

6. Learn how to set healthy boundaries.

You have such a big heart, and because of that, some people will suck you dry. You don’t have to take on more than you can handle, it’s okay to say no! And remember, no is a complete sentence, it requires no explanation.

7. Develop an optimistic thought process.

Once you start to think more positive, your days will become brighter. There is always a positive for every negative. Work on trying to draw on that. Wake up everyday and tell yourself “today will be a good day.” You’d be surprised how far that kind of mindset can take you.

8. Become a little less reactive.

Every action does not deserve a reaction. Sometimes your silence can speak a thousand words; not everyone deserves to get a rise out of you. Choose your battles, learn when to hold your tongue and when it’s necessary to speak your mind.

2021 can be an amazing, life changing year for you if you let it be. Change takes time, so if you can’t get it down one day, try again the next. You can become a healthier, happier you. And I have faith that you will.

This Is What Unconditional Love Feels Like for an Overthinker

When you love an Overthinker, you are loving someone whose mind plays tricks on them. You are loving someone who can’t help how and how much they think. So if you want to show how much you love them, you first have to know what unconditional love feels like for an overthinker.

Overthinkers are always going to have questions about your feelings towards them. They will be processing one thing at a time, and then constantly be overwhelmed with what ifs. So if you’re an oversharer, showing your love to them is gonna be a piece of cake.

You need to be one step ahead of them, never letting their head start to spin with self-doubt. So you need to not just tell them that you are there for them, and you need to take action and show them, instead of just putting words into their head.

You need to be compassionate and be gentle with their hearts — to understand when out of nowhere, they are being flooded with fear. When they think everything is terrible, while meanwhile, you think everything is great.

They can’t help how their brain is programmed to process life. They can’t help the thoughts that poke and prod them until they need to explode. So you need to show them empathy–to show them that you aren’t going to judge them for perceiving the world differently than you.

So yYou need to show them that you aren’t going anywhere when they share their worries and that you will love them, despite how much they repeat and overthink and over worry.

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10 Things You’ll Understand If You Always Read Between The Texts

Most people can text no problem with no anxiety because that’s how it’s supposed to be. Not for you, though. For you, texting is a literature. You’re the kind of texter that reads way too into messages:

1. You barely receive a text without thinking about what it really means.

You read text messages like you would a textbook. There’s almost always an interpretation involved.

2. You wish you had a disclaimer about people being really specific with texts…

…because if you’re not sure what it means, you overthink your mind crazy.

3. You hate when even your friends text you hi.

Just hi and nothing else. You don’t even really know why it drives you crazy but it does. Like does it really hurt to add more detail?

4. You’ve texted paragraphs because you want the person to understand what you’re saying.

It bothers you if you don’t know if the person will know what your text means. It helps to add in extra lines just to be sure.

5. One word within a text message can throw your whole day off.

It can be as small as a period at the end of a text. If something seems off, it will stay with you for most of the day.

6. You can even read the tone of the message.

You read texts so closely that you know what tone of voice the person is using when they text you, depending on what the conversation’s about. If they have a yay! in the end, you know they’re happy. If they text idk, you know they’re probably sad.

7. You sometimes picture a person’s face when they text…

…because texting might as well be talking to someone face to face for you since you get so into it.

8. When it comes to dating, texting is kind of a deal breaker.

If they don’t text you the next day or at least send in a good morning/good night text, that’s it. They clearly aren’t into you or else they’d put a little more effort into their texting.

9. You don’t want to admit you’re pretty sensitive…

…because it’s kind of embarrassing how much you think into text messages and it’s even more embarrassing that the reason why is because you’re a highly sensitive person. You’re very in tune to your feelings, so something as virtual as texting can get to you.

10. You’ve tried not to overthink it.

You’ve made attempts to change your mindset when it comes to texting. But at the end of the day, you’ve accepted that this is just one of your quirks and that’s okay.

Weird Things Every Girl Is Guilty Of Overthinking In Her Relationship

We’re all pretty much insecure about the same things but on different levels. And some of these things we’re insecure about—even in the most secure relationships—aren’t things we’re really willing to admit to our significant others: that his ex is prettier than us, that we kind of want him to text us first sometimes, that we hate asking him for help and more…

1. When you tell us we’re pretty

We know you think we’re beautiful. You say it with your eyes, and you say it all the time. But when you say it too often, we get kinda insecure about it. We know this sounds crazy. But we promise: it’s not. When you tell us we’re pretty every day, we wonder if you’re just saying it because you feel obligated to say it.

2. When you compliment us at all, really. . .

When you tell us the sweetest things, of course, we love it. But it also makes us insecure. And it sucks. Like, if you tell us how smart we are, we feel constant pressure to be smart.

So that means we kinda freak out if we’re wrong about something, because what if that’s the thing that makes you realize you don’t like us as much as you thought?

3. Saying ‘we’re forever’ is beautiful, but also a lot of pressure. . .

When we hear you say “forever,” we get excited but freak out at the same time. We want forever, too! That’s why we’re with you. But the future is scary as hell.

What if we want the same things now, but don’t in five years? We trust in you and this relationship, but things can change in time.

4. We worry that we’re thinking about you too much. . .

Everything either reminds us of you or is something we want to share with you but the idea that this puppy love has consumed us when we swore we would never, ever be like this, makes us majorly insecure about who we are.

Also, we can’t help but wonder: are you thinking about us as much as we’re thinking about you?

5. You know everything about us, you have all our dirty secrets.

Other than our BFF (who literally can’t judge because we honestly know way too much) no one knows our inner demons and flaws and all that dark twisty shit as much as you do.

