Some first date stories are bad. But, some first date stories are f**king awful. Like, I mean, so awful they are almost unbelievable. The ones that you hear and say: “Nah, no shot that’s true.” And then you stop and realize how truly disgusting some humans can be and swear off dating for the rest of your life.
Twitter user Jacqueline shared the story of her friend’s date with a morgue worker and—brace yourselves, this is disgusting.
Her friend met the guy on Tinder.
After the date, they hook up and have sex. It gets…graphic.
After letting him plant his seed all over her chest, she has a rash the next day.
She decides to go to the doctor, who then sends her to a dermatologist.
And, they found “tiny parasites” under her skin.
The doctor says the only way a person gets these kinds of parasites are from having sex with animals or having sex with dead people.
1. Being alone means there is absolutely zero judgment at all. Zero. None. Negative none.
2. You can walk around without pants on and not have to worry about a damn thing.
3. You can eat whatever you want, at any time of day, and have no one to tell you otherwise. Ice cream for breakfast? Bring on the damn sprinkles.
4. You have a list of excuses that you run through on a regular basis to get out of plans with people you really don’t want to do—like, your mom needs help moving, your sister needs you to babysit the kids, your super is coming to fix the kitchen sink.
5. Ordering food for one is way cheaper than ordering for two-three and having to figure out how to split the Seamless/Postmates bill.
6. You know vegging out on the couch with your show to binge watch with some wine is way better than having to go to a club and rub up against sweaty and annoying strangers who keep touching you without your permission.
7. There is no pleasure quite like lighting a candle in your bedroom and snuggling under the covers with a good book.
8. Relationships are hard to get into because your personal time is more precious than anything else you can imagine.
9. And, the worst thing you can deal with is dating someone who wants to be with you or see you on an everyday basis. No thank you.
10. You don’t understand why people feel the need to text all day, every day. Having time away from the rest of the world is special.
11. People think that you’re a weirdo or a loner because you’re not always out doing something with other people.
12. But, in reality, you are constantly doing something—just solo.
13. Traveling alone is one of your all-time dreams. And, you have no problem going to a new country all by yourself.
14. You think that people who need to go with someone everywhere (including running errands, or going to the hair salon, or even traveling) are crazy and dependent.
15. People always say you’re the most independent person they’ve ever met.
16. You always people-watch and study body language when you’re out, thinking about their stories and where they come from.
17. You don’t understand why people hate eating by themselves.
18. People never worry about you if they haven’t heard from you in a while because they know you’re always around, just under the radar.
19. The only person you’d ever consider spending your life with is someone who is just as independent as you are because you cannot imagine having to do everything with someone else tied to your side all of the time.
20. You wouldn’t trade your alone time in for anything in the world—except, maybe, a million dollars.
Relationships are full of surprises. The more time you spend with the same person the more you learn about them, especially once you’ve moved in together.
Living with your significant other teaches you a lot about who they really are—what their weird habits are, what annoys them, and sometimes you find out they have some very odd vices. So odd, in fact, that you seek advice from the internet.
At least, that’s what one boyfriend did after he discovered his girlfriend was wiping herself with his gym socks…
Redditor u/whattodobedroom recently shared a story with the online community about something very odd that happened with his girlfriend.
He titled the post: ‘I (28) think my girlfriend (26) has been using my gym socks to wipe after going to the bathroom.’
Feeling disgusted but curious, we continued reading and um, brace yourselves…
The post reads:
I don’t even know where to start with this. I’m dumbfounded. She just stormed out the house and I’m sitting on the bed asking myself A LOT of questions.
I live a pretty normal life, and I thought so did my girlfriend. We’ve been together for a few months and after things got serious, we moved in together. We started sharing a lot of the household responsibilities, but the one thing she was adamant on doing was the laundry. She would come home and find me in the bedroom getting the laundry together and would quickly ask me to go do something else. I’d come back to finish the laundry and she would have already started it. I always thought it was sweet and never her job to do it alone, but hey, if it makes her happy to do it all the time, I wouldn’t stop her.
This is where it takes a turn for the weird.
