You may be thinking “How can you possibly be rejected by your own family? You come from the same place”.
I ask myself the same exact question, yet I know the answer.
You see, when one comes from a place where diversity is prevalent, one can notice the different skin tones, hair textures, eye colors, and speech.
If one lives in a place where individuals have African bloodline, such as the islands, it is very possible to find people who are racist towards others.
Including themselves.
Internalized racism lives and breathes in our era and it’s terrifying to know that it could even be one of our family members.
It goes something like this…
A baby is brought into this world. Sure, it is quite important to know that this tiny human being is healthy. However, for some people it is more important to know if the child’s hair is straight or curly.
The child grows a little more each day and they pray for it to have eyes as the color of the ocean instead of the color of the night sky.
God forbid the child inherits their great grandmother’s skin complexion. Because you know, other’s opinions matter.
The child grows up. He/she is introduced to relatives who have more Caucasian bloodline than them.
They crack jokes. They point out the obvious, such as the fuller lips, the darker complexion, the curls, and even what the child eats.
They could even favor the child’s lighter sibling.
Do they not know that’s how they are alive right now? I’m sure their mother consumed plantains while they were in the womb.
It is no surprise if this child is considered to be “lower” and it is less surprising if they are not considered family, but rather a “friend”.
A racist relative sure as hell will not invite a family member who is darker than them to special events, because it would be so horrendous to have a black person in the wedding. How scandalous.
And if they do, they will keep them out of the limelight.
But this just doesn’t occur towards others, but to themselves.
How?
These people perhaps spend a little more time in the morning straightening and burning their hair to make it pin straight to match their porcelain skin.
They reject the idea of stepping foot in their native country, if they’re not already there.
They will associate with people of a “higher” class or with people who are anything but people of color.
The worst of all,
They will instill their negativity and sickening words to a child.
The child may grow up feeling insecure or less than them.
Or they may use hatred as fuel and succeed in their life.
To anyone who is reading and relates to this:
I know rejection is worse when it comes from those you thought would always be there for you.
But never be afraid to cut ties with toxic family members. Never let their negativity define you.
There is nothing wrong with changing the way you look, but don’t change the way you look so others can look at you differently.
Whether you have pin straight hair and white skin or a chocolate complexion with a headfull of curls, you are no mistake, you are a beauty.
Our movements tell a story.
You don’t have to agree with your parents, you don’t have to agree to ignorance.
You shouldn’t.
Walk in the way of a beautiful life.
Pass on love and acceptance to the future generations, especially young family members.
Because history can easily repeat itself.
It is ugly for hate to be evident in the outside world.
But it is abhorrent when one hates their roots and those who carry the same ones.