So when we let you in, we also let in all this anxiety and wonder that you may judge us. That maybe you think we’re not the “confident” person you thought we were.

We never want you to think we’re fake and definitely never want you to get annoyed that we sometimes just need a vent sesh. Ok, we need to vent a lotta the time, and we’re super insecure about because we know how often we do it.

6. Even when you tell us we’re great in bed . . .

Not all of our sex is great sex, and that’s ok with us. But is it ok with you? Sometimes we wonder if we’re doing something wrong, or if we’re boring in bed.

And sometimes we even wonder if you think we’re too comfortable with each other?

7. Having the money talk. . .

Money sucks, but it’s a necessary part of life. And if our relationships are gonna last, we have to talk about it, as much as we don’t want to.

If you make more money than us, we’ll feel guilty when you pay for things. If we make more money than you, we’ll still feel guilty when you pay for things. Too many relationships end because couples ignore this topic altogether, which makes us want to talk about it no matter how insecure it makes us, no matter how scary it is.

To Every Girl Who Has Ever Questioned Her Worth

There’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s normal to get hurt and feel like you’re the one that is flawed. It’s normal for your confidence to get shook up a bit. Maybe it was over a guy. Maybe someone said something to you that has you questioning everything. Maybe someone criticized you, or hurt you or knocked you down. Maybe your heart is completely broken right now. Maybe he left for someone else, and you don’t know why.

And here you are just fumbling through your day, just trying to get through it without tears. But you should know, it isn’t your fault. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong. It’s nothing you’ve said. It isn’t that flaw that you obsess over. I know you wish there are things you could change about yourself. We all have insecurities, but it is how you overcome them that matter. If you were this or that or looked different, maybe things would have worked out in your favor, but you can’t live in a world thinking what if. All we have at this moment is what you are, and it is your job to own that.

It’s your job to find that confidence, even if it’s been shaking a bit.

But I’m here to tell you there’s nothing you need to change about yourself because if he was the right person, he’d see your value and see how lucky he is.

It’s his loss, not yours.

You have to understand, it’s his loss. You aren’t the one who lost something. I know you don’t think that though. I know you are hurt and vulnerable and struggling a bit. But it will be okay. Your whole life will be okay!

Sometimes when things end, instead of pointing at the other person thinking, “wow you’re an idiot,” we point at ourselves and struggle to walk away with grace. We say and do things in a desperate attempt to win them back, but anyone who is worth it doesn’t ever need to be won over. You don’t need to convince someone you are worth it. Because you are worth it. You are beautiful. You are perfect the way you are. And I’d hate to see you change because someone doesn’t see that.

Your only flaw is in your confidence.

I think people are really mean, but sometimes we are meaner to ourselves when we shouldn’t. Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than we should be. Sometimes we criticize and analyze and break ourselves down, far worse than anyone else can.

You have to get to a point where you’re building yourself up so high, that if anyone were to walk away, you continue on your path and let them go on theirs. Never alter anything about the way you live your life, in an attempt to keep someone around. If someone doesn’t want to stay, f*ck them. And that’s the attitude you should have right now if someone hurt you.

I think relationships ending and how you respond to such things, can teach you a few things. If you’re a mess and can’t function, it’s normal. But if you think you only matter because of someone else, that’s when you have to reevaluate your relationship with yourself.

Confidence is tricky sometimes, but you shouldn’t only be confident in yourself when you are loved by someone else. No matter what is going on in your life or whoever is unkind, the number one relationship you can rely on is yourself. The relationship with yourself will affect the relationship you have with others.

So if you shake up a bit, if you are heartbroken, if you think you aren’t gonna get through this. Blindly trust me when I say you will. But sometimes the answer comes from within you.

Everything will be okay.

And you’re gonna come out of this stronger, more beautiful, more confident than ever. And I know you don’t think that now, but I can promise you one thing, the moment you realize your self-worth and look at your reflection with the confidence you deserve, you’ll be his biggest regret. When that happens, he’ll come back, but you won’t even want him anymore.

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Things You Should Know Before Dating The Girl Who Worries A Lot

Anxiety is a problem that everyone has to deal with from time to time, but some people suffer from it way more frequently. It can affect people to varying degrees, often in the form of a person who would describe themselves as a worrywart, someone who’s fretting about stuff all the time.

But just because a girl worries all the time doesn’t mean she’s not worth dating. You just need to be aware of some of these things first.

1. Telling her to stop worrying just isn’t going to cut it.

Sometimes it just slips out when you think you’re saying something helpful, but a person who is worrisome can’t simply stop.

2. Sometimes she’ll just need you to be there and listen.

Even if you can’t solve any of her problems, even if she’s you keep offering the same comfort over and over again, that’s okay. She just needs you to be there.

3. She knows that often her anxiety is irrational.

Anxious people know better than most that their worrying and freaking out is pointless in the long run. That doesn’t make it any easier to stop, so you don’t need to tell her that.

4. She might get overwhelmed and cry. Frequently.

It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, so don’t take it personally.

5. She’s just as frustrated about it as you are. Probably more.

Patience is key. If you show that you’re exasperated with her, it’ll just make her even more anxious.

6. She has probably worried about every aspect of your relationship at length.

Worrisome people are great at getting inside their own head, to a fault, actually. Most likely they’ve thought about every possible twist and turn your lives might take and worried over them each in turn.

7. She will appreciate your compassion more than she can even say.

Being there for her will take some patience and empathy on your part, but she’ll pay it back tenfold and love you that much more for it.