I keep all my socks and underwear in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I also go to the gym frequently, so I always keep a good supply of clean gym socks ready to go. I never kept count, but I know by just a visual glance I several pairs. This morning when I went to grab a fresh pair to pack for the gym, I noticed there were several dress socks, but no gym socks. Again, not weird, they must have been in the laundry. I went to check the laundry basket and it was empty, so I checked the washing machine and dryer. Both were empty. I couldn’t figure out where all of my gym socks had gone. So, I did the very natural thing of asking my girlfriend what had happened to them. After all, she is the one who does the laundry all the time. She went silent, turned red and ran out of the room. When I went after her to see if she was okay she wouldn’t talk to me. I told her I wasn’t mad, I was just looking for my socks. She kinda mumbled “I’ll don’t know.” I still wasn’t mad, of course, but I was super confused. Socks just don’t disappear. So I asked her again, even laughed about it and she just looked at me and got mad and said “I’ll buy you new ones!”
The first thought that went through my head was she had somehow managed to destroy my socks while washing them. I thought the sight of that was actually pretty funny, so I joked with her about ruining my socks. Wrong. Thing. To. Say. She started immediately crying. Like, full on sobbing. At this point I don’t care about the socks anymore, I want to know what’s wrong with my girlfriend. I sat down next to her on the bed and put my arm around her and asked her of she was okay. She just kept saying she was sorry and that she would buy me new socks. I tried assuring her again it was okay. Even went so far as to say I would buy new socks and she didn’t have to. I sat with her for a few minutes trying to calm her down and eventually had to get ready for work. I told her loved her and got my things together to leave for the day.
On my way out I grabbed the garbage to take outside. When I got outside I lifted the lid off the garbage can and I noticed a small plastic bag sitting on top of the garbage already in there. I could see through the bag (kind of the semi see through ones) there were socks in the bag. Since I was sure she had somehow managed to ruin the socks washing them, I wanted to see for myself. I opened the bag and immediately regretted my choice. There, inside the bag, were several pairs of my gym socks covered in what looked like poop. As soon as the smell hit me I knew it WAS POOP.
We don’t own any pets.
We don’t have any kids.
WHOSE POOP WAS ON MY SOCKS?
Work could wait. I couldn’t go the rest of the day wondering why my gym socks were covered in poop and inside a plastic bag in the garbage can. I grabbed the bag and walked back inside. As soon as my girlfriend saw the bag she flipped out and started yelling at me. She said I shouldn’t be going through the garbage and that I was disgusting for bringing it back into the house.
I asked her to calm down and that I just wanted an answer as to why there was poop on my socks. I wasn’t blaming her of anything, but she started accusing me of blaming her. That’s when it clicked. I don’t know what it was that lead me to ask this, but everything leading up to this moment had just been so crazy. I asked her “Is this your poop?” She started sobbing again and ran out of the house. I didn’t go after her this time.
So, now I am sitting on my bed with a bag of poopy socks on the floor and a lot of questions in my head. The only conclusion is that she used them after going to the bathroom. Which that alone has its own set of questions above everything else. I sent her text asking her to come back. She hasn’t responded yet. I don’t even know what I’m going to say when (IF) she gets back.
We can imagine the author felt something like this:
Fortunately, it wasn’t long before he posted an update:
I had to leave for work and am now at work. Yes, I threw away the bag of poopy socks. She texted me back and she’s clearly embarrassed but felt she owed me an explanation. She said she didn’t want to talk about it in person and that we could discuss it over texting and to NOT bring it up in person. I’m condensing the conversation and filling in some gaps as best as I can. Her responses are super short, but I’m getting the idea.
I flat out asked her if it was a fetish. It is not a fetish. She confessed to using the socks after going to the bathroom. I found the reason she always does the laundry is because she was hiding the fact that she uses socks to wipe with, primarily her own. I had no reason to question the amount of socks she ever has because who pays attention to that kind of thing? She thought I would notice and think it was weird since she doesn’t own many socks. She admitted she has done this for a long time. Her reasoning, as best as I can understand, is that because she is a germaphobe (her word) and she is afraid toilet paper will tear and is afraid of getting her hands messy in ANY WAY. She uses socks because it covers her entire hand. After she’s done with them, she throws them away. She used mine because she didn’t have other socks.
So, my girlfriend has a fear of getting poop on her hands so she wipes with socks, and has done so for a lone time. It could be worse, I guess. I hope we can laugh about this later. I’m trying to find the humor in it now, but I’m still weirded out.
And people have a lot to say about his situation.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need a minute to erase this from our brains.
Swiping through Tinder never fails to be an adventure. Sometimes that adventure involves creepers and unsolicited photos, but other times it can involve some truly great conversation.
