9 Things You Should Know Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend

Sometimes in long-term relationships, there comes a point where a couple discusses taking that next step from “just dating” to “moving in together.” While it seems like a natural progression in any relationship, it’s actually a huge step to take as a couple. Sure, you may think it’s not such a big deal when the two of you spend every other night at each other’s own apartments anyway, but sleeping at someone’s apartment and actually sharing an apartment together are completely different things – trust me. While moving in may seem like an adorable and magical idea – playing “house” always makes every girl excited and happy – it’s a big f*cking deal, especially if there are things you’re unsure about or questions you don’t exactly have the answers to.

1. Make sure it’s something you both want to do.

Everyone feels as though it’s natural to move in together when you are a long term couple and you’re a certain age (in your mid-20’s/early-30’s). And, while it is a normal step to take in many relationships, you want to make sure that you and your partner are both happy and comfortable with the idea of living together. If one person is more into it and the other isn’t ready – don’t f*cking do it. You both need to be ready to take this step together because if one person isn’t ready, resentment will grow and your relationship will suffer because of it. I know a lot of couples who broke up after moving in together because they just weren’t ready or at that stage in their relationship to do so.

2. Make sure you’re doing it for the same reasons.

If you’re moving in with someone because you want to build a life with them, but they’re moving in with you because it’s financially convenient for them – it’s going to create tension. Make sure you discuss your intentions before you move in together. Make sure that you’re both on the same page and understand what living together really means. It’s not the same as just dating someone and staying over their apartment, you two are no cohabitating which means what’s yours is theirs and vice versa. You don’t want to have false expectations and hope and create conflict because you were both unclear of what you want.

3. Talk about finances, no matter how weird it may get.

When you move in with someone, your finances are now up front and important in your relationship. Most people will tell you not to discuss money with your partner unless you’re married, but, if you’re living together – everything matters in terms of money. And, it’s more than just rent. You’re going to paying for rent together, electric, cable, internet, food, furniture – everything you want to put in this apartment will be both of yours, not just yours or theirs. If your partner is financially irresponsible, that’s a big consideration you need to weigh before moving in. If you make more than your partner, that’s also something to think about. You don’t ever want to be stuck paying for 90% of the things in your apartment and your partner mooches off of your financial well-being, you’ll begin to get angry and resentful and will end up blowing up on them about it. The best thing you can do is discuss how to split things and make a schedule for things such as laundry, groceries and other necessities.

Why Nostalgia Actually Makes Me Sad

When we get nostalgic, we reminisce on the good things that happen, wishing we can relive them. Sometimes I wish those moments last.

I think about so many things in the past that have made me happy: college days, my trips to Israel, dancing, elementary school, fun hangouts with your high school friends, being a camp counselor, going to day camp, working at an old job, missing a friend – the list goes on.

I am not sure why but I tend to rather get sad than happy when I think about these times; sad because they’re over and I can’t relive them again. Can I do some of the things I have once done before? Of course, I can. But a saying goes, “All good things must come to an end,” and it’s true and it sucks.

I am sitting here working and barely sleeping and trying to figure out this adult life and it’s hard.

It pains me knowing that I can’t get back the things that I loved. I know this may sound a bit dramatic, but how would you feel sitting at home not wanting to go to work and pay bills and go to appointments and deal with life… Crap that’s thrown at you as an adult?

I am telling you – the youth days and college days were a blast.

I still miss some pastimes even if I did some things as an adult – I went to Israel at the age of 25 for the third time and I miss it like crazy. I will never see half of the girls on met on my trip that live around the globe. I love my boyfriend but can’t go out and flirt like I want to like I did in the good old days (I am very loyal to my boyfriend don’t worry).

These things may sound weird to miss and people may say, “Get over it.”

But, to be honest, I feel like sometimes my life is slipping away through work, bills, and boredom and I am not sure what to do. It pains me. I am happy for the good memories I have but to relive those moments again would be amazing. Maybe in time I can learn to be a happy adult. But, for now, I will just have some self-pity. Call me a baby but is what it is.

My feelings are valid.

Take care of yourself and hold on to the memories. Taylor Swift said it best: “Hold on to the memories they will hold on to you.”

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About the Author

Molly Rose lives in PA but is originally from NY. She wrote for Odyssey Online in 2017 and has now started her journey with Puckermob. Molly is getting her Master’s degree online in Human Services at Capella University. She is an advocate for individuals with disabilities. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

One Person Perfectly Described What Happens After You Lose The ‘Butterflies’ In A Relationship

If you’re ever been in a long-term relationship, you’d know first-hand that they are a lot of work. When you first meet someone, you’re happy, giddy, excited to get to know them and see where your relationship goes. As you progress in your relationship – transitioning from casual dating to a real relationship, a lot of things change. Long gone are the days where you blush, get embarrassed or nervous in front of your significant other – and instead, you reach a peak comfort zone with them. While this is never a bad thing – all long-term relationships should aspire to reach this place – some people are always worrisome when the “butterflies” and “Honeymoon stage” comes to an end.

People are always looking for ways to bring back that “excitement and spark” in their relationships, instead of feeling comfortable or happy with where their relationships are moving. Take it from someone who has been here – who is here – in their life. Once you reach new stages in your relationship – meeting your partner’s family, moving in together, traveling together – your relationship in itself will inevitably change. You reach a new level of commitment and often times, that means the excitement won’t always be there every single day. That’s not to say that it’s gone forever – it’s just not there every waking moment of your life together.

Sure, some days you’ll be excited to see your partner after work or school, other days, you’ll both be exhausted and barely speak because all you want to do is go to bed. It’s natural – it’s not a red flag, it’s nothing to worry about. It took me a very long time to learn this truth.

One person on Tumblr perfectly summed up the truth behind reaching this point in long-term relationships – and, it could not be truer.

Honestly – preach. I needed to read this – to fully understand and appreciate this chapter in my relationship and, I’m sure other people do, too.

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