Sometimes it can even mean finding the perfect wedding date. Just ask Delyanie who matched with one very dedicated guy named Nate who was even willing to build a resume to go to a wedding with her.
This is South Carolina native Delaynie AKA @delayniemarie.
@delayniemarie
While swiping on Tinder one day, Delaynie matched with Nate who was interested in being her wedding date and jokingly, Delaynie requested a formal resume.
@delayniemarie
And Nate took the request pretty seriously.
@delayniemarie
A few hours later, Delaynie received this outstanding and thorough resume.
@delayniemarie
Note the many prestigious awards and acknowledgments.
@delayniemarie
Delaynie shared the entire exchange on Twitter where it garnered over 50K likes.
@delayniemarie
Needless to say, people were obsessed and wanted to know the outcome.
Though, some commenters pointed out how odd it was to invite a stranger to a family wedding.
And several people were rooting for Gavin.
It wasn’t long before Delaynie shared an update saying she would be taking Nate to the wedding.
@delayniemarie
According to Bored Panda, however, the pair did not end up going to the wedding together, but they did remain friends.
For some reason, people absolutely love to be “touchy-feely.” No matter how many times you try to stop them, ask them not to touch you, or avoid people altogether, it’s impossible to stop people from hugging you and even stroking you. *Shudders* If you’re like me, and you hate human contact altogether, you’ll know that trying to avoid it is almost a job.
1. You are constantly angry while out in public because no one understands “personal space.”
2. You despise the holidays and family events because you know your family will make you “hug and kiss” literally everyone.
3. You don’t understand why everyone wants to hug and give “cheek kisses” every single time you see them.
4. When people touch your hair or your clothing when complimenting you, it’s like the absolute f**king worst.
5. Or, when people tap you to get your attention. Gagging.
6. You constantly carry around hand sanitizer because who knows where people’s hands have been.
7. Everyone you know says you’re a “cold” person.
8. But you’re really not a cold person at all.
9. You just think human beings are annoying and don’t understand the idea of consent.
10. When guys try to dance with you at bars and clubs, you always have your fists in a ball ready to battle.
I know it’s weird. But when I started in a new position at my job last fall I was working with people I didn’t know too well, and this woman came into my office to ask if I had something they needed to borrow (we’re a little disorganized, they needed one of the 3 computers chillin in the cabinet). And she asked why I had my laptop out since I have a desktop too. I was explaining that my internet wasn’t working because the computer is 900 years old and it’s not even worth calling IT because it just needs to replaced (seriously it had windows XP guys). And this woman SAT DOWN next to me to listen to my answer, and smiled as we talked briefly. And I have just felt very comfortable in her presence ever since. She’s so sweet.
People who automatically introduce you to a new crowd. Instead of them jumping into conversation with their buddies and you’re standing there awkwardly.
I met someone for the first time who instead of asking me what I do for a living, they asked what I am passionate about.
The question felt so sincere that it shocked me at first. It made it really easy to give more than a quick two-word answer. So I guess genuine interest did it. Small talk just isn’t my thing.
They make a point to include the person who constantly gets talked over/ignored in the group. It shows they not only notice that everyone is ignoring them, but that they care.
I watched a woman the other day on her phone. She looked over her shoulder at a homeless man trying to sleep outside of a timmies. Turned her head back and continued talking and then said wait hold on I’ll call you back.
Lady then woke the guy up super gently and asked him if he needed some food because she’s heading into Tim Horton’s and came back with a whole meal for this guy completely unprompted.
Taking out both earbuds/headphones when you’re talking to them. Just makes me feel like they’re genuinely listening to me instead of the usual “one in one out” that some people do.
And honestly, we’re not always up for taking care of others anyway. There is no rule that says other people are always supposed to come before yourself.
Here are some behaviors that might get you labeled “selfish” when you really, truly aren’t.
Telling your family “no” when you feel you have maxed out your contribution to whatever cause they are campaigning. Especially when their methods of negotiation include applying guilt.
Cutting off toxic family members/in-laws. I have cut my narcissistic abusive sister out of my life and I am in the process of cutting off my mother-in-law. Life is too short to allow abuse into your life because your abuser is a family member.
You are told when on a flight that if the oxygen masks come down, put yours on first before you try to put them on your child.
You can get yours on relatively quickly, but if you’re spending all your oxygen trying to fight your kid first, that’s asking for trouble and it might not be enough time to do both that way.
